HEADS OR TAILS

There are times in my life that are vivid memories.  Some are good and some are not so much.  We had an experience while driving to JAX that I probably won't forget for some time.

We decided NOT to take I-95.  We  found US 90 instead.  It runs North to South up the eastern coast of Florida.  The beauty was not lost on us; greens, purples, rolling hills.  The small towns passed, one much like the other, as we made our way to our destination. I was sailing along, approximately 60 miles per hour.  During one "nanosecond", I saw four car lights headed toward me, on a two lane road, as they dipped into the pocket of the road.  I immediately slammed on my breaks, and pulled to the right shoulder.  Before my friend could even ask what I was doing, the black car veered into the left lane in front of the car he was illegally passing.  Some time after that I started breathing again.

It will be a very long time before that image will leave my mind.  We both thanked God for His mercy. He really does take good care of me.

Oh well

At the last minute, actually, the Dr realized that I was allergic to Lidocane and cancelled the procedure for the day.  I was ready to go ahead, even with the allergy, but he said no.  We have rescheduled for next Thurs and Friday. Now he has to do surgery instead of a simple procedure. More tests next week and have to stay somewhere all night Thursday.  My friend has offered to go with me again, but she has to check with her husband about their schedule.

I am very disappointed that the procedure wasn't done.  I was ready to be out of pain.  This is supposed to work, and again my weight was mentioned by everyone I talked with yesterday.  I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT!  I'm considering a lapband procedure.  I have to contact my head doctor at Mayo to see if he will refer me, AND, if medicare will cover it.  Who knows?

The procedures and processes take a long time at Mayo. They are very thorough.  But, I'm frustrated, at times, with everything.  I hope that I am learning something; at the very least - patience.  And, we all know I certainly need that.

Back at home today and really wiped out.  I have to take the "Sim" that is in my bipad to the company today.  They need to read it and see if I'm following all the rules.  I THINK I should be okay.  I'm certainly sleeping better, usually for at least 6 hrs or more.

It was good to "refresh" my relationship with my friend.  It's very interesting in that we have a lot of the same ideas on what we need to be doing with our lives.  I wonder if God planned this?  He's know for doing things like that.

No Lottery Today

Being in Tallahassee gives me pause for thought - What if?  It certainly makes my head spin.  I went to Jacksonville yesterday for a follow-up visit.  I saw the "Pain Management Dr." and he wants me to come back today to get injections in my back.  That in itself isn't unique, but ending up in Tallahassee could have been.

A friend I have know for about 10 years is with me.  Coming to Tallahassee and staying at her daughters apartment was not only to visit, but to be in the "general" vicinity for my appointment today.  It's great to renew friendships and to learn what has been happening during our time apart.  We also dreamed of what we could do for God with all the Lottery money.

It's a good thing my friend is with me.  She has to drive back.  If you know me, my car is just another thing to me.  Don't get me wrong, I do like it; can't afford it; but like it just the same.  She thinks I have issues about someone driving my car.  (It's probably a control issue thing.)  Little does she know, I really don't care who drives my car and look forward to sleeping on the way back.  It could have been so much more interesting though if we had won the money.

Anyone have tissues?

Is it okay to call all tissues "Kleenex?"  Probably not, but whatever you want to call them, I need some.  Somehow I have developed a sinus infection and have probably blown my nose so much I could probably paper my bedroom wall with the amount of tissues I've used.  In fact, I think I saw that episode on HGTV, starring Vern Yip.  I now have antibiotics, sprays, inhalers, and most anything else I can take to try to stop the drainage.  (Yes I know, thanks for sharing.)

I actually have been feeling so much better lately that I am even considering going back to work.  I have an appt on June 30 at Mayo.  I will get an update on my progress.  I am now on a Bipap machine and have been sleeping quite well at night, except to get up to blow my nose.  This machine is quiet and I have a nose clip that I use instead of the face mask.  It has 2 levels-one to start and then it ramps up to my prescription amount on the 2nd level.

I have a friend going with me to Mayo.  It was somewhat confusing when I worked with her, as her name is Sheila too, but we have remained friends and I really appreciate her friendship.  Since I haven't seen her for a while, we will have a lot to talk about while we motor to JAX.  We've decided to make it a "road trip", maybe even staying overnight on the beach.  Who knows?  But then again, we could also end up in Tallahassee.  We might have to pick up that Lottery winnings.

Is Honesty Really a Good Policy?

When someone hurts your feelings, what should you do?  Tell them?  Ignore it?  or come back with some sort of "retort"?  I'm never sure how to respond. I try to ask questions to find out why they feel that way, but usually I am so surprised that I can't do anything at the exact moment.

Yesterday was one of those days, one of those comments, and it came from a "friend."  I had just been to a movie with this "friend" and she text me, and when I opened it she said, "You are so mean; you hate everyone."  How do you respond to that?

I responded with "What makes you say that?"  Her response was, "Everyone thinks that."  I asked her who thought that and where was this remark coming from.  She said it would take too long to explain, but she would talk to me soon. (She left it at that)

My youngest son says I have control issues.  My husband "implies" I can't do anything right.  And now, from a friend I'm mean and hate everyone?  I don't know.  I must be a horrible person, but I don't see any of that.  I try to be kind to everyone.  I have no control over anything-sometimes not even my body functions.  I don't hate anyone.  And, I know of a lot of things I can do right. So, where do I go from here?

Green Acres

It's a good thing I have a smart GPS or who knows where I would be today - trying to decide whether to play the theme song from Deliverance on my banjo, or sing "bop bop, Green Acress is the place to be; farm living is the life for me..." decisions, decisions.  There were slight apprehensions when I couldn't find 2 streets my GPS was trying to direct me to take.  Only later did I find out that the name of 2 of the streets had been changed.  Needless to say, I did not have the faintest idea where I was or in what direction I needed to go. 

I stopped by to see my friends who have moved to "God's Country" in North Florida.  I use this title because even the satellites on my phone or car could not get any signals; only God can reach this place easily. 

It WAS peaceful and quiet - The birds were the only things"twittering". Trees, trees and more trees; lots of quiet, and more trees.  I DID sleep 9 hrs that night which might or might not have had to do with PT at Mayo, and a 4.5 hr drive in the sun, or a very long day beginning very early.  Who knows for sure.  I do know this-it was good to see them after a very long absence.

These are the type friends that are always there-no matter how long between visits, we just picked up where we left off.  We all went to college together 40+ years ago and have lived close to each other several times in those years.   In fact, two of the three times I've been married, Byron facilitated.  We have a lot of history, and they are very dear to me.

