Ernesto-Best Case Scenario

When I worked in the Florida school system, in my other life, I enjoyed days off due to weather or whatever happened to be the "reason de jour." We didn't have may days off due to hurricanes. The last time was 2 years ago and it wasn't a joyous time then. We had families displaced, children sleeping in cars for lack of housing, and not enough food to go around.

It is different when it is in "your neighborhood." It isn't fun and it's not fun-ny. I'm sure all of Florida residents are breathing better today when we saw Hurricane Ernesto's winds die down and it is being downgraded to a tropical storm. We DO need the rain though. We have been in drought conditions for several months. So, once again, God knows best and has sent the rain we needed and not the stormy winds.

My department is not working today and I WOULD HAVE HAD a day off, but IT IS my day off so, I missed out on that today. But, that's okay. I'm glad to be safe and dry inside my condo. I intend to do "rainy day" activities - eat, read, watch "chick-flick movies", and eat some more. So, all in all, a good day off.




(This is the view from my condo
window. Neat, huh?)

Routine?

There is a lot to be said for routine. I personally believe in it. It is a comfort and a distraction both at the same time. My husband used to say he liked his "rut" and preferred to stay there. I'm beginning to believe he was right.

The trip to Nashville brought back a flood of memories. That was where my "life" began - I went to college there; I met and married my husband of 36 years there - Our life together began there. I expect a funeral to be sad, but it was as if a raw spot in my heart had been opened again. And, I didn't even realize how rough it would be.

I went back to work yesterday and the routine of my work and the connection with the people I've come to love helped to restablize my "now" life. It was a comfort to put on my "work" clothes, boot my computer, and walk out "on stage" to talk with people from all over the world.

At a prescheduled meeting I went to, I got to see many of my "now" colleagues and to touch base with some I had not seen in a while, and that too was a comfort. My job helps me to focus. And, in many ways, it has helped to recenter me and "create" a new life.

I have the best of both worlds though. I still get to see old friends from my "former" life and that is tremendous, but I also have made new friends that I can fraternize with, even after work. One of my newer (not a work person) friends is having a birthday party on Sunday.

It is important for me to be there. I don't mean entirely for him, because he will have a "gadzillion" people there as he is such a special guy. It is important for me to see him and wish him well. I need the connection and the party atmosphere. Also, his sister is a tremendous cook. At this time, I can only dream of all she will have prepared for her "baby" brother's celebration. Need I say more? I think NOT!

NEW DAY/PREVIOUS PROBLEMS

My nephew Chris called yesterday to say that my father-in-law had died. He was approximately 85 and had been in a nursing home for a few years. My youngest son and I are leaving tomorrow for Nashville to support my sister-in-law and family.

I can't even verbally express all the emotions that are swirling in me. In a lot of ways, this is an ending to a life that I didn't know very well, but was introduced to through his son. In other ways, this brings back all the old emotions that I thought I had dealt with when my husband died.

How we deal with death is different for us all. I readily admit that I don't deal well. My "daughter" Julie texted me at the same time I was texting her - her brother-in-law dropped death of an apparent heart attack. She left for Atlanta about the time Charles was making arrangements for us to go to Nashville. She too is dealing with all the emotions loss brings.

I love my sister-in-law and family. She was so there for me when Tom died. I could never express how much she helped me and bolstered me at that time. I don't know exactly what I can do to help her now. I only know I HAVE to be there. The only thing I can really do is pray; pray for both families; pray for guidance; pray for wisdom. And, if you read this and you would feel inclined, you could remember all of us during this time. We would certainly appreciate it.

Is Today Only Wednesday?

Today was supposed to be a busy day. Instead, I got to rest and watch TV. It was "interesting, if not enjoyable." I didn't know there were so many inane shows. I rarely get to see programming during the day any more. It's probably because I am usually at work most days. I am suddenly very happy about missing it.

My friend Vicki called this morning. She always provides a smile for my day. We have been friends for probably 10-15 years and our lives parallel in many ways. She has 2 daughters-I have 2 sons; her daughters are about the same age as my sons; she's married to a "somewhat" quiet guy-I was too; she loves her family-so do I; she lets me "crash" @ her house when I need to be in that area, and visa versa; we use to go to the same church when I lived on the other side of the state, and she accepts me just the way I am. Man! THAT IS A FRIEND.

