Peace and quiet

Sitting here at midnight, alone, with the quietness of the apartment, I can't think of anything that I actually need. Mary cleaned the apartment tonight and made a wonderful dinner for me - salad, meatloaf, mashed potatoes w/gravy, fresh corn from the cob, and a bowl of fruit and a cinnamon roll.  I am very grateful for her friendship.  She is getting ready to fly north for T-day.  But tonight, she is driving to Naples to work there tomorrow; left my place about 9:00. I don't like her driving so late by herself.  (God be with her.)

Mock came over Tuesday to take me to my 8:00 am Doctor's appointment.  What was I thinking?  I have water behind my ear drums, and "out of whack" thyroid.  So what's new. She once again changed my medicine.

I think I have someone to watch Ween while I'm gone.  Heidi and David are coming from Georgia to visit the "Parks" so they have agreed to stay here and watch her.  I really do like keeping her home.  Their children, Abby and Max are coming too. Such a nice family.  I really appreciate them staying here. There is a slight "snag" in the schedule. They're not coming until Wednesday, and I have to be in the hospital by Tuesday.  I'll get someone to stay or keep her for one night.

I'm not concerned about the surgery.  Whatever happens is what happens.  I would like to get over this and get on with my life.  We'll see.  Dr Filart is an excellent doctor.  I really appreciate him and know he's the best doctor I could have, so on Wednesday, one day before T-day, if all goes well, I will have the ablation surgery that was supposed to have happened the last time.

Thank  you  God  for  all  you  do  for  me.  I  love  you, Abba Father.

MY LIFE

Pragmatic is the name of the game.  I don't know when I identified that characteristic but I know it has certainly been true since Tom died.  Of course, I measure most everything by that time frame.  

Two weeks from today, I should be having surgery.  I'm looking forward to getting through it and going on to be whole.  I know everything seems to be hinging on this, but I feel like it will be life altering.

My friend Vicki is also having surgery that day.  Hers seems much more serious, but as my son found out this week, any surgery can be harried.  One of his co-workers went in for some heart surgery, had a stroke, and slipped into a coma. (He subsequently died.) This brings it to reality. (I'm  okay  with  reality.)

No matter what happens, its a WIN/WIN.  If it's successful, I win.  If it isn't successful, earthly definition, I still win.  That has been my philosophy for a LONGGGG time.  That is also how I handle most situations in my life.  God has been so good to me, I can't complain.  I've made some "not smart" decisions in my life, but God has remained steady and sure. I'm so glad that is true.

Another Day at the salt mine

Having nothing to do except going to Drs, is really boring. My vision isn't good enough to read, which I loved to do; there is really nothing on TV worth watching, and I can't walk very far due to my breathing and my back.  So, Mock came up with a great idea - Audio Books.  Totally neat. Today we went to the Public Library to check out their stock of audio books.  

We forgot that our voting system is allowing people to vote early. Mock dropped me off and had to park in the "North 40."  I have a card for the Kissimmee Library, but I didn't even know this library existed. Mock had been there several times.  Of course, my card wouldn't have worked there even if I had been able to find it.  It's for Osceola County. I had to fill out an application and they will mail me the card.  Mock had his card so I checked out a book written by Joyce Meyer. I believe this is her first novel.  I can't wait to hear it.  I will be prepared next time with a list of books I want to hear.

Therapy for my right arm is going well.  The therapist comes to the house and has me do exercises.  She also gives my arm and "the knots" in my arm a massage to free up the muscles and tendons.  She's also doing some stretching of the arm too.  Today's was excruciating and Ween ran over to the couch to see what she was doing to me.  She's so protective of me.  I assured her I was okay and told her to go back to her pillow (to lay down.)  I look forward to each session as it is freeing up my arm to do routine tasks.  

I don't have any more Dr's appts this week.  (Wahoo) Therapy on Thursday, and Friday Ruth is coming to visit. She mentioned the Red Lobster as a potential place to eat. It is always so great to see her. She has been a close friend for so many years.  She is another one that I could call any time and she'd be here as quickly as possible.  I am so truly blessed.

LIFE IS FUNNY

Why I'm not surprised when things happen, is probably because crazy "earthly" things happen so often with me. Vicki and I are both officially scheduled for surgery on the Wednesday, before Thanksgiving. Dr. Filart's scheduling nurse called today and that is the earliest they can schedule me.  I'm really okay with it.  (God has a sense of humor, doesn't He. )

I'm not supposed to have stress in my life but as you know, life is not always smooth and easy. Right now, someone very close to me is upset because of a misunderstanding.  She won't talk to me about it and only answers my text with sarcasm and curt meaningless statements.  She doesn't know what this is doing to me, emotionally.  I'm trying to stay calm but it's difficult when you have personal relationships that are sometimes out of whack.  I pray we can solve this quickly.

Charles is returning from NY today.  He should have left about 30 minutes ago and will be home around 6:30.  I have missed him but he works hard when he is gone and needs rest when he returns.

Ween is adjusting to sleeping on the floor.  I had to move her to the floor because of Charles' allergies.  When we move, she won't be able to sleep on the furniture so I decided to start early moving her.  She seems okay, but she still tries to get up on the couch because she CRAVES attention.  Such a brat.

