ALONE TIME

The mornings are more friendly to me now. When I was younger, just pulling my "over worked" body out of the sack at the crack of noon was a chore.

Now-I'm quite comfortable with the early morning time especially when I am at the beach. The sound of the waves hitting the shore with the reflection of the sun on the water in the wee hours of the morning relax me more than most anything else I know. This has also become the time of day that I have alone; just for me.

I think. I read. I pray. I study. I answer e-mail. I blog. I like it. I become creative, especially after Bob has gone to work. I have never had much "alone" time during my life. Maybe that is why I like it so much now. I don't really understand why.

When else can you dance to music no one else likes or wants to see you do? When else can you bake and eat anything you want, and no one else knows about all that decadent stuff? When else can you cry out to God and no one else hears you or thinks it's you going off the deep end?

It's all good. It's all beneficial. I think I'll keep this "alone" time just for me. Some would call it selfish. I call it self preservation. And, I not only like it-I need it.

Tomorrow

We've made all the preparations; we've jumped through all the hoops for SW; WE are prepared as WE can be; so what's the problem?

Bob is convinced he will die. I am the one with the positive attitude. He is more of the Eeyore type-"Don't bother to put my tail back on; it will just fall off again." (One of Eeyore's famous sayings) That is Bob.

I personally think he will be fine. If for some unforeseen reason a happening does occur, he will certainly come back and say, "See. I told you so." If anyone could do that, he would.

The picture is of Bob on the last day he worked for BB. He is wearing his alligator costume. I think he should have one to wear all the time. (He never likes my "creative" ideas.) Until tomorrow...

Austin

Even in the midst of all the "goings on" with Bob, the hoops he's having to go through with his work place to have his surgery done on Friday, and trying to get to a performance of candlelight, I had scheduled a birthday celebration with MacKenzie. She is TOTALLY not her sister, and the "fru fru" stuff that the younger one does. does not appeal to her at all. But coming out of HOB when we were celebrating 2 other birthdays, Kenzie saw the D Quest sign and said she would like to do that for her birthday. (I had asked both what they wanted to do, and she had not decided until that very moment) Of course I said, "No problem." And then she asked if she could bring a friend. "Absolutely" was my response.

Her celebration had been scheduled weeks in advance, so it was extremely necessary to me to keep that commitment with her. My schedule has been so crazy lately that I never know exactly what "dates" or "happenings" that I can or cannot make, but this was very important to her and also to me.

To tell the truth, DQ is not one of my favorite places. I'm a "curl up by the fire, eating chili on a cold day and reading a book, kind of person. DQ is E X T R E M E L Y noisy (Large Arcade type place) and my ears are always ringing when I leave there, but a promise is a promise. So she came home with me after early service at church, we changed into play clothes, and drove to DTD.

Her "FRIEND" is Austin. You have to know, this is totally new for her. Boys have always had "cooties" and girls do not associate with them except to play baseball, soccer, or whatever time-of-the-year sport it happens to be. So now, we are 13, and we have a "friend" named Austin.

Cute kid. Polite. AND, I got to go to the 5th floor where the food is, read, sip cappuccino, eat lunch, put my feet up and really relax. I was more than happy to have Austin go with us. Kinzie's last statement was very interesting though - "Aunt Sheila, since we had such a good time with Austin, and he was very well behaved, don't you think we need to include him in more of our trips to the parks?" I think Austin will be a nice addition to our soirees.

ORMC

If you have never had any connection with a medical staff where you live, I suggest you get acquainted. Sooner or later you will need to meet someone to deal with health issues. Fortunately for Bob, I am probably a Number one, Grade A, or even AAA expert on the subject of surgery.

Those who know me, know that I am the Surgery Queen. I take the cake when it comes to surgery, or any other clique you want to use to indicate numerous body invasions. In fact, if the truth be known, I probably have only the necessary parts that my body needs to help it function reasonably well. Let's just say, I can't lose any additional parts and live. (Bob is in good hands with me. [Why do I suddenly feel like I am about to hear an Allstate commerical in the background] .)

As you can probably guess, he has to have surgery. I'm told it is no more serious than taking out tonsils, which I had out when I was 7 and I still remember that fiasco. So let's get serious here.

Surgery is Surgery!!! And I don't mind admitting when I am concerned, even if Bob won't. His comment was "I don't want to "stay" in the hospital. People who "stay" in the hospital die." Those are the only type experiences that he has had. Needless to say, he is preparing for his life to end with this surgery.

I don't even pretend to know what God has planned for his life. I barely know day to day what is going on in mine, but I do know - none of us have any guarantees, even for the next few minutes. And, I'm okay with this for me. But he is not for him.

If you are reading this, and you are a praying person, please remember Bob on Friday, November 30; between 6 and 8 am. You know how surgeries go; they never give exact times. And, if God wills, this man that has dropped into my life for this short period of time will continue to be with me a little longer than he thinks. I don't know if that is good or bad for him, but I know it is definitely good for me.

One more time

Here I go again trying to figure out things, but why is it when you think your life is going in one direction and you "have things figured out" there is a drastic 90 degree angle and you go in another direction. Sometimes, it is even a 180.

I went to a "farewell" party for one of my favorite people yesterday. It was back in the other-county life and got to see old friends and met some new ones. There is always good food and great company so we eat too much and laugh a lot, though there could never be too much of that.

My husband was working and couldn't go so I took a male friend that I worked with at the other place here in O-town. He seemed to have a good time, which he usually does most anywhere he goes. He also got to "unload" with me on the way over which seemed to help him too.

Margaret has been a great friend during the time I have known her. She not only gave me a job when I needed it, but she also came over to O-town a few years ago when I had just gotten over pneumonia and helped some other friends buy, deliver, set up, go to storage and get the decorations and actually decorate a Christmas tree for me. (They even returned the boxes to storage.) They knew it meant a lot to me to have it up and it would make me feel better too.

That is the kind of friends I have. And, you know, you can't buy that for any amount. I am truly blessed.

RUTH

Ruth is a long-time friend that I simply adore. She is talented, capable, knowledgeable and has such a sweet spirit. She is the Director of computer programming for a local county library system. I was her oldest daughter's kindergarten teacher and that's how we first met.

I had lunch with her today. Her husband had meetings here this week and whenever we can, we get together either over in her part of the state or here in mine. Our relationship is not hard to define - she's just there for me whenever I need her.

In the last 25-30 years, we have both lost our parents; I've been divorced and remarried the same man-he died about 6 years ago, and now I'm remarried; her girls are grown and married-she's a grandmother; my sons are grown and I've inherited two granddaughters; life has happened.

She has just finished kemo and is getting ready to do radiation. After that, she faces another mastectomy on her other breast and then reconstruction. She is so real and alive it seems almost impossible to believe she would ever not be here for me.

Once again I am face to face with the frailty of this form we call life. I surveyed a family last year that their seven-year old daughter was in remission from a form of leukemia. The little girl was very positive about her condition, all that happened and how much better she felt. As I talked with her, the mother was standing behind her shaking her head "NO." When the little girl stood up, I saw her t shirt. I believe it said it all - "CANCER SUCKS." She's right. It certainly does.