We still have New Years

Christmas Day is over and as usual, I got far more than I deserved.  Family was here.  We celebrated two different times - Christmas Eve for Julie/Bret and family; Christmas Day for the rest of the family.  Julie and Bret were leaving for Oklahoma the next day, so it was good that we could be together at least for a little while.

Christmas Eve evening we went to a new restaurant to celebrate Tom's birthday, which is really December 23, but we celebrate when everyone can get together.  We went to a Greek restaurant that is "on property."  I guess I have been in too many restaurants AND I am too opinionated; but I was underwhelmed.  Being close friends with many people of Greek heritage and eaten so much food with them, that I truly must have authentic ethnic food to really like it.  This wasn't truly Greek food per se, but Greekish type food with a different flare.  The saganaki (fried cheese) was a different type of cheese and had unusual spices on it.  The meatballs had some sort of coating and the shrimp were overly "spiced" with something I couldn't identify.  The spinikopika (stuffed grape leaves) were soggy and "spaghetti" type noodles were used in the pastichio (lasagna) instead of using regular lasagna noodles.  The tsadzacki sauce (cucumber & sour cream) was great and so was the humas and flat bread.  (Some of the spellings are off a little)  I didn't have to pay for it.   I am always grateful when I get to go out and try different food, even though it doesn't sound like it.

New Years is coming up and I am supposed to work.  I have been in bed for 4 days, so I don't know what will happen.  I hope I can make it to work the next few days.  I'm thinking it's a good thing I have handed in my resignation.  I HAVE applied for a PT job there, but who knows about that.  Life is a hoot, right??

A NEW ERA

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who had a dream-to work at the most magical place on earth.  The last five years that dream has been fulfilled and it has been an experience-interesting if not enjoyable.  I have given my resignation letter and as of right now, January 30, 2010, I will no longer work for "the mouse."  I have mixed emotions - sad but at the same time, excited.

I have given this change much prayer and considerations for the last few months.  There are VARIED reasons for the decision; too numerous and personal to mention at this time.  (Who knows-they may show up in a note at a later time).

Your prayers would be appreciated.  I can hardly wait to see what God has in store.

Boycott or just tired?

Not giving gifts for Christmas is probably unconstitutional or at best, un-American but I'm not doing it. There are several reasons for this decision.

First of all, we all have too much "stuff."  Secondly, I couldn't think of a reason why we were giving gifts. After all, it's Jesus' birthday, not ours.  Thirdly, I just don't have the money this year that I have had in previous years.  I have notified all who are involved and not received any responses.  I don't know if they don't believe me, or just ignoring me. IF I do anything at all, I will donate money in their name to Habitat for Humanity, a favorite charity of mine.  It just depends on what resources present themselves.

My sister sent Wiener some small stuffed toys, which have turned out to be a big hit with the dog.  Flea and Tick are their names and they are small, stuffed, figures that she carries around in her mouth.  When the tag hangs out of her mouth, she looks "slightly" mentally challenged and is so funny to watch.

Here is a picture of Wiener bitting Flea while she is on the couch.  Her blue blankie is beside her, just in case she gets too cold.  She also has the remote close by to keep track of Animal Planet and the soaps.

Actually, Ween has fallen in love with the tree skirt, which is silky on one side and velvet on the other.  She is using this as a cover.  So, naturally, we have been unable to put it around the tree.  She also "derailed" the new train Bob purchased because it was in her way of getting to the windows in the doors that lead to the porch.  (She is really getting to be a brat.)

Joey (Edward's Dog) is coming for Christmas.  This is always a challenge as Wiener takes away his toys and food; hides the toys and eats his food.  He is part Golden Retriever and Chow and he just lets her get away with it.  Maybe I should talk with Joey about this.  After all, he is 3x her size, and outweighs her by probably at least 50 lbs.  I'll let Edward.  After all, he is Joey's father.

Sometimes I don't understand

One of my close relatives sent me this picture.  The caption was-"Saw this and thought of you."  I don't always have to understand, do I?  And, I might not WANT to understand.  So, enough said.

I performed my first time for candlelight last night.  I had forgotten how "grueling" it can be.  It was warm, even before we were under the lights, and it only got hotter.  I think I know how a water falls feels with all that sweat running down my back.

Isabella Rosselini was the reader.  She was pretty when she was younger, but now she is beautiful; flawless skin.  I was directly behind her.  She did a fantastic job reading also.  Rick directed and even though he is a little slower than Dr John, I think it went well.

After I came home, I began working on the decorations again; wanted some water; went to the garage to get a bottle and dropped a soda can on my foot-lacerated and broke my big toe on my right foot.  I am so glad it didn't happen BEFORE I sang.  Went to my dr today; "keep open until going to bed; cover with antibiotic cream and gauze; keep elevated; taped to other toe" (not much to do with toes.)  I had a lot of pain today; took Aleve and most of it went away.  Since I sit during my job, if I can drive to work, carefully, and keep it elevated,  I "SHOULD" be okay.  My life is NEVER, EVER, boring.

