PERSPECTIVE

As the saying goes, "Perspective Is Everything."  That is usually the case, especially for me today. For years, I have wanted to see Trans Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Program. THIS WAS MY YEAR TO GO.

I bought two tickets as soon as they went on sale. I have been so excited. It was to be MY present this year. It was like "waiting for Santa."  Yesterday, I had even picked out what I was going to wear. It was all laid out. The tension was building and I hardly slept last night. When I did sleep, I dreamed about the performance. SHOULD I TAKE EAR PLUGS OR NOT? (I had heard it was extremely loud) and then I woke up.

Why my head decided to be dizzy today, I don't know. Or, was it my stomach deciding to be nauseated?  I don't drink, but I was staggering to walk. My son got a pail, just in case I needed it.

I took my medication.  (I have inner ear problems so vertigo occasionally is not unusual.) My son was to go shopping.  He kept asking if he should stay home. There was really no reason for him to stay so I told him to go ahead. It would surely go away. He text while he was gone asking if I was okay. I assured him I was. I took some additional medication.

He got home around 1:00. There was still very little relief. I even ate some scrambled eggs thinking that might help. (I was happy they stayed down. It was "iffy" for a while.) We were to leave about 2:00, as the performance was at 3:00. There was little change. I still had trouble walking down the hallway. It was time to make a decision.

I was devastated. I had been so wrapped up in that performance that I had hardly thought about. anything else for weeks. And, now I couldn't even stand long enough to take a shower.  I didn't even feel like taking one. "The Girls" came home Friday. They were part of "THE SHOPPING GROUP." I told my son to ask them if they wanted to go. They did. At least the tickets were not wasted.

So... What did I learn from this experience?  God reminded me of how blessed I am - every single day of my life. I have a beautiful, warm home. Our refrigerator is full of food. My car has gas and is in fairly good condition. And, I have friends and family that love me ANYWAY. As Rich used to say, "IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS" this just isn't that important. (There is still a small part of me that wants to have a SMALL pity party. But, thank The Lord, it doesn't last very long any more.)

BEING THANKFUL

My sister, whom I lovingly call the Blog Gestapo, has once again REMINDED me that it has been a VERRRRY long time since I've posted any information in this area.  It's not that I don't want to blog, and it's not that nothing is happening. It's partially laziness, and partially due to the fact that I use Facebook too much.

Let's see, where to start -- I just spent an awesome day with The Brandons, Julie, Bret and Jamie, and  of course my precious son, and other friends, old and new.  I can't count how many years we've been welcomed into their home for Thanksgiving. They are a gracious, loving family that have enough food to feed a third world country, enough space to sit comfortably 100 people, and more than enough hospitality to make everyone feel at home. I'm thankful just to know them.

I'm thankful for better health this year. Other than some pain in my back, I've been able to spend most days "out of bed," which in itself is a miracle. Every day I'm feeling better physically. I've lost 42 lbs, found some old clothes I can wear again, and able to buy a couple sweaters 4 sizes smaller than I used to wear.  WAHOO!

I went to my Cardiologist Tuesday. He wants to run a couple tests (EKG and Stress Test) partially because I haven't had them for over a year, I've had a few a few pains in my chest, and there were a few "blips" on my last pacer check. Until those tests are done they won't let me do Cardiac Rehab exercises.  The tests can't be done until Dec 19, so I'm "temporarily" NOT systematically exercising, but I'm trying to do more "movement" exercising by walking.

We're having our family dinner today.  Julie is cooking and bringing the food here.  She is an awesome cook, so I know it will be every bit as good as yesterday. Afterward we are going to STUDIOS to see the Osborn lights. They are awesome. Jamie has never see them and they are spectacular, so that will be a wonderful outward ending to an inward grateful heart.

I was thinking night before last, as I went to sleep, how blessed I am. God has been so merciful to me that I can't even "BEGIN" to express my thankfulness. I have asked Him to let me bless others to the extent to which He has blessed me. I don't know what He has in mind, but I'm excited to find out.   As I sit here in my warm house, in my warm clothes, with my "baby" on my lap, I am a "Happy Camper" with gratitude in my heart.  God is good, all the time.

