Sadness

Down deep, I know death is a part of life. That seems like a paradox, but yet it makes sense. I have received word that my husband's aunt just died. She was such a special person.

My in-laws were not really very happy when Tom and I were talking about getting married. Not so with Irlene. She was so approving of me without any reservations and welcoming me into the family with great warmth. She and Tom were a lot alike - gentle, accepting, with a funny sense of humor. I can't think of her without thinking of Tom's Grandparent's homestead in Highway, KY. They lived on what they raised. And man could they cook!!! I can almost taste all the great veggies they fixed.

I will miss Irlene. It is frequently said, "Oh they are in a better place." Never has that been more true for anyone, especially for her. She developed Alzheimer's a few years ago, and she really had not been "of this world" for many years. It was very sad. Now she is finally home. I know she and Tom are having a great reunion. I'm a little jealous.

'Twas The Day After Christmas

Christmas is now officially over. Did I get my boyfriend from Santa? Alas, "Ah - No!" unfortunately. I DID SEE "A Boyfriend For Christmas" that Hallmark replayed for the umpteenth time this holiday season. And, as cute as it was, and as sentimental as I am, it really didn't do a lot for me. And, I also didn't get a new computer or car or house. Whiny, huh?

As my good friend and fellow accountability partner Vickie would say, "Would I like a little cheese with that whine?" Yes, I am really pitiful!

Did I really expect all those things I mentioned? No. Not really. I DID get lots of nice presents (more than I deserved); spent time with close friends and relatives; ate too much, and also got some rest time, which are all positives. Now I can go back to work and get ready for New Years. I wonder if the New Year's Baby brings presents. "Hummmmmmmmm" If not, my birthday is in July.

Here Comes Santa Claus

Most holidays are pretty routine to some people; not in my household. NOTHING can be considered routine with the family.

As most everyone knows, I live with my youngest son. He, being an exec. does not have to work on Christmas, but I volunteered since I haven't small children and at the time of the sign up, I didn't know my sister-in-law and niece were coming to visit. Now the dilemma is to find a time when all of us can get together, and around my work time.

My older son had a birthday yesterday and chose to celebrate on Friday over here with us. He brought some friends and I think he had a nice time. We ended up with dinner @ a Japanese Restaurant in the park.

Being the type A, controlling personality that he inherited from his grandmother, (and maybe the way his mother used to be) he decided he wasn't driving ALLLLLLLLL the way back over here for Christmas. (approximately 1 hr) He doesn't have to go back to work until Tuesday. (As Julie would say, "Makes you want to go hmmmmm").

Yes; it would be easier on me, especially since I have to be @ work by 7:00 that day. And, Yes, I would really appreciate it. Is it going to happen? Probably not. Now I have to figure out how to pack another thing into an already busy week. But, it's Christmas and I DO want to spend time with him, and see my "baby dog" Carson. And, Tom is a great cook. So, I'll probably drive over there. I can always sleep at some later time.

I did ask Santa for a new boyfriend. That will be very interesting to see how that happens. I can't wait. Well, actually I asked Santa AND GOD. I figured I'd hedge my bet with the two "biggest" names I know. I have found out that in life it never hurts to cover all your bases.

My Life

Life is certainly interesting. Just when I think I know where it is going, I am surprised with where it went.

A popular country-western song right now is, "Life Ain't Always Beautiful" says Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful life. And, for the most part that is true. The surprises in my life certainly make things 'interesting, if not enjoyable.'

As I look back over this past year, I see twists and turns that I never saw coming. And, I see comfortable spots where I rested for a while. Life happens, even when I'm not ready for it. But I must say, I am truly blessed. It certainly isn't the life I would have chosen, but it's a "Wonderful Life."

SORRY IS A NECESSARY WORD

While on this earth and married to me, my husband Tom taught me many things. He taught me that kindness is always in style; mercy doesn't cost you anything; love is expanding; and saying you're sorry is especially necessary when you have acted like an idiotic, raving lunatic.

Last week I met a very nice man, that I will probably never see again. I totally embarrassed myself with him and unless a miracle occurs, something that could have been, isn't going to happen. He will never learn that I have a kind heart. He will not know how much I love helping people. He won't know what a good cook I "can be." But, most of all, he will never be able to know and love the real me. This make me sad.