WHEN I WIN THE LOTTERY...

It  IS  going to happen.  It's just a matter of time.  Preparation needs to be done so I won't be caught in the "lurch" so to speak.  I'm counting on it being for Christmas this year; ASAP would be nice.

Arriving in Tallahassee late on Sunday, or early Monday, a hotel room is a necessity.  Taking the ticket to the office the next business day and receiving the check, we will go to Bank of America and establish an account.  First and foremost are the cashier checks - One to Metro and one to SI's church. (10% to both) The personalized checks are next - Immediate Family - C, T, E, J/B, SJ, B, (Mock), and me;  Isham; Additional Family is next - Meltons-W/N, N, C, BJ, R; M;  Jones- A, T;  Griffin-L, C/A, C.  Groups-Habitat for Humanity, Salvation Army, Pay It Forward, and Heart to Heart all have designated amounts. Close Friends - VH; KD; D/HS, M, A; Sayre; Wendy; (list will grow as needs arise)  Whew!  That is a lot of "thinking" this early. (Control Issues again)


I'm sitting beside the lit tree with dancing lights and a few ornaments. Memories are fun, especially of Tom and the boys. I have to smile. It seems faded or oblique at times; and yet, it is so "touchable" too.


Anticipation is revitalizing. I am content with my life at this point in time, for the most part. A few things are about to change - I can feel it. GOD IS UP TO SOMETHING and that is exciting. I like to stand back and watch how He works. It is amazing, yet so simple. Complex, and easy.

My little Wiener has joined me on the couch.  She misses me when I leave the bed.  She has to come find me.  Curled up in her "blankie", warm once more beside "her" provider just as I  like to do with my Provider.  She has been such a boost and example for me.  She is a walking example of how I should look to my Father - Total Trust.  She doesn't have a problem letting me know what she needs and she fully expects me to provide it.  Her look at me says she believes in me and, for the most part, she follows my directions with only an occasional lapse in judgement or distraction to the "bling" that is around her.  


With a gentle tug on her leash, I remind her to stay focused on what she is supposedly doing and her attention is directed once more to important things. Why does she get distracted?  Inquisitive? Exploring? or Just plain deluded?  Can't say for sure.  But she has learned it's best to be beside me and she gets a lot more rewards doing what is on the agenda than what looks more interesting at the time.  (She is barely visible in this picture)


It's a good thing God has more patience with me than I do with her.

WHY?

Someone recently asked me why I write my on-line blog and lay my life out for all to read. In retrospect, I think it's because my life is an open book and so many friends want to know what is happening with me in "O-town."

Today I had lunch with two of my sons, Julie and the girls. It was "someone's" birthday celebration. The Cheesecake Factory was the restaurant de jour. We were supposed to meet at 11:30, I misunderstood and thought 12:30, so we finally ended up there around one o'clock. I'm not usually late for any type of "get together" but I really missed it today. We ate, we celebrated, and we ended up with a piece of "Red Velvet Cheesecake." It was EXTREMELY, over the top sweet, but I drank cappuccino with mine and it wasn't too bad. I could not have eaten a whole piece by myself, but the 5 of us got rid of it easily.

This is a pic of the cake, with a candle.  The group that sang did a nice job and "he" blew out the candle. We're going to see the new 3-D movie tomorrow night. That will be fun too. It's always great with family no matter how many of us get together.

Kinz, who will be 15 soon, scared me when she said she is getting her learner's permit. I hope she is talking about an educational experience and is not talking about her "driving permit." That is really scary. She is not allowed to date until she is at least 27. Her dad is already "accumulating trophies" that he is going to use to make sure the "prospective" date thinks he is an award winning marksman. I said cleaning the shotgun when the date arrives would probably be enough warning. The trophies are a "little over the top," to say the least.

Did you know that the State of FL now allows people to go "on-line" and take the driving test. Part of the over-all experience is being scared to death, shaking, and almost throwing up at the Driver's Department. How can they get a "fully total" experience if they do it on line. It's just NOT RIGHT!!! (my humble opinion) I don't know why they didn't ask me.

WHO KNEW?

Les Parrott's book, "THE CONTROL FREAK", reveals some unique insight into the person who wants to change things. When I was a teacher, back in the ice age, these were great attributes; not so good evidently in personal life, especially right now.

Bob says I am spoiled. That is probably true. Tom pretty much let me handle everything that had to do with home and family. My classroom was basically under my control. As a Team Leader and Facilitator, I had to be in charge of how things went in either situation. I was caregiver for both my parents for many years. When I first started working for the theme park, I was promoted several times and eventually to Asst Manager (Coordinator) and first place for seniority in relation to experience time. Again. I was in charge. So, yes. I guess I've had to be "in charge" most of my life.

