"Start Spreading The News"

Here I am again; traveling. And, like all the times before, this is my view. We're traveling Continental this time, but the view is the same; just the material of the seat in front of me changes. I DID have more room this trip though - 3 across and the middle seat was empty.

It made the ride very pleasant except for the reparte of the pilot and stewardess from "National Lampoon's vacation" on the loudspeaker -

"We're holding"; "No, we're not holding"; "Please fasten your seat belts and put your seat in an upright position for our impending landing." "Ignore that voice; we're in a holding pattern for the next 20 minutes"; "Oh wait, they've changed their minds; we're getting ready to land." "No. We're on hold again." "You can keep all your electronic equipment on." "No. Wait. Please turn off all electronic equipment and place your seats in an upright position." Well, you get the picture. It got a little ridiculous after many indecisions.

This picture is out the window of the airplane. I thought the clouds looked like snow and the wing looks like a shark or dolphin laying sideways. (I've probably had a lack of oxygen or out of body experience.)

We're staying tonight at the Lucerne at 5th/79th. Very nice place; I didn't ask why but tomorrow we move to the Palace. Tonight we have tickets to see Xanadu. Can't wait.

Tomorrow is brunch at Balthazar - supposedly "THE" place to brunch. I'll have to skip Brooklyn Tabernacle visit this trip; can't do everything I want to do; too much to do; so little time.

The trip from the Newark airport was 2 hrs-through the Lincoln Tunnel. [I think we were actually in Mississippi for a while, but who knows.] It took 45 minutes - It is 8,216 feet long (I looked it up) and we inched along so slowly the driver could moonlight as a turtle.

What is with the fire extinguisher's every so many feet? That can't be a good sign. Makes me want to go "Hmmm."

Another odd thing about the tunnel - There was an American flag hung from the front of the entrance and it had systematic rows of half-moon shaped holes in the flag. I don't know what that was all about. If anyone who reads this knows, please let me know.

I got a great view of the Weehaucken Public Library which is shaped like a chalet from the Swiss Alps. I could have actually checked out books it took so long to get past it.

Taking the cab back from uptown was an experience in itself. I have been in many "interesting" cities and had many "different" drivers, but this driver either has a death wish or he is the last living kamikaze pilot who found himself without a job and migrated to NY just because...

I called Kim and asked her - "Do you know where I am and what I'm doing?" She said - "Yes I do. You are sitting in Time Square and drinking a Venti Cappachino from Starbucks." (I hate that she knows me so well) You gotta love a place that has a Starbucks on every corner, any imaginable show you would ever want to see and never seems to close down. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Communication?

It's hard to plan around conflicting schedules, especially when one of the two individuals don't know WHEN they can get off. As I have said many times, my life is not my own, so when my sons gave me a trip to NY for my birthday, it was already scheduled to coincide with the time Charles was to be there. That schedule was out of my hands.

When the women's retreat set their schedule for October, and I asked Bob if he could get off during October, he said "ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is the time they are redoing the train and no one can get off during this time." So, I asked if he minded if I went to the women's retreat in GA. He said no problem; go for it.

And, when Sherry asked when Bob and I could get off because she and her husband wanted to give us a week-end at the beach for a wedding present, the only time that was for sure available was the 12th/13th. I asked Bob if that would be a good time, and AGAIN, he said he couldn't get off during October. I invited 2 friends from Pasco to come over and spend the time with me at the beach.

I've also had some testing scheduled for this month, and, those are basically the reasons why I took off the whole month.

NOW, it seems Bob IS able to take time off. He has, in fact, already scheduled it. Of course, the first few days are during the time I'm in NY; the next times are when I'm in GA; and, of course, the only week-end he has taken off is the 12th/13th.

What now? The events are already set; the times are in place; how do I placate my husband? I think this is one of those "NO WIN" situations.

One more time

Here I am again-3 am and nothing to do; no parties; no playmates; no work to do (that I want to do) so I'm once again writing to "whom it may inform." Some times "in the scheme of things" as my former principal Rich used to say, life doesn't go as you plan. Choices are always interesting no matter how much information we have going into something, it is not always cut and dried how things will go. That is why I have my list of "Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time."

Under this heading goes:
Dance Lessons
Changing Lights Over the Bed (while standing on the bed)
Going back to school
Retiring from Teaching (jury is still out on this one)
Driving alone on a long distance trip with a small baby
Selling my house
Moving to Orlando
Going back to work full time

Just to name a few.

Why I "wax maudlin" during the early morning hours I don't know. Call it what you will or try to analyze it, it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that when I can't sleep, blogging seems to be what I do to while away my time.

And, oh yes, watching the movies that I've taped and haven't seen while I'm blogging. Right now I'm watching "First Daughter" with Mariel Hemingway. She is an FBI agent protecting the President's daughter on an "Outward Bound" trip in the mtns. I've seen it probably 10 times. Funny thing, it ends the same every time. (Go figure)

That leads me to one clear cut revelation - Why do I do the same things over and over the same way, and expect different results? (Joyce Meyer statement) Human nature? My own stupidity? Either could be the truth, or maybe a little of both. Any way you look at it, I'm still up; I'm still tired; and I have 7 more days until I have the month of Oct off. Wahoo!

Auntie Em

For several years I have been able to talk, walk, drive, balance my checkbook, and a lot of other things - all by myself. So I'm glad I am taking the month of October off from work. I will be able to "get myself together", so to speak.

I did not realize how much I used my ATM card until it was gone. I NEVER carry cash. Or at least, I never did until the card went MIA. The very nice lady at the credit union asked, what I thought was a totally interesting question, "Where did you lose your card?" That in itself seems harmless, right? But doesn't it stand to reason, if I knew WHERE my card was lost, I'd go get it and bring it home? I don't know; it must be just me.

The process to getting another card is tantamount to moving to a third world country, buying a national building to tear it down and building a McDonalds, or some such activity. That isn't even counting how long it will take or the mess you go through while you DON'T have a card. I have noticed though that I have more money in my account than I usually do this time of the month. Could it be I can't spend it so easily thus leaving it in the account?

Really, Auntie Em, we truly are not in Kansas anymore!

"Snarf"

My husband is a genius. No. I mean it. He knows so much and is so up to date with current events. The last time I read a newspaper, Gutenberg was setting the type by hand. So when he used the term "Snarf" I should have known better than to bet him it wasn't a real word.

The e-encyclopedia says:
Snarf is:
A character in the cartoon ThunderCats.
Snarf, a character from the animated television series Trollz.
The main character from SnarfQuest, a comic that ran in Dragon Magazine.
SNARF-1 - a fluorescent dye that changes colour with pH
An underground comic from Kitchen Sink Press

Who knew?

My contention is that he used it incorrectly. He said I "snarfed" at him. Nowhere in those explanations does it give a "verb" as an explanation. So, as Charles would say, theoretically, I am right. I guess I still owe him the $10. Oh well. It's only money. And, that leads me to the reality that I have lost my ATM card. That's another blogging altogether.

I've asked "WHY" before

My son and I have a mutual friend - "J", and, he and his family have been on my mind the last few days; maybe because something on the radio reminded me of him, or, maybe because they are visiting O-town this week-end.

He and his young wife have a beautiful little girl that could be a child model if they chose. They are the "picture" of the perfect family. You would never know J has a condition that is affecting his heart muscles. It was first thought to be a slow process that might take years, but is progressing more rapidly than the doctors first anticipated.

Life is so daily - we plan; we go through our daily routines; we try to make a good life for our family; we look to the future. Then something jolts us into the reality that we are actually frail and merely "dust in the wind." And, it scares us.

It would be so easy to once again ask why. But, the real questions is "Why not?" Scriptures say "It rains on the just and the unjust." To me that means, we all live in this world and life happens! Reality is tough!

