The last few days have been "interesting, if not enjoyable." I was to begin my weekly rotation, starting on Sunday; went to church, came home; ate a bite; got ready to go to work; got in my car; got more than half-way there and "threw up." I don't know about you, but that really spoils my day, especially when it is in my car. Fortunately, I had a "gadzillion" napkins and paper towels in my car to keep from making too big of a mess. I don't know what it was, but I felt like "something the cats drug in and refused to eat", as my mother would have said. I contacted a Manager on Duty, and she sent me home.
All I could think about was, "I have plans with friends on Wednesday; I can't be sick." I came home, got in bed, tried to get warm, and fell asleep. About 11:30 pm my son texted from Hong Kong. He just left several days ago. (Yes, he had to go back) He had lost his blood pressure medicine, he left his "flash drive" and he wanted me to send "Goo Goo Clusters" and "Moon Pies." After texting back and forth about the meds, I decided it was too late to worry about them last night, and I was still queasy, so I told him I'd take care of it today.
Can't find the meds. He had just gotten a new prescription filled with 3 months worth of pills and, of course, he has to have them. So, after working a 4-hour shift today, (still a little queasy) I contacted the pharmacy and then had to contact the dr's office, with little or no results; ran all over our section of Orlando, in a torrential downpour (lightening and thunder) to no avail finding the Goo Goos or Moon Pies.
The prescription will be ready soon; I have no idea where to get the "goodies", but I am really looking forward to 2 days off and my dinner with friends on Wednesday. The only other thing that would be more exciting is if I also had a date to go with me. Oh well. First things First.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Friday, June 16, 2006
Dying Hurts
I just found out my friend, Tom, who had cirrhosis of the liver, died last Friday, May 26. I don't know whether I am crying for Tom, or for the fact that I miss him, or that I didn't get to go to his service. Either and all are painful.
He was such a sweet, gentle man. I talked with him on that last day. (I just didn't know it was his last day.) I was supposed to have been up there the week-end before and he had promised he would grill some steaks for me. [There's nothing sweeter than a man that will grill for you.] I didn't get to go up that week-end. He was in the hospital then. Later, when I talked with him, he sounded groggy, but very upbeat.
I think I am ANGRY. Angry at me for not realizing he was that sick; angry at "Tallahassee Tom" for not telling me how seriously ill he was; angry at the people in Tallahassee for not telling me sooner, and maybe even angry at God for letting him die.
One of things I have learned, especially in the last 5 years with the death of both of my parents, my husband, and two very close friends - Pete, and now Tom, is - LIFE IS SHORT! Too short to worry about little, annoying things; too short to argue and complain; too short to expend energy staying angry, and definitely too short not to live to the fullest, every single day! And, you know, that is exactly what I intend to continue doing.
He was such a sweet, gentle man. I talked with him on that last day. (I just didn't know it was his last day.) I was supposed to have been up there the week-end before and he had promised he would grill some steaks for me. [There's nothing sweeter than a man that will grill for you.] I didn't get to go up that week-end. He was in the hospital then. Later, when I talked with him, he sounded groggy, but very upbeat.
I think I am ANGRY. Angry at me for not realizing he was that sick; angry at "Tallahassee Tom" for not telling me how seriously ill he was; angry at the people in Tallahassee for not telling me sooner, and maybe even angry at God for letting him die.
One of things I have learned, especially in the last 5 years with the death of both of my parents, my husband, and two very close friends - Pete, and now Tom, is - LIFE IS SHORT! Too short to worry about little, annoying things; too short to argue and complain; too short to expend energy staying angry, and definitely too short not to live to the fullest, every single day! And, you know, that is exactly what I intend to continue doing.
A day in the life
Today is a day off. I only have a few more days until I start working full time. Interesting, isn't it? I moved to Orlando, and took a job a few days a week, just to earn a little more money, and now I'm going full time, with extra duties as a trainer, and, well, who knows what else that will lead to.