Being in charge is not something I sought, but seemed to be what I was supposed to do. Now I have to "undo" or relearn what I've done all my life. Change is not easy or something I especially enjoy, but the book gives two hints as to how to start.

First, COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY DAY. Not especially overwhelming, but a good reminder. Dr Parrott says to actually write down your daily blessings each and every day to "SEE" what God has given us. Secondly, remember the GRACE God has given to us-not just remember it, but pass it on to every person in which I come in contact. Doesn't sound too hard, right? (As Julia Roberts once said in a movie, "We'll See.") {Wiener should be glad I'm practicing Grace}

I can hardly wait to see the experiences today.

First.

1. Family
2. A place to live
3. Friends
. . .

REVELATIONS

Seeing yourself as others see you can be interesting, to say the least. I have collected, over the years, an eclectic group of friends and acquaintances. I am an upfront, honest, detail person so it's not surprising when the people who are closest to me "TELL ME LIKE IT IS" even when I don't really want to hear it.

Spending time this past week with Linda, a friend I hadn't seen in a while, certainly illuminated a few of my "faults" that must be very evident. I was told I was always complaining and had control issues. I guess if enough people tell you about a character flaw, it must be true. I was also told I needed to be "kinder" to my husband. Whew. It was certainly a week-end.

I can't say I like criticism, but I am "reflective" at times. I think it helps to know how others perceive you. NOW. What do I do about it?

Whatever

In visiting my primary-care doctor yesterday, she seemed very happy with "whatever" I'm doing. She is of the opinion that if it makes me feel better-it is okay, and that works for me. My blood work that I had done for her on Monday, was much better than it had been in the last few samples. Cholesterol and triglycerides were both lower than previous results. Which is good.

I like the positive results from all the vitamins and minerals I'm taking. It just seems excessive when I see them all lined up on the counter. I even told her about the acupuncture. She seemed okay with that too. I don't have to go back for four months. That is the longest I have had between visits.

Our trip to GA is getting closer. I'm excited. It's been a while since I've had been on a road trip with "the girls." It's kind of like "Golden Girls" meet Willie Nelson. Emily is arriving in Florida earlier than expected. She had a relative in John's Pass that died this week. and is coming for that service and to help the relatives. Her calling is certainly one of service, especially in instances like that one. She is knowledgeable and compassionate. For anyone who has been through a time like this, a person with all her abilities is definitely needed. We will connect sometime after Sunday or Monday depending on how long she needs to stay there.

Tomorrow night "The family" is supposed to go to "Mickey's Not So Scary" Halloween Party. I took off yesterday because of basically not wanting to work, but ended up needing to be off because of some stomach problems. I'm not completely "healed" or in remission but definitely on my way. I don't know whether I will take off and go to the party, or try to work and leave early. Only time will tell.

It is getting late and I need to go back to bed so that I can get up to take Wiener out. She hasn't showed up yet, but I'm sure she is getting a little chilly by herself and will come hunting me. Bob has today off and is going "car hunting." He has caught the fever from me. He has not driven my car, but he is extremely attached to all the "goodies" that are on it. Whatever he does, will be exactly right for him. He is careful with his money and doesn't spend money he doesn't have. I would like to give him the car for Christmas. Unless God decides to "gift" me with a little extra, it won't happen any time soon. Who knows? God has done stranger things than that, especially for me.

TOTALLY

Here I am again. It's 5 AM and I'm not sleeping. So many things to "MULL" over and so little time during the day. I have an acupuncture appt at 8:30, going to Pasco to pick up a cushion for my denim chair, eat lunch somewhere over there, and hurry back for choir practice at 5:30.

My days are filled with "DOING"-Wiener, grocery shopping, work, and anything else that needs to be done for that day. Each and every day comes and goes and my life is happening. . .What else, I ask God and the voice is silent for now. Sometimes I feel I should be somewhere else, doing something else, but I don't know what. When it's time He will let me know. My impatience sometimes gets in the way and yet-the adventures come and go.

I'm getting ready to go to a conference in GA. I'm reallllllly looking forward to that. Being too close to my life, I some times can't see the forest for the trees, as Tom would say, and with the daily scenarios unfolding I seem to be "floating" through life. I hate that feeling. I call it my "WAITING" periods. That is where I just have to wait until God gets ready to open the doors for my new adventure.

As anyone knows, I don't like to wait and as my relative I can't mention says, "I have control issues." Today is another day to wait, I think. And, as I wait, we'll see what unfolds. It's always" interesting, if not enjoyable."

Wiener is up again. Need to go.