Bob is So Bob

What made me think I should get married again? Obviously there are times in our lives that go under my favorite heading - "It Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time." And, with all my Christian upbring and training, living together didn't seem to be an option. But marriage?

I think there should be an alternative option to the two obvious ones, which are:

Living Together

Marriage

Could there possibly be an arrangement where you could live together, in the same place, with all the "options" except the bedroom part, and learn about each other BEFORE the wedding. Is this possible?

This man I've married is an enigma to me. He is different from anyone I've ever known. He likes things that are foreign to me. He has memories that I haven't even read about. He knows things I don't know. He's exerienced so much. Why does that bother me?

Probably the most enlightening thing to me is that there must be so many people, just like Bob, who know absolutely NOTHING about the love and mercy of God; Who have never experienced the cleansing forgiveness of a power so great that can reach down just to lift me up; who loves me unconditionally; who knows me and still loves me, and best of all, sent His only Son, whom He loved, to die JUST FOR ME.

I am such a poor example of what I should be.

Today is Today

As I sit here, at home, trying to rest, so many thoughts run through my head-Where am I going in life? Why am I taking the whole month of October off? Why am I so tired? Who put that glass on the table without a coaster? - very important issues, right? Okay, some are not so important but issues just the same.

I have almost filled the whole month with activities; some are passive; some active. I'm going to NY with Charles; a week-end at Daytona; a 4-day retreat in GA; and sandwiched somewhere in between all that are two very special birthdays - MacKayla and Charles'. For MacKayla something pink is always good; for Charles-who knows? What do you get someone who can buy anything he wants? And, usually does.

My sons Tom and Edward just returned from Seattle. They want to move out to the other coast, but have only visited thus far, as far as I know.

I don't know when my sons started making their own decisions. I "think" it happened some time between diapers and college, but I can't be any more exacting. Edward and Bret, of course, are adopted so I can't know with them due to age and proximity, but I can't be any closer with Tom or Charles, and I was right there.

Wow. I sound really philosophical, don't I? Enough of that. Life is too short to get too esoteric or maudlin, so I will start watching "Gilmore Girls" and veg out. Both are something that I can do very well and not even have to do any thinking. It's all good.

Training?

My husband has a few really annoying habits. He knows they annoy me and he still does them. Is my job to retrain him to correct his habits? I'm not exactly sure.

One thing is if he is watching TV and I get ready to go to bed, I go over to him, kiss him good night and tell him I'm going to bed. Considerate, right? RIGHT! He, on the other hand, just gets up and goes to the bathroom and then goes to bed. No notice. No kiss. No nothing. And that is just plain rude, not to mention annoying.

There is a "hallway" leading to the bedrooms from the bathrooms, and I don't know he's doing this. So, when he went to the bathroom tonight, I was supposed to know he was going to bed? When I finally realized what he had done, I "marched" right into the bedroom, flipped on the light and said, "That was really rude!" I can't believe you do this to me." His response was, "You knew I was going to bed." "And, HOW was I supposed to know this?" "You know me well enough to know where I was going." How's that for logic? I am NOT psychic nor do I have a "board" to figure out the future. But I'm expected to do that?

I really do love this man, but after the week I have had at work, I'm not sure I want to try to figure out what he is thinking. And yet...

Another annoying habit is playing the television 20-30 decibels louder than a small tornado inside our apartment. I am NOT going deaf, but he has to be. Or maybe it's just his way of avoiding listening to me. Hmmmm.

I was married before to a passive aggressor or someone who disagreed with me, but would never make a fuss about it, or let me know he was upset, and then go and do whatever he wanted to do anyway. Bob on the other hand is what "I call" a "conditioner." He uses ways of trying to get me to do what he wants by not talking to me or what I call - the silent treatment. Then when he thinks I have had enough "time out" he will talk with me again and act like nothing is wrong and he proceeds to do whatever HE wants to do; the way HE wants to do it.

Behavior patterns are learned and conditioning is only another way to try to control another individual. I know that but tell me this - Why am I drawn to controlling men? I can't say for sure but it could do with the fact that I was never in control of anything throughout my life. I came close when we had children, but even they had their own way of doing things. And, in the classroom I was supposed to be in control. But, those are different issues all together.

Control is a funny thing. I had real insight into this once. It is really only an illusion that some people have in that they THINK they are actually running their own lives and making things happen within their realm of lifestyle. What they don't know is that God is really in control and with very little effort on His part, He can totally shake up our lives so we wouldn't even recognize them. Believe me - Been there; Had that happen.

On the other hand, I have to give them credit for their direction or slant on life. With that in mind, I must jump to this one question - What would Freud do? Actually, I think it is time for me to go to bed. This is way too much thinking for this late at night.

I hate halloween

When Charles was 4, my sister, who is the "artsy" one in the family, sent both my sons wonderful costumes to wear to "trick or treat." After weeks of anticipation, it was time to get ready. We spent 2 hours selecting the "perfect" candy to hand out before/after we went out. We had to find the most appropriate "makeup" to use along with the perfect disguises. We raced home from school/work so we could be ready on time; gobbled some sort of dinner; spent over an hour getting dressed, left "Dad" to hand out candy while we canvased the apartment complex, and we were off.

The very first door was "Chocolate Heaven." The proprietor was dressed to the "hilt" and played the hostess like a veteran, handed us way too much candy, AND THEN, the door closed...

While we were walking down the stairs from that very first place, Charles, my wonderful, pragmatic, analytical dressed up son looked up at me and said, "Do we have to do this any more?" He was over it. And that, as they say, was the sum total of all our trick or treating experiences!

When I was in my previous lifetime avocation, teaching, Halloween seemed to be a signal for "Lets back the dump truck up to our front door, deposit all the spoils of all the hours of roaming the neighborhood for the evening and let my otherwise fairly sedate off springs eat all the specialized junk food stuff they can possibly consume over and over during the next few weeks without any consideration to the end results." (This is my interpretation.) When I returned to school each year after the summer hiatus, the first thing I always did was to fill out a request form to be off on October 31, which pretty much guaranteed me the day.

This year October has a little different meaning - I'm going to New York for a few days with Charles, I'm spending 4 days in GA at a retreat, and I truly need an attitude adjustment as far as work is concerned. With all this in mind, it made sense to me to take the month of October off. And... It's been approved.

I have never done this before and I can't really say any one reason I am doing it now except I just want to. And, with all of this in mind, I am sooooo looking forward to October this year, which is totally different for me.

Been There; Done That

Yesterday I attended a lovely wedding in a local church. It was very interesting. I forget from time to time the extent of the ceremonies and festivities involved in a church wedding. I couldn't help comparing their wedding with my own just 6 short months ago and then quickly going back to my first wedding in 1967.

My mind can skip from one place to another as quickly as the snap of a finger. I wondered if Diane was as nervous as I was that rainy June night so long ago. I had no apprehensions about the person I was marrying, but I did have lots of questions about me as a wife. I thought I knew that man so well and as the months, slowly at first, rolled into years, I found out Tom WAS the solid, dependable man I first thought he was and became a rock I leaned on for so long.

My new husband is so very different from my first. And, even though I try not to make comparisons, it is almost possible not to do so, especially as I sat there waiting for the ceremony to begin. Bob is a good man, but very much a mystery at times. He keeps so much to himself. I wonder where he goes mentally when he has that "look" in his eyes, or what is going on when he looks at me and doesn't say anything at all, just looks. I ask, but his reply is usually, "Oh nothing."

Diane looked beautiful, of course. Skip looked handsome. Father of the bride looked very distinguished and "cleaned up nice." I work with all of them, and seeing them in "regular people clothes" is always interesting. These are people I have seen outside of work for they are also friends, but being dressed in all the "froo froo" finery, is another issue all together.

Bob worked until after the ceremony, but I had time to come home and get him for the reception. There were other people there from work. They cleaned up nicely too, especially the men who work in engineering. They are usually wearing "overalls", sweaty, and totally different from today. It's good to be in a different scenario and socialize outside of work.