I have "mixed emotions" with the impending event of full-time work again. I am already working 4 or 5 days a week, so logic says, I should make it official and enjoy all the extra benefits. Then my lazy side kicks in and says, "Yeah, but you could always take off when you wanted to do so, and those extra off days are reallllllllllllly nice". We'll see.
I have all sorts of errands to do today - get some money from ATM, call insurance co., pick up gift for party tonight, run to get another pair of pants that goes with my uniform, and the list goes on. The different pants are necessary because I split my shorts last night "after" I arrived home. And how, might you ask, did I do that? It seems to be very easy for me. In order to get them to fit "around", they end up being too long. When it's sticky and hot outside, the clothing sticks to my body and when I bend down, the seam splits.
It helps to also know that the clothing has been "used" quite a bit and they are old, but I still have to work next week so I'll go by and pick up another pair today, just adding to my list of things to do. (And, right in the middle of "blogging", my son called and asked me to help him get friends into the park, like RIGHT NOW! You know - I NEVER realized how much extra time I had Charles expend when I had him get me into the park all those years before I started working there. He has NEVER once complained. He is so awesome. God was really good to me when He allowed us to have my sons. I am sooooooooooo grateful for both of them.)
Don't get me wrong, I actually like driving around doing errands. The weather here is beautiful, I have a mustang convertible, and with the top down it is an unbelievable feeling of almost flying.
For some reason, emotions are running high all around me right now - my son is getting ready to go back to Hong Kong for a few weeks and there is a rush to get everything ready for that. A friend's closest companion, her dog, died this week. I have had several friends e-mail or call for prayer and "LIFE" is very intense all around me. And, it seems when I try to get something done so many things crop up to add extra work to my timeline. Oh well. Again, that's Life.
We are going to Bonefish tonight for Bret's birthday. Again, I am so blessed with wonderful people. Bret and Julie, and the girls are such a wonderful addition to our family. I could never explain how they have enriched and broadened all the experiences of my life. They have moved into my days and added "excitement" and busyness. And, I love them as if they had always been there. I'm looking forward to tonight.
Oops. Forgot to stop at the ATM.
I have "mixed emotions" with the impending event of full-time work again. I am already working 4 or 5 days a week, so logic says, I should make it official and enjoy all the extra benefits. Then my lazy side kicks in and says, "Yeah, but you could always take off when you wanted to do so, and those extra off days are reallllllllllllly nice". We'll see.
I have all sorts of errands to do today - get some money from ATM, call insurance co., pick up gift for party tonight, run to get another pair of pants that goes with my uniform, and the list goes on. The different pants are necessary because I split my shorts last night "after" I arrived home. And how, might you ask, did I do that? It seems to be very easy for me. In order to get them to fit "around", they end up being too long. When it's sticky and hot outside, the clothing sticks to my body and when I bend down, the seam splits.
It helps to also know that the clothing has been "used" quite a bit and they are old, but I still have to work next week so I'll go by and pick up another pair today, just adding to my list of things to do. (And, right in the middle of "blogging", my son called and asked me to help him get friends into the park, like RIGHT NOW! You know - I NEVER realized how much extra time I had Charles expend when I had him get me into the park all those years before I started working there. He has NEVER once complained. He is so awesome. God was really good to me when He allowed us to have my sons. I am sooooooooooo grateful for both of them.)
Don't get me wrong, I actually like driving around doing errands. The weather here is beautiful, I have a mustang convertible, and with the top down it is an unbelievable feeling of almost flying.
For some reason, emotions are running high all around me right now - my son is getting ready to go back to Hong Kong for a few weeks and there is a rush to get everything ready for that. A friend's closest companion, her dog, died this week. I have had several friends e-mail or call for prayer and "LIFE" is very intense all around me. And, it seems when I try to get something done so many things crop up to add extra work to my timeline. Oh well. Again, that's Life.
We are going to Bonefish tonight for Bret's birthday. Again, I am so blessed with wonderful people. Bret and Julie, and the girls are such a wonderful addition to our family. I could never explain how they have enriched and broadened all the experiences of my life. They have moved into my days and added "excitement" and busyness. And, I love them as if they had always been there. I'm looking forward to tonight.
