A GREAT RELEVATION

Being a human, female, and of a "certain" personality type, sometimes it takes a while for me to "get it." And when I do finally understand something, I think of the statement Charles made when he was about 3 or 4 years old, "I have just had a great relevation."

I have a friend that tells me that I just love men. That is VERY true. I honestly DO love men. I don't know where I got it. It certainly wasn't from my mother. I don't think she liked men at all, from some of her statements. But- I think they are wonderful; better than "sliced bread" most of the time. But I have only "BEEN IN LOVE, with 2 men.

My big "epiphany" is that God Loves Me Because I'm Me! Now to some people, that may not be much of a "NEWS FLASH." But I have been pondering "WHY" , as I often do, about the reason I am with THIS man that I am married to now, and other various things, (but - one thing at a time).

As I have said many times, Bob is so different from my first husband. He is "volatile" at times; uncooperative; stubborn; unaware of my feelings; indifferent; rude; crude, and I could go on, but I think you get the picture. My question, as a matter of fact, just yesterday to my friend Barb was, "I don't know why I am with this man, but for some reason God won't let me let go of him. Today God gave me my answer - Bob is me, before God. And God loved me anyway. Wow! That blew me away.

Bob told me once the reason he fell in love with me and asked me to marry him was that I was different. I "think" he meant it in a nice way, at the time, but IF I am, it is only because of God's great love for me. Oh, I still have my moments and I don't always do everything I am supposed to do-the right way-but I DO know God loves me; He always wants the best for me, and HE IS DEFINITELY STILL IN CONTROL!!!

Procedures

Valentine's day has come and gone. It was nice. I got to leave work early; ate dinner with my husband; went to bed early and had the next day off. All in all-a good time. My present was on the dining room table when I got up in the morning. My husband had bought me a framed drawing of Mickey and Minnie, in a "Wedding Day" picture drawn inside an "outlined" heart shape around them. I had seen the picture some time ago and made the comment I really liked it. When he had time to get it, I can't say for he has been working 12-15 hr days for several weeks. I don't know how he does it. I am usually worn out by the end of my 10 hr days, and yet he continues to work this hectic schedule.

He did manage to take off at 12:30 on Tuesday to have his "procedure." I am familiar with many "Medical Procedures," due to my "plethora" of surgeries, but this was one that I had not been "exposed" to in my vast experiences. Bob's TSA counts were elevated, so he had to have an "ultra" sound and biopsy of the prostate gland, which according to him, was, "an unnatural, humiliating, violation of his personal body." (We won't have the results until next Tuesday.)

If you have had the pleasure of meeting Bob, you would know that he tends to "over exaggerate" some times, but according to what I've been told, his discription was pretty much on the mark. There was no anesthesia, no pain-numbing drug nor even a mere "bullet to bite on." So he is still fairly sore, but getting up every morning at 2:30 to be at work at 4. He promises that this will end once the new water park is up and running. I don't know. Seems like he's been saying this for the total time I've known him.

Valentine's Day is Upon Us

Yes. Bob is STILL bringing me flowers about every other week. Yes. He is still bringing me presents home (mostly rats). And, yes. We are still married. (It's been almost a year) So, what is he doing for Valentine's Day. I haven't the foggiest idea. We are both working on that day, so who knows what he will come up with, but I'm sure it will be something this next week.

We have faced a few crises in this year-Meeting my family; getting married; changing parks for my work; Carson dying; Marshall dying; Bob's surgery and my illnesses. We have just been presented with another challenge. Bob's recent bloodwork came back with some of the figures elevated. It seems that he needs to have a biopsy done and he's not real thrilled about it. I have had many surgeries and I have been "waiting" for close relatives that are having surgery. For me, in my opinion, it's much harder on the people who wait. I never know what is going on while I am in surgery. It's the same way when someone else is having surgery-I still don't know what is going on, but I'm awake. And, because you care so much for the person, waiting is hard. Not knowing is hard.

All Bob's relatives have died of cancer, so he automatically jumps to the conclusion that he is going to die that way too. I have assured him that he's not getting out of this marriage that easily.

But, whatever happens-we're going to make the most of the time we have together. And, that is always a positive.