The happy couple leaves today on a cruise. I wish them well. And, here I jump again, what about poor little "Bubba" who is left behind? He will have to suffer staying with Diane's father, who absolutely spoils him rotten. It's a rough life. (Bubba is actually a Yorkie. He just doesn't know he's a "D-O-G.")

Welcome to my world

There are times I wish I could read minds. Today is one of those days. Who is this man I married, and how can I figure him out?

Today is the wedding day of a close friend from work. I asked for this day off in December last year. We knew there would be a lot of people from work who wanted the day off too. I have planned to go ever since they decided to get married. I have had the invitation for weeks and have been in a dilemma over what to wear for months.

Diane's mother died a while ago and I think in the back of her mind, she thought there could possibly, at some future time, be something between her father and me. I love him to death, and even though we have been to lots of events together, the 'spark' just wasn't there to make it more than just friends. She still calls me "Mom" and I am so happy for her, so I DO need to be there.

Bob is working today and he told me he couldn't go. I invited someone else to go with me, and this morning at 5:00 am, Bob said he thought he could make it to the reception. He wants me to come home and pick him up. What to do; what to do?

Sleep is highly overrated

Here I am again at one of the bewitching hours that I sometimes spend after Bob has left for work. This time, I am not entirely at fault.

I had a friend's husband call me last night with a disturbing question - What did I know about his wife's affair? It blew me away. I haven't had a chance to talk with her. I don't know if what he said is true, but does it matter? That is the question that I am now trying to answer.

I have a tendency to be extremely loyal to my friends and she IS a close friend. What should I do? How much do I want to know? Am I in danger from her husband?

I have to talk with my friend. I will try to do this as soon as possible. Today.

TTA

My reminder, who is sitting beside me, is "devasted" that I didn't mention her birthday present for me. It was "supposedly" a life-time supply of orange-flavored tic tacs. Unfortunately, I happen to reallllllllllllly like those little "suckers" so they were gone within 24 hours.

Those who know me, know I "can" be a little compulsive in nature. With that in mind, you will understand when I say that my husband has suggested that I join "TTA" or "Tic Tacs Annymous."

Kimmie is so cute. I really love working with her, but in the future she needs to do a "survey" to find out exactly how long an orange tic tac will last with the average person and multiply it by several million to determine how many will be a life-time supply for me. After all, we are in the business of doing surveys. (I'm calling IT today and have it added to our computers so we can find out exact totals)

Been a while

It HAS been a while since I have added info in my blog, but it is not entirely my fault. First of all, Charles took the laptop to Ireland. I didn't get to go, for which I am still pouting, but I got several consolation prizes - a new "retro" Mickey watch, several t-shirts and some candy. Not bad, but the really best thing he did, since he missed my birthday, was to log in for me to get into the "cast" choir for the Christmas presentation. I had to work and did not have access to a computer that morning, so ALL is forgiven with that one act of kindness on his part. I would have eventually forgiven him anyway, but it's nice he was able help me. {The 'boys' also gave me a trip to NY for October at my "after the fact" celebration.}

For those of you who remember, I was in cast choir last year - totally without a doubt, the highlight of my year. That experience was so amazing that I am excited about this year just thinking of it. Last year, all the alto parts were taken within 1.47 minutes, so you see it was vitally important that I sign in within seconds of it opening up or I wouldn't have been able to do it.

My husband, Bob, is doing well. He is STILL bringing me flowers, at least once a week. And, on the 11th, we celebrated our 5th month of marriage. I can't believe it. Almost half a year has passed and we're still married. (Ha Ha!!! to those who said it wouldn't last.)

Another reason I haven't been writing is that I have been working an enormous amount of hours, which is slowing down now and I am back on a "mostly" regular schedule. Only 40 hours this next week. I won't know how to act. Now if I could get my husband on a 40-hr week, he might get some rest and I might get to see him.

What is with repair people? And, why are we at THEIR mercy? I missed church yesterday, something I don't like to do and try NOT to, but Charles had to have a repairman here and it was the time they gave me. My time is usually more flexible than his, so I usually end up being at the apartment for any necessary deliveries and repairs. Bob asked me what that was going to cost, I said I didn't really care. It was Charles' money. And, while it's not true that I don't care, it IS Charles' money and he wanted it fixed while he was gone, so there you are.

I am at Charles' apartment right now using his desk top, trying to catch up on some mail and duties I have to do on-line. Tomorrow it's back to the "salt mine." I have to "walk around all day, talking to people, and they pay me." It's a rough job, but some one has to do it. Right now, I'm glad it's me.

Batman or Pollyanna?

My husband and I grew up in two entirely different worlds. He refers to his as "Gotham City" and mine as "The Nunnery." He remembers mostly being beaten and told he was "incorrigible." He asks "How was it living in a sheltered, naive, uneventful world?"

While it's true we did have vastly different experiences growing up, I'm not a child any longer and I am responsible for my own attitude and actions. He prefers to "explain" his behavior by looking at his past. I, on the other hand, prefer to believe God is taking care of me and shields me from a lot of things I don't need to experience. You can imagine how this makes for interesting "discussions."

While we grow in our relationship, it is interesting to discover all the differences we have. He isn't a snuggler. I am. He likes to watch car shows on TV; I like movies plus the Gilmores. We both like Law and Order though. He doesn't like to go out to movies very much; I love a good movie (Ratatouille for example). I like to cook at home; he likes to eat out. He likes to watch the evening news; I think it's depressing. And the worse thing of all - He likes the Simpsons. (Yuk)

Some things we DO have in common. We both like Disney. We are both involved in decorating the house, and we both have mustangs. Is this enough to keep us together? We actually do have more than these things, but, as I am learning, this is a man that I am enjoying learning about. I think it's work the effort.

Who invented work?

For the life of me, I can't understand WHY we have to work. I get up very early in the morning, shower, dress, go to the area I am supposed to be, do my thing, come home, eat dinner, yawn, kiss Bob good night, and I go to bed; only to get up the next day and do it all over again. I don't know about you, but repeated behavior without seeing any positive, forward moving results, is just plain dumb to me. So why do it? Habit? Keeps me off the streets and out of the bars? Yes. That is all so true.

Wouldn't it be better if I was paid to stay home? Or, paid to travel sounds much more exciting even. In fact, it sounds so much better that in another few days, I am going to a meeting to find out all the particulars of a new program my 'employer' is instituting where there is definitely a lot of travel.

Maybe that is what I should do. I will at least go to the meeting and see what it is all about. You've heard the old adage, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."

And, I know, I just got married, and have a new husband that I have to consider. I didn't leave him out of the mix. I asked him what he thought. He said, "Whatever you decide, I'll back you." Am I paranoid or did he answer that too quickly?

The Basic Needs of Life

When I was a Kindergarten teacher, the curriculum that was used in the system where I taught, said that there are four basic things we "NEED" in life - food, clothing, shelter, and water. One of my very wise students corrected me in class the day I was teaching that concept and added that we also need another thing - love. She was so right. Without love, we can't even begin to try to grasp the concept of what it means to accept or understand others.

According to Kay Arthur, noted speaker and writer, unconditional love is not often given and is extremely hard to find. I have known "unconditional love" from two living things on this earth - Tom, my first husband, and Carson, our family's beloved pet.

I just had a call from my son and Carson has slipped into the realm we know as death. I can't tell you how much hurt that gives me. Once again, I have to reach out to God for strength to get through this. I can barely see the computer screen as I try to write about feelings that have been with me too many times in the last 7 years.

My dad died in 2000; my husband in 2002, my mother in 2003, and now Carson in 2007. The pain of loss has covered me so intensely that breathing is difficult at times.