Elusive

Here it is 4 AM again, and I am wide awake wondering what I'm doing up at this hour. Bob just went to work; Wiener is still sleeping (smart dog) and me; I don't know why I am awake. Actually I do. I've had an upset stomach since Friday and had to miss work yesterday. I hate to do that. It makes it so much harder on everyone there, not to mention the fact I don't get paid for being off.

It seems like every time I think I am over this "condition" it comes back and whacks me up the side of the head (so to speak), and I am laid up for several days again. I have taken one of the "blue" pills I used to take to settle my stomach but they make me sleepy so I should doze off some time soon, and they only temporarily stop the condition. It takes at least 3 or 4 days to get my stomach back to "my normal."

I'm also watching another episode of Gilmore Girls. I hate the fact that they are no longer on the regular programming; only in reruns. This episode is about Rory getting involved with Jess. If you are not a "Gilmore" er, then you won't get it, but it is not only funny, but almost my life. If my mother had had money, she would have been Emily Gilmore. Of course, I'm not as cute as Lorelai, nor witty, and I had more than one child and not before I was married, but a lot of the crazy things they do or have happen, parallel my life.

I grew up in a very small town. If something happened during my day, my mother knew about it before I could get home. I read as much as I could; probably escapism. And, I left home as soon as possible; I graduated from high school while Lorelai didn't, etc. I have my "bad boy" in my life now not in high school.

I guess I was MISS GOODY TWO SHOES, or lived in a nunnery (as Bob likes to state) so I didn't do any "wild child" things, but I had several "adventures" in college. OH NO!!!

This note is "OFFICIALLY" over. Wiener just got up and DEMANDS attention, so I have to go. She is sooooo spoiled.

IT TAKES SO LITTLE FOR ME

What most people don't know about me is that it takes so little to make me happy. New car. New house. Lottery. Simple things, but only distractions in the scheme of things.

I'm getting ready to go to a retreat the second week of October. I will be with old friends and surely meet new ones. I am so ready that any higher level of excitement, I'd be illegal in ten states. One of my friends is coming from a "gadzillion" states away just to go with us. She is like a sister to me and I love and appreciate her so much.

This is what life is all about-FRIENDS AND GOOD TIMES. While I DO have a new car, and looking for a new house, and have high hopes of winning the lottery, those would make life a little easier. I can readily do without all of that, and still have a wonderful, blessed life, which I do. But do without friends-NO WAY. Thank God I am especially blessed in that area.

Catch Phrases

Many sayings seem to personify the last few years of my life - "And you're telling me this because?...", or "This affects me how?..." and my all-timed favorite "Seemed like a good idea at the time." Why do I use them? Escape? Tap dancing around an issue? Maybe even a way to avoid the truth? I don't know exactly but I couldn't come up with one this week-end at a family gathering.

One member of my family, name which I can't mention, made the statement - "You don't understand. She has "Control Issues." It starting me thinking. Do I really have control issues? To me that is someone who makes sure all events only take place the way they want it to happen. I've asked friends and other relatives if this is me. So far, I haven't had anyone who disagreed with the statement.

Do I do this? Each person I've talked with has been able to cite instances where they think I either "tried" to control or "did" control the situation. In each instance, I couldn't see why they thought I was trying to be in control.

I feel like I don't have ANY control over anything in my life, especially with all that is happening with me now. Maybe I just can't realistically look at me or my life. The statement has really made me rethink a lot of issues. Maybe I don't know me as well as I thought I did.

Ups and Downs

Attitude is everything. I have always believed that and continue to live by that philosophy. I am not responsible for anyone except me. How I respond to daily events and which choices I make definitely seem to move me daily into new paths of interest and experiences.

Supporting the AMA seems to be one of my more reoccurring events lately. This week was no exception. I had to have 6 vials of blood taken, see the dermatologist, and had 5 skin biopsies done. I really need to talk with that Dr about his bedside manner. And, he has absolutely no sense of humor. His statement was, "Well. I guess I don't have to tell you that you have skin cancer." I looked at him and said, "Ah, what?" "Oh." he said. I guess I DO have to tell you."

I also have a small "lump" on the inside of my right hand. I tried to show him that and his comment was "You really need to see a orthopedic guy for that." He said that that type of lump is usually just a type of blister for someone who usually shoots guns or does a lot of gardening. "Which are you?" he asked. I told him I was an undercover agent for the FBI and if I told him anything else I'd have to kill him. (Funny look on his face) His next comment was, "Maybe I should explain what we are doing here." My comment was, "Yeah. Maybe you should." (Results on everything next week.)

That was two or three days this week. But, today was a real upper in that I got a brand, new car. Isn't it beautiful? I consider it a "belated" birthday present for me. MUSTANG, of course. CONVERTIBLE, Duh. I can't wait to "take it on the road." Bob is soooooo jealous that he even talked with our salesman about trading his. I'm expensive, but so worth it.

