Training?

My husband has a few really annoying habits. He knows they annoy me and he still does them. Is my job to retrain him to correct his habits? I'm not exactly sure.

One thing is if he is watching TV and I get ready to go to bed, I go over to him, kiss him good night and tell him I'm going to bed. Considerate, right? RIGHT! He, on the other hand, just gets up and goes to the bathroom and then goes to bed. No notice. No kiss. No nothing. And that is just plain rude, not to mention annoying.

There is a "hallway" leading to the bedrooms from the bathrooms, and I don't know he's doing this. So, when he went to the bathroom tonight, I was supposed to know he was going to bed? When I finally realized what he had done, I "marched" right into the bedroom, flipped on the light and said, "That was really rude!" I can't believe you do this to me." His response was, "You knew I was going to bed." "And, HOW was I supposed to know this?" "You know me well enough to know where I was going." How's that for logic? I am NOT psychic nor do I have a "board" to figure out the future. But I'm expected to do that?

I really do love this man, but after the week I have had at work, I'm not sure I want to try to figure out what he is thinking. And yet...

Another annoying habit is playing the television 20-30 decibels louder than a small tornado inside our apartment. I am NOT going deaf, but he has to be. Or maybe it's just his way of avoiding listening to me. Hmmmm.

I was married before to a passive aggressor or someone who disagreed with me, but would never make a fuss about it, or let me know he was upset, and then go and do whatever he wanted to do anyway. Bob on the other hand is what "I call" a "conditioner." He uses ways of trying to get me to do what he wants by not talking to me or what I call - the silent treatment. Then when he thinks I have had enough "time out" he will talk with me again and act like nothing is wrong and he proceeds to do whatever HE wants to do; the way HE wants to do it.

Behavior patterns are learned and conditioning is only another way to try to control another individual. I know that but tell me this - Why am I drawn to controlling men? I can't say for sure but it could do with the fact that I was never in control of anything throughout my life. I came close when we had children, but even they had their own way of doing things. And, in the classroom I was supposed to be in control. But, those are different issues all together.

Control is a funny thing. I had real insight into this once. It is really only an illusion that some people have in that they THINK they are actually running their own lives and making things happen within their realm of lifestyle. What they don't know is that God is really in control and with very little effort on His part, He can totally shake up our lives so we wouldn't even recognize them. Believe me - Been there; Had that happen.

On the other hand, I have to give them credit for their direction or slant on life. With that in mind, I must jump to this one question - What would Freud do? Actually, I think it is time for me to go to bed. This is way too much thinking for this late at night.