As memories crowd in, I especially remember one time Carson was with me soon after I had remodeled my house. Even as a very young puppy, Carson had a habit of taking in a full mouth of dried dog food, running to the living room and depositing it on the carpet just so he could eat one piece at a time. My son said it was because the bowl was always in the kitchen area. In order to eat when Tom had a party, Carson would bring his own food to the "party area" as he was not allowed to have "people food."

Shortly after the removal of carpet and the replacement of tile all over my house, Carson came to visit for a few days. Being a creature of habit, at dinner time, Carson grabbed a large mouthful of dried food, turned around to take it to the carpet, and realized there was no carpet to be seen ANYWHERE. His expression was priceless. It was what I call "The deer in headlights" look, one of panic and wide-eyed discovery. You could almost "hear" the wheels moving to trying to figure out what to do.

After a few seconds of disbelief and indecision, he noticed an area rug in the family room, ran over to it and "spit" the food out. After breathing a few "sighs" of relief, he turned around and looked at me with the expression of "How could you do that to me." I nearly fell down laughing he looked so funny.

Even though I don't feel much like laughing now, I know I will always have a smile when I remember his antics and the expressions of his face. And so, as I end this oh so painful diatribe, I must say I am thankful to have had, at least for a little while, someone who loved me "unconditionally."

Where is Starbucks when I need them?

There are just SOME things I don't understand. Here I am - 3 am and can't sleep. I know it's been only 4 months since I got married, but I have already become accustomed to someone "breathing" beside me. He doesn't snore, per se; just this "breathing" sound; kind of a soft "wheeze" or something like that.

And, not only am I working 60 million hrs for the last few weeks, but now Bob has to work from 12-12 the next two nights/days. What is with that? Don't they know I can't sleep without him beside me? He has become my sleeping metronome, so to speak. I really think his employer could be a "LIT-T-LE" more considerate. Hey! They may not even know they are disrupting my sleep pattern. Maybe I should tell them. (I guess not.)

But that brings me to Starbucks. Why aren't they open all night? I would be willing to bet if they were open, they would have more business than they could handle. People to work? Not a problem. What about all those "night owls" that can't sleep and need employment; not to mention students who only sleep if absolutely forced to do so? I mean, there are all kinds of employment opportunities just waiting for Starbucks to "snatch" them up at a moment's notice. Huh? Huh? (I could be one of their recruiters.)

I really think I get my best ideas this time of day. Don't you? Sometimes I even amaze myself!

Bummed

I just received a notice from Ticketmaster. The Etta James concert that I had tickets for has been cancelled. I can't describe how awful I feel. I have ALWAYS wanted to see her in concert. "House of Blues" at Downtown Disney is small and intimate, and I was really looking forward to this.

I purchased 2 tickets to her concert as a birthday present "from me to me". Bob didn't want to go, so a friend and I planned a "girls night out" with dinner at a local "hot spot", then the concert.

She must have had a good reason. I am so sorry it isn't happening. As my philosophic husband said, "Everything happens for a reason." Yeah. He can say that. It wasn't a big car race for which he had tickets. I think I'll file his comment away for future use. I feel somewhat better already.

My "Four" Sons?

Yesterday was my birthday. I now have 3 ex-sons. Only Bret and Julie are now related to me - they called and even sang Happy Birthday to me so of course they are currently my favorites. Where my other sons were, who knows.

According to Son #2, or the younger son, "I never told him what I wanted to do for my birthday." It couldn't be because he never asked, could it?

I'm certainly glad my husband didn't forget. He went way overboard, though. The first picture is of Lennox china ornaments that I saw when we were on our honeymoon. Mickey and Minnie, of course.

This picture is a beautiful Lennox china tray that I also saw on our honeymoon - The castle at Magic Kingdom surrounded by clouds.

He also got me a Lennox china Pooh, flowers, chocolates, and 2 Remys-The main character from Ratatouille-the new Pixar movie.

This picture is of the my flowers and the Remys. The "Chef" Remy talks. The "Plush" Remy is to snuggle with when Bob isn't here. If you haven't seen the movie, it's worth the time.

I received cards and calls from various friends and that was also nice. I have great friends and really enjoy hearing from them for any reason.

Elizabeth, my friend from Atlanta, is going to one of my favorite places this week-end - Charleston, South Carolina. I love that place and I am "pea green with envy" that she is going and I am not. This working is for the birds. It is really interfering with my personal time.

Bob and I are going to see a presentation of the "Songs of Abba" on Sunday, my only day off this week. I am already so tired that I barely know my name, but next week we start on a new phase of surveys and I will only be facilitating, so I will be able to catch up on my reading while the other people fill out forms. Sounds "cushy" doesn't it? It is, but it is long hours; 10-14 a day.

And, for my present to me - I have tickets to see Etta James in person. I am so excited about that. She is one of my favorite singers and I can hardly wait until next Sat.

Well, you probably know I haven't totally disowned my sons, and I'm sure they have their reasons for not acknowledging my birthday. Bob says I better not put my phone anywhere he can get to it. He's taking this "protecting" things wayyyyyyyyyyyyy too far.

THE Day

There are so many "days" in my life, especially lately, but the next important day is July 12, my birthday. As I look toward that day, I am excited and yet apprehensive. If you remember, last year was the pits - Tom forgot; Edward only remembers when Tom reminds him; Charles was in Hong Kong; Julie and Family cancelled, and I wasn't seriously dating Bob. So, as I look toward this one I wonder - What will the day hold? I know I have to work-we have a team builder meeting; otherwise I know of no other plans.

Gearing up for ...

I love my job. I have said that very few times in my lifetime. Perks are great, most of the work is easy, and fellow employees are awesome, especially Kim. She is young (about 35, I think) perky, capable, a great mom, and many positive attributes. I would love to dislike her, but I can't. She is too sweet. They call us "Frick and Frack" at work, and she compliments my short comings. But I am very concerned about her - she tries to do too much. And, I see a lot of myself in her. Not that I've ever been cute or perky, or any of the characteristics I attribute to her, but work and energy wise I used to be like her. Therein lies my concern.

Burnout is such an overused word, but it is truly a reality and that is my concern for Kimmie. I would love to help her, but I don't know how. She burns the candle at both ends. I see the tired in her eyes and shoulders. And, day to day she "tries" to keep up with everything at work, but she's losing the battle.

I'm off today for the first time in too many days to count, and why am I up at 4:00 am?; partly habit but also that "workaholic" mentality within me. Where does it come from? Probably years of trying to please my mother, or some such "psychological" reason. I don't even try to figure it out any more. Yes. I DO love my job. But I am seriously thinking of quitting and going somewhere else. Would it help? Probably not. Do I want to work? Yes. Do I want to work somewhere else? No. So thus the dilemma. What do I do? I guess just wait and see. For me, that has always been the best policy. Right now-That's all I can do.

Honeymoons Are Interesting

Sometimes taking time off can be relaxing; sometimes not.   As I have said, Bob and I had not had many days off together so when we decided to have almost two weeks off, we both wondered how it would go.

The beginning of the time off was a little shaky, but for the most part it was enjoyable.  We went to one of the on-property hotels and spent 4 days - eating, walking, visiting the parks, and just learning a lot about each other.  

Our time off also coincided with the opening of Pixar's new "Ratatouille" which I was dying to see.  Of course, my new husband took me to see it.  I fell in love with Remy, the lead character.  Little did I know, the character was going to be at MGM on opening day.  Bob took me and I have pictures with Remy.  

My loving husband also bought me 2 stuffed Remys - one is a "plush" if you know what that is, and the other is a talking Remy with a chef hat and spoon.  

This is the "plush".

Isn't he adorable?

One thing is for sure - Not many women can boast of getting a rat on their honeymoon. 

Is being tall important?

What is it about short people and trying to do things they shouldn't? I am not typing very quickly right now due to "slight" injuries-one of my "Seemed like a good idea at the time" ideas.

