TRUTH OR DARE

Truth seems, at first glance, a mercurial word that can have numerous meanings:

1. the true or actual state of a matter
2. conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.
3. a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.
4. the state or character of being true.
5. actuality or actual existence.
6. an obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.
7. honesty; integrity; truthfulness.
8. (often initial capital letter) ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.
9. agreement with a standard or original.
10. accuracy, as of position or adjustment.
11. Archaic. fidelity or constancy.
—Idiom
12. in truth, in reality; in fact; actually: In truth, moral decay hastened the decline of the Roman Empire.

Sometimes, truth can even be "in the eye of the beholder" or on a sliding scale. When it comes right down to it, or as I like to say, THE BOTTOM LINE, you can't skirt issues just because you don't like the results. And, THE TRUTH IS WHAT IT IS.

I like honesty. I deal with issues better up front and bottom line. Sometimes it's harder; sometimes you have to make difficult choices, but that is just me. I have had to sign DNR papers for my father; I found my husband dead on the floor of our bedroom; I sat beside my mother's bed and heard her when she breathed her last breath.

As I face a new health issue in my life, I am trying to deal with it "HEAD ON" as I have tried to do most of my life. A preliminary diagnosis of Lupus is before me. I am educating myself on this "INTERESTING" word that has appeared in my vocabulary. It is also a mercurial word that is hard to diagnose and even harder to treat. I have chosen to go holistic and organic. I am taking "a kidzillion" types of vitamins, minerals, and remedies to try to help me feel better. For those like I used to be and aren't familiar with the term, it is an autoimmune illness and can be dormant or in remission for a time and then return with a vengeance. I believe I have had it for some time, as I look back over my years of symptoms, and it has gone into remission and then come back periodically, etc. This time it has hit harder than ever before. It takes very little to "wipe me out" physically at this time. I can never depend on what I will have the energy to do. It's hard to plan something and then not be able to do it. When I asked God why, His answer was "WHY NOT?" (I hate it when He's right)

As I dare to forge ahead, I am thankful for friends and family who support me and for all the prayers that surround me. It could be a lot worse diagnosis and I could be all alone. So now I dare to trust God for even more guidance. I dare to live my life to the fullest. I dare to "Live like I am Dying" , as Tim McGraw sings, because even without this diagnosis every day is just a gift from God. That's why it's called the PRESENT.

INTERESTING AND ENJOYABLE

Life is sometimes exciting; sometimes not; but NEVER boring. My first husband Tom NEVER complained and OR had anything bad to say about anyone. I know people have "over used" those sayings, but with him it was true. Ask anyone that knew him. He also coined a phrase so that he did not HAVE TO complain or be negative. I have used many it times

"INTERESTING IF NOT ENJOYABLE."

The events of the last few weeks have been almost too elating and exciting to detail. I have been on a "sabbatical" of sorts-taking a month off from work. If I could have chosen the events, I would have left out all the probing and prodding, especially by Drs, and the crude, chaotic rituals of health care "vampires", intrusive machines (although I am working on a theory of mine for enjoying all this) but I certainly would not have given up all the visitations and individuals that have materialized within my daily on-goings.

Paula, and friends; Ms Soles and family; resting; a different restaurant almost every day; visits to the parks to let people enter; resting; presents; parties to celebrate my birthday; resting; looking at new houses; and today, one last present from Bob - He's taking me to a restaurant at one of the parks that has an anamatronic rat named REMY. Is that totally neat, or what?

All the medical garbage totals up to a "tentative" diagnosis, but that's another blog for another day. In the mean time, I'm basking in the afterglow of all the wonderful friends, relatives and magical events of the past few weeks. If I haven't told you, I am truly blessed.