De ja vu

Spending the last few days with a friend in the two biggest parks brought back a lot of memories.  Not memories with her, for she is a new friend who was visiting from New York, but old friends.  MK has innumerable events that "POP" to mind.  We have a gadzillion even before being allowed to become a cast member, and probably another gadzillion during and after I retired.

EPCOT has another set of memories, especially around this time of year. FOOD AND WINE time offers many concert opportunities, plus mountainous amounts of delicious treats.  I have NEVER been able to eat my way around the countries.  Not even when Marshall and I strolled the pathways, with him finishing most of my samples, could I devour everything. He was truly one of a kind.  Nice looking, intelligent, knowledgeable and very patient with me. I miss him.  I'm sure Emily does even more.

I have spent today MOSTLY resting and trying to make up time spent away up to Ween.  She is very vindictive.  She was "bent out of shape" and wouldn't even acknowledge me when I would try to talk to her.  She was so upset, that she peed on my new duvet and several pillows on the bed.  I had to wash everything last night.  I was afraid it would stain.  I don't think I have been so mad in a very long time.  And, don't try to excuse it - She had just been outside to potty.  It was deliberate! I almost threw her in the sitting room and penned her in.  She was in time-out for about 10 minutes.  She did not like that; suddenly she got very friendly.

Charles will be home tomorrow.  He has been in Atlanta all week.  He is getting home just in time to spend his birthday, Sunday, with his friends.  I'm glad they are here.  Jennifer will be missed as she just had foot surgery and couldn't come, but everyone else will be here.

I remember when he was born - it was homecoming for Tom and he had to leave shortly after Charles was born.  He was so tiny and didn't grow much until he was about 14 or 15.  I am so blessed to have him.  Thank you Father for Charles. He is so awesome.

WOW

Time is passing so rapidly.  It is October already which means Charles birthday is very soon and Tom's is in December.  I don't think I'm ready for either.

Charles is headed to Atlanta and will be back just before his big day.  What can you get someone who can buy anything he wants?  I'm running out of ideas.

We didn't get to make the trip over the week-end because of tropical storm Karen.  I Really wanted to see Mary and Byron, and Charles wanted to go to New Orleans.  Our trip to Mayo Friday has also been cancelled.  The doctors cancelled, this time.  So, that's the way it is.  We make plans and they change. That's life.

Heidi and David are coming on Friday or Saturday.  It will be great to see them.  We're supposed to "cook out."  Or, something like that. We're always excited to have guests.

My friend Lucinda is coming while Charles is in Atlanta.  I'm sooo excited.  She is so great and we have "mucho" fun together.  Can hardly wait.

Time marches on and life is so daily.  I have to remember that.

Life Is So Daily

The time seems to fly by as the daily events happen.  I get up, shower, take my meds.  Go to the " doctor de jour;" come home, eat lunch, nap, wash clothes, or whatever other chore I need to do, fix dinner, digest food for an hour, and go to bed.  The only change is that I go to therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and either go home exhausted, or go to a doctor and then go home and finish the routine.  Pretty boring!

My routine is usually broken only by the occasional repair person, door-to-door solicitor that ventures my way, or potty break for Ween. Today though, my routine was "readjusted" a bit by friends from Illinois Emily and her husband Mr. Ray.  They are dear and precious friends that I miss terribly since their "Misguided" move from Hudson.  I cannot imagine ever moving from Florida, especially back to the Tundra of the north regions.  Further south, maybe, but never back to cold and snow.  I pray God will never lead me there.

Bret and the family also came by for dinner.  He grilled out and it was great.  The sad part was Kinzie is leave to go for training to be a missionary.  WHWY, I think are the initials of the group.  It's an organization  that has training for youth to prepare them to go to different countries to help people learn a trade so they can provide for themselves and families.  She is perfect for the job.  She can do most anything around a "farm type" place and is genuinely talented in figuring out how to build something.  She has helped her dad since she was young and continues to look to God for guidance.  We will miss her so much. (We DID get a piece of fantastic chocolate cake.)

I also have something to look forward to - Charles is going to New Orleans and he is dropping me off for a couple days at Mary and Byron's to visit with them while he's gone.  Ween is going to visit Mock and  Aunt Lizzie while I'm gone.  She loves that.  So, all is well and not such a.daily grind of usual things.  I know I'm blessed.  I just need to remember to thank The Lord.