It was too warm in the bedroom sooooo I decided to turn on the fan over the bed. Little did I know the light would come on with the fan switch. I really didn't want to have the light on, so I figured out that I needed to "unscrew" the light cover and loosen the bulb because the light switch on the fan would not move to turn off the light. (Obviously faulty) Everything was fine until I tried to put the cover "back" on the light. Needless to say, I'm not quite tall enough to do that, easily, while standing on the bed. My weight lowers the bed level. (Who knew?)

So, when Bob came home at midnight, I had blood running down my left arm, black and blue marks on my right arm, scrapes on my leg and a funny colored big toe on my right foot; Not to mention the moaning sounds I was making. The bulb was hanging from the socket by the filament wires. He just started shaking his head in disbelief.

He bandaged my bloody arm, used his pliers to get the broken bulb out of the socket; replaced the bulb and cover and tried to get me to go get xrays of my right arm. He "implied" that he hadn't had that much work to do all night. The theme park had less accidents.

I was in so much pain the next day, I went to a local Centra Care office and had x-rays. Nothing broken, but lots of bruises and pain. I am now in a brace with a "school bus yellow" wrap on it, and I have had two days at work with reduced work strats. (I think it glows in the dark) I dont' even want to go into the teasing I have had when I was asked what happened and I answered "I fell off the bed." Everyone knows I am a newlywed so you can imagine the comments.

It couldn't have happened at a better time, if there could be a good time. I am now officially on a planned vacation for 2 weeks, or more accurately a delayed honeymoon. Bob's birthday party is on Friday and we're spending a few days at the theme parks so I really wouldn't be working anyway. It will certainly be interesting.

Who knew you could use a chair to reach the light? I have married a genius.

OIL AND WATER

Have you ever met someone who you just don't always see eye to eye with, and you are at opposite ends on a lot of issues? Sometimes this is my new husband and me. Sometimes not. I personally like it when it is not, but he seems to "THRIVE" on disagreeing. In fact, he laughs at me when he has me to the point of frustration on any particular item. Is that fair?

He also has a Garfield hand puppet that he compares to me or visa versa. He says I'm a lot like THE cat - short blond "fuzz" for hair, big eyes when I get excited, "princess" mentality - need I go on? He has also "personified" the cat. Of course, the cat always wins. (We're all surprised about that.)

I personally don't see it. I have offered to call his Dr. There has to be medication for him. But the interesting things is, when "I" try to blame the cat, he says it couldn't be possible for the cat to do that (whatever I say about the cat) and yet, I've seen that cat in action. It isn't pretty. Oh no. Now I've started acting like the cat is real. I wonder if there is enough medication for both of us?

This is "THE CAT" watching me work on the computer. I'm not sure whether Bob has a warped sense of humor, or I'm hallucinating. Either way, life is interesting.

Surprise?

Surprises are not always good, but with Bob they are. He bought me two new sets of bookcases, put them together, and had them in place when I got home today. I also had a delivery of a table, mirror and lamp for the alcove of the apartment. He also added me to his AAA motor club because he didn't want me to have car trouble and not have any way to get help. (He continues to take care of me.)

This week has been hard - He's working 3-11, and I haven't seen him for 4 days AND NIGHTS!!! I have already worked 35+ hrs this week and I am only on my 3rd day of work. It's a good things he isn't here, I guess. He works his other job tomorrow and Sat, so he will be home at night. WAHOO!!!

I made reservations at one of the "nice" restaurants on property for tomorrow night. He's never been there, so we'll see. I had one of the managers give me his reservation. He couldn't use it and I happened to mention it was one of my favorites. I can't wait.

Then again, maybe we need to stay home.

Only days

There are only 8 more "working" days until Bob and I actually celebrate our marriage. We were both so busy at the time of the ceremony, that we decided to wait to take time off. On the 21st my time starts and on the the 22nd Bob works his last day for a while.

If you've read my blog, you might remember that Bob has taken off two days 2 times previously, and they were very "eventful" to say the least. The first two days we fought; the second two were part of a week of me with the stomach flu. So, who knows.

I PERSONALLY feel it will be wonderful; Bob is a little more skeptical. I don't know. This marriage thing is certainly different. I spent almost 36 years with one man - We grew up together and we did a lot of things together in those many years.

Bob, on the other hand, is a totally new entity into this mix I call my life. He is totally different than ANYONE I have ever known. And, he has years of experiences with other people I can't even imagine. We both bring all these events to our marriage.

He speaks of things from his experiences, and I haven't any frame of reference. For instance, he was once a stock-car driver and loves racing. I thought Nascar was a type of hybrid vehicle. He talks of shoveling snow and it is a far distant memory for me; He wants melmac, I love crystal; he hates country music and I am just beginning to enjoy it; opera for him is big women screaming at little men-La Boheme is one of my loves.

God certainly has a sense of humor though. Putting us together is tantamount to possibly adding vinegar to soda. But, we DO have a few things in common - we both have mustangs, and we have a strong love for each other. Our life might maybe be described in Disney Terms as "Mr Toad's Wild Ride." But, if you remember - "Mr Toad" has been replaced by Winnie the Pooh. Interesting is it not? And, Oh yes, he just bought me a dozen more roses. He's so sweet.

I Hope This Works

Once again, I've had another brilliant idea-I am trying to arrange a dual "SURPRISE" birthday party for Bret and Bob; their dobs are 5 days apart. I don't think Julie is too excited about it, but I think it will be "interesting", at the least. Since neither Bob nor Bret read my blog, I think I'm safe reporting this.

June 22 starting @ 5ish at the same place as our wedding. For those who read this and know me, you're invited. Call if you need directions.

I am applying for another job - it is a "Dream" job in more ways than one. I went to two leadership meetings yesterday. I'm not much for meetings any more. The Good Lord knows I've been in a "gadzillion" in my lifetime, but these were different and actually enjoyable. The second one was about this new position. It is to make dreams come true. Wow. I've always wanted to do that. Who knows; maybe I can.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Ever have something happen and you just want to ask God, "What were you thinking?" I sometimes feel that God and I are on different pages in the book of my life.

This week I have had many items of interest in my life. I worked approximately 60 hrs; it was my last day at one of the parks-I had been subbing for one of the RSIIs; I had a friend call that I had not heard from nor seen since 1962 and we had lunch; and yesterday Tom and I would have been married 40 years. So many memories are lost within this "gray matter" I sometimes refer to as my brain, yet the emotions of all my life come flooding back at times.

Where I am today is "comfortable" and I feel "blessed" for my life. So why am I mulling over all my past memories?

I am considering changing jobs. It's not that I don't love my job-I do; and the people I work with, but I've done just about everything I can at this level. Either I go higher, as a Manager, or I switch departments.

I don't know about being a Manager. There are many perks "annnnd" many things not so "perky." Do I want to "gear up" to be a Manager? Would they even hire me as one? I don't know.

I have applied for a position as a recruiter for the "The College Program." That sounded interesting. With that, I would be traveling 18-24 weeks a year. Don't get me wrong, I like to travel. Could I travel THAT much? I don't know. Would Bob miss me? Probably not. He's very self sufficient and really doesn't need me much at all. Would I miss him? ABSOLUTELY. We'll see. I am always excited to find out "WHAT GOD WAS THINKING?"

And the winner is?

I guess the diagnosis I received was the best possible scenario - The Dr found 3 areas that are "seeping" blood, but not infected. He said they weren't ulcers, but he couldn't tell what caused the irritation. There was nothing in the colon, not even polyps. All in all, a pretty easy gig. He believes that with prilosec and zantac, that should be enough to help the healing. I'm a little sore today, but I'm glad I took the day off to rest a little more.

Bob stayed with me today. He is worn out. He works 7 days a week; it's too much. I don't know who needed the rest more, me or him. I had my first chocolate today that my hubby bought me. It's dark chocolate and Ghiadelli; mmmmm.

