As Time Goes By

January 30, 2010
Today would have been my brother's 73rd birthday.  My mind will not let me visualize him at that age because he died when he was 30 years old.  I was in summer school at college, in Nashville, TN and don't remember a lot of the details of the event.  I know his plane went down on my birthday, July 12, and they found the plane and his body on his daughter's birthday - July 15.  
I had one of my "spiritual" experiences at that time.  The 15th was a Sunday.  I was at church; sunday school had just finished. I walked out of the chapel and was waiting for Tom on the porch-like area outside the chapel.  I felt an arm around my shoulder. At the same time, I heard my brother whisper in my ear - "It's okay.  I'm fine.  Everything will be okay."  He hugged me; I felt warm all over and he was gone.  This was "before" I was called for them to tell me they had found his body.  (I have had many of those in my lifetime.  I can't explain them or why I have them.  Just one of the perks of being a child of God.)

I know from experience that I was in shock and your memory isn't reliable enough to properly grasp the details in that type of instance.  Bits and pieces stand out and yet, I was fully aware of some of the "intense" events - my mother crying to the point of making herself ill; the memorial service having lots of "Marines" there and wondering why because my brother hated being in the marines; landing at the airport in Charleston, WV - diving to land on the mtn top landing strip; getting back in Nashville and wondering how I got there.

About 3 weeks later I received a reel-to-reel tape from my brother.  I remember it sounding depressing.  I only got to play it once in that it erased as it played.  (Providentially, I'm sure.) I could only remember parts of it.  I don't think my sister-in-law believed me when she asked about it several months later.  He died in Yokohama, Japan.  Billie Jean, his wife,  returned after getting most of the paperwork completed.  And, I lived with her for several months after she came back.  

She had a rough few years - She had another child while in Japan; Her Mother died of cancer; Her Father died in car wreck; She developed cancer and had to have surgery; Charlie, my brother, died in his own plane wreck. I reminded her of Charlie, and she and my mother didn't get along.  I was the one there at the time.  Those are only some of the reasons she seemed upset all the time.

Not many people did know my mother though. She was very guarded with her true emotions. In all fairness to her, I guess she had to be.  She worked hard most of her life and was only able to relax when she was able to retire after moving to Florida.  I didn't actually get to know and understand her until she came to live with us shortly after my father died in 2000.

As for my brother, I still miss him.  I probably always will.  I do remember when I was finally able to mourn for him.  I was sitting on the riverbank, some time later, behind the house where my parents lived, and I felt an intense depressive feeling come over me and I just started crying. I thought I wasn't going to be able to stop.  But I did and life goes on.  I look forward to seeing him again.  He could always make me laugh.

Sowing and Reaping

Galatians 6:7 (King James Version)

" ⁷Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

There are many laws that God set up when He made the Earth.  The Law of Gravity - What goes up, must come down.  The Law of Genetics - Certain traits are passed to your offspring.  Or, the Law of Sowing and Reaping.  You cannot sow corn and expect strawberries.

I was reminded of the Law of Sowing and Reaping by one of my sons last week.  He could not be more like Tom, my husband, if we had physically had him, but he is one of my adopted sons.  He and "a relative I can't mention by name" are very much alike - logical; level-headed; forthright; and definitely honest with me.  I appreciate those qualities and often go to them for advice.

Going to other humans, you have several options.  You can listen and ignore them.  You can listen, analyze the words and ignore them.  Or, you can actually "hear" what they say and incorporate it into your decisions.  It's like going to the Dr. He tells you that you need to lose weight, and you get upset with him because he has stated the obvious or you follow his directions.

Actually, going to Wiener for advice is much easier.  She looks me square in the eyes, licks my hand or face, and lays down to take a nap.  Very sound advice.  She is extremely wise in her own way.  For now, I'll follow her example.  I should write this down for posterity; maybe a book.  I even know the title - "The Laws of Wiener."  You have to admit - It has possibilities.

Golf is not a sport

Golf cannot possibly be considered a sport.  It was, at one time, men in awful plaid pants who quietly cursed at a small, round white object as they slowly chased around on a lovely green grassy park over little hills and sandy areas.  They also had young men who followed them with humongous canvas bags full of sticks with funky covers on them.  Ever so often, the young bag carriers would hand the plaid wearers a new stick to wave at the round objects and the cursing would begin again.

