PaPa John's or Dominoes?

Being on hold  for about 20 minutes, aggravates me.  It seems like every time I place an on-line pizza order, it has something wrong and it takes an act of Congress to get it straightened out.  I finally had to call an 877 number and talk with a "trouble shooter" for Papa John's.  He was very polite and even offered to send me extra garlic sauce for my inconvenience.  The next great adventure is to see if it REALLY comes like I ordered it.

Ween has slept through the ordeal.  She raised her head once, gave me a dirty look, and decided it wasn't worth her effort.  I told you she is smart. Her motto - "Never get excited unless it involves food and I can smell it."

Mock went to get some sodas since Papa John's has Pepsi not Coke.  It is heresy to even mention anything but Coke.  Some people are so picky.

Another rest day today.  I have my blood checked tomorrow.  Mock is taking me.  After all that excitement,  we get to go to his doctor.  I tell you, if it wasn't for trips to the doctor or a hospital, I'd have no social life.  I wonder if I can somehow spin all the visiting into a paying job?  Hummmmm.

Day Off

Most people have Memorial Day off from work.  I wonder if they know why? When I was in the "wonderful world of education", the kids only knew they didn't have to go to school.  After trying to explain why this date was important, I usually got the response "Whatever."

IF I were teaching again, I would change some things.  I would teach phonics and spelling to every class; celebrate EVERY possible holiday; make each student feel more important; try to make them smile; and, enjoy each day.  

I have a lot of things I would do differently, if I could have a "redo" in my personal life.  I know I'd be a better wife and tell my husband how wonderful he was every single day.  Feeling I was too hard on my children, I would try to "back off" from all the rules and regulations and enjoy them more.  I'd try to ignore unimportant things and emphasize the good times even more. I'd try to be more aware of people's feelings and emotions.  I'd try to be nice to everyone.

I have heard some people say they have no regrets about their life.  I wish I could say that, but I try not to focus on the things I did wrong.  I have so many "right" people and things in my life.  "Someone" went to some one's house for lunch today and brought back a  "humongous" amount of food.  I've only been able to eat the rice and beans so far, but the chicken, potato salad and the watermelon all look good too.  He even brought me some Tylenol as I can't take aspirin any more.  See.  I know that I am blessed, and I never have doubted that for one moment.

Home at Last, Again

After three and a half days in an extremely nice hospital, I was "sprung" from the joint.  They finally did the endoscopy this morning and found 2 ulcers in my stomach - one on the side and one in the bottom.  That will take care of the bleeding and I'm back on coumadin as of this evening, only at a lower dose. Dr Martin thinks I should still be on it because of the thickness of my blood. (If I had know I would have needed this body this long, I would have taken better care of it.)

Ween is so "thrilled" to have me home.  She has done her happy dance, licked me all over, and is now resting from the exhaustion.  That is the most exercise she has had in many days.  She has assumed her position at the end of the couch, just two feet from me.  She doesn't want me to do anything without her, especially eating.

I must rest now.  Long day for me; up at 4:30 - blood work, and it only went downhill from there.  I can hardly wait to see what she is fixing for dinner.

STALLED

No news is supposed to be good news; Not necessarily true. I am still in the hospital, still not able to do procedure. Dr said he has no problem doing it on Sat. 


The number has come down, but not enough yet. So, I'm "Resting" again today. 


I really miss Ween. I'm sure she misses me too. Hopefully I will able to go home tomorrow, if they do the procedure early. In the meantime, I'm connecting the bruises as a pastime.

Here We Go Again

I hate to be repitious but, I'm back in the hospital. I have one of those lifetimes, it seems, that lately has gone from one direction to rapidly changing to another. It seems fairly simple to go to the doctor to have your blood checked, and yet lands you in the hospital. 


I'm beginning to believe that I am missing the message. I don't know what is, but I'd love to know. I have promised God that I am totally clueless as to what He wants me to do. He already knows that but I'm willing to do Whatever I'm supposed to do, just let me know what it could be. 