Since then, I've been visiting drs, picking up information, and continuing to try to get healthy.  I now have a "bipap" machine to help me breathe better at night.  I am sleeping longer and deeper which allows really wierd dreams.  I may even include one or two sometime just to let you know how really crazy I am.

Tonight we are going to MK to see the former electrical street parade and new fireworks.  It will certainly be a good time had by all.

THE MONTH OF MAY

Life can be crazy and busy.  Life can be confusing.  My life in general tends to be all of the above, at the same time.  Barb, my friend from out of town, came and spent a month with me.  She came to help me organize my house and life.  She also came to give me support, which I desperately needed at the time.  She went to Mayo with me and will continue to support me as she has gone home.  She gives me "Reality Checks" which we I need from time to time.  Only a true friend can do that.

Returning to Mayo on Tues, I will have additional testing and determine levels of medication and Physical Therapy.  I will go by myself this time.  (I'm a big girl; I can do it.)

During this past two weeks, I have also had a cousin visit, nephew and his wife and 4 children, my sister-in-law and her daughter, plus some friends with their young daughter.  Busy times, and I am tired.  I have literally slept off and on for the last two days.  Weiner has been right beside me.  I don't know if that is good for her or not, but she is there all the same.  Even though it has been hectic, these are people I have not seen for some time and have enjoyed every minute I have been physically able to spend with them.

My family and friends mean so much to me.  They continue to support me with prayers and wonderful thoughts.  To my husband, too many people can be overwhelming.  To me, they are comfort and warmth.  They are support and "warm fuzzies" when I need them, and they lift my spirits when they don't even know they are doing it.  Without them, I'd be lost.  I am blessed!

CULT OR CHURCH

Where does becoming a "follower" begin?  Is it at the time of acceptance of Jesus, or could it be later, or earlier?  I'm not quite sure, but I do know that God requires us to FOLLOW HIM.  How we do that is different for each person as He has multifaceted  paths for each of us-no two people are the same.

I do know He does NOT:
require us to "shun" our family
listen ONLY to the "leader" of our church
read ONLY books written by a "certain" group of people
argue with people about religious beliefs

We are not convicted by someone else's beliefs, nor are we to follow a "person" who says he is Jesus Incarnate.  We must have a PERSONAL, MENTAL, and SPIRITUAL relationship with God.  Prayer,  Bible Study, The Holy Spirit, and having an "Open Heart" to God's leadings, are all things we must nuture in order to get stronger in our beliefs and have a closer, more personal relationship to God.

God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit are on call 24/7.

Mustard or MAYO

If you have never seen an Ant Farm, and would like to see one, go to the MAYO Clinic, Jax, FL.  Trails, levels, places to eat, and oh yes, ants.  Switch ants to people and you have the place.

One week there of testing and exhaustion is enough for me.  Efficient, logical, timely, and any other positive adjective you can imagine for the clinic.  "Testing" days, ending with 3 flights of stairs up to our condo just about kicked it for me.  Barb and I decided to come home early.  (We really missed Wiener)  The condo was not all it was cracked up to be.

On a more upbeat note, I received good news and even better news.  Diagnosis is multi-faceted:

1.  Bone spur in one of the nerves of my spine
2.  Fibromyalgia
3.  Border-line diabetes
4.  Extremely high-
     Triclycerides; thyroid- should not be higher than .4 and mine was
     77.6; blood pressure; white cell count (usually indicates infection);
5.  Vitamin D deficiency - practically non existent
6.  Sleep Apnea - timing out once every minute I was asleep - Going back
     June 1/2 for "full blown" testing for this

I THINK that is it, but all treatable.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!

It is hopeful that the bone spur can be dissolved and not have surgery.  I'm doing PT and go back for "shots" and consultation duing June 1/2 visit.  Already started on medications to help deal with other issues.

Reprieve is the only word that comes to mind.  The condo is a whole different issue.

HOWEVER OR BECAUSE

Tutoring is a favorite thing for me to do.  I am now working with a lady who is back in school to regain a new profession.  She's having some problems with language and math.  We are working together 2 or 3 days a week in those areas.

One of the things she had never learned in school was not to use However or Because to start a sentence. It doesn't seem to be a rule any more; why I don't know.  In fact, we come across the usage frequently in her practice books.  Teaching to the test, which is what most teachers have to do in this day and age, does not give you much time to actually teach the skills necessary for reading and writing.

I know Charlie Crist has had some flack about vetoing the teacher merit evaluation but it is probably one of the best things he has done while in any office for the State of Florida.  He and Jeb Bush, in my opinion, have really messed with the Educational System in this state.  My question is "How can you make decisions about ANYTHING that you have not experienced or about which you have no first-hand knowledge?"  Leave it to your advisors?  This is probably what is being done, but as we all know GIGO-Garbage In; Garbage out. If they are advised by people who have axes to grind, so to speak, or don't really know anything about the classroom or teaching, then you get poor decision-making tactics and lousy laws.

Why should a teacher be paid on student performance?  No one else's salary is done this way.  If my surgery doesn't go well, do we withhold the Hospital's payment?  If my car doesn't perform correctly, is the mechanic sued or the car?  Most people are paid on "their" performance.  And, while I'm complaining, why must we have the idiotic tests anyway?  Tests only tell us what someone doesn't know; not what they do know.

Most European countries have two strains of learning - If you want to go to college, you take certain qualifying tests, if you pass them, you stay on the "strain of learning" that leads to college level classes; then move into college almost as an additional "level of learning" much like here when students move from Junior High to High School.  If you don't want to go to college, you take the "strain of learning" leading to some sort of trade or apprenticeship. I personally think this makes much more sense than the way we try to cram all students into the "molds of learning" we have in the United States.  But, again, no one asked me.

It's time to retire my soap box once again and go to bed (total waste of time).  Tomorrow is another day and God is still in control.  I am grateful for this.  But one more thing I've noticed - What about the earthquakes and volcanic activity we have had?  Anyone read Revelations lately?

Longer

For some reason, this April 7 was harder than usual for me.  It took several days to get back to my "normal," activities, whatever those happen to be.  The "normal" line keeps moving in my world, so it's hard to tell where it is at any given time.  Time marches on and I'm back up to "doing" and "moving" in my spaces.

Wiener is having some health issues in that she has a "rash of some sort" from a mysterious unknown allergic reation.  She really needs a bath, which she will get tomorrow as she has an appointment on Friday with a new vet.  My previous vet has moved to Emergency "vet things" whatever that happens to be, and a friend recommended a new vet that I'm going to visit.  Her other vet was about an hour away and extremely expensive.  This change is probably good.  I look forward to meeting him.

I went to a new dermatologist this passed week and I also have a rash on my shoulders and chest.  It is a mysterious, unknown allergic reaction to an undiagnosed substance.  Sounds familiar doesn't it?  Maybe we both should either see the vet or the dermatologist together.  Decisions; decisions.  I'll just ask for additional meds from the vet.  That should take care of everything.