Going beyond tired, I am weary. Tom always said I "overbooked my time," and I certainly have proven him right once more. It seems that the more tired I am, the "stupider" I get and the more mistakes I make. Even now, it is 4 am and I can't sleep because my mind is exploding with all the things that need to be done, half of which I probably won't be able to do simply because of time constraints.

My wise and talented Mother used to say, "Some people live and learn, and some people just live." (I still hear her words of wisdom even long after her demise.) I certainly haven't learned time management very well. Still, as we approach a brand new year, I believe there is always hope. Hope for humanity; hope for our country, and hope I can at least make it through the next few days of this year with a modicum of sanity.

Crazy Days

Work the last few days has been extremely hectic. I have recently been promoted and although I haven't "officially" been trained or moved into the position, responsibilities have been extended and expectations are being acknowledged. I really don't mind that, but I some times feel extremely "frustrated" by not being able to do some of the tasks. My friends seem to think I am have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and some times even a little anal about getting things completed. With that in mind, you can understand my frustration.

I still love my job though. There are actually times when I have a hard time believing that I am so blessed with all that I have and am able to do. I am living my dream. And, that is so totally cool.

911

Last night I had a friend call. She had set up a "blind" date for me. Normally, I decline, gracefully I might add, and I had lots to do on my day off, but I decided this had been a long time happening, so I might as well go ahead.

I have been singing in a local "Christmas" program with a "cast" choir. I have practiced since late August, and have actually sung many times. Guess where he wanted to go? You guessed it; the 5:00 performance of the program, and we were to do dinner afterward. I said, "Ah, okay."

I was okay with going because I really like the Christmas Story and I actually had not seen it from the audience seats this year. Imagine my surprise when I actually had a great time. This is one of the few "setups" by friends that went well. He is a very nice man and we seem to get along okay. He asked for my number and I got his. So what's the problem? He hasn't called!

I expected him to be so overwhelmed by my "charm, conversation, beauty, etc." that he would have a hard time getting home before he called. Well, maybe not that bad, but what is with men anyway? As a book title says, "Maybe he's just not that into you." It could be true. Oh well. Am I sitting by the phone, pineing for his call? No, not exactly. You see, I have a cell phone and I can pine while I am driving from place to place. Ah, modern technology. What would we do without it? (And, oh yes, I passed on dinner).

Dilemma

When faced with choices, I don't always make the right decision. For those of you who know me, I know that is hard to believe. But, for those of you who don't, this is a surprise. This is a serious one though.

I have a VERY close friend whose child is stealing from me. I know it. The child knows I know it, and they do it anyway. What do I do? If I let the parent know, I risk the chance of losing the friend. I would really hate to do that. If I don't, the child will continue. And, I can't trust them. This is one of those can't win dilemmas.

Two Turkey Days?

Eating at one Thanksgiving Day meal is quite a lot. But, two? I felt like we were doing a "Gilmore" Thanksgiving Day Marathon, but only on a smaller scale. I had forgotten to take pictures at the first celebration, but I took plenty at the second one, especially of Carson, my baby dog:


This is before eating, with Carson checking out all the food being put on the table.

This is Carson, after eating. He found he needed to relax also.

Tom decided to try to get Carson to move to another location. Carson wasn't moving. He likes to be the center of attention.

This is More relaxing after eating - Tom, Eric, Sonia, and Charles - Watching some sort of thing on tv.

And, last but not least, Betty, Ed's mother, the back of Ed's head, and Tom and Eric again.

Not a very energetic group. But, as we all know, it's nap time.

YUCK

This is the day before Thanksgiving and I am sick at home. Bummer, huh? I don't even know if I will feel well enough to go to a friend's house and celebrate tomorrow. She is a food editor for a very famous Theme Park and last year's dinner was amazing. And, I am missing work.

Speaking of last year, I DID end up in the hospital with pneumonia last year, so this is definitely better. I think I caught the infection soon enough. I started feeling worse yesterday at work and called the Dr's office for an appointment. Fortunately, she could see me. Diagnosis was bronichial, sinus, ear infection; the big three. So, I was sent home to go to bed and that is where I have been ever since I got home.

Today has been a very lazy day. I don't know when I have "rested" this much - laid around, did very little - washed a load of clothes, checked my e-mail, realphabetized the cds and eaten several times. It has certainly been interesting.

I have applied for another job in Research. It is one-step up, a little more money, and more responsibilities. I think I'm ready. We'll see if they are ready for me.