My sister calls me a brat. She might be right, but I'm having fun. I think she might be a "little" jealous, but that's okay. I guess she might have a right to be. All in all, I'm really enjoying this married stuff. And, it's all good.

"THE" Procedure

On Monday, I am having what I lovingly call "ROTO ROOTER." For anyone who has had an endoscopy and colonoscopy at the same time, you definitely know what I am talking about. Those of you who have not, can only imagine.

Bob suggested that they just do one procedure - using an instrument similar to a "bottle brush" and starting at the stop, just move the instrument downward; "Whew" enough said. I don't think that would work, but who knows, it might. My hubby is soooooooo creative. I think I'll leave it up to the dr though.

Speaking of Bob, this wonderful man today bought me 18 roses and some Ghiadelli chocolates. (Picture Included) Why? I don't know. He just did. I can't believe him. I know I don't deserve such lovely presents, but I really like receiving them. He makes me feel so special. I could never explain how much he means to me. It is overwhelming at times. And, "Just in case", as Esther Zissamopoulous used to say, "I fall off the end of the earth on Monday", or some such happening, I want to go on record as saying - I AM BLESSED; far more than I could ever deserve. God is so good; all the time! All the time; God is good. And that concept is even more overwhelming.

Every Event

It seems as if every major "holiday" or event turns out to be a gigantic production in my family, and Mother's Day was no exception.

"The guys" started about two weeks ago wanting to know - "where, when, how many, etc" that we wanted to go to for the event and it went down hill from there. We finally settled, on Sunday morning, for Outback at 1:00. That time was changed with the event of an accident on I-4 (whatever did we do without cell phones) and we finally met about 1:30.

Lunch went well - 3 of my 4 guys were there. Bret and the girls came over Sat night for a cook out as Sunday is a very hard time for him to do anything extra with all his duties at church. Julie was in Atlanta and due back some time yesterday. Happy, Happy all around, but no flowers.

I sound ungrateful, don't I? Well, maybe I am, but I can't remember a Mother's Day without flowers from at least one of my guys. In actuality, it isn't Bob's responsibility to get me flowers for Mother's Day, but I would have taken them from any one. Oh well. Life goes on. I'm not REALLY upset, and, there is always next year. I DID get an itune card and a CD and cards. I am blessed.

Surprised by Love

The amazing thing about life is that it is ever changing. Being in love and remarried is still very new to me.

This man, my new husband, just 2 days short of two months ago, is unbelievable. He has now seen me at my worst, or I hope this is it, and he has made it through. He waited on me hand and foot, "hovered", and when he went to the store to get crackers and ginger ale, he also brought me some lovely "shades of pink" roses. (Picture to the right) He even changed my windshield wipers for me today.

Why does he do this? I guess he really does love me. Wow!

Porcelain is better seen as a figurine

This week has been "interesting, if not enjoyable", as Tom would have said. Saturday I started with a headache and felt nauseated, and it progressed from there. Without the gory details, suffice to say that I have been desperately ill from what I surmise is a stomach flu. It has been a very long time since I have been this sick.

Today I am home with the immense headache it all started with but it is subsiding somewhat for I am able to keep crackers and ginger ale in my stomach, so far this morning. Why is that important in the scheme of things - it is only annoying; another crises averted. And, I am not a good patient, by the way. I prefer for people to leave me alone when I am sick and today, I am alone. Bob has gone back to work.

He took Sunday and Monday off, with the anticipation of us spending some time together. I don't know, it seems as if we are not supposed to be off at the same time, or is it my imagination? The last time he took off, we got into a humongous argument and hardly spoke all week end. (Something stupid, by the way) This time, I got desperately ill. Sounds like a pattern to me.

Now we are planning to be off for about a week and half in June - What then? I dare not think. I just assume it will be a wonderful time of rest and relaxation. Yes. It is true what my son Tom says, "I DO live in Fantasyland in the State of Confusion", and it works for me.

BLACK THURSDAY!!!!!!!

Today is one of the most devastating day of my young life. I can't believe it has finally happened. I have not received such chilling news since my hair dresser moved and left no forwarding address. (It's not true that he changed his vocation to race-car mechanic just rather than to work on my hair again)

My oldest natural son, Tom, just sent me an email and my world has come to a crashing halt - The Gilmore Girls last episode is May 15, FOREVER!!! Awwwwwww. I can't believe it. Where am I to go? What am I to do?

I don't think they understand - Where can I get my "Luke" fix? Where will Kim go to drool over "Logan?" Who will take care of Lorelei? Oh woe is me. I can't imagine where I will go from here.

Organic?

Do you know how hard it is to eat organic? Not to mention the cost? Man!

Since I am having some health issues, one suggestion was to go to organic foods and probiotics for the stomach. Well, I am here to tell you that it is very hard to try to eat all the food necessary during the day not to mention trying to get your lunch ready each morning. I think I must be basically lazy when it comes to prep work. It's just like doing the dishes; you just have to keep doing them over and over. (Boring)

Bob says that he expects me to eat the lawn next, but REALLY the organic food tastes better than the non-organic food. The tomatoes, especially, taste so much better than the regular ones in the store. They actually have a flavor and are so juicy; so are the apples and the veggies not to mention the meats.

Bob doesn't know it but he is eating organic too, that is except when he decides we need to go out to eat. I try to keep it as "free" as possible, but I don't know. Is it doing more damage going back and forth or not?

I can honestly say that I do enjoy fixing all the new foods and trying to cook so that every meal is appetizing and edible. I think I'll probably keep working at it. It really is worth while. Actually, my stomach is in better shape and I'm not quite as tired as I was, so maybe this organic stuff is really the way to go. I guess for now, I'll keep trying. Who knows, I might actually get use to it.

Where are my keys?

Do you know what you need to do when you haven't any way to drive your car? (Don't ask me how I know! ) You have to have your car towed to a dealership (approximately $50.00) they have to "rekey" your car; and THEY charge $100.00 for the privilege of doing so.

Yesterday I had to take Charles' car to work because I had to leave directly after work to pick him up at the airport. He was returning from Nashville and all his luggage won't fit in my car. I really didn't use my car yesterday, but when I went to get something out of my car yesterday evening, I couldn't find my key.

My new husband went into "taking care of the new wife" mode and started suggesting a list of all the things I would need to do, and he would take me to work this morning. He even got out the phone book and checked on which companies had 24 hr services. Bob wasn't going to get off until 7:00pm, and I get off at 4:30, so I called Charles to see if he could bring me home.

I searched high and low and could not find the key. It is very frustrating to me to do something this silly. Recently I have had a very hard time concentrating on some things. Is it age? Is it sensory overload? I don't know, but when something like this happens I find myself stopping almost in mid turn and lifting my heart to the Lord. This is very comforting to me. I love the song "Sometimes He calms the storm and some times He calms His child." I can relate to this.

I told Bob I would put off doing anything until I got home tonight. But, as we pulled into the "Employee Parking Lot" this morning, I knew that my key was there. I don't know how, but my inner voice said, "Go over to where you parked yesterday." That was where I found my key. Why does God take care of me? Because He told me He would take care of me and He always keeps His word. I am so thankful He is dependable.

Carson

Carson is dying. I know; we all are, but if you know anything about me at all, you know my love for him. I went to St Pete to see him yesterday. He is emaciated.

I fixed chicken and brown rice for him. This is probably the easiest thing for a sick dog to eat. I learned that when he was sick right after he moved to Florida many years ago. Thank God, he ate. I couldn't give him very much for he hadn't eaten very much in 3 weeks since his throat surgery. Tom said Carson ate some more before he went to bed, and so far, he has been able to tolerate it.

This first picture was taken several months ago. He weighed about 50 lbs.