ONCE AGAIN

It's been another year without Tom; eight altogether now.  The "wound" is not so raw; it just aches.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him and what might have been.  I know God loves me and wants the best for me, so why wasn't Tom that "good" that I needed.  As my friend's grandson used to say, "I can't know."

Wednesday I will do my usual "hiding" thing somewhere by myself and try to get through the day one more time.  I'll try to remember the events of THAT day; my friends; the numbness; the police; my sons; and, I'll get through it again.  And, I'll go on.  My biggest question is "Why not me?"

WHAT TO DO?

The old adage that you really don't get involved until it affects you is true. With resigning from my former job, I had to reassign my health insurance. What a mess of paperwork!!!  That is not why I'm upset.  I went to pickup 4 prescriptions yesterday and they wanted me to pay almost $300.00. That is with two different insurance companies supposedly covering me.  What is with that?

Not only do I not want to pay that much, I won't pay that much for pills that I don't even want to take in the first place.  No wonder Americans can't afford to be sick.  THAT IS JUST WRONG!!!

We are the richest nation in the world.  We feed and clothe every other nation in the world.  We send money and supplies to everyone else and can't even take care of our own people. It is a crime.  Where does it stop?

Across the Pond

My friend, Meg, is in the great state of Florida from across the pond, as she likes to state.  She's been here since March 8 and I haven't seen her yet.  She's leaving April 5.  Short trip.  I just tonight talked with her asking  "IF" she was gracing me with her presence.  Although she waves like QE, she isn't quite that snobby but her reply "If you're lucky" which is a typical response from her.

She calls her husband, Harry, TFB (aka The Filthy Beast.)  It was a name we gave him some time ago for reasons I'll save for another time.  We use it "lovingly" and with his dry sense of humor he responds much as he does with everything.  I love the English.  They were always my favorite people to survey and to work with while at my last job.  She would fight to the death denying she's English of course, just the same, Scotland is still part of the United Kingdom even though no one over there wants to admit it.

I can't believe it's been so long.  Her grandson, Bailey, is 6 now and he was just born the last time she was here, or at least the last time I've seen or talked with her.  We "hit it off" from the time we met; just one of those relationships.  We were both teachers; retiring about the same time from teaching for some of the same reasons.  We had been married about the same amt of time.  We both had 2 (natural) children.  And, we both had/have about the same type of humor, or lack thereof.  We had joined a water aerobics class in the "sparkling" town of Hudson, Florida and neither one of us knew what we were doing.  We quickly learned, neither did many of the other women that were in the class.  That was the year my mother moved in with us and we had the house remodeled.  We spent the summer in someone's house in Hudson to allow the "construction/destruction" to be completed.  Interesting how life turns and twists, isn't it?

We've made a "tentative" meeting for Monday at one of the parks.  I really hope that happens.  I even got my Scottish/English dictionary out and have been studying.  [I must quit for a time to go to the loo.]  It wouldn't be wise to take the computer into an area with that much water.  I know the phone doesn't work well submerged.  (Don't ask)  I'm thinking the computer probably won't either.  Stayed tuned for the ongoing saga of Adventures across the Pond or See Meg swim.  Swim Meg Swim.

How spoiled is too spoiled?

Watching the tv program "All Creatures Great and Small", filmed in the UK, I loved the individual characters and how they interacted with each other.


The time frame was just before WWII.  There were two vets Siegfried Farnon and the main character Dr. James Herriot.  The older vet had a brother, Tristan, who eventually became a vet also. But, one of my favorite characters was this extremely rich woman, Mrs. Pumphrey, who called Dr Herriot, Uncle Herriot, to her dog-Tricky Woo. The dog was a hand fed, overweight, creature with a poor digestive system, and could not exercise because of the weight problem. He mostly sat on a cushion beside Mrs. Pumphrey.


That dog was probably the most spoiled animal in the history known to mankind. I hate to say that Wiener is second to any other animal, but she is second ONLY to that little fluffball.


Wiener sleeps on her own pillow, or one of mine, whichever she prefers; in my queen-sized bed which isn't big enough sometimes according to her. She eats organic food, which helps to keep her stomach from being upset; not to mention prime rib, chicken and other "carnivorous type" items that are left over from my dinner.  (We've stopped the bagels and cream cheese - too many calories.  We're dieting.)


She does "circles" when she needs to go out.  After climbing up on the couch, she flops down on her back, with her legs up in the air, and demands constant "belly rubs" along with many back scratches and nose rubs. (I have no idea what she did when I was working.  It must have really been rough on her.)


As a saying from an old cartoon says, "He's Crabby Appleton - rotten to the core." She's not usually crabby, but definitely pushy and even more so "rotten to the core."


Yes.  In the dictionary beside the word 'spoiled' is a picture of Wiener, but she also serves a function in this family.  She is by my side most of the day; keeps me company and empathizes with me when I don't feel well.  My type of friend.  It's kind of neat having someone who really understands me. I am so misunderstood, and obviously very well trained.

The Ides of March

The Ides of March (Latin: Idus Martias) is the name of March 15 in the Roman calendar. The term ides was used for the 15th day of the months of March, May, July, and October. The Ides of March was a festive day dedicated to the god Mars and a military parade was usually held. In modern times, the term Ides of March is best known as the date that Julius Caesar was killed in 709 AUC or 44 B.C.

In William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, Caesar is warned to "beware the Ides of March."

Checking some of my journals, this time of the year, seems to be more "mopey" or even "indecisive" for me. That's the only way I can describe it.  Being in therapy, I can usually recognize the warnings, but sometimes they slip up on me and I get "down" before I can realize it.

Melodie Beattie's book "The Language of Letting Go", is so much a part of me that I could be the post child for it if she needs one. Today she says, "Sometimes the way is not clear. Our minds get clouded, confused. We aren't certain what our next step should be, what it will look like, what direction we are headed. That is the time to stop, ask for guidance, and then rest. That is the time to let go of fear. Feel the confusion and chaos, and let it go. The path will show itself. The next next step shall be revealed. We don't have to know now. We will know in time. Trust that. Let go and trust."

Wow.  That is so me lately.  When I moved to FL, almost 40 years ago, there were very few days throughout the year that were NOT sunny.  In fact, The St Pete Times had an offer that if the sun failed to shine some time during the day, the paper was free.  

As most everyone knows, we have had a dreary winter.  Maybe that is one of the reasons for my funk.  I'm not working outside the apt, which I have done most of my life.  That could also contribute.  In addition, I'm awaiting testing, cleaning out closets, readjusting my lifestyle.  And, it's raining most of the day today.  It probably isn't any ONE reason.  At least for today, I will practice waiting, trusting and resting.  So simple. Who knew?