My friend Sherry has a guy she wants me to meet. His name is Jesse. She says he's a "snappy" dresser. I could be intiminated by this guy. I rarely go out with guys who dress better than me. It could certainly be interesting. We'll see how it goes.

I asked Kris to go to the Christmas Party with me. I sent him an e-mail, but he hasn't responded. I don't know if he has read it or not. "S" says he has been very busy right now, so who knows. Maybe he's just avoiding me.

My son is fixing some things to take to my other son's house for tomorrow. We're doing 2 T-day dinners; probably because one is not enough or just because we can. It should be a day to talk about. We'll see. Sounds like a "Gilmore" marathon t-day. They had 5 dinners one year. Thank goodness we're only doing 2.

My sister-in-law and niece are coming for Christmas. It is always great to have them visit. "L" and I are close and I really appreciate her for so many reasons. When Tom died she took his shirts and made me a quilt out of them. She is very talented and artistic. It is so beautiful. It was truly a labor of love. It is one of my prized possessions. I will always be grateful to her for that.

My son has gone to the store. He is picking up a prescription for me and getting some additional things for his "stuffing" he is making. If I don't die from over eating tomorrow, I'll have some pictures to post. We'll see how it goes.

I Love My Job

Each week is filled with memorable people. I get to meet people from all over the world and even though the faces start to run together, every once in a while there are some that just make you laugh out loud.

We happened to have a few such encounters the other night. I don't usually work nights, but Sat night Tony and I were working late and he stopped a lady to ask her for some information - "Are you over 18?" In bobble head fashion, she nodded yes. "Do you work here?" No, again bobble headed. "Did you eat breakfast, lunch or dinner here?" (The head was working over time) Yes. And before he could ask her another question, moving to within two inches of Tony's face, she blurted out, with two fingers held high in a "V" shape, "I VOTED FOR KERRY!!!" and walked on down the concrete toward the Exit. For the rest of the night, Tony and I HAD to use that as a response to most any question that we asked each other. We had a ball laughing.

Also that night, I was talking with a mother who was holding a child about 2 years old with another child, about 5 years of age, in a stroller. The younger child was babbling while we talked and the only thing I could make out was "water park." So I asked him if he was going to the water park. The older child spoke up and said, "No we're not going to the water park. We've already been; that's why my butt is so wet." That was my excuse for the rest of the night when something would go wrong. (I have found it helps to have excuses ready.)

[There should be a law against having this much fun at work.]

Oops

Once again, I have proved if a mistake can be made, I will do it. I entered my time wrong last night. This is very serious because the time has to be approved in order to get paid. I don't know about you but I like being paid for the work I do. So, I have tried to figure out what happened on Nov 4, and that will be hard because I have slept since then. I have a very smart pillow though, because most of what I learn during the day seems to seep out during the night. That makes it very hard the next day when my "short-termed memory" can't find the info. Sometimes you just have to "tap dance" and that is hard when you don't know how.

I went to another concert tonight. It was Jon Secada singing on stage. I really didn't know his music and was pleasantly surprised when his concert was over. The "friend" I was with tonight wanted to get something to eat afterward. His choice was MickeyD's. Not my favorite place; not many healthy foods there. He seems to like "fried" foods and the such. I'm not much on Mickey's food, but I found a sandwich and some fruit which at least seemed to be somewhat healthier than their other fare. I'm going to have to help him change his eating habits, slowly of course, because it's not only healthier but better for him, too. (We'll see.)

On the way home, I HAD TO HAVE the top down on my car. He thinks it's silly. So did Tom. I'm okay with that. Obviously they have never enjoyed a car as much as I enjoy my Mustang. Anyone who owns one knows "It's never too hot or too cold to have the top down." It's just common knowledge! I don't know why some people have a problem understanding that. It's really quite simple to me. And yet, it really doesn't matter, does it?

Concerts

Last night's concert with Chubby Checker was TOTALLY awesome. I don't know about you, but I love the "Motown" music of the 50s/60s. Last night was no exception. Chubby Checker is still a 'twister' and looks fabulous. He sang; he danced; he sweated, and so did we.