EDDIE

My sister says I need to update my blog.  I guess that's true, because it's been over a month.  Sometimes it's an extra "thing" to do along with ten dozen other "things" to do .  It gets pushed to the bottom of the TO DO list and just lays there.  It's not that I don't want to blog.  Sometimes it's just hard to dialogue my thoughts and feelings.  Sometimes, it would just be boring to anyone else.

In my ambition to open still-boxed items, trying to decide what to keep can be  cumbersome,  so many memories are contained within those boxes that I'm not sure what to discard and what to keep.  I am mindful of the fact that Charles will probably have to discard  any STUFF I have left when I leave this world, so I'm trying to make it easier on him.

I found a Mini novel I started some years ago.  I "laughingly" called it STUDENTS AND OTHER CRIMINALS I HAVE KNOWN.  It was funny to read and some day I may add to it.  It reminded me of some other students.

I truly believe that you can't have taught very long when some students facilitate the necessity to write about them.  It just seems that there are those who "stand out" in your memories.  One of those students was Eddie.  Good looking, charismatic, almost shy at times.  He reminded me of a rattlesnake - fascinating to watch but dangerous to most humans.  His "smooth tongue" and good looks had gotten him out of many incidents, even while he was in our school but I knew it was only a matter of time.  We developed a "rapport" of sorts and he would often come to me to talk.

Eddie didn't stand much of a chance of succeeding.  His mother was in and out of jail the year he was in my class.  His father was non existent, at best.  I wanted to help but my hands were tied.  There is only so much you can do especially when someone won't let you.

Out of  curiosity, I went into the prison system files that are on-line. Unfortunately, there was Eddie.  He is still fairly nice looking, even in a mug shot.  So sad. Such potential. The last record of parole was 2011.

It bothers me that he wasn't able to escape that life.  How COULD I have helped him? Is there anything I can do now? I just don't know.

THE DAY

It's Monday. No drs. No trips planned. Just today. Sometimes life goes too fast; sometimes it drags. Right now, today, it's slow. I guess I've gotten used to a fast pace and when it changes, I seem to miss it.

Friends David and Pat came over Sat night. I didn't feel well enough to go to dinner with them. Yesterday, friends Dwayne and Jennifer stopped by with their three children. Today, as far as I know, Mary Lou is the only person I know is stopping by.  She is my Home Health Care nurse. I have to have my PTINR checked. That is my clotting factor. Friday-5.7; Sat-3.5. So we'll see today. Between 2-3 is the best level.

UPDATES

Visiting the ER has become a "weird" occurrence lately.  I had to go again yesterday.  Symptoms-dizziness, pain from top of head, down behind my right ear, and into the neck area. Couldn't get any relief.  Called my home health care nurse, she advised getting it checked out.  After a new record of early release, (4 hrs) - CAT scan, X-ray, extreme blood work, and general exams= nothing wrong; May be abscessed tooth. I DID get a definitive - I DO HAVE A BRAIN. The Dr. wouldn't put it in writing, but made verbal commitment of the finding. Whew. I was always wondering. I'm sure some others also have asked.

I think Charles is afraid for me to stay by myself. He and Tom are searching for a babysitter. I wanted a good looking, eligible guy, but that was nixed. Charles will be gone for several days soon, and, well, it seems I need someone with me. The Dr. has released me to drive, but as long as I am on Home Health Care, I can't drive. They are releasing me on August 21st, so maybe I can resume a more NORMAL lifestyle.

Talked w Vicki tonight. She has a really bad cold. I don't know if they can do chemo or not. We'll see tomorrow.  Please pray for her. I'm trusting God to TOTALLY heal her.

Once again, it's a waiting game.  I hate to wait, be patient, or stand still. And, yet, God requires it.

Life In General

At times, I've had to step back and evaluate my life. Usually I hate doing it. Lately, I have been made to realize once again that when life seems on an even keel, we need to enjoy every second of every day because that "EVEN KEEL" can quickly change.

"The hurricanes" of life can be messy and require a lot of energy to keep up. My latest adventure at Hospital Land reminds me how mortal we can be.  Any locals immediately hear Cancer when Moffitt Hospital is mentioned. It is in Tampa and has a great reputation for the strides made in fighting all types of cancer.

At her latest checkup at Moffitt, Vicki's tests showed 8 tumors in her lungs. She just had a large tumor and kidney removed a few months ago.  She seemed to be cancer free.  And, here we go again. Her attitude is positive, and upbeat. She has to have 4 days of intense chemo - August 5-8; a week and half off and back for another bout.