And, today my son Tom sent me a new picture that is adorable. Guess who it looks like?
She's all ready for winter.

TRUTH OR DARE

Truth seems, at first glance, a mercurial word that can have numerous meanings:

1. the true or actual state of a matter
2. conformity with fact or reality; verity: the truth of a statement.
3. a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like: mathematical truths.
4. the state or character of being true.
5. actuality or actual existence.
6. an obvious or accepted fact; truism; platitude.
7. honesty; integrity; truthfulness.
8. (often initial capital letter) ideal or fundamental reality apart from and transcending perceived experience: the basic truths of life.
9. agreement with a standard or original.
10. accuracy, as of position or adjustment.
11. Archaic. fidelity or constancy.
—Idiom
12. in truth, in reality; in fact; actually: In truth, moral decay hastened the decline of the Roman Empire.

Sometimes, truth can even be "in the eye of the beholder" or on a sliding scale. When it comes right down to it, or as I like to say, THE BOTTOM LINE, you can't skirt issues just because you don't like the results. And, THE TRUTH IS WHAT IT IS.

I like honesty. I deal with issues better up front and bottom line. Sometimes it's harder; sometimes you have to make difficult choices, but that is just me. I have had to sign DNR papers for my father; I found my husband dead on the floor of our bedroom; I sat beside my mother's bed and heard her when she breathed her last breath.

As I face a new health issue in my life, I am trying to deal with it "HEAD ON" as I have tried to do most of my life. A preliminary diagnosis of Lupus is before me. I am educating myself on this "INTERESTING" word that has appeared in my vocabulary. It is also a mercurial word that is hard to diagnose and even harder to treat. I have chosen to go holistic and organic. I am taking "a kidzillion" types of vitamins, minerals, and remedies to try to help me feel better. For those like I used to be and aren't familiar with the term, it is an autoimmune illness and can be dormant or in remission for a time and then return with a vengeance. I believe I have had it for some time, as I look back over my years of symptoms, and it has gone into remission and then come back periodically, etc. This time it has hit harder than ever before. It takes very little to "wipe me out" physically at this time. I can never depend on what I will have the energy to do. It's hard to plan something and then not be able to do it. When I asked God why, His answer was "WHY NOT?" (I hate it when He's right)

As I dare to forge ahead, I am thankful for friends and family who support me and for all the prayers that surround me. It could be a lot worse diagnosis and I could be all alone. So now I dare to trust God for even more guidance. I dare to live my life to the fullest. I dare to "Live like I am Dying" , as Tim McGraw sings, because even without this diagnosis every day is just a gift from God. That's why it's called the PRESENT.

INTERESTING AND ENJOYABLE

Life is sometimes exciting; sometimes not; but NEVER boring. My first husband Tom NEVER complained and OR had anything bad to say about anyone. I know people have "over used" those sayings, but with him it was true. Ask anyone that knew him. He also coined a phrase so that he did not HAVE TO complain or be negative. I have used many it times

"INTERESTING IF NOT ENJOYABLE."

The events of the last few weeks have been almost too elating and exciting to detail. I have been on a "sabbatical" of sorts-taking a month off from work. If I could have chosen the events, I would have left out all the probing and prodding, especially by Drs, and the crude, chaotic rituals of health care "vampires", intrusive machines (although I am working on a theory of mine for enjoying all this) but I certainly would not have given up all the visitations and individuals that have materialized within my daily on-goings.

Paula, and friends; Ms Soles and family; resting; a different restaurant almost every day; visits to the parks to let people enter; resting; presents; parties to celebrate my birthday; resting; looking at new houses; and today, one last present from Bob - He's taking me to a restaurant at one of the parks that has an anamatronic rat named REMY. Is that totally neat, or what?

All the medical garbage totals up to a "tentative" diagnosis, but that's another blog for another day. In the mean time, I'm basking in the afterglow of all the wonderful friends, relatives and magical events of the past few weeks. If I haven't told you, I am truly blessed.

Bob's Day

Yesterday was Bob's birthday. I promised him a day of anything he wanted to do. We had Breakfast at one of the more "upscale" restaurants on property. He wore his "birthday" button for the first half of the day. Then it "magically" disappeared, and he couldn't seem to find it. (Convenient was it not?)

Next we went to the park closest to the restaurant and saw friends, walked, walked, walked, got back on the monorail, picked up the car from valet (naturally) and went home to meet a friend from Pasco that came over for the day. She and I went to a movie while Bob took a nap. By then, it was time to go to the park where we had dinner reservations at an Italian restaurant. Bob also 'conveniently' found a "cell" (painted cellophane of a character and scene) that he didn't have. He wanted that for his present. This one was $225. (He has expensive tastes.)