Another Ordinary Day

Mary says I can't go ten minute without motioning Wiener.  She's usually right.  It's only true because Ween is my constant companion. She sleeps with me and eats when I do. She even offers "sympathy licks" when I don't feel well.  She's cute, understanding and ready to "GO" no matter when or where.  She is also part of my limited scenarios - home, drs, yard. And yes, I do spoil her.  She's sleeping right now; afternoon nap.

I'm home today. No drs. No shopping. No errands. I'm thankful for these days at home. I get to read or listen to someone read, watch silly programs on TV, or just relax with Ween; Just ordinary stuff.

I am back in Cardiac Rehab.  It's a great program. They not only monitor your vitals while you're there, but they also check your progress, evaluate what is needed, and increase time or speed when needed. I didn't seem to have a problem but we'll see when I go back tomorrow.

My life isn't what I would have planned.  I'm not sure where I'm headed at this point, but I do know that God isn't through with me yet.  He still has plans for me.

Nausea v dizziness

Dealing with slight nausea and vertigo due, I think, to an added medication. If this is true, I'll have to stop this med too.  Not only is it aggravating to feel this way, but it is REALLY something I try to avoid at all cost.  If Tom were here, he would say something like, "Well, that sounds like you're fairly normal."  (He was the "King" of understated witticisms.)

On Tuesday I start back to "Cardiac Rehab" which will help to rebuild my muscles and increase my energy level. It's a great program and even w/o a Rx, I can continue to visit and use the facilities. It is located in the Heart Center building, across the street from ORMC. They have RNs, therapists and monitors to keep track of how you respond to the program. I'm excited to return.

Dreams have intrigued me since I was very young. There have been so many: some of which I remember in detail; some fleeting scenarios that flash before me; And, a few have even served as "premonitions" to Real Life experiences. I've been having some similar "flashes" lately. I'm not sure what they are but they are certainly "Interesting, if not enjoyable."  Can't wait to find out!

Ween is doing well since her dental surgery. Even though she seems okay, her sleep patterns must be disturbed as she whines and cries at times. She has even awaken me during the night. I'm sure she will be okay.

Mary has made me some blueberry, gluten free, delicious, pancakes.  She freezes them and I can have them "whenever" I want them. She is so awesome. I don't know what I would have done w/o her. She is truly a "God sent" blessing.

"Bless The Lord, Oh my soul, and all that is within me bless His Holy Name."

WHAT IS NORMAL?

I have an appointment with my cardiac PA on Thursday.  If she releases me, I am returning to cardiac rehab.  There is an excellent program at the HEART CENTER and they have personnel that watches your blood pressure, weight, etc while you are there exercising.  I really like their program and can't wait to start building my strength again.  I feel this is so much more beneficial than just plain PT and the concern you receive from the personnel is truly awesome. They have called checking on me the whole time I have been away.  It will be like going home or to "CHEERS"  where everybody knows your name.

I am also excited to find out what The Lord has in store for me.  I don't think my work here is done yet, but where and when and what I'll be doing, I don't know.  It will be interesting to find out. God is Still in control, and I'm so glad that I don't have to be.

My friend, Vicki, has been started on a new medication.  Hopefully, this will be the answer to getting rid of the nodules that are in the lungs.  Please pray for her healing.  She Is such an awesome example of God's love and purpose.  She has been through so much this year, with a positive outlook.  I hope to go see her in about 2 weeks as their H2H group is meeting on the 20th and she asked me to come over for their meeting. My prayer is for God to bless her way beyond belief, and with the power of The Holy Spirit this is truly possible.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

Just minding my own business, and I am blindsided by how someone has misinterpreted some things I have done and said. It's funny - someone I considered one of my closest, if not THE closest person I have know for years, sent me a personal message on Facebook saying she doesn't want to have anything to do with me in that I have humiliated her for the last time; I ignored her at MY birthday party; I embarrassed her in front of other people; put her in a compromising position for the last time, and do nothing but make fun of her. I just don't understand.

