The Old Grind

With two days off, I feel like a slug. I haven't been to work in 7 days. SEVEN count them, SEVEN days. The last time I had seven straight days off I was working for the school system and it was Christmas of 2000. (I think)

Today I return to work. Not a heavy schedule, mind you; just 3 hours. Maybe that is good. I don't even know if my mind is still working. I haven't had to think, make decisions, or cook. Wow. That sounds pretty good just thinking about it.

Chicago was "interesting, if not enjoyable." I'm glad I went to Jen's wedding; it was totally awesome. I reunited with old friends. I met some new ones. I was even a tourist, somewhat. And, I totally spent too much money. But, as you know, I have a tendency to do that. Tom was my "string holder." I always compared us to a balloon and the balloon holder; we all know which was which.

I also have processional practice tonight and Friday night. I hope to make both. I was hoping to have a date Friday night, but I can't seem to fit it into the schedule. Oh well. It's only my life. And, as everyone knows, change is the one dependable thing in life, except for death.

More Chicago

Up Michigan Ave












Out our hotel window

Out a window at Sear Tower - Zero Visability.

I am so glad to be back in Florida. I got in my car today, put the top down, and "basked" in the sunshine.

WAHOO! I LOVE FLORIDA!!!

THE Event

Once again, while attending a wedding I am "led back" to my own weddings to face reality. This one was no exception.

It was raining. I got totally soaked from waist to foot. Before I left the hotel, I looked presentable. After that, all bets were off.

(The bride "to be" at the rehearsal dinner)

The chapel was small, but tastefully decorated. Most everyone was in black/white or shades and combinations of it. No oranges, no reds, not even "perky purple." It is Chicago in Sept. White was only present as accents.

I got to see old friends and make new ones. A couple I was reacquainted with I had not seen in 6 years. Such a long time especially when you think they only live less than 5 miles from us. Shameful. I hope to correct that when we return home.

The wedding coordinator was buzzing around; the flower girl was the usual cute little relative that "did her thing" and then tried to remove the pins holding her hair that was put up in curls. The reception, held at Maggianos, was more food and booze than I had seen for a long time. And, for all intents and purposes, a good time was had by all.

(The cake BEFORE)

Weddings make me nostalgic. My mind immediately goes back to my own. My first one (most everyone knows Tom and I were married twice) was simple; more so than this one. We didn't have a lot of money, neither did my parents. We didn't go to Hawaii for several weeks. We went to the "Smokies" for two days. Yet, I remember the day as if it was yesterday instead of 40 years ago. Maybe I reminisce because of the rain, because it was a similar night weather wise. Or, maybe the chapel setting, similar to ours. I don't know exactly, but I could see Tom at the altar instead of D. I could see Dr. Martin, instead of the pastor who was really there and I could hear me promising to "have and to hold, etc." instead of this young bride.

What did I promise? "til death do us part?" What does that really mean? Did I know how it would end? Not in my wildest dreams. I think a country western song says it best, "I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." And, when you get right down to it, "the dance" was way more than I could have hoped.

Downtown

Last night Carmen gave us a tour of downtown Chicago. She could be a taxi driving, extremely informational tour guide. She was awesome. She was in Florida for a while working with my son and they have stayed in touch over the years. Good thing. She was so good that I felt brave enough to "take on Chicago" by myself. And, I didn't do such a bad job because of her.

(This is Charles, Carmen and me @ Cheesecake Factory in Oak Brook after our tour of downtown.)

Charles let me out on North Michigan and I was to walk south about 30 blocks back to the Art Institute while he was in a business luncheon and meeting. There were so many things to look at between the two areas that I only made it back to the Tribune building, which is about 20 blocks.

I shopped. I took pictures. I ate a Chicago hotdog. I drank cappucino @ one of the "gadzillion" Starbucks that was available. And, then I shopped some more. I spent entirely too much money, but a lot of it is "return gifts" for friends and Christmas presents.

Downtown was a lot easier to manipulate than getting across 22nd Street here in Oak Brook. I really did feel like a tourist though.


(This is on the Interstate on the way to downtown)




Of course I had to visit the Apple store. Great 2nd story window showing out.

















This is the 8th floor Mall Area of Chicago Place, where I had my Chicago hotdog. There is also a "Chicago" store for souvenirs of Chicago and, of course, I "HAD" to shop for 'necessary things'.

The views out the windows were great.