Yep. Here I am. This time is something a little different. I'm having some internal bleeding and my doctor doesn't want to take any chances while I'm taking the Coumadin. He also put me back on the "heart" menu here. It really isn't bad, but not what I wanted. Oh ok. Whatever. I'm hoping I won't be here long. 


Poor Ween. She's so confused as to what I'm doing. Home a few days, gone a few days. She's not the only one confused. Already told me they are doing an endoscopy. Dr Martin just in and not doing the testing until Friday. My blood count has dropped and he wants my blood "numbers" to stabilize. 


I apologize for this typing as I am using the iPad and I'm not so familiar with this keyboard. I will continue to blog about the everyday rantings and ramblings. This doesn't change the type either so, enjoy.

Italy

Seeing old friends is great until I see their children have grown "like weeds," as my mother would have said.  The oldest child, Samantha, is now going into 8th grade.  She's taller than her mother.  Michael, the middle child, is still Michael, and Giada is in charge of everyone.  (She resembles her mother in a lot of ways.)

Aunt Jenny was with them and I met two new members of her family - Matt, Trisha's brother and Steve, Matt's partner.  Lovely people and enjoyed the evening.

The food was not as tasty as I expected.  This is a new Italian addition where they had made reservations.  The calamari was rubbery; the veal overdone; the stuffed mushrooms dried out; but the spaghetti and potatoes were good. I must have found something to eat as I was too full to order a delicious looking dessert.  Today they are eating at Morocco, one of my favorite places to eat.  MMmmmmm.  I would love to join them for this one.

Today includes a check-up of my blood.  Mock has a CAT scan scheduled.  Full afternoon.  We'll probably stop at the store to use my gift card.  It's a good thing I have generous friends and relatives.  They know me so well, and that is usually a good thing.

Another day; Same couch

Having only a cell phone and no land line, I seldom have weird calls of advertising or wanting to give me something.  I had a call earlier that wanted to give me $7,000 from the "government of the United States."  I was interested.  The voice was male with an East Indian accent.  Bottom line is IF I go to a Western Union and send them 250.00 then they will release the $7,000 to my account.  Hmmmmm.  A, I don't think so.  I just told him I couldn't drive to go to the Western Union office.  And, that is true.  I DIDN'T tell him I didn't have 250.00 to give him.  I probably should have told him.  I wonder what he would have said if I had said that.  Oh well.

It's another day of holding down the couch for Ween and me.  Actually she is laying in front of the sliding glass door soaking up some sun.  That is as close as she wants to be to the outdoors, unless of course the squirrel comes by or the duck visits.  That is a totally different story.

I'm resting again today.  We do have a dinner resv with friends from NY.  It's at Italy in EPCOT, and as long as I feel okay I will probably go.  They are a neat couple with 3 lovely children.  We try to see them when in NY and visa versa for them here.  We'll see how that goes.

Somehow I have misplaced my recording sheet for my daily vitals.  I'm hoping that Rose has picked it up in her stuff.  If not, the machine retains the information and I'll have to start another one.  I'll make Ween write it down. She's okay as long as it doesn't require a thumb.  Then her writing gets a little sloppy.  I'll just have to deal with it.  Life is so hard.

AH, FRIENDS

Probably the two people on this earth who have known me the longest are Mary and Byron.  Tom and Byron were friends for some time when I was admitted to the group.

It was college; Tom and I started dating; he introduced me to his friend, and then I met his friend's wife.  Any complimentary word you can think of, pertains to Mary.  Talented, sweet, knowledgeable, etc.  I could go on and on. Her personality was the opposite of mine - she was quiet, unassuming, only talked to answer questions, a lot like Tom.  Byron on the other hand was outgoing, bubbly, always ready to talk about anything. We seemed to fit together - Tom and Mary - quiet; Byron and me - not so much. 