Tomorrow

Procrastination is something I have always been able to master.  In fact, if degrees were given out I would probably have a PhD.  True to my "crab" personality, I retreat when overwhelmed, try to regroup, and then return.  In actuality, I am just avoiding the issue.


Right now I have piles of paperwork.  There is so much, I am depressed just looking at it.  I know I need to do it, but I don't want to.  This is an extremely dangerous cycle to continue.  Some of the paperwork is time sensitive.  I could have already missed some deadlines; even that doesn't both me. 


What to do; what to do.  I need a wife to take care of all this junk for me.  Cats have the right idea.  Nap now; search for food later.

To Sign or Not to Sign

Once a year, just like clockwork, our lease expires.  I have lived in this complex almost 5 years, 2 with the "person I can't mention" and almost 3 with Bob.  Ordinarily, we have been given 2 months free rent to renew our lease.  This year they have decided to only give us one month.  I am NOT a happy camper, to say the least.

I have contacted several "Managers" up the food chain and they are not budging.  If I was feeling better, I would move.  Right now, I can't physically manage it and Bob doesn't want to do so.  So, at least for this year, I guess we're stuck here.

It's not that I am dissatisfied with the apartment complex.  It's okay.  They are very quick to do repairs and they have always maintained the grounds.  I just feel it is unfair for some tenants to get 2-months free rent, and some are not privileged to that option.  According to "one of the mgrs," the promotions are done due to accessibility of apartments.

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see how many empty apartments there are on this property and know they have to be hurting for tenants.  How can all the 2-bedroom, 2-bath apartments be full and the promotion only extended to two bedroom tenants.  According to everyone I've talked with if we MOVED to a one bedroom, or a three bedroom we could get two free months.  AND, the three bedroom apartments are cheaper than the one we're renting now.

I really don't understand all the logic or lack of, from what they are saying but I will certainly think long and hard before I renew again.  Maybe by then, we can afford a house.  Who knows.  I wonder if "Ween" has thought about modeling.

Documentation

Sarcoidosis is a disease characterized by the development and growth of tiny clumps of inflammatory cells in different areas of your body. Sarcoidosis can affect virtually any organ, but most commonly it affects your lungs, lymph nodes, eyes and skin. (Per Mayo Clinic)

Approximately 10 years ago, I was given the diagnosis of Sarcoidosis.  The only reason I mention it now is because I wanted a documentation of an episode I had today.  If you are reading this, it is not necessary to contact me.  This is just informational.


Today, while I was shopping at Publix, in my right eye I had a "stripe" of white that appeared.  It looked like someone had swiped a paint brush across my glasses.  (I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time.)  I broke out in a cold sweat and the store started swirling around.  Fainting is not something I have ever done, but I had no doubt I was about to do so.  I grabbed the cart and stood up straight. It's amazing what you HAVE TO DO, when you need to do it. Checking out of the store and going home at that time was something God helped me to do.


When I got home, I had lost so much water from sweating, all my clothes were drenched.  I asked Bob to put away the groceries and went into the bedroom to lay down.  Wiener automatically followed me.  She begged to get on the bed, crawled onto my stomach and began to lick my face rapidly.  She stopped.  Put her head on my face, took it off and began to lick my face again.  (I think she was trying to stop the sweating.)  When I stopped sweating, she stopped.


After about 15 minutes, I was able to return to the kitchen.  Fortunately, I had gotten some orange juice and quickly drank a glass.  I was thinking about dehydration or at least loss of potassium.  The juice helped me feel better, at least mentally.
[Kind of ironic that I comically talked today in an earlier blog about symptoms that I just had.  Who knew?]

The "B" word

Today is a good day.  Why you might ask?  It's payday.  In it's self that is not as exciting as some days of the week, but today is when I start my new "b-----."  I HATE THE WORD!!! It should probably be a 4-letter word, except it's not.  And, I have NEVER been very good at it.  If I am to survive without working, I will certainly have to pay attention to it.


Being the "spoiled, overly pampered, privileged princess" that I am (Bob's words; not mine) I have not really thought about "the word" much in the last 40 years of my life. Reality is - I have to do this. How do I go about setting up a "b-----?"  Where do I start?  Who gets what?  


I am already sweating; vision is getting fuzzy; I think I'm going to faint.  (It's a good thing I can type laying down.)  I have heard people use the phrase "Champagne taste with a beer b-----."  I'm about the find out what that means.

WAITING

Lines.  Traffic.  Money.  Promises.  Sometimes it seems as if all I do is wait.  I don't know about you, but I do not do it well sometimes.  If I were to confess honestly, and that is the best policy, I don't do it well most of the time.  But, thank God, I'm better than I used to be.

Is impatience heredity?  Where does it derive?  Do we learn to wait?  Or, does waiting become easier the more we have to do it?  Or, maybe it becomes easier with knowledge, and, dare I say it, with age.  I can't say for sure how we obtain patience except by experiencing life.  For me, it is hard.  I'm in, what I call, a "holding" pattern right now.  Resting is about the only thing I can do well.  And, of course, talk with God and Wiener.

Wiener has learned the word wait.  (Sometimes I think she's smarter than me.)  I ask her to wait when we go out so I can tie my shoes. Then when we go for a walk I ask her to wait while I talk with a neighbor.  And, the most impatient time for her is when I am getting her food ready - she has to wait then, too.  You can learn a lot from Wiener.  I may need to write a book on "Wienerism" and then follow her advice. Sometimes waiting also involves napping.

TODAY

"This is the day that the Lord hath made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

STINKER OR THINKER

What is the difference between talking WITH God or praying TO God?  Is there a difference between thinking GREAT thoughts or thinking BIG thoughts about GOD?  Dreaming GREAT dreams or dreaming BIG dreams for God?  Doing GREAT things or doing BIG things for God?  Do we achieve the same results in doing either?  Are the words interchangeable?  And, will God be pleased with either?

Do I have to have the answers when I come up with these enormous theological questions? Maybe not. Joyce Meyer JUST NOW said on the tv, "It's enough just to be at peace.  We don't have to think a lot or do a lot of things to get answers.  Common sense is a gift from God.  Frustration and confusion are not from God.  Just DO the word!"  Wow.  Talk about timing.

FORM A HABIT:
1.  of studying the Word
2.  of talking to God about everything
3.  of being led by peace (Shalom)
4.  of saying NO to ourselves and YES to God

Every time God shows up with the answer to my questions, in REAL TIME as they say, I am amazed.  I don't know why.  "A relative close to me" has always said that my theme song should be "I Need Thee Every Hour."  It has been a joke in the family for years.  I think he might be right.  That is MY song.  I must remember that and live it like I believe it.