I also met a new friend last night. Her name is Ruthie. She is from NY and once worked where I do now. She misses Florida and hopes to get back here soon. We had a great evening as she fit right in with my group of friends, who are crazy and have fun. She took lots of pics and has promised to give me some before she leaves. (She brought her photo printer with her; smart lady)

I'm going to the Arabian Knights tonight. I'm not sure what that is all about, but our work group is going and we always have fun together. Sounds like a good time.

I'm trying to get into my checking account online. They are trying out a new computer system. It was supposed to have been working since Monday, but I haven't been able to access my account yet to see how it has been changed. I'm hoping this is not a sign of things to come. So far, I'm not impressed.

This bring me to one of my biggest, recent complaints - computer systems. Why is it the first few "whatever" times a new system is being used, it rarely works properly. Do they not "test" the system? Or, is it that it is filed under "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Who knows. I hated programming, but I do know - When it works, it's great. When it doesn't, watch out. Right now, I'm not happy with several different places that I can't access information from because they are launching new systems. Oh well. "Just another day in paradise."

Shangrala

I'm trying this new "health" plan. I read about it in some woman's magazine and it sounded easy and actually simple to do, so I thought, "Why not?" It is an interesting concept. It uses "sugar" are a catalyst to begin your day. In some way, it balances your body's minerals and suppresses the appetite. Too good to be true? I thought so too.

I bought the book, only $11.00. Not bad. If nothing else, I can just add it to my library. I don't know about you, but I have tried just about every "diet" plan that was ever invented, coming and going. Ever since I was a child, I have battled the weight problem. My weight has "yoyo-ed" all my life. I am sometimes jealous of the people I know that can eat anything and never gain any weight. Annnnnnnd, the really skinny ones are always talking about how fat they are, or how much weight they have gained. Sickening right?

I work with this cute young thing named Kim who wears a size 6 and constantly complains about how much weight she has gained. I don't think I wore a 6 when I was 6. Even though I love this lady, she hasn't a clue what it is like to be really overweight.

I've been "doing" the plan for about 2 weeks. I've not lost much, only 7 lbs, but I really do "feel" better. I don't get up in the morning aching any more. I don't get hungry, or the cravings like I once did, and I can "think" better than I use to before this plan. All in my mind? Maybe. If that is the case, then yeah, I'll continue this for a few more weeks to see what happens. Who knows? Maybe my mind will catch up with my body and they will both lose weight and function better. I can't wait to find out. (Stay tuned)

WHAT IS WITH THIS WEEK?

Why is it when you "think" you have your day all planned, it doesn't "quite" turn out like you thought it would? This seems to be the norm for me this week.

I had this, what I thought was, wonderful day planned for my son to celebrate his birthday, which was actually on Oct 20. He was supposed to be out of town, then he wasn't-he was home, then he didn't feel like partying because he was sick, then he went out of town again, and just got home Thursday.

On Thursday I went to a concert with this very nice man and was looking forward to dinner afterward. My son's flight was snowed in @ the Denver airport and it looked as if he wouldn't be able to leave. My last communication with him was that it didn't look good. I happened to check with the airline between the concert and dinner and found out his flight was not only in the air, but was only 30 minutes late, and I was 30 minutes away from the airport at that time. I had to change plans, and driving directions.

And, then today, with reservations again to celebrate, I couldn't get off of work. I worked until after 5 and only 2 people showed up to eat with him. I felt so bad; even his brother couldn't make it.

I must be "out of synch" lately. I don't know what is happening to my planning abilities. Maybe I haven't thought through my schedules, or could it be I'm "trying to pack too many things into one day" as Tom used to say, or could it be something else? I don't know, but whatever it is, I hope I can get things straightened out this week. If not, oh well. I'll just try to hold on.

My life as I know it

Life is certainly interesting. Where could you walk around all day, "chat" with people, and get paid for it? That is not even mentioning all the perks we get. One of those advantages is getting to enjoy mouth-watering ethnic cuisine, a wonderful concert by the Beach Boys, Three Dog Night, Gloria Gayner (her picture), or The Four Tops and great company with friends. All this AFTER work. I am still smiling.

In my world, I am constantly on the go. My son travels quite a bit and I have his schedule AND mine to work around. He just came back from a trip to LA/San Fran/Seattle/Vancouver. I picked him up at the airport and gave him the good news that his car battery is dead and so is the air conditioner in the house. (Kind of like giving your husband all the bad news when he hits the front door). I probably should not have done that so soon after his arrival, but he asked.