This weekend "the relative I can't mention" said he wanted to go to Tallahassee to see some friends.  Mary and Byron live close to his friends so I asked if I could tag along.  The last time I was at their home, same location, was about a year ago.  It was pitch black dark and I had a hard time finding it as my Garmin didn't work well in that area.  

Mock tried our GPS on our phone to see where I was and it indicated I was in the middle of the woods with only dirt roads around.  He asked if I was camping out.  [Anyone who knows me knows that I would only camp out at the Grand Floridian at Disney.  Mock thought he was being funny. (HA)]

Dropped off with Mary and Byron and yes, Lucky their golden.  It is always so great to see them.  They know me and still love me; Now that is a friend.  We talked and talked.  Memories.  Byron cooked the most delicious dinner.  I have always loved his cooking.  Mary is no slouch at cooking but Byron puts such "flair" in his presentations and he explains how each  item is prepared; there's always a Byron twist on each item.  Baked chicken, field peas, baked potatoes, candied carrots, salad, AND a dessert to die for - angel food cake, pudding, whipped cream and strawberries.  I think it is called a trifle, but it was a type of parfait in layers and WOW, so good.  And the cappuccino, oh my goodness were they delicious too.

They have been on Weight Watchers for some time and lost a "ton of weight." Mary is probably the smallest she has ever been, or at least since I've known her.  They both look good and if they eat like they fed me, it's all good.  I also had breakfast with my son's friends.  It has been a long time since I've seen them.  And, then we had to come home.

I can hardly move today.  It seems when I try to do activities for a whole day, it wears me out for the next day or two.  So, Ween and I are holding down the couch and bed today.  She is playing "Saran Wrap" and if I move she jumps up to go with me.  Ever have anyone watch you go to the bathroom?  

Love/Hate Relationship

Wiener is a wonderful companion, most of the time.  She snuggles, keeps the house safe from the lawn mowers and weed whackers of the world, shows affection by licking almost everywhere on your body, and sleeps as much as I do.

Every once in a while though, she just aggravates me to death.  She's pushy, impatient, begs for food, NEEDS attention, and sometimes leaves little "oopsies" on the carpet.  I had a queen-sized bed that didn't have enough room for her. She wants to sleep beside you, yet kicks with both feet when she wants more room. If she turns over and scoots off the bed or couch, she gives you a look of disgust and thinks you pushed her. If she doesn't like when I tell her no, she "SNORTS" at me and huffs off.  And, don't even get me started on her revenge mode.  Mock says I created her "Monster" behavior.  I tend to think she was born this way.

I need my beauty sleep

Talking with other Daschund families, the overall breed responds with similar behaviors.  According to most books I've read, they were bred to hunt badgers for farmers in Germany.  They would viciously retrieve the badgers from underground to rid the farms of the scavengers.  This explains their tunneling and able to sleep and breathe under the covers.

I'd just like to know what explains their attitude problems.  This is something that is quite evident in most of the ones I've seen.  Wiener goes after most any other dog, regardless of size.  Most of the time, this is okay.  But, I wouldn't ask her about a "ginormous" malamute she once encountered.  It was not pretty and you really don't want to encounter her disdain.  It would really help if you show up with treats.  She works well for food.

Today

Yesterday came and went.  Lunch with Ruth and Carol; Dr's appt. All my vital signs are being monitored and everything was going nicely.  About one am this morning, my heart decided to start "tap dancing."  All my medical people tell me to document, document, document.  I was in bed, watching TV, when it started.  Nothing exciting going on; could not tell why it started.


I finally fell asleep, exhausted, around 3.  (It makes me tired.)  I woke up around 6:30 - heart still "dancing."  (Gene Kelly would have been jealous.)  I DID document the incidences on my heart monitor.  I have been wearing it for several days.  This is the first time it has been documented by a monitor.  I spaced the recordings about 4 hrs apart.  


