Documentation

Sarcoidosis is a disease characterized by the development and growth of tiny clumps of inflammatory cells in different areas of your body. Sarcoidosis can affect virtually any organ, but most commonly it affects your lungs, lymph nodes, eyes and skin. (Per Mayo Clinic)

Approximately 10 years ago, I was given the diagnosis of Sarcoidosis.  The only reason I mention it now is because I wanted a documentation of an episode I had today.  If you are reading this, it is not necessary to contact me.  This is just informational.


Today, while I was shopping at Publix, in my right eye I had a "stripe" of white that appeared.  It looked like someone had swiped a paint brush across my glasses.  (I wasn't wearing my glasses at the time.)  I broke out in a cold sweat and the store started swirling around.  Fainting is not something I have ever done, but I had no doubt I was about to do so.  I grabbed the cart and stood up straight. It's amazing what you HAVE TO DO, when you need to do it. Checking out of the store and going home at that time was something God helped me to do.


When I got home, I had lost so much water from sweating, all my clothes were drenched.  I asked Bob to put away the groceries and went into the bedroom to lay down.  Wiener automatically followed me.  She begged to get on the bed, crawled onto my stomach and began to lick my face rapidly.  She stopped.  Put her head on my face, took it off and began to lick my face again.  (I think she was trying to stop the sweating.)  When I stopped sweating, she stopped.


After about 15 minutes, I was able to return to the kitchen.  Fortunately, I had gotten some orange juice and quickly drank a glass.  I was thinking about dehydration or at least loss of potassium.  The juice helped me feel better, at least mentally.
[Kind of ironic that I comically talked today in an earlier blog about symptoms that I just had.  Who knew?]

The "B" word

Today is a good day.  Why you might ask?  It's payday.  In it's self that is not as exciting as some days of the week, but today is when I start my new "b-----."  I HATE THE WORD!!! It should probably be a 4-letter word, except it's not.  And, I have NEVER been very good at it.  If I am to survive without working, I will certainly have to pay attention to it.


Being the "spoiled, overly pampered, privileged princess" that I am (Bob's words; not mine) I have not really thought about "the word" much in the last 40 years of my life. Reality is - I have to do this. How do I go about setting up a "b-----?"  Where do I start?  Who gets what?  


I am already sweating; vision is getting fuzzy; I think I'm going to faint.  (It's a good thing I can type laying down.)  I have heard people use the phrase "Champagne taste with a beer b-----."  I'm about the find out what that means.

WAITING

Lines.  Traffic.  Money.  Promises.  Sometimes it seems as if all I do is wait.  I don't know about you, but I do not do it well sometimes.  If I were to confess honestly, and that is the best policy, I don't do it well most of the time.  But, thank God, I'm better than I used to be.

Is impatience heredity?  Where does it derive?  Do we learn to wait?  Or, does waiting become easier the more we have to do it?  Or, maybe it becomes easier with knowledge, and, dare I say it, with age.  I can't say for sure how we obtain patience except by experiencing life.  For me, it is hard.  I'm in, what I call, a "holding" pattern right now.  Resting is about the only thing I can do well.  And, of course, talk with God and Wiener.

Wiener has learned the word wait.  (Sometimes I think she's smarter than me.)  I ask her to wait when we go out so I can tie my shoes. Then when we go for a walk I ask her to wait while I talk with a neighbor.  And, the most impatient time for her is when I am getting her food ready - she has to wait then, too.  You can learn a lot from Wiener.  I may need to write a book on "Wienerism" and then follow her advice. Sometimes waiting also involves napping.

TODAY

"This is the day that the Lord hath made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

STINKER OR THINKER

What is the difference between talking WITH God or praying TO God?  Is there a difference between thinking GREAT thoughts or thinking BIG thoughts about GOD?  Dreaming GREAT dreams or dreaming BIG dreams for God?  Doing GREAT things or doing BIG things for God?  Do we achieve the same results in doing either?  Are the words interchangeable?  And, will God be pleased with either?

Do I have to have the answers when I come up with these enormous theological questions? Maybe not. Joyce Meyer JUST NOW said on the tv, "It's enough just to be at peace.  We don't have to think a lot or do a lot of things to get answers.  Common sense is a gift from God.  Frustration and confusion are not from God.  Just DO the word!"  Wow.  Talk about timing.

FORM A HABIT:
1.  of studying the Word
2.  of talking to God about everything
3.  of being led by peace (Shalom)
4.  of saying NO to ourselves and YES to God

Every time God shows up with the answer to my questions, in REAL TIME as they say, I am amazed.  I don't know why.  "A relative close to me" has always said that my theme song should be "I Need Thee Every Hour."  It has been a joke in the family for years.  I think he might be right.  That is MY song.  I must remember that and live it like I believe it.