As I cry out to God, I beg for mercy and favor on Vicki's behalf.  And, the WHY comes to mind. God, what are you thinking? No one on this earth deserves God's mercy more than Vicki. She has always been my hero. She is the first person to help when it's needed. She's a Godly, Christian woman of faith who has impacted so many lives. I can hardly bear this HEAVY news. She does not deserve this, in earthly understanding. I also know she believes God is still in control. Please pray God's will.

Life is so short.

WAHOO

Another good Dr. report today. PTINR 2.1; BP 130/67; oxygen 97. I have to wear a monitor in a few weeks; just another testing. I have another Dr. appt. next Tuesday. You would think with all the blood work done in the hospital, they wouldn't need any more blood. Ah, but not so! I have to have another set of blood tests.

REALLY! What do they do with all that blood they don't use? I've given up enough to start my own blood bank. I think it's a conspiracy!  It's being stored somewhere until they run out of fossil fuel. By then, someone will have discovered a way to harness blood. Amazing, isn't it!

I'm also devising a way to print new bumper stickers or t-shirts. "I support the AMA." Or, "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Does this t-shirt make me look fat? ". Who knows. I could be the next designer. What next? Designer plates?

REST

Once again, Ween and I have been given the assignment of holding down the bed. I, personally, have a PHD in bed holding, that's why I'm so good at it.

Good report from my dr yesterday. BP 134/70. PTINR 2.2 (anything between 2-3 is ok.) Oxygen 97% w/out oxygen all afternoon.  It had been dropping drastically w/o the tank, and it didn't yesterday. So, I'm hanging in there. Julie and Mary both are working on my food intake and watching everything.

Julie took me to dr yesterday. She also fixed lunch Chicken and quinoa (like rice only more nutritious).

Bed Rest

The joy of staying in bed, doing very little except eating, drinking and having people wait on you seems ideal. It might be. And, maybe if there was a beach outside, it might be MORE exciting. It's not all its cracked up to be.  I love my iPad, my cell phone, and TV, yet even that gets old quickly.  I have a drs appt on Thursday. MAYBE, just MAYBE he will release me to do more activities. I hope.

My friends Ruth and Jim are stopping by on their way to some meetings.  They are also bringing dinner.  I keep saying I have the best friends, and it's so true.  I can hardly wait to see them and have them see the new house.

Hollis decorations for the house are phenomenal. She has such a "God-given talent." She has made our house so livable and comfortable.  We could NEVER repay her. Again-friends are awesome. She's almost finished w my bedroom. She made a duvet cover, pillow shams and is finishing the  drapes.  So beautiful. I just love them. Can't wait to get everything in my room. 

Charles has decided to get a convertible couch for the guest room. That is Hollis next project. I can't wait to see what she comes up with for that room. 

I'm getting stronger every day. I hope to start walking some next week.  I am so blessed. God is good.

CLICK CLICK

Being home is unbelievable. I stood in my wonderful shower so long, Julie kept checking on me.  It took three washes to get my hair clean. And, I just stood there!

Diagnosis - Congestive Heart Failure w/complications of diverticulitis. We're now working on all the stuff those involve plus whatever else is happening. Oxygen delivered today.  Home health care here and starting on Friday. Dr tomorrow, follow up testing and adjustments, if any.

Ween came home today. She has hardly been out of "her" bed all day. She can't party like she used to. She was also glad to see her mommy. Mock is happy to be able to sleep by himself tonight.  ALL IS WELL.

New Day

Being about 5:00, AM of course, I've already had most of my vitals done.  BP down; Oxygen level up.  SOUNDS LIKE GOING HOME WEATHER TO ME. Last night I begged God to let me go home. I'm so tired of being here. I miss my home! I miss my bed! I miss Ween! I MISS MY "SHO-W-W- ERRRR!!!  (Could that be any more pitiful!)

When I start to complain to God, He just reminds me that I have had a week of rest, waited on hand and foot, all the food I wanted, AND, I didn't have to pay for it. "Sounds like a vacation." AND, there are people who live under the bridge or on the streets of Orlando. I am so blessed.

They have set up Home Health Care for me. This will start when I'm released. I asked for Rose. We have history. She's a TINY little Asian lady who is the picture of genteel. She's so sweet. She even fixed lunch for me several times. (I don't think that is part of her job, but her concern flows over into her life. And, it shows.)