Oops. Forgot to stop at the ATM.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Can't Explain it
About a year after my husband's death, I met a man that I was interested in and thought he was interested in me. He ACTED interested. He visited me @ my place of employment (I was working retail at the time); he called me; we went out to several restaurants and he wanted me to be interested in his job also. This sounds all quite innocent, right? He was a "respectable" man of the community and we did not want any "impropriety" on anyone's part, so we tried to keep a low profile. Then one day, he quit calling. He visited my store when I wasn't there, and asked my boss about me and found out my mother had just died. He said to convey his condolences. That was it. That wasn't weird enough, but he called a close friend of mine and even accused me of stalking him. I didn't understand it then, and I certainly don't understand it now. But, I saw him again Friday.
The mind is a strange thing, isn't it. I was with another friend at a restaurant when I looked up and saw him sitting at another table. I don't know how long he was there, or when he came in, but I knew I had to leave. I suddenly had trouble breathing. I was almost to the point of hyperventilating. What was that all about? I don't know. I DO know he must have been in my life for a purpose. I'm just not sure what.
What have I learned about this experience? I know I am very careful about relationships now. Or, meeting any new men. Will this ever change? I don't' know that either. I only know that some day I would like another relationship with another man. I don't know when or where, but I look forward to it. Maybe not to marry, but at least someone to do lunch or dinner. Who knows. He may not be Mr. Right, but he could be Mr. Right Now.
The mind is a strange thing, isn't it. I was with another friend at a restaurant when I looked up and saw him sitting at another table. I don't know how long he was there, or when he came in, but I knew I had to leave. I suddenly had trouble breathing. I was almost to the point of hyperventilating. What was that all about? I don't know. I DO know he must have been in my life for a purpose. I'm just not sure what.
What have I learned about this experience? I know I am very careful about relationships now. Or, meeting any new men. Will this ever change? I don't' know that either. I only know that some day I would like another relationship with another man. I don't know when or where, but I look forward to it. Maybe not to marry, but at least someone to do lunch or dinner. Who knows. He may not be Mr. Right, but he could be Mr. Right Now.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
My Life, As I Know It
June 2 I would have been married for 39 years, had my husband lived. That is cause to reflect on how my life is going now. My son is traveling a lot and I'm here by myself. He's going to be in NY for a few days, and he's even going back to Hong Kong.
This is NOT the life I would have chosen, if I could have chosen it, but it is a good life. I live in a nice 3-bedroom condo with my youngest son; in one of the busiest "happening" cities in the US; wonderful job; mustang convertible; great friends and yet...
I miss being part of a family - the Sunday dinners; the holidays; the calls; the "togetherness" of people being in your life and part of your life. I miss being married - a partner to do things with and for; to go places with and experiences of just every-day life. And, I guess what I miss a lot more than I would easily admit - direction and purpose to my life. I sound like a "whinny" person, right? I guess I am. My friend Jeff says that I'm spoiled and he calls me a "brat". And, maybe that is true too.
I DO have a lot to be thankful for and when it comes down to it, I guess that is more important than what I DON'T have. Jeff is right - I am spoiled. I hate it when he's right.
This is NOT the life I would have chosen, if I could have chosen it, but it is a good life. I live in a nice 3-bedroom condo with my youngest son; in one of the busiest "happening" cities in the US; wonderful job; mustang convertible; great friends and yet...
I miss being part of a family - the Sunday dinners; the holidays; the calls; the "togetherness" of people being in your life and part of your life. I miss being married - a partner to do things with and for; to go places with and experiences of just every-day life. And, I guess what I miss a lot more than I would easily admit - direction and purpose to my life. I sound like a "whinny" person, right? I guess I am. My friend Jeff says that I'm spoiled and he calls me a "brat". And, maybe that is true too.
I DO have a lot to be thankful for and when it comes down to it, I guess that is more important than what I DON'T have. Jeff is right - I am spoiled. I hate it when he's right.
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