This is a view off of one of the downtown bridges.

One of the "disadvantages"of touring is that it is also tiring. By the time I met up with Charles, I was pooped. And, we were to meet Kenny and Art about 6:15; not much time. We decided to return to the hotel. I quickly fell asleep. So much for museums today.

The Windy City

We made it to Chicago.

This is my view, AGAIN. Why is it that every time I go somewhere, this is my view for an elongated period of time. This is probably my lot, but here it is again.

This picture is looking out the plane window leaving Orlando. It was a beautiful sunrise, even through the raindrops.

It was 47 degrees when we arrived in the Windy City. I thought the pilot meant Celsius, but found out, too late, I might add, he meant Fahrenheit. I wanted to stay on the plane and return to Orlando, but they were going on to Vegas. That would have been okay.

I am freezing my "tocus" off. While my tocus can use reducing, I am also turning blue, which isn't very flattering.

I am so glad that I brought my leather coat with me. I reached in my pocket to get my beautiful, black, leather gloves, which match my black, leather coat so nicely, and pulled out my purple wool "Pooh" gloves. Not the same impact of course, but they ARE keeping my hands warm. (I cannot be cool all the time now can I?)

(Chicago from the airplane)

I need someone to play with. Charles is "schmoozing" in lunches and dinners and I am "whining" about the cold and lack of someone else with which to enjoy the town. It is so much harder to whine when there is no one to listen. I texted "S", a former friend, and she had absolutely NO sympathy at all. "Tough love, Baby!" (She is just right down mean!)

I think I will take "S" a souvenir of Chicago; maybe a stale pizza. She will be so grateful that I thought of her.

Wahoo!

It was crunch time. I had 2 hours on Monday before I had to go to work and I "DEDICATED" that time to hunting an outfit. I have always had good luck at Dillards so I headed there. I met this lovely lady named Carmen. I told her "alllllll" about my dilemma and she listened with what seemed all sincerity. And then said, "I think I can help you." I was her slave forever, or at least until I got out of the store.

She took me over to the "fru fru" area and showed me all kinds of outfits that had ruffles, etc. I looked at her and mustered up all my strength and said, "Aaah. Those are just NOT me. I'm not fru fru. I'm more of a pants person." She didn't bat an eyelash. "Okay then. Let's go over here." She took me to another section that had gaucho-type outfits. She showed me one that had flared pants made out of a a "silky" type material and a lacy top with jacket. The pants were fine, but the top didn't do anything for me. She knocked on the changing room door with another top and jacket and those were perfect; even made out of the same material as the pants. The whole outfit cost under $100 because it was on sale. (Isn't God good?)

The only thing wrong with the outfit was that the sleeves were too long. I rushed to the cleaners and begged, promised the moon, and finally talked the nice lady at the cleaners into hemming the sleeves for me to be ready the next evening. (I am so pitiful when I whine) I was ready to kiss her feet. Charles had to pick it up for me because I worked from 7 to 7.

I was up until about 11:00 washing clothes and packing, so when the phone went off at 3 am, I was very annoyed, to say the least. Drinking a Frapacinno and a diet coke didn't give me any energy at all. But I managed, with Charles' help, to make it to the plane, and sit down. I nodded off most of the trip, but couldn't sleep.

We are off on another adventure.

Drama Queen or Princess

I have never thought about myself as being a drama queen, but lately my life has taken on a "persona" all of it's own. Things just seem to happen to me. I'm just standing and watching it go by. Am I being too sensitive? Maybe. But, maybe not.

The latest things are trying to work 75 hrs in one week, and working 14 straight days without a day off. It also seems people are trying to hit my car with their cars. I keep dropping things. I fell asleep during Toby Mac's performance @ NOJ, and last but not least, I CAN'T FIND A DRESS FOR THE WEDDING IN CHICAGO!!! And, I have no time to shop and no days off before I leave.

Am I pitiful or what? The world as I know it is not going to end. I WILL eventually get some sleep. I WILL go to Chicago. I WILL have a great time. The wedding WILL go on as they have planned.

Who could I get to go shopping for me to get an outfit? I need a personal shopper. Are there some listed in the phone book? I don't know, but there should be, especially when I so desperately need one. Am I being too snooty? Am I being too melodramatic? Is it all about me? Yeah. Sometimes it just is.