This week-end I learned this "activity" has changed;  when and where, I wouldn't know. Three friends from out of town, came to O-land just to chase those round, white objects around for 3 days.  They did not have a "Plan B" in case of rain, which of course did happen on the second day.  I would think that it would not be a good idea to be outside with a metal stick in my hand when it is lightening and thundering, especially on an open field with little mounds that have to be climbed.  Fortunately for this area, rain doesn't usually last long.  Plan B or C was to eat breakfast and wait until the storm moved quickly through the area.

Walking has been replaced with driving little carts all over that have racks on them that hold a smaller version bag.  No more funky clothing and no more need for the young men to carry the hugh bags.  I also got a "history" lesson on how to play and what some of the rules are now.  Watching them see the grounds for the first time was like watching little boys coming down stairs to the presents at Christmas.  Their eyes opened wide, sparkled, and I think I even saw some "drool" on their lips.  Not my cup of tea, but a seemingly harmless event.  And, they took me out to dinner last night at one of the top restaurants on property.  Three good looking guys, being able to enjoy "filet mignon" and creme brulee - it's all good.  We only have one life to live, but if you do it right, that's all you need.

FAVORITE THINGS

Funerals are definitely NOT on my list of favorite things.  When I am getting ready to go to one, I dread all sorts of things that deal with those emotions.  I had such an occasion this morning.  A friend's father died this week and  "a favorite relative" and I knew we had to go to support the friends and family.

Imagine my surprise when I came away from the Celebration of His Life, and I knew I had been to church. Wow. What a service.  One of my favorite radio "teachers" - Dr Steve Brown - was the main pastor to speak.  Not only was he inspirational but he also spoke words that touched my heart.

Ed Brandon was a leader for everyone who knew him or was related to him. He not only lived his life in a way to inspire others but as a Husband, Father, Grandfather, etc, he was true to his beliefs and God's word. The music; the words; the whole tenor of the service certainly celebrated a life you can only aspire to follow.  As he ends each of his programs, Dr Brown, completed the tribute to Ed by using his usual "program ending" - Now think about that!  I definitely will, and smile every time I remember.

Seminars can be just meetings

You name it-I've probably taken the class.  Pasco County School System is famous for it's training classes.  As you know, just because you have heard it or read about it, doesn't mean you have practiced it.  Theoretically, as a close family friend likes to say, a seminar should be helpful.

The term "seminar" conjures up, at least to me, boring, listless, or at best-meetings with perhaps one item of interest.  Sunday I attended a seminar that was interesting and possibly exactly what I needed.  "New Goals, New You" was the title and as much as I like to avoid meetings at all cost, this was worth the time and money invested.

Even if I didn't hear a lot of "new" things, I DID hear some things that I needed to hear as reminders.  I need to focus more on what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.  Organization is the name of the game for me right now.  When I get overwhelmed, I have a tendency to just "quit" and lay down.  That is precisely what I have been doing for the last month; but no more.  It's time for action.  I know what I need to do.  I just have to do it.

Why heaven came to mind, I don't know, but I started to think about what we do in heaven.  That opens another whole realm of questions for me.  I know we will be praising God for about 10, 000 years, but is that  "Heaven years, or Earth years?"  Then what?  Also, what about accountability for what we did on Earth?  How does that work?  If God FORGETS AND FORGIVES, and He does-how will we be accountable for all we've said or done while here on Earth?  If we're going to have to be accountable in Heaven, how does He forgive and forget?  Circular thinking?  It's all so confusing at times.

But, do you believe in coincidences?  Me neither.  If not though, why does the name "Sheila" mean "question" in Hebrew?  Check out Jeremiah 1:5.

DECISIONS?

Working New Years was a little different in that it was "quieter" than I thought it would be; more people worked than I imagined would be there; and, we got to party 'a little' for about a minute and a half with hats, horns, and even sparkling cider.  I even worked 8 hours; until 3:30 am on New Year's day.  I have only worked 6 hr shifts since that time.

It's time to make decisions; new year-new life.  I have been accused of having control issues.  That might be true, but once the decisions are made, I don't usually have problems doing what needs to be done.  For me, it's making THE decision.

I'm talking with "a close relative" today and asking about plans for this year.  I need a place to live.  My lease is up March 1 and I would prefer NOT to stay in this apartment.  I have seen several houses, on line, in the neighborhood, that I think I can afford.  Julie will be back today, God willing, and she will take over the "house hunting." (She's much more qualified.)  We'll see.  That leads to another issue - What to do about Bob?  [Seemed like a good idea at the time.]  To be continued. . .