P.S.  Something that just came to me while I was conversing with God this morning - I'M ALREADY GREAT IN GOD'S EYES. " I am the apple of His eye."  "He has written my name on His right hand."  Wow!  I can't believe I had forgotten those scriptures.  Thanks for reminding me Father.

MOCK'S ADVICE

In the words of the esteemed Mr. Charles Mock, "The larger the screwup; the bigger the present."  If that is true, evidentially, Bob thought he was in deep Cau Cau.  He gave me all new living room furniture for Valentines.  (Maybe also Anniversary, Birthday and probably St Swizzle's Day.)
(Delivery day at Apt; beautiful FL weather)


Two weeks ago, He said "Let's go to lunch."  Seemingly harmless.  We usually eat lunch or dinner together, so I said "Okay."  Instead of going to a restaurant, he pulled into the parking lot of a local "Rooms To Go."  When I asked why we were here, he just said, "Oh; to look around."


After about 15 minutes of looking, he asked if I saw anything I liked.  I had already "eyed" a nearby set and said, "As a matter of fact, I did."  He called a saleslady over and asked, "If we were to purchase this furniture, does the 50" tv still go with it?"  


It's hard to keep me from talking, but believe it or not, I just stood there with my mouth open saying "What?"  Bob asked when I wanted it delivered and I calculated it would take several days to get the apt ready, so I said "Next Thursday." 


I honestly started to protest, but the last time I did, he accused me of being ungrateful.  I didn't want him to think I was rejecting his gift. (Also in Pastor's sermon last Sunday)  I had to get rid of all the furniture in the living room (required 3 different people to do a pick up or drop off); schedule a carpet cleaning, rearrange the bedroom furniture (also getting rid of some of it), schedule a tv delivery, and a Bright House person to attach the new box and set up tv in the midst of trying to buy supplemental insurance, looking at houses to buy, schedule testing at Mayo Clinic, picking up documents from my 8 doctors, and trying to meet with some friends from NY who were at WDW.  (pics later)


Thanks to friends, family, delivery schedulers, and anyone else I could beg, it all happened.  Vicki was especially helpful.  Have you seen the "Glad bag piano movers?"  That was Vicki and me moving the stuff and boxes that had to be moved.  Nothing ended up in a Glad bag, but it was touch and go for a while; especially trying to move the chair up a staircase of "a relative close to me."
Wiener has already chosen several spots. We're all surprised; after all, she lets us live here out of the goodness of her heart.  It must have something to do with her not being able to open the food or not having thumbs. I'm not sure.


I think this is the first time I have ever had a whole room of new furniture at one time.  It looks grey, but it is really a light chocolate color and I'm using green and red accents.  I have a "throw" that the girls gave me for Christmas one year and I have always liked the colors. (The HGTV shows are finally paying off.)


For whatever reason, Bob decided to give me the furniture and I really like it.  I guess now I have to be nice to him.  Mock was right - either Bob really thought he stepped in it or is going to, or could it be?  He really likes me and wants me to be happy? For whatever reason, we have all new furniture in the living room.


Who is Mock?  He's a man of deep thinking and ideas; very sensitive, and I use to work with him.  Maybe it's a "Magical Moment."  (Inside joke.)

Mayo Visit

Every new experience is an adventure for me.  Visiting THE Mayo Clinic was just that.  The government could take lessons in organization.  My five appointments went like "clockwork."  I went from place to place without any problems of scheduling or wasted time.


I liked the doctor I was assigned - Dr P.  Very professional, friendly, asked great questions and, actually seemed to hear what I was saying.  His evaluation of my symptoms generate the additional testing they will do.  I was actually scheduled to have additional testing this week, but I decided I was not prepared to stay so they rescheduled and I will be going back on May 17 for a week of testing.  


They do not have facilities for you to stay AT the clinic.  You must book a room in a nearby hotel, stay there over night and return the next day for the testing.  I decided I needed some time to make arrangements so we rescheduled and came home.


He found some neuropathy in my lower extremities.  That is part of the problem with my feet staying so cold.  He's not sure what is causing it, so he is testing to see what is found.  No one has ever mentioned that aspect of testing.  He also wants to do a "Psych Eval." (For those who know me, that has been a long time coming.  I have always been told I was crazy).  Sorry, they will be testing my memory.  And, when the results come back "normal"  I will have PROOF.  So there!


I certainly felt a lot better after talking with him.  I think I've come to the right place and we will FINALLY find out what is wrong with me, PHYSICALLY at least.  

New addition

We now have a new member of our family.  Luke.  He's my new Granddog.  He's so cute.  I didn't even know we were expecting.  I'm always the last to know everything.

We haven't had him tested yet, but I'm sure he's very bright; very intelligent eyes.  Now Joey has a playmate.  He's also part Lab, like Joey.  And, presumably, young.  He's still a little hyper (per the new Papa). 

He was adopted, as natural childbirth is not possible at this time.  He's trained, to some degree.  (We're still working on that).  Hey.  God is still working on my training too.

We're so excited.  I can hardly wait to meet him.  Wiener, on the other hand, is not impressed. 

When you're cute, you're cute

Shopping is not something I do easily.  I know; I know.  It's supposed to be a "woman's thing."  As a close relative of mine would say, "I didn't get that gene."  When I HAVE to go shopping, I try to make it a one place thing so that I can finish quickly and get out of the store.  I went to a local "super store" several days ago, had 5 things on my list.  I got 7. There were 2 "adorable" dresses there, $1 each, for the "Ween."  Of course, I had to have them.

When the temperature here drops below 65, she doesn't want to go outside, and she loves playing dress up, so we had to try out one of the outfits as it was only a high of 60 today.  She didn't want me to take it off when we returned to the apartment.

Julie says she looks like a sausage.  I say more "bratwurst" than wiener.  But, who's to say.  You can't see the writing on the back, but it says  "Princess."  (I wonder?)

She's glad to have me home.  I feel like singing "Me and My Shadow."  I can't even move without her RIGHT behind me.  The question is though - How else could she show off her new outfits if I were not here? Shortly after I took that picture, she had to nap.  (It's hard work looking this cute.)

Addendum to Highs and Lows

Anyone read the book or see the movie - Catch 22?  The basic principle was there were only two choices and neither one would work. I happen to "march" into Catch 22 many times.  This is one of them.  When I was working, I qualified to buy the house.  Now that I am not working, I do not qualify to get the house. Oh well.  It was fun while it lasted.

I'm not upset, just a little disappointed.  It seemed everything was falling into place.  I know God is in control.  I just wonder what He is thinking some times.  Not that I have to know, or that I would even understand; it would just be nice.