P.S.  Something that just came to me while I was conversing with God this morning - I'M ALREADY GREAT IN GOD'S EYES. " I am the apple of His eye."  "He has written my name on His right hand."  Wow!  I can't believe I had forgotten those scriptures.  Thanks for reminding me Father.

MOCK'S ADVICE

In the words of the esteemed Mr. Charles Mock, "The larger the screwup; the bigger the present."  If that is true, evidentially, Bob thought he was in deep Cau Cau.  He gave me all new living room furniture for Valentines.  (Maybe also Anniversary, Birthday and probably St Swizzle's Day.)
(Delivery day at Apt; beautiful FL weather)


Two weeks ago, He said "Let's go to lunch."  Seemingly harmless.  We usually eat lunch or dinner together, so I said "Okay."  Instead of going to a restaurant, he pulled into the parking lot of a local "Rooms To Go."  When I asked why we were here, he just said, "Oh; to look around."


After about 15 minutes of looking, he asked if I saw anything I liked.  I had already "eyed" a nearby set and said, "As a matter of fact, I did."  He called a saleslady over and asked, "If we were to purchase this furniture, does the 50" tv still go with it?"  


It's hard to keep me from talking, but believe it or not, I just stood there with my mouth open saying "What?"  Bob asked when I wanted it delivered and I calculated it would take several days to get the apt ready, so I said "Next Thursday." 


I honestly started to protest, but the last time I did, he accused me of being ungrateful.  I didn't want him to think I was rejecting his gift. (Also in Pastor's sermon last Sunday)  I had to get rid of all the furniture in the living room (required 3 different people to do a pick up or drop off); schedule a carpet cleaning, rearrange the bedroom furniture (also getting rid of some of it), schedule a tv delivery, and a Bright House person to attach the new box and set up tv in the midst of trying to buy supplemental insurance, looking at houses to buy, schedule testing at Mayo Clinic, picking up documents from my 8 doctors, and trying to meet with some friends from NY who were at WDW.  (pics later)


Thanks to friends, family, delivery schedulers, and anyone else I could beg, it all happened.  Vicki was especially helpful.  Have you seen the "Glad bag piano movers?"  That was Vicki and me moving the stuff and boxes that had to be moved.  Nothing ended up in a Glad bag, but it was touch and go for a while; especially trying to move the chair up a staircase of "a relative close to me."
Wiener has already chosen several spots. We're all surprised; after all, she lets us live here out of the goodness of her heart.  It must have something to do with her not being able to open the food or not having thumbs. I'm not sure.


I think this is the first time I have ever had a whole room of new furniture at one time.  It looks grey, but it is really a light chocolate color and I'm using green and red accents.  I have a "throw" that the girls gave me for Christmas one year and I have always liked the colors. (The HGTV shows are finally paying off.)


For whatever reason, Bob decided to give me the furniture and I really like it.  I guess now I have to be nice to him.  Mock was right - either Bob really thought he stepped in it or is going to, or could it be?  He really likes me and wants me to be happy? For whatever reason, we have all new furniture in the living room.


Who is Mock?  He's a man of deep thinking and ideas; very sensitive, and I use to work with him.  Maybe it's a "Magical Moment."  (Inside joke.)

Mayo Visit

Every new experience is an adventure for me.  Visiting THE Mayo Clinic was just that.  The government could take lessons in organization.  My five appointments went like "clockwork."  I went from place to place without any problems of scheduling or wasted time.


I liked the doctor I was assigned - Dr P.  Very professional, friendly, asked great questions and, actually seemed to hear what I was saying.  His evaluation of my symptoms generate the additional testing they will do.  I was actually scheduled to have additional testing this week, but I decided I was not prepared to stay so they rescheduled and I will be going back on May 17 for a week of testing.  


They do not have facilities for you to stay AT the clinic.  You must book a room in a nearby hotel, stay there over night and return the next day for the testing.  I decided I needed some time to make arrangements so we rescheduled and came home.


He found some neuropathy in my lower extremities.  That is part of the problem with my feet staying so cold.  He's not sure what is causing it, so he is testing to see what is found.  No one has ever mentioned that aspect of testing.  He also wants to do a "Psych Eval." (For those who know me, that has been a long time coming.  I have always been told I was crazy).  Sorry, they will be testing my memory.  And, when the results come back "normal"  I will have PROOF.  So there!