We rode 3 rides Vicki had never ridden. (We've seen most everything at all of the parks.) And, ate at a restaurant she had never eaten at where Bob wanted to eat. (I had made reservations last month) and then went to see the "fireworks" they have. We got home about 11.

Evidently I did too much because I was sick this morning and had to cancel a Dr appt. I could hardly move and was nauseated. I have another Dr appt on Monday. We'll see what happens there. I BELIEVE IN SUPPORTING THE AMA.

Wiener has been beside me all day. She seems to sense when I don't feel well and sticks to me like glue. My cousin called and she is in town; 6 people from GA are coming tomorrow and want to get into the park Thurs and Sat. Bob has given them tickets to his park. He is becoming more generous with his tickets. He really has a big heart; he just doesn't want anyone to know. Charles says I'm just too popular. Yeah. That's it.

WHEW!

Because of increasing health problems and lots of "stuff" going on in my life, I have asked for and been granted a "Personal Leave of Absence" from work. During this time, I will be having testing, off and on, on an outpatient basis. I asked for 30 days and my manager has given me 20; more than I expected but less than I wanted. (It's called compromise) I appreciate her understanding and cooperation. She is great to work with and for.

There will be times I cannot immediately answer my phone, so if you can't reach me, just leave a message and I will get back to you when I am able.

Stay tuned for the next great episode.

Life in General

The shift "thingey" is unusual, to say the least. I like sleeping late, but I don't like working that late. Some shifts I have changed with other workers that needed a late day, so that meant that I worked until 11 and had to be back at work around 7:30 am the next day. That is hard for my and "Weens" bodies to get adjusted.
She usually goes to bed with Bob around 7, gets up to greet me when I come home, and goes "potty", eats, and goes to sleep with me when I finally get to bed. It's crazy. She is sleeping at all kinds of weird hours. In fact, these picture show how tired she was the other day. She couldn't decided whether to sleep "On her Mickey pillow" or "Under her Mickey pillow." Decisions are hard.

SHIFT BID

When you are 153 out of 160, there isn't much of a "shift bid." But, theoretically, as a close relative would say, I did my shift bid last week. I still have Sun/Mon off, but I will be on a flex-shift of 1-4 pm; whenever I start I'm off 8 hrs later. I could be off as early as 9 or as late as midnight.

One good point is that I can sleep in. Another one is that Wiener will have 24-7 care. She will love it. Bob and I will wave at each other as we pass in the night or early morning hours. I'll be coming home about the time he goes to work and he will be coming home about the time I have to go to work. And, of course, we don't have the same days off. It will also impact my participation in the Christmas program. I will have this shift for about 6 months unless a shift becomes available and no one else wants it. Oh well. It's only life.

It was a privilege to be able to go to a new resort restaurant on Thursday. I think it might be a little too "limited" for the "usual" palate, but everything was interesting, at least. (The desserts are to die for) And, I had several friends and relatives with me. A good time was had by all.

On Tuesday or Wednesday, I will take a tour of the new resort. One of the advantages of my job is that we get to visit all the new "things" that open so that we are able to answer questions about the areas. I am looking forward to doing that also.

I don't know how my new shift will work out, but it is certainly something new and different. I'll keep you posted.

REALLY TICKED OFF

Dr Andrew has made a pronouncement - Wiener needs to lose weight. SHE IS NOT A HAPPY CAMPER. He also changed her brand of "dog food." (She hates it.) After a week of not eating anything, I called Andrew and he said to put her back on her regular food. Since that little fiasco didn't work, she has gone on a "hunger strike" and has quit eating dog food altogether, or two or three pieces of food per every second or third day. Rather than let her go without food, guess who caved in first. I'll give you a hint - It wasn't Bob. I bought some rotisserie chicken from Publix; separated it into several sets; put it in baggies and threw it in the freezer. I also had some roast beef that was frozen. The only thing she likes better than chicken is . . . you got it, roast beef.

I don't like admitting that a small, feisty, little thing like Wiener is so stubborn that I would give in first, but I couldn't stand seeing her NOT eat. Her stomach would make all sorts of rolling and grumbling sounds. She has this very pitiful look that almost makes you cry when you see her. I call that her "squinty-eyed" look. She squints at you, as if she is trying to find out just what you are thinking and then opens up those "brown-black" little marbles and looks so TOTALLY innocent and can't even imagine why you would be upset with her; throws herself on the floor and shows her stomach to you so that you can rub her tummy. She is such a brat. But, a cute one isn't she? even if she is looking more like a bratwurst than a wiener. The real question is - Is she sitting or standing? It's really hard to tell.

Davy has still got it.

One of my perks, is being able to have "ring-side" seats to concerts. At the Davy Jones concert in one of the parks, I was up close and personal or he was. We also went to another concert with the Turtles, but I haven't down loaded the pics yet.