Slept from about 10 until the wake-up. Feel so much better. Can't wait to get home. (Click; Click)

SIX WHOLE HOURS

Six hours doesn't mean anything, as Rich would say, "in the scheme of things," but they can be very important. They were to me.  Last night I actually got 6 whole, uninterrupted, glorious, refreshing, I could go on but I'm sure you get the picture (hours of sleep). I feel so much more rested. Blood pressure still too high, and oxygen level down yet I'm hoping to go home today.

I need a shower! I've said that a lot in my life, BUT I REALLLLLY need a shower. Can't wait to use my new shower head. My family is so more than I deserve. This whole "sick/hospital" thing has gone on too long. I need to do something else for my next adventure. Maybe skydive. Buy a motorcycle, and then write  a book; include the adventure. I can see it now "Sheila Goes Back To The Hospital." Yeah, no. I guess not. Read Dr. Seuss' book - "And To Think It Happened on Mulbury Street." Love that book. Life lessons.

I actually ate food yesterday - 3 tiny potatoes; 4 tiny carrots, their angel food cake and some tea. Most I've eaten in a week, and it wasn't liquid.  WAHOO.

They woke me for vitals and I can't seem to go back to sleep. I miss Ween. I can't wait to see her. She loves her Uncle Mock and Aunt Lizzie, but (click click) there's no place like home.

Tom sent me the cutest picture. It really helps to see it but my phone isn't talking to my iPad right now. Maybe the system. Maybe they've had a spat. who knows. They have strict guards on the Internet here, and I could probably get around It, but too much work and I'm supposed to be LOWERING my blood pressure. I'll add later.  The picture is a view of outside wall of the hospital in CA. In the window someone wrote, SEND PIZZA, Room 4118. Considered doing that myself but just the thought of the smell of pizza makes me gag. So much for my adventures so far. Have a blessed day. I know I will.

ON AND ON

Hospitals have a way of "FINDING" things. Have you noticed that? And, as you can see by the date - I'M STILL HERE.  All my plans for the week - GONE!  All my places to go - GONE.  All the partying I was Going to do - GONE.  (drs are such party poopers.)

(Pictures when transferred)

Pain has cleared. Rawness from infection  has healed some, breathing is better. So...

While I was partying here, the Gang was partying at home. Bret built me a "veggie" stand up garden. TRULY A LABOR OF LOVE. Put new fixture shower head w/handheld shower, new seat, and spongy mats for floor. Added a spice rack to pantry door.  Tom and Charles had Holli make me a reversible duvet cover w compatible drapes and pillows.  I AM SO BLESSED. I can hardly wait to see it all. I also got cake and balloons at the hospital. Only next year the food needs to be better. There's not much to do w liquids.

(Pictures to come)

GOD has a funny sense of humor, doesn't He! I asked him to help me NOT spend money this month. I have to be more specific next time.

OH WHAT A DAY

Unless you have visited one of our finer facilities, you have NOT seen the more interesting areas of Orlando.  I just spent 8 1/2 hours in Sand Lake Hospital ER.It wasn't my intent yesterday, but due to my diverticulitis, I'm spending a night here also.  Again, not my idea of a "FUN" time.

I don't think I've been so sick in a VERY long time.  I was up and down so much last night that I finally got an extremely disgusting look from Ween. She does not like her night's sleep disturbed.  She was very sympathetic though when I started throwing up.

I'm on strong antibiotics, per Dr's orders, and IVs around the clock.  They are talking about me not leaving until Wednesday.  I have things to do. I have places to go. This is inconvenient for me.  DO THEY NOT KNOW THIS?

Ween is going to do a "sleepover" with Uncle Mock and Aunt Lizzie. She loves it there so she will be fine. I will miss her.

AND, ONCE AGAIN, on Friday I will "hide-out and hope no one finds me.  Next year is a bigggy, but this year is just another year.  Oh we'll, if I'm feeling ok, we're going to Pasco for lunch. That will really be nice. I'm truly blessed.

WOW

It's been over a month since I last blogged.  The daily grind  hasn't changed much but, seeing doctors is such a routine if I don't see one every week, it is very unusual.  The only scheduled appointment this week was for a PTINR or blood test.  This is such a "blah" day, I called to reschedule.  I called to reschedule an electrical appointment too.  Don't feel like doing or seeing anyone today.

Both my cataract surgeries went well.  I now have 20/20 vision in both eyes. It's a surreal event. You know he's working but you can't see it. (That Valium really helps.)