The next two pictures are ones I took last night. I don't know how much he weighs now, but it is no where near what he did weigh. He looked so pitiful.

I held him. I petted him and told him how much I loved him.

I know he's getting old, aren't we all? But, I'm not ready for him to leave yet.

Does God care when we hurt? Definitely. Even when a pet is ill or dying? Absolutely!!!

God is still in control. And, as I have often quoted something I once read, "If I believe that God is in control of my life, then I must believe that I am exactly where He wants me to be."

Testing - 1 2

Bob asked me if I got the results of the test they did today. He also asked if they declared me "Normal?"

I have always believed that Normal is highly overrated. And, according to Patsy Clairmont, "Normal is just a setting on the dryer." So, even if I studied all night, I probably wouldn't get the diagnosis of "Normal" on most any test.

After 2 blood tests in 1 week, I just want to know - "What are they doing with all my blood?" I have my suspicions, but this is probably NOT the time or place. Suffice to say, it can't be pretty. But today's test was a bone density test and didn't take long, but just another "thing" to have done.

I am still tired, but I think we are going to try to go to the park today for lunch and the 5:00 performance of the group The Buckinghams. The Flower and Garden Show is now going on and they have Rock and Roll groups singing. Bob has wanted to go all week and he said he didn't want to go without me. (Isn't that sweet?)

For today, I am feeling okay. I'll let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.

Ode to Bob

What you mean to me:

You are my light even before the sunrise

You are my strength when I am weak

You are my vision when selfishness clouds my sight

You are my voice of reason when words get in the way

You bring new meaning to my life

You are my focus

Thank you for loving me.

Only A Month?

Well, I know time flies when you're having fun, but it's been a whole month since we got married, and YES, I did get flowers. They are white roses. Isn't he sweet?

I am so amazed by this man. He does so many things for me and really expects nothing in return.

I've been told it won't last and I've been told it's because we're newlyweds. I don't know. Only time will tell, but I have to hand it to him. He really knows how to make me feel loved.

I got the results of my blood work today. My red cells count is "extremely" low. No wonder I have been so tired. It hasn't been this low for several years, and usually, when the red count goes down, the white count goes up indicating an infection of some sort. Not so this time. I don't know what is going on, but I have to contact my Dr's office tomorrow. Oh well. Just another "thing."

Work is crazy right now. Being Spring Break really has so many people visiting the park, and most of the time that is good. But, it's really been hectic lately. A lot of people are visiting for their first time and as many times as I have been there, it is a foreign idea to me that there are people who have NEVER visited. Maybe I am becoming too complacent or too blase' about being able to come any time I want to visit. I don't think so, especially when I get there early and the fog is lifting and the castle suddenly appears. That to me is so totally "magical."

Busy times

It's been a while since I have entered any information into the blog, but I've been busy. Bob and I are trying to settle into our apartment and we both are still working. He works entirely too much, but we spend as much time as possible together, which are usually Sunday and Monday afternoon, which are traditionally my days off.

Bob went to work, as usual, about 3 am Sunday morning and about 4 am I got up to get a drink in the kitchen and there on the counter was the cutest Easter basket. Here's a picture of it. I have 1 stuffed bunny, 1 bear with bunny ears, 1 chocolate bunny (no ears now), and a little lamb with lots of chocolate candy. (I have almost overdosed on chocolate). I haven't had an Easter basket in many years. It was so sweet of him. (awwww)

We have decided to take a few days off together in about two weeks. It just happens to be the same week-end that a friend's daughter is getting married, so we will definitely have to do some quick foot work to get it in.

Work is certainly interesting lately. My manager, B, is changing parks and we are getting a new manager at MK. I don't know how this is going to play out, but we will see. MK is a very special place. My oldest son Tom, says I live in Fantasyland in the State of Confusion. And, believe it or not, it works for me.

Here is another picture of the latest flowers My Husband has given me. Wow. That sounds really neat, My Husband. I am not entirely use to this. It kind of takes me by surprise at times. And, when someone uses my married name, that is also different for me.

I love being married though, and not just because I get presents, although that is a real perk, but I like having someone to do things with and coming home to, not to mention just someone to talk with about all kinds of issues.

I asked Bob yesterday if he was happy. He said yes, why? (Good answer, Honey) I said I just wondered. He asked if I was happy. And, of course, I said yes. So, we are getting use to each other, likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams, and yes it is different, but for the most part, we are settling into a nice, even pattern for our lives.

God is good; all the time.

Third Anniversary

It's been three whole weeks since we got married. And, it is certainly interesting being a wife again.

This is picture of my flowers Bob brought home today. They are so lovely. In the background you can see part of our living room area. The flowers are on the kitchen counter.

I don't know. This guy is really trying to spoil me, and I like it. I have never had so many wonderful flowers in my whole life. He is definitely my kind of husband.

We are going for a drive in about 30 minutes. He says we need to go out for dinner to a nice restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. I know. This can get a little "mushy" if I let it, so moving right along, today is another beautiful day in Florida. "Chamber of Commerce weather, as I like to put it. It's the kind of day you just want to get in the mustang, put the top down, and take a long, leisurely ride. Hey! I think that is what we are going to do.

Marriage is Totally Neat

I really do like being married. Bob leaves every morning around 3 and kisses me good-bye. I wake up long enough to say "Have a good day, sweetheart" and then I fall back asleep until my alarm goes off at 6. Then I have to get up and get ready to go to WDW. On Friday, I need to be there at 6:45 am because I am "checking out" on my presentation for the Y.E.S. Program (Youth Education Series). I hope I do well. I have to have the first 18 presidents memorized, in order, and be able to pick them out in the H.O.P. display. (I'm working on it) That doesn't even include the other information that I need to know. It's only a 3 hr presentation, but a lot of information. I hope I do well.

When I get home, I usually try to fix Bob some dinner and he eats and goes back to bed. He is working about 12 hrs a day right now due to a project that needs to be finished. I hope this doesn't go on too much longer. He is really tired, and his blood pressure is elevated.

It doesn't sound too exciting, does it? Well, I guess it isn't except we're together in the same place every evening. He is so sweet. And, you know what, I love how he loves me. Little things are so important. He doesn't know how much I appreciate all the things he does. I am so blesssed. I think he feels that way too.

Two week anniversary

This is totally new to me; a man who actually spoils me. I've looked for him all my life, and I love it.

We celebrated our first week anniversary with flowers and dinner at a special restaurant in "O" town. This Sunday, our second week anniversary, we celebrated with more flowers and dinner at another wonderful restaurant. And, tonight he gave me the first movie we saw together - "Happy Feet"; really racy, huh?

He declares up and down he's not a romantic. But, I know different. He is TOTALLY romantic and I love it. (Picture of my flowers)

Different

Marriage is different than being single. Now that in itself doesn't sound very profound. But, you have to remember - I was single for almost 5 years. Even though I lived with my son, Charles, it wasn't like being a couple or having to "report" to him about everything I do. Bob actually wants to be consulted about things. What is with that?

Seriously, I had forgotten that you have to include husbands in decisions, even the small ones. Such as going to a "baby shower" after work or a concert that lasts until the late hours of the night. I know we are to "become one", so to speak, but it's the becoming that is the hard part.

Also, I don't think I get crabby when I am tired, but I could be wrong. It has been "noted" that I could possibly at some time during the day act a little "not" sociable when I am tired. I find that hard to believe because to me, I usually get "quiet" when I am tired, but who's to say the other person is not really correct in their diagnosis. Needless to say, I hope that isn't true.

Something that is also different is "becoming a couple." Now that is a concept that is not totally foreign to me. Tom and I were a couple that did things separately at times, and that was okay. But, Bob doesn't like to do a lot of "apart" things. I think it may be time to define some areas of our experiences. I don't know. This could get interesting.

More pics:

This is my "son" Bret, who has a marvelous voice and sang at our wedding. He is so very talented. I am so blessed to have him in my life.