Work is really crazy. We're probably one of the few departments on property that have overtime. I've already told friends there that if I EVER say yes to any more over time to just smack me up the side of the head. On Friday, I worked over and after 3pm, everything just went DOWN HILL with the calls. My last call ended with a man wanting to talk with a manager who could guarantee the temperature of the swimming pool because I couldn't guarantee it. (I really DO like my job though most of the time. I was just tired.)

I took off today because I didn't feel well. It was a (blustery day) yucky, windy, rainy day and even though this job is inside, I still was glad I was home and not out in it.

Bob took off some vacation days, but picked up 8 hrs at one of the parks to cover his "Seasonal" status. He's probably not happy it was so rainy. Although he is usually under cover, the wind has been so strong that he probably got quite wet even with a poncho. And, a person I'm not supposed to write about will be gone next week to GMA awards. I asked if he needed help. He assured me he didn't.

Spent the day yesterday with a friend that had surgery. He is in some kind of pain today. Men are such wimps. It's a good thing they weren't designated to have babies. And yet, if they were, the population would be less than half of what it is not. So, that could be one method of birth control. I think I'll suggest that for the next time God creates something.

WIENER OR ME?

Analogies have never been easy for me. I used them when I taught in 5th grade, but I had the answer book to check the real meanings so I would be able to use them in class. I rarely use them in conversation and I certainly don't advocate trying to use them if you don't know their meanings. But comparisons I can and do use, especially when I am trying to move to another level of learning.

Yesterday I saw my own behavior in Wiener (For the uninformed she is our dachshund) - Not a pretty sight. She is extremely stubborn, self centered or at best self absorbed, unwilling to listen, and manipulative. For some reason, she has decided to pee (at will) on the carpet in our apartment. I have rubbed her nose in it; put her in time out; cut off her rewards; and, spraying the areas with some unpleasantly scented sprays to no avail. She will come in from just being outside, and go on the carpet.

I want to clarify something up front - I DON'T PEE ON THE CARPET!!! But, at times, I can be stubborn, self centered, etc... I still try the same stuff and expect different results - go figure. I'm not totally stupid. I do have an education. I am fairly capable, most of the time. Wiener-like behavior gets me absolutely no where with anyone, especially not with God. And, unlike the aggressive salesmen on TV, true life is absolutely not like Burger King - God does not make deals and I can't have it "MY WAY." And, yet I still try. At times I hate being human.

AS I LOOK BACK

Life is usually "happening" so fast, that I rarely look back and try to analyze events. Within the last few weeks though, my employer has been "reducing" their work force. With having approx. 62,000 people to choose from, it has been chaotic for many people who depend on their designated income for mere existence and have very little left over for any extras in their lives. I have seen close friends and even slight acquaintances fear for their jobs and wonder continually - AM I NEXT? I can only imagine it must be similar to trying to walk on eggs.

I am truly blessed in that I don't "HAVE TO" work but I have felt the "air of fear" within our company and it makes me extremely sad and disappointed in techniques I have seen that are not customarily evident with leaders in the almost 4 years I have been here. This has caused me to take a look back at my experiences there.

So many times in the prior year I tried to change jobs. I probably applied for 30 or 40 positions that I was MORE THAN QUALIFIED FOR and was unable to move. I was more than disappointed and at times even depressed by the fact that I felt unqualified even with all my education and experience. These were emotions that I had not felt in a very long time and it scared me a little. I was able to move to my current position in September and have learned to start appreciating all the information that is necessary to run such a large company. (I had no idea and I have only moved to level 2 of the training.)

What causes me to look back now? All of the above, and probably the impending anniversary of Tom's death. It is unimportant WHY I am examining circumstances, just that God has reminded of each and every position that was previously available. Every one of the positions have either been eliminated or reduced in amount of pay due to the crunch crises that is now happening. ISN'T GOD GOOD. Even when I didn't know, even when I couldn't understand "WHY NOT", even with all the disappointment, God protected me and saved this job I now have just for me.

I am reminded of my experience in Israel where He told me He would take care of me - IF I LET HIM. Many times I have tried to take over and it never works. Why do I keep on trying? I am me, and HE still loves me, gently leads me back, and reminds me of HIS promise once again.

WHY DOES IT SURPRISE ME THAT GOD IS GOOD?

TOTALLY UNCHARACTERISTIC

For a few months, I had decided that my present husband was oblivious to many things that involve me. And, while that might be true, occasionally he actually notices that I am here. February 14 was actually one of those days. I was asked to work over, as we had a few call ins (for whatever reason) and I said yes. I worked 14 hours that day and when I came home I had some cheese and crackers and went to bed. That was about all I could manage at the time. He was already in bed as he has to be at work at 3 most mornings.

The next morning I noticed a dozen roses, a card and a present - all laying on the counter. I must have been more "out of it" than I thought. My present - wrapped in beautiful valentine paper- was a box of Girl Scout Thin Mints. It made me laugh out loud. He is paying more attention than I thought. Who else would have thought to get those for me?