My response was "I don't know where this is coming from. I don't understand, but if I did all that it was done out of ignorance and stupidity.  PLEASE FORGIVE ME."  And, I did ask when she thought she could, would she please call and let us talk about this.

To me, this sounds like YEARS of being upset.  I don't understand why she didn't say something about this before now.

This comes on top of another strained relationship with some close family members.  I don't know. Could it be related to the fact that I am trying to get closer to The Lord within my own personal relationship?

It would be so easy to blame the devil and I know he works overtime to get us upset, but I'm not upset, just confused.

If you're reading this and are a PRAYING PERSON,  please pray I will be guided with The Holy Spirit's arms of love.  I'm so tired of chaos and fighting. GOD BLESS.

Wow

I knew it had been a while since I blogged,but didn't realize HOW long. So much has happened.
Tom came early for my birthday; I Turned 70; had an Airboat ride; friend Barb came for birthday; party; had surgery at MAYO; re-entered another hospital here due to complications; Ween had dental surgery (pulled 24 infected teeth); Charles has had several episodes with his kidney stones; Charles had "college" trips with the girls in Malibu and Arizona; I'm  still on oxygen but healing slowly.

Whew!  I'm tired just reading about it.  But, God is good and has blessed us even in the midst of chaos.

So many people have helped to make these transitions possible-Mary, Julie, Bret, Kinzie, Kayla, Noni, Mock, Ruth,  not to mention all the prayers that have been sent up on our behalf. I'm beyond grateful.

In the midst of all this, Vicki's father Bill died and she was dealing with this in addition to her own physical condition.  I felt as if I had very little energy and couldn't help her like I would liked to have done. She, of course, was very gracious and understanding, and got through the main service and all that entails.

So, how am I to continue and what is next for me?  I really don't know.  I firmly believe if I could redo this surgery, knowing what I know now, I probably would not have had it done. You know what they say about hindsight, so who knows.

I thank God for His blessings and mercy, grace and forgiveness. He is so good to me.  I praise His name and am praying for a deeper relationship with Him.

My Birthday

Today we celebrated my birthday.  It was AWESOME.  Charles took me and a few friends on an airboat ride.  (It was on my bucket list.)  After the ride we came back home and opened presents, had food and rested.  A few friends came over in the evening and we ate again. It was marvelous. I could not have had a better day. The only sad thing was Ween went home with Mock to stay until after I come home from JAX.

Saying that I ATE wasn't exactly true. I'm on a liquid "OPTI-FAST" diet in preparation for my surgery on Tuesday.  It's not bad tasting.  It's like drinking a milkshake five times a day. I just get tired of the "sweety" taste so I ordered some OPTI-FAST soups, tomato and chicken from Amazon,  just to vary the taste.  Charles asked if I was supposed to do that. I said I didn't ask. But, we'll see. I'm hoping that it was okay. I learned a lonnnnnnnng time ago that it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.

I'm tired so this is short. God bless.

VICKI

Vicki has had a rough existence for some time. Diagnosed with cancer of the kidney seemed to start it all. She has had surgeries, treatments, medications and a "gadzillion" doctor appointments.  Once again, a biopsy has been done of two nodules in her thyroid gland, as if a new find of a blood clot in her lungs wasn't bad enough. 

She came to see me yesterday. We were supposed to have lunch and go to a movie.  We had a great lunch with lots of laughs.  When it came time to decide which movie to see, I just felt like I didn't want to see any of the many GOD MOVIES that are out now. I just wanted to spend time with her.  So we came back to my house. 

For a few moments yesterday, time seemed to stand still. We laughed. We talked.  We remembered. Thank you God for letting me know Vicki.

Day by Day

According to my official reminder person, it's been almost two months since I've posted any information.  It seems each day flows into a week with the weeks flying by as if there were wings on each day.

I've been in physical therapy for several weeks.  My therapist was pregnant but the silly baby wanted to get out so, I've had to change therapist.  The new one is not as "thorough" as my former one so therapy hasn't helped as much. We've used a machine called a TENS Unit which puts electronic pulses into the muscles and causes the muscles to relax and strengthen. My former therapist used the Tens machine on my back as a general routine, but due to my pacemaker my new therapist is "hesitant" to use it.  The pacer tech said it was okay and so did my heart specialists head nurse.  So, the PT place has required a "written" okay and a demo by the tens unit company to be comfortable with using it.  I understand why they want it in writing, but they have really had me hoping to get it all arranged.  Hopefully, this will all transpire next Monday.