My friend Barb was in Jacksonville last week. I wasn't feeling well most of the week, so I couldn't drive to see her, but Charles took me on Friday. It's always good to be with her. I wish she lived closer.

So, I guess Ween and I will continue holding down the bed until something more interesting comes along.  Seems very unlikely today.

AHHHHH

Having four great days, in the past, did not seem like much.  In fact, I usually just ignored the existence of "GOOD DAYS."  Not any more.  After having 2 or 3 weeks of intense pain and agony, I have just had four "MARVELOUS" days of feeling great.  Those days have truly been a gift from God.  

Pain exists to let us know something is wrong.  I already know something is wrong.  I don't want any more pain.  If I had said that in Tom's presence he probably would have said, "That is probably a statement that means you're fairly normal."  I'm just guessing, but he probably said it in heaven.

I have been able to go out and drive, by myself.  (So awesome.)  I have been to lunch and 2 different stores afterward.  (Not possible last week.)  I just want to PRAISE THE LORD, and thank Him for His goodness to me.  

I'm living in a brand new house.  I have food in the refrigerator, gas in my car, a little money in my checking account, and I want for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  I am "EXHALING" as I write.  Thank you Jesus.  Thank you Holy Spirit.  Thank you God.

(And, Ween has plenty of dog food and treats.  She is thankful too.)

LONG TIME

Looking back on the last month, I realized I haven't posted for a while.

Moving into our new home has been such a blessing. I have a "walk-in shower" that I absolutely love, love, love.  Not only do I thank God for clean, hot water but also for the marvelous feeling of just walking into the space.  Ween has even ventured in a few times. Of course, that makes for a different shower and placement of water. (She loves the shower too.)

Moving has also caused a tremendous toll on my body.  I hate being unable to do things that previously were easy to do. I look forward to the day I can once again be mobile.

I have several procedures to be done in the next few months. Anything done can be complicated by taking Coumadin and my pacemaker.  Even with the cataract surgery, as simple as it has been reduced, I still could have complications due to my physical problems. May 21st is my scheduled surgery. I'm sure it will be fine.

I could never say how invaluable our friends are to us.   They have helped over and over again.  And, God   is   God. I don't know how to describe Him. Why He is so good to me, I'll never know. He just IS. Thank you seems so trite. Those words are all I can say, over and over. BLESSED BE THE LORD GOD!

PRAY

Not good news from my friend Vicki - She went for her 3-month checkup. The tests show two new places in her lungs. She is having an eval today and the dr will call with results.

PRAY!   PRAY!  PRAY!

EXHALE?

In the movie "Waiting To Exhale," one of the characters says when everything is "in line" and all is good, she will finally get to "Exhale."  She seems to indicate that she can't relax until everything is good and on an even keel. Then and only then will she finally get to exhale or relax.  

After being so in debt and on edge for many years, I am finally able to "Exhale," so to speak.  God has provided a way for me to live with my son, have a small amount of money in the bank and out of the RED.  PRAISE THE LORD.  Ween and I are so blessed to be able to favored by God.  

I know it's been over a month since I wrote, but there is so much to do and not enough "well" time.  Julie, Mary and Mock have all been so generous with their time in helping, but still...

Eye doctor appointment this morning, lasted almost 2 hours.  It only took 15 minutes to "measure" and check my eyes, but the remainder of the time was "wasted" on filling out forms.  I thought she was trying to get something published.  AND, if that wasn't enough time down the toidy, they will read the papers to me again when I have the surgery.  FUN, FUN, FUN.  I don't know when I've been so excited with anticipation.

We go to MAYO tomorrow for 3 appts - back, diet, and surgery.  I am getting tired of doing that trip.  I'm getting tired of Drs, in general.  I'm just "SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED."

Mock took Ween to his place because we will be gone 10-14 hrs and I don't like to leave her alone that long.  She loves him but she's never been to his new place.  I'm sure she will miss MOMMY.

My friend Barb, from Kentucky, sent me some new clothes for an early birthday present.  4 or 5 interchangeable tops and pants, 2 heavy warm-up suits, and new earrings.  She felt sorry for me having to live in an igloo, thus the reason for the sweats.  I've always suspected Charles was readying his place to become a Butcher, or meat locker salesman as the thermostat is usually VERY, VERY low.  He has compromised - It's usually reading 70-73.  I can ALMOST live in that.

Life being so short, I have to hang my new clothes and fold some old ones.  (I already miss Ween.)