Dear Tom

Dear Tom:
How are things with you? I miss you terribly and wish you were here. It seems like only yesterday when I last saw you. I'm sorry, but I am starting to forget. The first thing I forgot is your special "smell." It was kind of a sweaty, clammy feeling that you had and you tasted salty when we kissed.

But I DO remember - your beautiful blue, sometimes grayish eyes that twinkled when you smiled, your broken tooth, and the way you peeled apples for me as a snack. I also remember the "through the eyebrows" look you would give me when you were upset with me. Charles has that look. And, he uses it.

He reminds me so much of you - his smile, his broken tooth, his generosity and sense of humor-all your traits. His intelligence and attention to detail is also yours and he blows me away sometimes he is "so" you. He's also gracious, and like you, if he ever gives his heart away, it will be completely.

I still haven't figured out why you loved me. Even when we were @ our worst, you loved and forgave me. How "Christ-like" you were. I learned so much, but I think the most important thing was the unconditional love you always showed.

It will be very hard to find someone that can compare to you, but maybe I need someone NOT like you. I'm not sure where God is leading me, but I know I am lonely. I loved being married, especially being married to you.

I hate dating though. It's kind of a cruel joke to be married and enjoying the experience, and then you die and I'm all alone. So where do I go now? HUH?

I recently met a nice Christian man named Kris. He doesn't make my eyebrows sweat, like Barb says, but neither did you when we first met. He is fun to be with, and he will make a great friend. It is kind of spooky how much we are alike. He even decorated his bathroom in the "beach scene" like I had.

Charles and I are going to Chicago next week for Jennifer's wedding. I am excited about the trip because as you know, I have never visited there. I like traveling with Charles because we always do fun things. With the hours I'm working right now, I can really enjoy the time off. I will have worked 14 or 15 straight days with no days off. (This was supposed to be a part-time job. )

I'm really thankful for my job though. In addition to the money, it allows me to do "other" things; extra things, so I don't really mind even the full time. This is CES time and I have been moving from place to place, but it IS different from my usual work.

Tom III is doing okay, I guess. I rarely see him, but we talk at least once a week. I miss doing breakfast with him and of course, seeing Carson. He changed jobs recently and is working in Tampa for a health care company. He says he likes it and still free-lances, but I don't think he works his own company as much as he was.

They also moved - He and Edward - into a small house, not too far from their old apartment house. He likes St Pete and seems to like his neighborhood. I hope he's happy. In once sense, though, he will never be happy until he surrenders his life to the Lord. I pray someone can reach him with their kind words of guidance. I don't think they go to church anywhere. You know how I always want to "fix" things; one of my many flaws.

I still want to go to school - maybe that will happen - I don't know. Linda is right though, I need to either do it or shut up about it. I still have dreams and aspirations, as you know. I still want God's will. The frustrating part is - I don't know what it is yet. I want to know "the plan." I want to have it mapped out - You know me.

It's really hot here now, but we are heading into fall so we "should" be getting cooler weather soon. At least with this present job, I'm inside most of the time with a/c.

Charles and I are still living in his apartment. I'm "so" wanting to move, even to a rental house, just out of here. We're gone a lot, so it should be ideal but it needs paint, new carpet, etc. - I could go on. But, I like living with Charles. He's easy, but a "slob" - just like you. In so many ways, it's like having you here, but NOT!!!

I find that I am better off NOT "what iffing." Jeff is a nice guy, but God said - ABSOLUTELY NOT! Even if I wanted to have a relationship, Jeff is probably not interested and God is definite. I scare Don. "Little Dan" just likes to talk about his trains, and Mike is no longer in the picture. So, who? And, if not a who, then what? or where?

I like Metro Church. I'm not sure you would like it though - no band or orchestra, but beautiful worship music. It speaks to my heart and so do Dan's sermons. The sermon Sunday was entitled "The Lost Boys." He always has a slant to his way of looking @ scriptures. I am usually convicted and that is not always a bad thing. Dan is usually right on target for me.

You would like Brett and the girls, especially Kayla and Kinzie - They just grab your heart. They have me right where they want me. There isn't much I wouldn't do for them. Brett is like another son and he has music "oozing" out of his pores. And Julie, his wife, is so me, especially when we first got married. But, she IS learning, and she's like a daughter to me. The family is so much fun. I just love them to death and I know you would too, especially the little girls. I'm sorry you didn't get to know them.

I wanted to tell you a few things - I don't know why - I just did. I still love you, honey, with all my heart, and I wish you were here.