I got up and worked on the computer for about an hour; heart still dancing.  It doesn't usually hurt but extremely annoying and tiring.


The "other" vital-sign monitor went off at 9:00.  The heart beat was 93, and it is usually around 65 each am.  Otherwise, everything else was okay.  After transmitting the vital machine info, I called the heart monitor company and transmitted my heart activities. They saw the arrhythmia and was supposed to call the Dr's office.  It is 4:30 and I haven't heard from anyone.


By 11:00 I was worn out and went back to bed.  (Ween was right beside me all morning.) When I woke up around 3:30, my heart was beating regularly and I felt fine


This is the first time that the dancing has happened in a while.  It can't be determined why it starts or why it stops, or what is causing it.  Who knows - it could be most anything.  I pray that is all for now.  I want to go to Tallahassee to see Mary and Byron. Ween will not be happy being left at home.  Oh well.  Mock will have to deal with her, until I come back.

Red Lobster or Olive Garden

A thin little blond-headed girl, about five years old, walked up to me, stretched out her hand, and said, "Hi.  I'm Lynn Uxxxxxx, and I am in your Kindergarten class."  Little did I know on that day in 1980 that this little girl's mother and I would become the best of friends.


Ruth is a tremendous person with much knowledge and talent.  She has a music degree, was the main programmer for Pasco County Library System, and has battled cancer. She's one of the smartest and bravest people I know. 


I knew her Mom and Dad.  Sweet people.  Her mother, also named Ruth, was blind and lived with Ruth and Jim the last few years of her life.  Jim and Tom were colleagues as they both were in the music departments of the school systems. Our lives intertwined in so many ways over those last few years.  We have marvelous memories.  As we recalled some today, we had to laugh out loud.


Lunch today was at the Red Lobster in DTD.  Ruth and Carol, a childhood friend of Ruth's, came here to meet me for lunch. As I am in a "stay put" mode, they graciously offered to drive over here and even brought me home after we ate. Once again, I am so blessed with marvelous friends.


"Does it hurt to have sex?"  Ruth's 2nd grade granddaughter asked her mother.  Ruth said Lynn almost ran off the road when Alex asked her that.  It brought back a "similar" embarassing moment with Lynn. 


Ruth was pregnant with her second child when I met her. Sarah was born during Lynn's year in Kindergarten.  Ruth and Jim, being fairly progressive parents allowed Lynn to be present during the birth.  Of course, Lynn had a new experience for "SHOW AND TELL" the next day. She could have taught the class on the delivery.  Her terms were correct and the vivid verbal account of the birth was so detailed that I felt I had to let the other parents know about the new bit of knowledge we learned in Kindergarten that day.  See Lynn.  Paybacks.  I loved it.

I Remember

The week before Tom died he got to see both of his sons-Tommy on Thursday and Charles on Sat.  Both were seemingly accidental.  I believe it was one of those "God Things."

Tommy's vacuum broke and he needed to borrow ours.

("BORROW" is an interesting word, especially in my family.  Yes, the normal definition of borrow is "to obtain or receive something with the understanding of returning the item." The definition is not so literal in my family.  Borrow seems to mean "get the item and conveniently forget to return it."  And, it's okay because it's family.)  Tom took Tommy our vacuum when Tom went to a county band practice in St Pete Thursday night.  I think they even ate dinner together.

The week-end before was my mother's birthday.  Our schedules were so crazy that we planned to celebrate on April 7 at the Don Caesar Resort in St Pete. Tommy had made reservations.

Charles had a prior commitment for Sunday, so he came over on Sat and took us to lunch.  Tom got to spend time with him that day.

Tom was so proud of his sons.  They both are sons that most parents could only dream of having.  They're intelligent, talented, leaders in their field of choice, and they are good to their mother.

As we approach this year's Mother's Day, I thank God for my sons, and yes for the additionally acquired three men that have come to mean so much to me. Lucky?  Not at all.  TRULY BLESSED.