I certainly felt a lot better after talking with him.  I think I've come to the right place and we will FINALLY find out what is wrong with me, PHYSICALLY at least.  

New addition

We now have a new member of our family.  Luke.  He's my new Granddog.  He's so cute.  I didn't even know we were expecting.  I'm always the last to know everything.

We haven't had him tested yet, but I'm sure he's very bright; very intelligent eyes.  Now Joey has a playmate.  He's also part Lab, like Joey.  And, presumably, young.  He's still a little hyper (per the new Papa). 

He was adopted, as natural childbirth is not possible at this time.  He's trained, to some degree.  (We're still working on that).  Hey.  God is still working on my training too.

We're so excited.  I can hardly wait to meet him.  Wiener, on the other hand, is not impressed. 

When you're cute, you're cute

Shopping is not something I do easily.  I know; I know.  It's supposed to be a "woman's thing."  As a close relative of mine would say, "I didn't get that gene."  When I HAVE to go shopping, I try to make it a one place thing so that I can finish quickly and get out of the store.  I went to a local "super store" several days ago, had 5 things on my list.  I got 7. There were 2 "adorable" dresses there, $1 each, for the "Ween."  Of course, I had to have them.

When the temperature here drops below 65, she doesn't want to go outside, and she loves playing dress up, so we had to try out one of the outfits as it was only a high of 60 today.  She didn't want me to take it off when we returned to the apartment.

Julie says she looks like a sausage.  I say more "bratwurst" than wiener.  But, who's to say.  You can't see the writing on the back, but it says  "Princess."  (I wonder?)

She's glad to have me home.  I feel like singing "Me and My Shadow."  I can't even move without her RIGHT behind me.  The question is though - How else could she show off her new outfits if I were not here? Shortly after I took that picture, she had to nap.  (It's hard work looking this cute.)

Addendum to Highs and Lows

Anyone read the book or see the movie - Catch 22?  The basic principle was there were only two choices and neither one would work. I happen to "march" into Catch 22 many times.  This is one of them.  When I was working, I qualified to buy the house.  Now that I am not working, I do not qualify to get the house. Oh well.  It was fun while it lasted.

I'm not upset, just a little disappointed.  It seemed everything was falling into place.  I know God is in control.  I just wonder what He is thinking some times.  Not that I have to know, or that I would even understand; it would just be nice.

I use to say, "Wait until I die.  I have a million questions for God."  Now, I've come to the conclusion, neither the questions nor the answers will matter in Heaven, so I guess I can throw away my list.  Life is really too short to be bogged down in unimportant matters.  If I want to be great in God's eyes, then I have to Think Great Thoughts, Dream Great Dreams, and Do Great Things for Him.  And, that is my goal.  (That should keep me busy for a while.)

HIGHS AND LOWS

Ever have a day full of highs and lows?  It's really interesting, to say the least.

I have gotten this "totally wild" idea that I want to move into a house. Why? I can't for the life of me know, but there it is.  Yesterday, Julie and I went looking again.  We found a lovely house, in my price range, on the water, that needed some repairs.  I'm not really into that right now, so we went back to one we had already looked at.  I really liked it when I first saw it.  It was one of four that we were to look at, but 2 were "short sales" which is a challenge and don't want to do (or so I'm told.)  One was not available as it already had a contract pending and the last one, the one I liked, was still available.

We went back to the house, and wouldn't you know, the bank that owns the house, was adding all new appliances.  They had the yard mowed and cleaned of old leaves and branches; had added new carpeting and paint, and it looked even better than when we first saw it.  No additional price.  I was overwhelmed and excited.  Julie, who is a realtor, called the bank to see how we could make an offer.  It was amazing.

At the same time, we had taken Wiener, (seemed like a good idea at the time) she had pooped in the yard and when she sat down on my lap, proceeded to wipe her butt on my jeans.  Of course, it was green and smelly.  Needless to say, I had to go home and change before we could finish some errands we were going to do while out.

We're off again.  Found everything I needed; did everything I was to do; went home. Vicki can't come on Thurs to help me pack, so we rescheduled that for Monday; scheduled a trip to Pasco for Tuesday; called for a carpet cleaning for Tuesday, as they are bringing new furniture on Thursday and the carpet needs 2 days to dry; called about Ween's grooming on Wed. Sometime this week-end, I have to get rid of 2 couches, a bookcase, a chest of drawers, a coffee table and a TV in order to place the new furniture. (Bob's Valentines Day Present to me)  I know it's confusing but try to keep up.  I'm confused and I live here.

And, so my life goes.  It's a good thing I resigned.  I'm much too busy to work.