I use to say, "Wait until I die.  I have a million questions for God."  Now, I've come to the conclusion, neither the questions nor the answers will matter in Heaven, so I guess I can throw away my list.  Life is really too short to be bogged down in unimportant matters.  If I want to be great in God's eyes, then I have to Think Great Thoughts, Dream Great Dreams, and Do Great Things for Him.  And, that is my goal.  (That should keep me busy for a while.)

HIGHS AND LOWS

Ever have a day full of highs and lows?  It's really interesting, to say the least.

I have gotten this "totally wild" idea that I want to move into a house. Why? I can't for the life of me know, but there it is.  Yesterday, Julie and I went looking again.  We found a lovely house, in my price range, on the water, that needed some repairs.  I'm not really into that right now, so we went back to one we had already looked at.  I really liked it when I first saw it.  It was one of four that we were to look at, but 2 were "short sales" which is a challenge and don't want to do (or so I'm told.)  One was not available as it already had a contract pending and the last one, the one I liked, was still available.

We went back to the house, and wouldn't you know, the bank that owns the house, was adding all new appliances.  They had the yard mowed and cleaned of old leaves and branches; had added new carpeting and paint, and it looked even better than when we first saw it.  No additional price.  I was overwhelmed and excited.  Julie, who is a realtor, called the bank to see how we could make an offer.  It was amazing.

At the same time, we had taken Wiener, (seemed like a good idea at the time) she had pooped in the yard and when she sat down on my lap, proceeded to wipe her butt on my jeans.  Of course, it was green and smelly.  Needless to say, I had to go home and change before we could finish some errands we were going to do while out.

We're off again.  Found everything I needed; did everything I was to do; went home. Vicki can't come on Thurs to help me pack, so we rescheduled that for Monday; scheduled a trip to Pasco for Tuesday; called for a carpet cleaning for Tuesday, as they are bringing new furniture on Thursday and the carpet needs 2 days to dry; called about Ween's grooming on Wed. Sometime this week-end, I have to get rid of 2 couches, a bookcase, a chest of drawers, a coffee table and a TV in order to place the new furniture. (Bob's Valentines Day Present to me)  I know it's confusing but try to keep up.  I'm confused and I live here.

And, so my life goes.  It's a good thing I resigned.  I'm much too busy to work.

As Time Goes By

January 30, 2010
Today would have been my brother's 73rd birthday.  My mind will not let me visualize him at that age because he died when he was 30 years old.  I was in summer school at college, in Nashville, TN and don't remember a lot of the details of the event.  I know his plane went down on my birthday, July 12, and they found the plane and his body on his daughter's birthday - July 15.  
I had one of my "spiritual" experiences at that time.  The 15th was a Sunday.  I was at church; sunday school had just finished. I walked out of the chapel and was waiting for Tom on the porch-like area outside the chapel.  I felt an arm around my shoulder. At the same time, I heard my brother whisper in my ear - "It's okay.  I'm fine.  Everything will be okay."  He hugged me; I felt warm all over and he was gone.  This was "before" I was called for them to tell me they had found his body.  (I have had many of those in my lifetime.  I can't explain them or why I have them.  Just one of the perks of being a child of God.)

I know from experience that I was in shock and your memory isn't reliable enough to properly grasp the details in that type of instance.  Bits and pieces stand out and yet, I was fully aware of some of the "intense" events - my mother crying to the point of making herself ill; the memorial service having lots of "Marines" there and wondering why because my brother hated being in the marines; landing at the airport in Charleston, WV - diving to land on the mtn top landing strip; getting back in Nashville and wondering how I got there.

About 3 weeks later I received a reel-to-reel tape from my brother.  I remember it sounding depressing.  I only got to play it once in that it erased as it played.  (Providentially, I'm sure.) I could only remember parts of it.  I don't think my sister-in-law believed me when she asked about it several months later.  He died in Yokohama, Japan.  Billie Jean, his wife,  returned after getting most of the paperwork completed.  And, I lived with her for several months after she came back.  

She had a rough few years - She had another child while in Japan; Her Mother died of cancer; Her Father died in car wreck; She developed cancer and had to have surgery; Charlie, my brother, died in his own plane wreck. I reminded her of Charlie, and she and my mother didn't get along.  I was the one there at the time.  Those are only some of the reasons she seemed upset all the time.

Not many people did know my mother though. She was very guarded with her true emotions. In all fairness to her, I guess she had to be.  She worked hard most of her life and was only able to relax when she was able to retire after moving to Florida.  I didn't actually get to know and understand her until she came to live with us shortly after my father died in 2000.

As for my brother, I still miss him.  I probably always will.  I do remember when I was finally able to mourn for him.  I was sitting on the riverbank, some time later, behind the house where my parents lived, and I felt an intense depressive feeling come over me and I just started crying. I thought I wasn't going to be able to stop.  But I did and life goes on.  I look forward to seeing him again.  He could always make me laugh.

Sowing and Reaping

Galatians 6:7 (King James Version)

" ⁷Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

There are many laws that God set up when He made the Earth.  The Law of Gravity - What goes up, must come down.  The Law of Genetics - Certain traits are passed to your offspring.  Or, the Law of Sowing and Reaping.  You cannot sow corn and expect strawberries.

I was reminded of the Law of Sowing and Reaping by one of my sons last week.  He could not be more like Tom, my husband, if we had physically had him, but he is one of my adopted sons.  He and "a relative I can't mention by name" are very much alike - logical; level-headed; forthright; and definitely honest with me.  I appreciate those qualities and often go to them for advice.

Going to other humans, you have several options.  You can listen and ignore them.  You can listen, analyze the words and ignore them.  Or, you can actually "hear" what they say and incorporate it into your decisions.  It's like going to the Dr. He tells you that you need to lose weight, and you get upset with him because he has stated the obvious or you follow his directions.

Actually, going to Wiener for advice is much easier.  She looks me square in the eyes, licks my hand or face, and lays down to take a nap.  Very sound advice.  She is extremely wise in her own way.  For now, I'll follow her example.  I should write this down for posterity; maybe a book.  I even know the title - "The Laws of Wiener."  You have to admit - It has possibilities.

Golf is not a sport

Golf cannot possibly be considered a sport.  It was, at one time, men in awful plaid pants who quietly cursed at a small, round white object as they slowly chased around on a lovely green grassy park over little hills and sandy areas.  They also had young men who followed them with humongous canvas bags full of sticks with funky covers on them.  Ever so often, the young bag carriers would hand the plaid wearers a new stick to wave at the round objects and the cursing would begin again.