Not Exactly

Starting at 8:30, Julie showed up to take me to my first meeting with my allergist.  I didn't get to see my regular doctor, but the other doctor diagnosed a sinus infection and gave me 3 Rx; on to my next stop.  Chamberlins Health Food store for doggy food for Wiener; Post Office to mail a thank you card. Time for brunch at Mimis.  Quiche and toast, yum.

Off again to Publix to get a few groceries and drop off Rxs.  Their antibiotics are free. Of the other two, the eye drops were $120.00.  You can almost get new glasses for that.  He also prescribed Predinsone (That would be 3 months on the drug.  I WON'T DO IT!)  I can't lose weight using that drug so I'm not using it.  Hopefully the antibiotic will suffice.

Took groceries home and got to rest 45 minutes before we were off again to my next appointment.  On to Downtown Orlando to get a heart monitor.  Had to wait about 45 minutes just to get the unit.  I've been there before so not much instruction needed.

Stopped at Sand Lake Hospital to pick up meds from there; next to Public to pick up meds; also stopped at the Planet Smoothie to get an energy boost. Had one more stop but I was too wiped to do it.  Called Charles and asked if he would pick up 2 Rx from Target.  He said yes and Julie took me home.  It was now 4:30ish.

What a long exhausting day.  I came home and Ween and I went to bed. Slept until 8:30, got a sandwich, took meds, and went back to bed until around 5:30 this morning.

Two visiting nurses came today - one to check on my vitals and make sure I'm doing my procedures correctly.  Another nurse came and dropped ANOTHER machine to check vitals.  I'm not sure how many times I can take the tests, read the results, write down the results and transmit the results to someone in the "nanosphere."  I love technology.

As a result of yesterday, today I ache. Every fiber of my total physical being hurts. This is usually what happens when I push myself to go on and on.

I believe I am whole.  God is still in control.

UPDATE?

And, coming to you straight from "my little corner of the couch," all is well with my soul.  My physical body is being made whole, slowly but surely.

My sugar level is normal.  My blood "Number" is 2.3, last we checked.  (2 was our goal) And, my blood pressure was 120/84.  The number they were wanting was for an infection level, I think.  They explained it all but after a while and many "glowing" lectures of what I should be or shouldn't be, should do or shouldn't do, they all sound like Charlie Brown's teacher to me. (Whaa, Whaa, Whaa, etc.)

Getting ready for my two appointments today.  Julie got the short straw and will be here soon.

Ween is coming to join me while I am "holding down the couch," and work on my blog.  Typing is not her forte, but she's great with moral support.  As I was typing, before I was "so rudely" interrupted, I'm seeing my allergist, and after that running errands, having lunch and then going to get a heart monitor that I am to wear for 2 weeks.  (Maaannn.  What they won't think of to torture me.)

Shower, clean clothes, and smelling better - all good goals for the day.

Mother's Day Again?

In just a few days "we" will be celebrating another annual Mother's Day Sunday.  As I have aged, and wisely so, I have come to believe specific days are nice, but doesn't it depend on how you treat someone all year long?


With having 2 naturally born sons, I have also "acquired" three additional "guys" who were not born of me but I was chosen as a Mother figure to them.


Bret and Julie are unbelievable.  Their "girls" are so precious.  I feel fortunate to have them in my life.  They are talented and make extremely wise decisions.  Bret is level headed, knowledgeable and capable.  Julie can do anything and usually does, all at the same time.  Kinzie has grown into a talented, capable young lady who knows who she is and uses her own mind to make decisions.  Kayla is, and will always be, the princess.  She's artistic, musical, "swirley" and so full of life.  She is a "PINK" princess who expects everyone to love her. (And they do.)