I saw my bariatric Dr last week.  He wants all the information for the last year from all Drs,  hospital, and any sort of testing that has been done.  He and the other drs will evaluate the info and see what other testing needs to be done before we can set a date for my surgery.  I'm hoping enough has been done so that we can finally get this surgery over with.

I will need to stay in Jacksonville for a week to have daily checks from the dr.  After that I will be released to go home.  I'm looking forward to losing the weight.  It will have a VERY positive effect on my overall health.

My "baby girl" might have to have surgery on her foot.  She has had a growth on it for some time, but it just recently got bigger.  We go to see the dr next week.  I pray it will not be cancer and the surgery will take care of it.

That's pretty much what has been going on in my life. Each day has it's own activities and outcomes.  I'm grateful to God for all His blessings.  So is Ween.

PT

Four A.M. And I'm wide awake.  This sometimes happens, but thankfully not often. The ticking of the clock seems to match the beating of my heart. I guess it's pacemaker is working too.  Same idea I guess.  Both are to keep the movements running smoothly. (It's a good thing.)

The less than happy thing about waking up so early is that my mind does it's best "flitting" at this time of the morning,  I think of fifty things at once and concentrate on none.

When I got up to get some juice, SOMEONE moved over onto my pillow.  She likes to lay across my pillows, Cleopatra-style.  She would probably like it if I peeled her a grape.  Took her to the Vet today.  Seems all is well as far as Dr Garrels is concerned.  She did blood work, clipped her nails and did a "cursory" exam.  I'll get the results tomorrow.

The Braves game we went to was fun.  It had been a long time since I had been to one and the weather was perfect.  Friends weren't bad either.  Charles always finds fun things to do. (Picture insert above.)

I have scheduled Physical Therapy starting on Tuesday.  Dr Macintosh from Mayo wrote a Rx for me to go.  He suggested this in lieu of surgery.  Hopefully this will strengthen my back muscles.  I'm looking forward to it.  I had a perfunctory eval on Monday.  I was sore in places I didn't even remember having, but it's supposed to help.  If think "Steel Magnolias" said it best, "What does not succeed in killing you makes you stronger."  That's about it.  I asked the therapist if i could hate her for a little while.  She just laughed.  She didn't know I was serious.

God is still good.

Craziest Week

Sometimes weeks are boring; sometimes wild.  This was a busy week.  Monday is typically a "down" day.  I rest, wash clothes or anything easy that can be done. This one was normal.  Ween and I slept in,  washed some clothes, and ate a little.  From then on the week speeds up.

Tuesday was dr, therapy, and errands.  Julie has been taking me to therapy, as I've had some problems with my vision.  She keeps my car and it makes it easier for me.  It also motivates me to go when I don't feel like it.  I also had my allergy shots switched to Tuesday so she could take me there too.

Wednesday was Jacksonville for Mayo. Julie took me. I had a re-eval for my back and for bariatric surgery.  For my back, the dr gave me a Rx for physical happy.  That means I must "suspend" my cardiac rehab for now.  I go for an eval on Monday for the therapy.  The bariatric counselor. Jillian, checks my food list, makes adjustments, and recommends changes, if any.  I have to see Dr Lynch, bariatric dr next time.  He will determine when I can have the surgery.

Thursday, I was back at rehab, and then to PTINR check.  It was too high so she adjust the dosage.  I go back on Thursday to see if that helped.  Julie dropped me off to get Charles' car because I had to pick him up at 4:00.  After picking him up, I drove to Tampa, Bahama Breeze for dinner and on to TRISHA YEARWOOD  concert at Ruth Eckerd Hall. I had a great time with Charles.

It had been some time since I had been there. They have "toned down" the looks of Ruth Eckerd Hall.  It used to be a place to "dress up" and see a concert in an atmosphere of elegance.  It was just another theatre, sticky floor with food served inside the auditorium.  I was very disappointed in what it has become.  I felt a little over-dressed, even for a country music concert.