What did I give him? Nothing then, but I took him out to breakfast today and dinner tonight - to places he chose. I think he enjoyed that more than anything else I could have done. He and another relative I know, are very hard to buy for on special occasions. If they want something, they buy it. That leaves me with nothing to buy. I usually end up giving gift cards or checks.

Wiener especially enjoyed the prime rib that was left over from dinner. Prime rib is one of her favorites. (She has a rough life) No cookies for her though. The cookies are definitely mine!

Next year

(Wiener trying to keep warm. She even has her "Tinkerbell" dress on and is still cold)

Almost 40 years ago, we moved to a wonderful area of sunshine and blue skies. Summers were balmy; winters were mild-usually in the 70s. It was great. The weather was unpredictable in that you never knew exactly WHEN it was going to rain-but it never lasted long and most days were beautiful. In fact, the main newspaper in the area gave away free papers when you did not see the sun some time during the day.

The change has been slow, but we now have a few "winter" days of "FREEZING" early morning hours. I actually had "frost" on my windshield yesterday morning. It took several minutes for my heater to melt it so I could see to drive. I have driven to work in 30 degree weather the last 2 mornings.

My hatred of cold weather started at a very early age. I had to walk to school in snow, "uphill both ways" when I was in elementary school. I had to "stand out in the cold" to catch a bus to school in my teens. My bones actually ache when it gets cold. I can NEVER get warm, even when wearing double sweaters, my "Pooh" gloves and jacket, I still ache all over. You can see why I must move from this area. I can't stay here another winter. Yep. I've decided. Soon I'm moving to Florida where it is warm all the time.

Life is so daily

Every day is a new set of discoveries and questions for me.

Question: How can a "Mini dachshund" take over the seating arrangement of a 6 foot long couch? (She can be very "pushy" for such a small creature.)

Discovery: Life sometimes doesn't go EXACTLY as you plan.

Okay, so I never claimed to be smart-just curious. It sometimes takes me longer to figure out things that are obvious to other people. Yet, I sometimes see things differently than other people.

I am on a schedule now that allows me to be off by 3 pm every day, and off on Sunday and Monday. Being the "genius" that I am, I decided to take 2 days off to "take care" of a few things that had transpired in the last few weeks. I'm working on a project for my sister and her granddaughter. I wanted to check out Tom's butterfly garden to see the condition that it is now. I wanted to see friends in Pasco, and I had not had great grouper in many months. I had my 4 days off planned and events scheduled so that I could complete all those activities. ( So much for schedules.)

Sunday, usually my rest day, I "filtered" through "hoards of people" at one of the theme parks to get pictures for one of my projects. I would rather avoid the crowds this time of the year, but a promise is a promise. I actually had fun doing it, even as crowded as it was that day. Let's just say I really know how sardines feel.

Monday I got to go to Pasco with an O-town friend and met another friend that lives there. I accomplished several of my projects. The grouper was all I remembered it was and the laughter was more fun than I had experienced in a very long time. We sat at a restaurant by the beach, ate grouper, shrimp, and a village salad then "waddled" off of the "outside" area of the restaurant over to the beach. It was great. (The top on my convertible was down all day; 82 degrees; Chamber of Commerce day.)

On Tuesday, at 4:30 am, I awoke and saw my husband was still in bed. That, in itself, doesn't seem significant; knowing he usually leaves for work about 3, meant he wasn't going to work on Tuesday. It also meant that he would expect me to spend the day with him, doing things he wanted to do. There went my schedule for Tuesday. I DID convince him to go back to a theme park to have more pictures taken and I even got to eat dinner at one of the signature restaurants. So, not too bad.

Tuesday night, relatives called and asked if I could get them into the park on Wednesday about 10:00 AM; another schedule change. I had already decided to have lunch with a friend. She was working so we had to go on her schedule - 11:30. I made it clear I had to leave the park no later than 11 to get to the "appointment" that I "HAD" to keep. They called back later and asked if I could let them in on Thursday instead; weather forecast indicated it was going to rain Wed. I said no that I had to work on Thursday. We kept it on Wednesday.

Between the park and lunch, another schedule was "shot" to pieces. Needless to say, I did not get all my projects completed but that's my life. Changes and projects. If it didn't happen that way, it wouldn't be my life. And then, where would I be?

Today is January 4

Tom would have been 63 today, had he lived. Some times I temporarily forget he's gone and I find myself rushing home to tell him about the day. I can't imagine what my life would have been if he was here; totally different I'm sure.

Someone asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and the only thing I could think of was to have my car washed. I am truly blessed with "things" and have no needs at all, I have great friends, a good job, car, place to live, a little money in the bank and gas in my car. What else could I need?