Edward came into my life by virtue of being a roommate of Tom's.  I have missed seeing him so much.  He has such talent and generosity that it is hard not to love him.  He is developing his artistic abilities and wants to go back to school to gain more knowledge in his field of expertise.


And last of all, but not least, Mock.  What can I say about him?  He's opinionated, smart mouthed, and surly at times, but he has a heart of gold and takes very good care of me. (He's also my roommate, for those of you who don't know.)  


All the guys take care of me in so many ways.  Explaining what they mean to my life is a major undertaking.  


I would be greatly amiss not to mention Wiener.  She's the only "girl" chosen by me.  Her comfort was missed while I was in the hospital.  I found myself, early one morning, petting my covers thinking it was her.  And, when we were reunited, as the doggy cartoon says, "She was so excited to see me, she didn't know whether to lick me or pee."  With her, either is possible.  She has surely been my "Saran Wrap Girl" for the last few days.  She provides comic relief and extra moral support each and every day.


All the superlatives that exist and then some are not enough to explain how I feel about my family and friends. I am truly blessed and spoiled.  If I were to live another thousand years, I would still be thanking God for the blessings of friendship and family.  Each and every day is special to me. I am truly blessed beyond what I deserve.  Thank you God.

What's the punch line?

So, I was sitting here, minding my own business, and the gate phone rang. Ween knows that means visitors so she starts barking, dancing, and jumping. She can't really dance or jump; legs too short and weighs too much, but she tries.

The person at the gate was the person from Home Healthcare.  Two hours later and so much information zipping around my brain, she asked if I had any questions.  Since I blanked out most of what she said, I told her I didn't have any questions. ( I didn't know enough to ask questions.)  I have since garnered from Mock and "the person I can't mention by name."  Mock was a EMT and the other person has been diagnosed with Diabetes and has been through this. (Great resource)

Next,  my trip to the Dr, to find out my blood count "something" or other is not high enough, so I am still on my BLOOD shots to boost my blood. Wellllllll, any idiot could know that my blood should be low in everything.  I'm a quart low according to my dip stick from all the blood letting they have done in the last two weeks.  I'm sure they are supplying the free world with my platelets.

My relative brought me home and called a little later to go to dinner.  He's so sweet.  I think he's worried about me.  He brought me ginger ale, flowers, and spent all kinds of time with me in the hospital.  I'm still expecting to be whole, and the sooner the better.

And then there is Ween's philosophy - "Sleep cures everything."  Even though it's only 6, I think we both need to go hold down the bed.  We're getting really good at that. It comes from lots of practice.

FINALLY HOME

For those of you who have been concerned and checking back and forth, I'm FINALLY HOME.  Whew.  It was a whirlwind trip.

Apparently, I was having TIAs, which I thought was for Tampa International Airport, but apparently not.  Results of the MRI revealed several small blood clots in the brain.  My Dr is concerned and has put me on Coumadin or a blood thinner.  I'm taking shots for several days.  I'll have home-health care during that time and I will be on pills after that.

There was not any clots in the cardioid area, so that's good. My sugar level is fluctuating and they're trying to get that stabilized.  My eye surgery is postponed for at least 6 months.  My physical therapy is to be rescheduled.  I go to my primary care physician tomorrow and go back to the cardiologist in one month.  He will redirect my activities at that time.  Until then, I am supposed to rest and not have any stress in my life.  (Hahahahaha) Oh, he was serious.  I will be off the prednisone by Friday and that should help with that weight gain.  I'm supposed to be on a "bland" diet.  I said "So, basically, if it tastes good, spit it out."  Pretty much!

There are some other minor issues that my doctors are working with and hopefully those will be resolved soon.

So, Ween and I are "in our position" on the couch; I guess we're resting for a while.  Thank you for all the prayers.    I will let you know if there are any changes.

WHAT LORD?

After all the events of the last few weeks, I have come to the conclusion that God is trying to tell me something. What? I'm tired of trying to guess, or doing the wrong thing. Hmmmmm?