This week-end I learned this "activity" has changed;  when and where, I wouldn't know. Three friends from out of town, came to O-land just to chase those round, white objects around for 3 days.  They did not have a "Plan B" in case of rain, which of course did happen on the second day.  I would think that it would not be a good idea to be outside with a metal stick in my hand when it is lightening and thundering, especially on an open field with little mounds that have to be climbed.  Fortunately for this area, rain doesn't usually last long.  Plan B or C was to eat breakfast and wait until the storm moved quickly through the area.

Walking has been replaced with driving little carts all over that have racks on them that hold a smaller version bag.  No more funky clothing and no more need for the young men to carry the hugh bags.  I also got a "history" lesson on how to play and what some of the rules are now.  Watching them see the grounds for the first time was like watching little boys coming down stairs to the presents at Christmas.  Their eyes opened wide, sparkled, and I think I even saw some "drool" on their lips.  Not my cup of tea, but a seemingly harmless event.  And, they took me out to dinner last night at one of the top restaurants on property.  Three good looking guys, being able to enjoy "filet mignon" and creme brulee - it's all good.  We only have one life to live, but if you do it right, that's all you need.

FAVORITE THINGS

Funerals are definitely NOT on my list of favorite things.  When I am getting ready to go to one, I dread all sorts of things that deal with those emotions.  I had such an occasion this morning.  A friend's father died this week and  "a favorite relative" and I knew we had to go to support the friends and family.

Imagine my surprise when I came away from the Celebration of His Life, and I knew I had been to church. Wow. What a service.  One of my favorite radio "teachers" - Dr Steve Brown - was the main pastor to speak.  Not only was he inspirational but he also spoke words that touched my heart.

Ed Brandon was a leader for everyone who knew him or was related to him. He not only lived his life in a way to inspire others but as a Husband, Father, Grandfather, etc, he was true to his beliefs and God's word. The music; the words; the whole tenor of the service certainly celebrated a life you can only aspire to follow.  As he ends each of his programs, Dr Brown, completed the tribute to Ed by using his usual "program ending" - Now think about that!  I definitely will, and smile every time I remember.

Seminars can be just meetings

You name it-I've probably taken the class.  Pasco County School System is famous for it's training classes.  As you know, just because you have heard it or read about it, doesn't mean you have practiced it.  Theoretically, as a close family friend likes to say, a seminar should be helpful.

The term "seminar" conjures up, at least to me, boring, listless, or at best-meetings with perhaps one item of interest.  Sunday I attended a seminar that was interesting and possibly exactly what I needed.  "New Goals, New You" was the title and as much as I like to avoid meetings at all cost, this was worth the time and money invested.

Even if I didn't hear a lot of "new" things, I DID hear some things that I needed to hear as reminders.  I need to focus more on what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.  Organization is the name of the game for me right now.  When I get overwhelmed, I have a tendency to just "quit" and lay down.  That is precisely what I have been doing for the last month; but no more.  It's time for action.  I know what I need to do.  I just have to do it.

Why heaven came to mind, I don't know, but I started to think about what we do in heaven.  That opens another whole realm of questions for me.  I know we will be praising God for about 10, 000 years, but is that  "Heaven years, or Earth years?"  Then what?  Also, what about accountability for what we did on Earth?  How does that work?  If God FORGETS AND FORGIVES, and He does-how will we be accountable for all we've said or done while here on Earth?  If we're going to have to be accountable in Heaven, how does He forgive and forget?  Circular thinking?  It's all so confusing at times.

But, do you believe in coincidences?  Me neither.  If not though, why does the name "Sheila" mean "question" in Hebrew?  Check out Jeremiah 1:5.

DECISIONS?

Working New Years was a little different in that it was "quieter" than I thought it would be; more people worked than I imagined would be there; and, we got to party 'a little' for about a minute and a half with hats, horns, and even sparkling cider.  I even worked 8 hours; until 3:30 am on New Year's day.  I have only worked 6 hr shifts since that time.

It's time to make decisions; new year-new life.  I have been accused of having control issues.  That might be true, but once the decisions are made, I don't usually have problems doing what needs to be done.  For me, it's making THE decision.

I'm talking with "a close relative" today and asking about plans for this year.  I need a place to live.  My lease is up March 1 and I would prefer NOT to stay in this apartment.  I have seen several houses, on line, in the neighborhood, that I think I can afford.  Julie will be back today, God willing, and she will take over the "house hunting." (She's much more qualified.)  We'll see.  That leads to another issue - What to do about Bob?  [Seemed like a good idea at the time.]  To be continued. . .

We still have New Years

Christmas Day is over and as usual, I got far more than I deserved.  Family was here.  We celebrated two different times - Christmas Eve for Julie/Bret and family; Christmas Day for the rest of the family.  Julie and Bret were leaving for Oklahoma the next day, so it was good that we could be together at least for a little while.

Christmas Eve evening we went to a new restaurant to celebrate Tom's birthday, which is really December 23, but we celebrate when everyone can get together.  We went to a Greek restaurant that is "on property."  I guess I have been in too many restaurants AND I am too opinionated; but I was underwhelmed.  Being close friends with many people of Greek heritage and eaten so much food with them, that I truly must have authentic ethnic food to really like it.  This wasn't truly Greek food per se, but Greekish type food with a different flare.  The saganaki (fried cheese) was a different type of cheese and had unusual spices on it.  The meatballs had some sort of coating and the shrimp were overly "spiced" with something I couldn't identify.  The spinikopika (stuffed grape leaves) were soggy and "spaghetti" type noodles were used in the pastichio (lasagna) instead of using regular lasagna noodles.  The tsadzacki sauce (cucumber & sour cream) was great and so was the humas and flat bread.  (Some of the spellings are off a little)  I didn't have to pay for it.   I am always grateful when I get to go out and try different food, even though it doesn't sound like it.

New Years is coming up and I am supposed to work.  I have been in bed for 4 days, so I don't know what will happen.  I hope I can make it to work the next few days.  I'm thinking it's a good thing I have handed in my resignation.  I HAVE applied for a PT job there, but who knows about that.  Life is a hoot, right??

A NEW ERA

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who had a dream-to work at the most magical place on earth.  The last five years that dream has been fulfilled and it has been an experience-interesting if not enjoyable.  I have given my resignation letter and as of right now, January 30, 2010, I will no longer work for "the mouse."  I have mixed emotions - sad but at the same time, excited.

I have given this change much prayer and considerations for the last few months.  There are VARIED reasons for the decision; too numerous and personal to mention at this time.  (Who knows-they may show up in a note at a later time).

Your prayers would be appreciated.  I can hardly wait to see what God has in store.

Boycott or just tired?

Not giving gifts for Christmas is probably unconstitutional or at best, un-American but I'm not doing it. There are several reasons for this decision.