Friday was a resting day.  I was very tired and didn't do much except sleep and rest. Saturday I returned some shoes to Macys; wrong size.  And then today, another rest day.  Nothing special for Monday .  Here we go again: another week.  God is good.  We are blessed.

YES

It has been a long time.

I haven't posted.

I've been busy.

Well, actually, I do practically the same things each day. I get up.  (novel approach)  I take meds.  I either study my Bible, or watch Joyce Meyer.  Or, both. 

Ween barks.  I get her up.  She goes potty.    I shall not go on.  It's too boring, even to me.

I DID vary my activities today.  I went to the allergist to get my shots.  That is my MONDAY routine, if at all possible.

C is traveling right now, so my routine is even slower.  I miss him when he's gone.  I am trying to do therapy twice a week, but my eyesight is not good some days, so I let Julie keep my car while he is gone and she has been taking me.  I appreciate her doing that and tying up her day for me. 

Bret is still not doing well, physically.  He can't seem to shake this bronchial infection.  He was in the hospital, but they sent him home and the meds are not as strong so he's not getting over it as quickly as I think he should.  We are having bouts of the flu in some areas here.  I just hope he can get this infection under control soon.

I had a colonoscopy, last Wednesday.  C took me.  I am supposed to go to Mayo this Wednesday.  Mock is supposed to take me, but he's been sick.  We'll see how that goes.

I am going to Mayo for a re-eval on my back.  I got shots the last time I was there but not from Dr Osborne, and they didn't last but a few days.  I am also going for a update for the bariatric surgery.  I understand Medicare is now paying for it at Jacksonville location, so we'll see how it goes.

It is a little "chilly" here, but nothing like other parts of the US.  I have had to put on my warm-up suits, thanks to Barb, but it usually warms during the day.

That's about it.  Nothing new.  All is well.  Thank God for that.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday dear Tom.  I miss you everyday.  If you were here, I know about how we could maybe celebrate.  Probably go to the Mall or Orlando (we would probably still live in New Port. Richey), or meet friends for lunch or dinner.  I'd have some sort of  ridiculous high priced present that you wanted.  OR, you would be getting ready for the music convention that you liked to attend each January.  I would probably meet you wherever it was being held, listen to some fabulous music renditions, meet some friend afterward to celebrate your birthday, and go back to our hotel room for the night.  We would get up, go to breakfast, and then head home.

I miss the wonderful concerts we used to attend.  I miss your smile, your beautiful blue eyes and the silly things you used to laugh at.  But most of all, I just miss you.

So many things have changed.  You would laugh your head off at some of the dumb things I've done. I'm sure you know all of them.  And, you would be so proud of our sons.  Charles is such a neat person who takes good care of me.  Tom has come a long way from where he was.  I've made many new friends.

I've been blessed with knowing Mary McCormick, who cleans and cooks for me.  Bret and Julie and the girls, you'd love them, too.  And, the list goes on ...

I'm grateful for your watch care.  As you know, I need a lot of help.   So much for now. See you soon,

s

It's Here.

My first day of 2014 was relatively uneventful.  That's really okay with me. Charles is home, getting some  much needed rest. I think he's going to EPCOT tomorrow to let in some friends of ours, but that shouldn't take too long.  

He's invited some friends for lunch on Friday so Mary is coming to " spruce up the place." (Her words not mine.) She's so good to me. I am truly blessed to have her as a friend.

Ween is sound asleep, whining, and  snorting, and trying to outrun something. She makes strange noises in her sleep.  I pat her, calm her and she settles down. Last night she was really upset when they started shooting off the fireworks. (I don't understand Florida law - it's okay to buy fireworks,  but against the law to shoot them off.) She was scared, so she paced and had a hard time getting settled. I finally ended up giving her some calming treats. They helped, and she finally went to sleep.

Okay.  As I start this year, I hope and pray my health will be better.  I am also praying God's will for my life.  I'm sure it will be an interesting time, and as we follow God's leading, we will just hang on to see the miracles He is doing.