After arriving at the hospital for my blood work today, I had another "episode" with my heart. I was rushed to ER, and after several hours of testing on me there, I was admitted to the hospital for more testing. So, here I am. Laying around with no where to go and nothing to do. Julie added Netflix to my iPad. 


I'm going to choose a movie to watch. Poor Ween. She doesn't know what has happened to her Mommy. It's hard enough for me to understand. God willing they will finish the MRI tomorrow and I can go home. I'm so tired of this. Don't I sound pitiful? Actually I'm probably better off than 3/4 of the population of Orlando. It's rough laying around, being waited on and nothing to do. Of course, being at the beach would be better but ...

Laugh or Cry?

According to 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No testing has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tested beyond what you can bear. But when you are tested, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
As Joyce Meyer would say, "This is just a test.  It is only a test."


The last few years, God has allowed the testing far beyond what I consider the amount I can bear.  Just one more thing; and then another, and another, and another.  And, just when I think it is over, another "THING" happens. And, yet, He sends someone or something we need to take care of that "THING."


The last few weeks have been so emotional, as I have said.  This week another set of "things" are cropping up.  Today was supposed to be, what I have come to call, a DOWN or Rest day.  Mock had appts starting with a 10:00 blood work test.  I woke him; he got dressed; left the apartment and came back within a minute stating the car battery was dead.  


I just had the car serviced.  Why wasn't that found?  Another "thing" to deal with.  None of the men in the apartment office have jumper cables (Interesting, huh?)  I called "the relative I can't mention," and he came all the way here from work, jumped the car, and went to pick up the prescription for my blood work to be done tomorrow before the MRI. (He must love me.) 


The Dr's offices is telling me that a blood test is not necessary to do an MRI. The hospital is telling me that they require a blood test before MRIs. (Interesting, huh?) The hospital sent a request for a RX for blood work. And, had not received the information from the Dr's office.  I asked the Dr's office to fax a copy to the hospital; even gave them the number to fax; it was also included on the request. I didn't want to take any chances, so "He" picked up the Rx for me so that we will have it tomorrow.


At O:dark:30 tomorrow, I am to be at the hospital for blood work before the MRI.  Interesting, if not enjoyable.

"YO YO" OR ROLLERCOASTER?

Emotions are tricky.  The last few weeks have been all over the "physical" and "mental" map of my life.  My eye surgery has been put on hold.  When my cardiologist told me that, it was all I could do to hold it together until I got to the car.  He will not "sign off" on my eye surgery until he finds out what is happening with my heart;  Me and my big mouth.  I guess I shouldn't have told the opthomologist's office about the heart problem.

As I reached for the keys to start the car, the thought "My Life Is In Your Hands" came to mind.  I went to I-tunes to find a copy of an old song I knew as a child.  I didn't find that one but found a new one by the same name recorded by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir:

You don't have to worry; And don't you be afraid

Joy comes in the morning; Troubles they don't last always

For there's a friend in Jesus; who will wipe the tears away
And, if your heart is broken;  just lift your hands and say 

Oh I know that I can make it; I know that I can stand;
No matter what,   may come my way; My life is in your hands.

You don't have to worry; And don't you be afraid

Joy comes in the morning; Troubles they don't last always

For there's a friend in Jesus; who will wipe the tears away

And, if your heart is broken;  just lift your hands and say 

Oh I know that I can make it; I know that I can stand;

No matter what,   may come my way; My life is in your hands.

When your tests and trials, they seem to get you down

And all your friends and loved ones;  are nowhere to be found

Remember there's a friend in Jesus; who will wipe the tears away

And, if your heart is broken;  just lift your hands and say 

Oh I know that I can make it; I know that I can stand;

No matter what,   may come my way;  My life is in your hands.

You don't have to worry; And don't you be afraid

Joy comes in the morning; Troubles they don't last always

My life is in your hand.

Enough said!