This is Byron, former pastor and friend from college. He remarried Tom and me about 15 years ago. I promised him this was my last wedding. He just laughed.

A view of the wedding party while the ceremony was taking place. Sara, Bob's Best Person, was included in this shot.

This is the whole "gang" or the wedding party; all family. My babies are in the front. Aren't they cute? Bob and I are in the middle. He's cute too.

To Bob

MY LOVE TODAY ON OUR WEDDING DAY

March 11, 2007

I cannot give you my youth,
For I’m not sure we would have liked each other;
But, I am not that person any more.

I cannot give you my middle years,
As I was busy living my life and raising my family.

But, at this time in our lives,
I offer you

My undivided attention - to concentrate on your needs;
I bring you laughter, for you will need it living with me,
also rest – and help with all your burdens,
and last, but not least, a home to come to at the closing of each day.

I have only loved two men in my life.
When the first one died, I thought my life was over.
It took a lot of prayer, meditation, and time to be able to even breathe again.

I thank God each and every day that He has allowed you to come into my world.

And, now I pledge you my love for the last time in my life.

Wahoo

Well, the wedding was interesting. Tom took over and orchestrated the whole thing. It's a good thing he did, and everything went very well. He also did the music, which was great too. Mary McCormick did the food and Publix did the flowers and cake. Deb and Charles ran around and picked up things, and Deb did some of the flowers too. It was a great time, as far as I was concerned.

Some pics:

This is the cake that Publix made. Bob bought me the topper, which, of course, is Mickey and Minnie.

The display of a copy of our invitation. Mary, the caterer, asked for this to display because she liked the invitation.

This is "one" of the tables that Mary set up with the delicious food that was served.

This is one of my babies - MacKayla. She was one of my flower girls.

So far, so good. We wanted everyone to help us celebrate, eat lots, and just have fun. I think they did.

TODAY

Today is the day. I hope he's ready for this.

THE Last Night

It is past 12:30, which means it is really past 1:30, for as you know, tonight is DST, or aka Daylight Savings Time, and I am "wired" for at least a few more minutes.

This is a very eventful night for me, as most of you know, because I am to be married tomorrow. I keep thinking of "Going to the Chapel, and I'm gonna get married" oldie but Goldie song of the 50s or 60s.

We had a "dinner" with 15 close friends at one of the MK signature restaurants. As I looked around the table, I saw an "eclectic" group of people who came together for this night, just to help us celebrate this wedding tomorrow. All the people there were wishing us well and giving us gifts of love.

So many thoughts are going through me head right now - Is Bob ready for this? Should I postpone it? Where am I going from this? What about my 1st husband? (All 4 sons will be there) Where do I go from here?

Bob is a wonderful man. He seems ready for this. I know I love him and I know he loves me, but one thought that keeps going over and over in my mind is this-I won't be single any more after tomorrow. I will be married. Wow! That is hard for this over-stuffed mind to comprehend. But, I'm willing to take the chance.

And, if you are in the area, just call for directions to the clubhouse. It would be great to have you. And, thanks Marvin. The hair looks great and will look even better tomorrow.

It seemed like a good idea at the time

With only 4 more nights, you would think I would be engaging in some crazy, wild time out partying with friends, etc. but no, I'm home doing laundry. Bob is at the apartment, probably going to sleep by now. (He has to be up at 2:30, remember) We are just too tired to do any extra things right now. We did go to Wendy's for a quick chili, and then to Kohl's to pick up a "teddy" like top to go with my new red outfit I want to wear Sunday. That was it. Oh yes, I did stop for gas at 7-11. I did not feel like reshelfing any books tonight or rearranging knick knacks.

Work has been crazy, although today was better than yesterday. I had a friend, Kristen, who said she was going to text me every 10 minutes Sunday night. I told her my phone would NOT be on then and neither would my pager. That doesn't sound like much, but if you know me, you know that I sleep with my phone on the bed beside me. That is for Bob's text message at 3:30 am every morning. He started doing that the night after we started dating and continues it on the days he works @ SW. At first I couldn't go back to sleep, but now I answer him, and fall right back to sleep. That will probably stop when we get married. After all, he won't need to do that then. I will enjoy giving up my phone by my side each night, but what could I replace it with that would be as necessary? Maybe a good night's sleep?

Where is my bed?

The movers came today to take away all my earthly possessions; well, at least MOST of my earthly possessions. Sounds pretty sad, right? Not at all. They moved most of my furniture to our new apartment. The only problem is they also moved my bed.

Now I don't want to wax too sentimental, but I love my bed. I hand picked it a few years ago after Tom died. I couldn't sleep in our bed, so my friend Deb went with me several times until I found JUST THE RIGHT ONE! And for me to have to give it up, even for just a week, is almost traumatic - tantamount to being displaced and homeless.

Okay. Not really. I do tend to be a "tiny" melodramatic. Our new apartment is looking like home. My friend, Antoinette, who cleans for me, is cleaning tomorrow and then I can put back all my books and "stuff."

When I say stuff, I really mean stuff. Bob and I must be the two biggest Disney collectors, in the world, except for my son Charles. You name it, we have it. It is only a 2 bedroom apartment, so space IS limited but we will put out as much as possible. Bob has some cool stuff too. I don't want to admit that his is cooler than mine, but...

So the saga goes. Only 6 more nights and the big day. If I had enough energy, I might actually be concerned about the pssibility of something going wrong with the wedding plans, but since I don't, I won't. It is pretty sad when Bob and I both have to take naps just to have enough energy to go to dinner. Hopefully, after Sunday we both will have some rest time. Then again, maybe it won't be for a while after we get married.

Finally

One of the things I hated about moving to Orlando was that I had to leave some very close, wonderful friends. This week-end two came to visit. The time was too short, but, I always have a great time with them and they accept me just the way I am. That is a true friend.

I had class on Friday and left MK to come home to clean and change the sheets. They arrived about about 3:30 and we met Bob for dinner. They like him. I'm glad. I thought they would.

Sat I went back for my last class. Stephanie and Jody from Nashville, met Charles for breakfast and then came to the MK. It was so great to see them. Sarah Clayton is growing like a "weed" and so beautiful. I couldn't stay long because I had tickets to a Braves game where I was going to meet my two friends. Braves lost but a good time was had by all. Sometimes it isn't about the game, just the "good times" and how much junk you can eat. We met Bob for dinner at the Sports Cafe. We went to the storage unit to try to start to empty it. After the second trip, it started to rain and we had to stop. We had hoped to go to one of the parks on Sunday, but they chose instead to help me clean out the unit, wash the clothes, and put things away.

I am so blessed - a wonderful man in my life; friends that go more than the "extra mile" when helping me, and a brand new life. It doesn't get much better.

Weekly Count down

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that one week from today @ 2 pm, I am getting married. As my first husband use to say, "This week has been interesting, if not enjoyable."

Class is over. I received a pin. I just have to have an observation by one of the senior members. And, that is where I get nervous. Am I ready? Not yet, but I will be. Everyone in the program has been fantastic. Our two trainers were so gracious, upbeat, and positive. Even in the midst of all my chaos, this class has been a sort of "haven" to retreat to for a few hours. I will get checked out some time in April. I've asked for a few weeks to "let the dust settle" so to speak.

I've had two friends visiting this week-end. In the midst of all the "happenings" these two friends, more like sisters, have come to help me get through some of the necessary things I had to do. We've had a great time - we've laughed, we've cried, we've eaten, and laughed some more. They are moving my storage stuff into the apartment. (Where did I get all these books?) We went to a ballgame. We're going to visit a "whale" today, thanks to Bob. But, the most important thing they have done is "just be here for me." For that I am so grateful. I've told you I have awesome friends. They are just like the pizza man, "They always deliver." (I still don't have a dress to wear.)