My love life is "null and void" right now. I've been attending concerts with a new friend and things are going well. We are NOT a "couple"; just friends attending concerts and catching some food before or afterward, but it's different to enjoy male company and not have to worry about the ending of the evening. I don't know if this will lead anywhere; probably not, but that's okay too. It's nice to have friends.

Sandwiched in between schedules is also "Processional" practice, church, Dr appointments, and a myriad of errands. Crazy, huh? To quote one country western song, "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful life." That pretty much says it all.

So much to do; So little time

I have so much to do on my day off. My son was supposed to help some people get into a hotel and since he is in NY, I am doing this. I also have to make a trip to my old "stomping grounds" because of info I need for a presentation, AND, I have an appointment to get my "ugly" hair cut from my favorite guy, Larry.

Larry has cut my hair for the last 15 or so years, so he knows me very well. He is a genius, and an artist. He knows all the "nooks and crannies" on my head and compensates for them, the shape of my head, and even gets the blond streaks positioned nicely.

So you see, another busy day off. And, I am working on my other day off this week. Sounds rough? Not really. I love my job. The condo was cleaned today and all my clothes are caught up right now, so I really haven't any complaints, right? I just like to " express" myself, and this is my best venue.

Now that it is sufficiently late and I am winding down, it IS time to go to bed. So, like it has been said by another lady, "Tomorrow IS another day."

The Old Grind

With two days off, I feel like a slug. I haven't been to work in 7 days. SEVEN count them, SEVEN days. The last time I had seven straight days off I was working for the school system and it was Christmas of 2000. (I think)

Today I return to work. Not a heavy schedule, mind you; just 3 hours. Maybe that is good. I don't even know if my mind is still working. I haven't had to think, make decisions, or cook. Wow. That sounds pretty good just thinking about it.

Chicago was "interesting, if not enjoyable." I'm glad I went to Jen's wedding; it was totally awesome. I reunited with old friends. I met some new ones. I was even a tourist, somewhat. And, I totally spent too much money. But, as you know, I have a tendency to do that. Tom was my "string holder." I always compared us to a balloon and the balloon holder; we all know which was which.

I also have processional practice tonight and Friday night. I hope to make both. I was hoping to have a date Friday night, but I can't seem to fit it into the schedule. Oh well. It's only my life. And, as everyone knows, change is the one dependable thing in life, except for death.

More Chicago

Up Michigan Ave












Out our hotel window

Out a window at Sear Tower - Zero Visability.

I am so glad to be back in Florida. I got in my car today, put the top down, and "basked" in the sunshine.

WAHOO! I LOVE FLORIDA!!!

THE Event

Once again, while attending a wedding I am "led back" to my own weddings to face reality. This one was no exception.

It was raining. I got totally soaked from waist to foot. Before I left the hotel, I looked presentable. After that, all bets were off.

(The bride "to be" at the rehearsal dinner)

The chapel was small, but tastefully decorated. Most everyone was in black/white or shades and combinations of it. No oranges, no reds, not even "perky purple." It is Chicago in Sept. White was only present as accents.

I got to see old friends and make new ones. A couple I was reacquainted with I had not seen in 6 years. Such a long time especially when you think they only live less than 5 miles from us. Shameful. I hope to correct that when we return home.

The wedding coordinator was buzzing around; the flower girl was the usual cute little relative that "did her thing" and then tried to remove the pins holding her hair that was put up in curls. The reception, held at Maggianos, was more food and booze than I had seen for a long time. And, for all intents and purposes, a good time was had by all.

(The cake BEFORE)

Weddings make me nostalgic. My mind immediately goes back to my own. My first one (most everyone knows Tom and I were married twice) was simple; more so than this one. We didn't have a lot of money, neither did my parents. We didn't go to Hawaii for several weeks. We went to the "Smokies" for two days. Yet, I remember the day as if it was yesterday instead of 40 years ago. Maybe I reminisce because of the rain, because it was a similar night weather wise. Or, maybe the chapel setting, similar to ours. I don't know exactly, but I could see Tom at the altar instead of D. I could see Dr. Martin, instead of the pastor who was really there and I could hear me promising to "have and to hold, etc." instead of this young bride.

What did I promise? "til death do us part?" What does that really mean? Did I know how it would end? Not in my wildest dreams. I think a country western song says it best, "I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." And, when you get right down to it, "the dance" was way more than I could have hoped.