My son has been gone for 4 or 5 weeks working in Hong Kong. And, if you read the title of this entry you would think I'm not happy about his return, and the TOTAL OPPOSITE is true. I have reallllllllllllllly missed him. If his trip has taught me anything, it is I DON'T LIKE LIVING ALONE.
While that discovery is not earth shaking in itself, it is eye opening for me. I always thought of myself as independent; a loner; not needing anyone and capable of "doing my own thing." IF that was once an accurate statement, and you know how delusional I can be working and living in "fantasyland" in the "state of confusion", it is no longer true. And, that scares me a little.
I can't imagine being married to another man and being that intensely in love again. For me, and having my Christian beliefs, living with someone and not being married is DEFINITELY NOT AN OPTION!!! In fact, after reading the book by Josh Harris "I Kissed Dating Goodby", I agree with his statement that "even kissing is not done until after marriage."
With all these "discoveries", and now finally admitting these things, where does that leave me? Basically, in God's hands. How many middle-aged men are there with my life-style and Christian beliefs out there looking for companionship? I can tell you - Not Many, or at least NOT in my world.
BUT. Today is a beautiful day and I'm meeting a friend for a "stroll in the one of the parks". Life can't get much better. HUMMMM. You know, being in God's hands is the perfect place to be. He loves me and I am blessed.
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