She is in the process of quitting her part-time job to become a full-time grandma. She has been getting her 2 grandsons off to school every school day for a year or so, and now that her youngest daughter is about to have a child, she will be taking care of ALL four children (she has inherited a child from her daughter's boyfriend that she now also drops off to school.)

She is amazing to me. She always has everything under control; she's a good cook; allows her husband to be head of the family; works outside the home; travels back and forth to Orlando when her parents call, and still has time to be a friend when I need her. I have learned a lot from her - All good!

Sunday Again?

Today is Sunday and I chose NOT to go to church today. I do not do that lightly, or without the "churning" emotional years of guilt-ridden "parenting" from my mother. I was "programmed" from birth to ALWAYS go to church, especially on Sunday morning. It was routine. It was expected. It was even mandatory at times!

For anyone who bothers to keep up with my life, it has been hectic. That seems to be my MO (method of operation) lately. I go from one project and long night to another with little or no relaxation or sleep in between. It's no wonder that I am tired, plus the heat I work in and the extra days I am now doing, I guess it is inevitable. I just don't like feeling tired. (My husband would have said that was a good sign I was fairly normal) But - I don't like missing church.

I am grown; an adult and I CHOOSE to go to church on Sunday mornings. This particular church I am now attending is where I need to be. The staff is caring; people nurturing; varied educational programs ; and, the pastor teaches most every service EXACTLY what I need to have in my life at this time.

YET - I have a pile of laundry that needs to be folded and put away; my bedroom is a shambles and driving me crazy; the sink is full of dirty dishes and here I set with my, what serves as my nightshirt on, watching "Must Love Dogs" for the 49th "gadzillionth" time. I can almost recite the dialog. I just don't want to move.

I seem to need some justification for what I am doing and what I'm not or should be doing. My mind says one thing and my emotions say another. Why can't I just set here and rest? Inbreeding? Training? "My mother's voice?" Who knows. The bottom line is just "I'm tired" and I don't want to do anything else!

Encore

The last few weeks have been hectic, to say the least. I am now working full time and since I left teaching, I really haven't wanted to work this hard, but here I am again, "back in the saddle" so to speak.

One of the perks of my job is being allowed to attend great events that are presented "on property." Thursday night I went to one of those happenings. It was presented by employees - singing, dancing, comedy routines, and those playing instruments in the orchestra all done for the cause of Juvenile Diabetes Research. Even the people who ran the sound equipment volunteered, and of course the venue was free, compliments of our company. It was one of the most outstanding concerts I have been to in a very long time. It was hard to believe that they were NOT professional performers. I am so sorry you missed it. The music of Stephen Schwartz, who was responsible for the music for Pippin, Wicked and many of our own successful animated pictures, was outstanding. Truly a talented, gifted person.

Some would say what I do all day is not working. My older son says I almost have a real job. Be that as it may, I am outside each day for approximately 6 hrs in the blazing FL sun. Temperature index at work yesterday was 106. THAT IS HOT!

Why do I do it? I could probably live on my present retirement income. My younger son takes very good care of me and I suppose I "COULD" take it easy and not work, but what would I do every day?

I could volunteer. I could just work a part-time job. I could even run around and have fun, except most everyone I know is busy working or have prior commitments. So, why not work? And even better, why not enjoy what you do? Not many people can say that. And, the "perks" are UN-BELIEVE-ABLE!

To Do or Not to do

Anyone who knows me, knows there is very little I wouldn't do for my two little "nieces" K and K. They are so wonderful and I love them so much. So when they decided they had a great idea - that was to end the summer hiatus by going to a local theme park (not one of ours) - of course, I knew it was my job to make it happen. (The pictures were taken on several of the rides we experienced)
Several months ago, when we first visited that park, "WE" decided to invest a few more bucks and get a "year pass." Of course, all we had to do this time was drive over there ( for 2 hrs one way) and once more lay out our day's agenda. And, we did!

I needed to be in the 98 degree weather, walking all over, and not resting on my day off. My bathing suit faded on one of my white shirts and my new beige shorts, my clothes were "melted to me" and I drank so much to keep cool that I visited EVERY restroom in the whole park.

Yeah, you're right. We spent the whole day, just the girls and me. I HAD AN AWESOME TIME!!!