First of all, we all have too much "stuff."  Secondly, I couldn't think of a reason why we were giving gifts. After all, it's Jesus' birthday, not ours.  Thirdly, I just don't have the money this year that I have had in previous years.  I have notified all who are involved and not received any responses.  I don't know if they don't believe me, or just ignoring me. IF I do anything at all, I will donate money in their name to Habitat for Humanity, a favorite charity of mine.  It just depends on what resources present themselves.

My sister sent Wiener some small stuffed toys, which have turned out to be a big hit with the dog.  Flea and Tick are their names and they are small, stuffed, figures that she carries around in her mouth.  When the tag hangs out of her mouth, she looks "slightly" mentally challenged and is so funny to watch.

Here is a picture of Wiener bitting Flea while she is on the couch.  Her blue blankie is beside her, just in case she gets too cold.  She also has the remote close by to keep track of Animal Planet and the soaps.

Actually, Ween has fallen in love with the tree skirt, which is silky on one side and velvet on the other.  She is using this as a cover.  So, naturally, we have been unable to put it around the tree.  She also "derailed" the new train Bob purchased because it was in her way of getting to the windows in the doors that lead to the porch.  (She is really getting to be a brat.)

Joey (Edward's Dog) is coming for Christmas.  This is always a challenge as Wiener takes away his toys and food; hides the toys and eats his food.  He is part Golden Retriever and Chow and he just lets her get away with it.  Maybe I should talk with Joey about this.  After all, he is 3x her size, and outweighs her by probably at least 50 lbs.  I'll let Edward.  After all, he is Joey's father.

Sometimes I don't understand

One of my close relatives sent me this picture.  The caption was-"Saw this and thought of you."  I don't always have to understand, do I?  And, I might not WANT to understand.  So, enough said.

I performed my first time for candlelight last night.  I had forgotten how "grueling" it can be.  It was warm, even before we were under the lights, and it only got hotter.  I think I know how a water falls feels with all that sweat running down my back.

Isabella Rosselini was the reader.  She was pretty when she was younger, but now she is beautiful; flawless skin.  I was directly behind her.  She did a fantastic job reading also.  Rick directed and even though he is a little slower than Dr John, I think it went well.

After I came home, I began working on the decorations again; wanted some water; went to the garage to get a bottle and dropped a soda can on my foot-lacerated and broke my big toe on my right foot.  I am so glad it didn't happen BEFORE I sang.  Went to my dr today; "keep open until going to bed; cover with antibiotic cream and gauze; keep elevated; taped to other toe" (not much to do with toes.)  I had a lot of pain today; took Aleve and most of it went away.  Since I sit during my job, if I can drive to work, carefully, and keep it elevated,  I "SHOULD" be okay.  My life is NEVER, EVER, boring.

WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY...

It  IS  going to happen.  It's just a matter of time.  Preparation needs to be done so I won't be caught in the "lurch" so to speak.  I'm counting on it being for Christmas this year; ASAP would be nice.

Arriving in Tallahassee late on Sunday, or early Monday, a hotel room is a necessity.  Taking the ticket to the office the next business day and receiving the check, we will go to Bank of America and establish an account.  First and foremost are the cashier checks - One to Metro and one to SI's church. (10% to both) The personalized checks are next - Immediate Family - C, T, E, J/B, SJ, B, (Mock), and me;  Isham; Additional Family is next - Meltons-W/N, N, C, BJ, R; M;  Jones- A, T;  Griffin-L, C/A, C.  Groups-Habitat for Humanity, Salvation Army, Pay It Forward, and Heart to Heart all have designated amounts. Close Friends - VH; KD; D/HS, M, A; Sayre; Wendy; (list will grow as needs arise)  Whew!  That is a lot of "thinking" this early. (Control Issues again)


I'm sitting beside the lit tree with dancing lights and a few ornaments. Memories are fun, especially of Tom and the boys. I have to smile. It seems faded or oblique at times; and yet, it is so "touchable" too.


Anticipation is revitalizing. I am content with my life at this point in time, for the most part. A few things are about to change - I can feel it. GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING and that is exciting. I like to stand back and watch how He works. It is amazing, yet so simple. Complex, and easy.

My little Wiener has joined me on the couch.  She misses me when I leave the bed.  She has to come find me.  Curled up in her "blankie", warm once more beside "her" provider just as I  like to do with my Provider.  She has been such a boost and example for me.  She is a walking example of how I should look to my Father - Total Trust.  She doesn't have a problem letting me know what she needs and she fully expects me to provide it.  Her look at me says she believes in me and, for the most part, she follows my directions with only an occasional lapse in judgement or distraction to the "bling" that is around her.  


With a gentle tug on her leash, I remind her to stay focused on what she is supposedly doing and her attention is directed once more to important things. Why does she get distracted?  Inquisitive? Exploring? or Just plain deluded?  Can't say for sure.  But she has learned it's best to be beside me and she gets a lot more rewards doing what is on the agenda than what looks more interesting at the time.  (She is barely visible in this picture)


It's a good thing God has more patience with me than I do with her.

WHY?

Someone recently asked me why I write my on-line blog and lay my life out for all to read. In retrospect, I think it's because my life is an open book and so many friends want to know what is happening with me in "O-town."

Today I had lunch with two of my sons, Julie and the girls. It was "someone's" birthday celebration. The Cheesecake Factory was the restaurant de jour. We were supposed to meet at 11:30, I misunderstood and thought 12:30, so we finally ended up there around one o'clock. I'm not usually late for any type of "get together" but I really missed it today. We ate, we celebrated, and we ended up with a piece of "Red Velvet Cheesecake." It was EXTREMELY, over the top sweet, but I drank cappuccino with mine and it wasn't too bad. I could not have eaten a whole piece by myself, but the 5 of us got rid of it easily.

This is a pic of the cake, with a candle.  The group that sang did a nice job and "he" blew out the candle. We're going to see the new 3-D movie tomorrow night. That will be fun too. It's always great with family no matter how many of us get together.

Kinz, who will be 15 soon, scared me when she said she is getting her learner's permit. I hope she is talking about an educational experience and is not talking about her "driving permit." That is really scary. She is not allowed to date until she is at least 27. Her dad is already "accumulating trophies" that he is going to use to make sure the "prospective" date thinks he is an award winning marksman. I said cleaning the shotgun when the date arrives would probably be enough warning. The trophies are a "little over the top," to say the least.

Did you know that the State of FL now allows people to go "on-line" and take the driving test. Part of the over-all experience is being scared to death, shaking, and almost throwing up at the Driver's Department. How can they get a "fully total" experience if they do it on line. It's just NOT RIGHT!!! (my humble opinion) I don't know why they didn't ask me.