While on this earth and married to me, my husband Tom taught me many things. He taught me that kindness is always in style; mercy doesn't cost you anything; love is expanding; and saying you're sorry is especially necessary when you have acted like an idiotic, raving lunatic.
Last week I met a very nice man, that I will probably never see again. I totally embarrassed myself with him and unless a miracle occurs, something that could have been, isn't going to happen. He will never learn that I have a kind heart. He will not know how much I love helping people. He won't know what a good cook I "can be." But, most of all, he will never be able to know and love the real me. This make me sad.
Going beyond tired, I am weary. Tom always said I "overbooked my time," and I certainly have proven him right once more. It seems that the more tired I am, the "stupider" I get and the more mistakes I make. Even now, it is 4 am and I can't sleep because my mind is exploding with all the things that need to be done, half of which I probably won't be able to do simply because of time constraints.
My wise and talented Mother used to say, "Some people live and learn, and some people just live." (I still hear her words of wisdom even long after her demise.) I certainly haven't learned time management very well. Still, as we approach a brand new year, I believe there is always hope. Hope for humanity; hope for our country, and hope I can at least make it through the next few days of this year with a modicum of sanity.
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