Sadness

Down deep, I know death is a part of life. That seems like a paradox, but yet it makes sense. I have received word that my husband's aunt just died. She was such a special person.

My in-laws were not really very happy when Tom and I were talking about getting married. Not so with Irlene. She was so approving of me without any reservations and welcoming me into the family with great warmth. She and Tom were a lot alike - gentle, accepting, with a funny sense of humor. I can't think of her without thinking of Tom's Grandparent's homestead in Highway, KY. They lived on what they raised. And man could they cook!!! I can almost taste all the great veggies they fixed.

I will miss Irlene. It is frequently said, "Oh they are in a better place." Never has that been more true for anyone, especially for her. She developed Alzheimer's a few years ago, and she really had not been "of this world" for many years. It was very sad. Now she is finally home. I know she and Tom are having a great reunion. I'm a little jealous.

'Twas The Day After Christmas

Christmas is now officially over. Did I get my boyfriend from Santa? Alas, "Ah - No!" unfortunately. I DID SEE "A Boyfriend For Christmas" that Hallmark replayed for the umpteenth time this holiday season. And, as cute as it was, and as sentimental as I am, it really didn't do a lot for me. And, I also didn't get a new computer or car or house. Whiny, huh?

As my good friend and fellow accountability partner Vickie would say, "Would I like a little cheese with that whine?" Yes, I am really pitiful!

Did I really expect all those things I mentioned? No. Not really. I DID get lots of nice presents (more than I deserved); spent time with close friends and relatives; ate too much, and also got some rest time, which are all positives. Now I can go back to work and get ready for New Years. I wonder if the New Year's Baby brings presents. "Hummmmmmmmm" If not, my birthday is in July.

Here Comes Santa Claus

Most holidays are pretty routine to some people; not in my household. NOTHING can be considered routine with the family.

As most everyone knows, I live with my youngest son. He, being an exec. does not have to work on Christmas, but I volunteered since I haven't small children and at the time of the sign up, I didn't know my sister-in-law and niece were coming to visit. Now the dilemma is to find a time when all of us can get together, and around my work time.

My older son had a birthday yesterday and chose to celebrate on Friday over here with us. He brought some friends and I think he had a nice time. We ended up with dinner @ a Japanese Restaurant in the park.

Being the type A, controlling personality that he inherited from his grandmother, (and maybe the way his mother used to be) he decided he wasn't driving ALLLLLLLLL the way back over here for Christmas. (approximately 1 hr) He doesn't have to go back to work until Tuesday. (As Julie would say, "Makes you want to go hmmmmm").

Yes; it would be easier on me, especially since I have to be @ work by 7:00 that day. And, Yes, I would really appreciate it. Is it going to happen? Probably not. Now I have to figure out how to pack another thing into an already busy week. But, it's Christmas and I DO want to spend time with him, and see my "baby dog" Carson. And, Tom is a great cook. So, I'll probably drive over there. I can always sleep at some later time.

I did ask Santa for a new boyfriend. That will be very interesting to see how that happens. I can't wait. Well, actually I asked Santa AND GOD. I figured I'd hedge my bet with the two "biggest" names I know. I have found out that in life it never hurts to cover all your bases.

My Life

Life is certainly interesting. Just when I think I know where it is going, I am surprised with where it went.

A popular country-western song right now is, "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" says Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful life. And, for the most part that is true. The surprises in my life certainly make things 'interesting, if not enjoyable.'

As I look back over this past year, I see twists and turns that I never saw coming. And, I see comfortable spots where I rested for a while. Life happens, even when I'm not ready for it. But I must say, I am truly blessed. It certainly isn't the life I would have chosen, but it's a "Wonderful Life."

SORRY IS A NECESSARY WORD

While on this earth and married to me, my husband Tom taught me many things. He taught me that kindness is always in style; mercy doesn't cost you anything; love is expanding; and saying you're sorry is especially necessary when you have acted like an idiotic, raving lunatic.

Last week I met a very nice man, that I will probably never see again. I totally embarrassed myself with him and unless a miracle occurs, something that could have been, isn't going to happen. He will never learn that I have a kind heart. He will not know how much I love helping people. He won't know what a good cook I "can be." But, most of all, he will never be able to know and love the real me. This make me sad.

Going beyond tired, I am weary. Tom always said I "overbooked my time," and I certainly have proven him right once more. It seems that the more tired I am, the "stupider" I get and the more mistakes I make. Even now, it is 4 am and I can't sleep because my mind is exploding with all the things that need to be done, half of which I probably won't be able to do simply because of time constraints.

My wise and talented Mother used to say, "Some people live and learn, and some people just live." (I still hear her words of wisdom even long after her demise.) I certainly haven't learned time management very well. Still, as we approach a brand new year, I believe there is always hope. Hope for humanity; hope for our country, and hope I can at least make it through the next few days of this year with a modicum of sanity.

Crazy Days

Work the last few days has been extremely hectic. I have recently been promoted and although I haven't "officially" been trained or moved into the position, responsibilities have been extended and expectations are being acknowledged. I really don't mind that, but I some times feel extremely "frustrated" by not being able to do some of the tasks. My friends seem to think I am have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and some times even a little anal about getting things completed. With that in mind, you can understand my frustration.

I still love my job though. There are actually times when I have a hard time believing that I am so blessed with all that I have and am able to do. I am living my dream. And, that is so totally cool.

911

Last night I had a friend call. She had set up a "blind" date for me. Normally, I decline, gracefully I might add, and I had lots to do on my day off, but I decided this had been a long time happening, so I might as well go ahead.

I have been singing in a local "Christmas" program with a "cast" choir. I have practiced since late August, and have actually sung many times. Guess where he wanted to go? You guessed it; the 5:00 performance of the program, and we were to do dinner afterward. I said, "Ah, okay."

I was okay with going because I really like the Christmas Story and I actually had not seen it from the audience seats this year. Imagine my surprise when I actually had a great time. This is one of the few "setups" by friends that went well. He is a very nice man and we seem to get along okay. He asked for my number and I got his. So what's the problem? He hasn't called!

I expected him to be so overwhelmed by my "charm, conversation, beauty, etc." that he would have a hard time getting home before he called. Well, maybe not that bad, but what is with men anyway? As a book title says, "Maybe he's just not that into you." It could be true. Oh well. Am I sitting by the phone, pineing for his call? No, not exactly. You see, I have a cell phone and I can pine while I am driving from place to place. Ah, modern technology. What would we do without it? (And, oh yes, I passed on dinner).

Dilemma

When faced with choices, I don't always make the right decision. For those of you who know me, I know that is hard to believe. But, for those of you who don't, this is a surprise. This is a serious one though.

I have a VERY close friend whose child is stealing from me. I know it. The child knows I know it, and they do it anyway. What do I do? If I let the parent know, I risk the chance of losing the friend. I would really hate to do that. If I don't, the child will continue. And, I can't trust them. This is one of those can't win dilemmas.