Not much to do today.  Mary brought me some "packs" of homemade mac/cheese.  I had to have one.  That was my lunch.  She is an awesome friend. (and cook).  I am so blessed.

Update on Vicki

Vicki called a few minutes ago.  The doctor at Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa discussed the options.  The most viable one is surgery to remove the kidney and growth.  The won't know the extent of the cancer until they get to  the growth. After they determine the extent of the growth, they will know how to proceed. Right now the surgery is scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving.

Funny thing - my nurse scheduler called yesterday and wants to schedule my surgery for the same day.  If we were in for the same thing, we could be roomies.  I don't think either hospital is ready for both of us at the same time.

I go to my neurologist next week.  I had bloodwork done for her.  We'll see how the medication worked.  I am feeling so much better most days.  God is good.

Gems and Jewels

Jewels in God's crown are friends you can call any time, and they respond with eagerness.  One such friend, Vicki, has just received a harsh blow of earthly reality - she has been diagnosed with a cancerous growth on her kidney, and a spot on her lung.  This is devastating to me. I can't imagine how it was to her.

No one can compare with Vicki - she is a solid, giving, loving, christian lady. She has never refused to help anyone with anything.  She has painted my house. She has helped me move at least 4 times.  She's purchased beautiful live Christmas Trees, brought them to my house, set them up and even helped decorate.  She calls to cheer me while I've been sick.  She even made a platform bed for me so that Ween could get onto it to sleep.  
We've been to retreats together.  We've attended Bible studies together.  I can't even remember half of the things we've done over the years. It's been such a "wild and crazy time."

She has two married daughters with grandchildren.  Her husband, Hank, is a strong Christian man who supports her in all her "Adventures."  Other than him being a Seminole, he's okay.

I love Vicki as a sister in Christ.  She has been such a wonderful example for me to follow. Please God.  Heal her.

THE BIG APPLE

Law and Order, even on the plane.

The "BIG APPLE"is pretty much the way I remember.  We were there to celebrate Charles' birthday. He takes such good care of me. He rented a scooter for me and it was invaluable. I don't know what I would have done w/o it. Jenn, Kenny, Pat and David were also there.  Tom couldn't make it.

Horizon from the plane

Saturday we arrived at LaGuardia about 8:30 am. Everyone else went to tour. I rested. I also had a friend, Lucinda, come to the hotel and we went for a tour of Broadway. She was so patient with me and helped me get through the "hoards" of people.  (I thought Main Street traffic was bad.)  True New Yorkers crossed the streets against the lights.  I was too chicken and slow to do that.  Lucinda didn't want to risk it either.  It was great to see Lucinda again. She brought me a piece of Red Velvet Cake that was unbelievable.  Evidently there is a small bakery that is famous for it's cakes, especially Red Velvet, so she went there, stood in line for over an hour, and purchased 2 pieces.  One for her and one for me.  (See what kind of friends I have.  They're awesome.)

Restaurant

Lucinda took me to her favorite place to eat in Manhattan.  It was a small "diner-like" bistro that had good food and lots of atmosphere.  I didn't even realize that we hadn't paid until we were leaving.  I asked Lucinda if she paid, she said no she just walked out w/o giving them any money. She, of course, was joking.  I didn't even realize she had paid.  I was too busy checking out the restaurant.  Very colorful.

Gang

Pat and David have never been to NY, so all is new to them. For dinner we ate at a neat Tex/Mex restaurant and then went to The Met to see Carmen. It was fantastic. I miss going to concerts with Tom, my husband.

Sunday was another "tour time" for the group.  I wasn't feeling well, so I stayed in and ordered room service.  We had tickets for a matinee of "Mary Poppins."  The group went to "Bills" for burgers afterward.   Charles brought me a burger back to the room.  Delicious.

Monday is our day to go home.  We have all day as our flight is not until 6:00 pm.  I woke nauseated so once again the "group" went touring without me.  Kenny and Jenn left very early, so they didn't get to go, but this is mostly a "shopping" day.  Disney Store, Broadway shops, and "Kodak" moments.  I took the scooter back to the valet area to be picked up some time today; then went back to bed. I don't know why I get sick some days; some I don't.  

Lobby of Hotel where we stayed.

When they returned, Charles took me to the hotel restaurant.  I got a BLT.  For some reason, bacon always seems to settle my stomach.  Crazy huh? I felt much better after I ate.  We were picked up at 2:00.  (Charles is great for details.)  Went to the airport, and went through security.  It took me longer because of the pacemaker, but they were thorough and I don't mind that at all.  We had to wait again at the gate, and by 6:00 were boarded and left good old New York.  

WAHOO

This is my third good day; more normal; level vital signs, AND, I am starting to remember better.  I am walking more, cooking, and more energy.  It's about time.  I am so thankful.

Going to New York is on the menu for Saturday.  We are going to celebrate "someones" birthday.  Friends are meeting us there, plans are made for an opera and musical.  At this moment in time, I am planning to go.  I pray that I will be able to do that.

Once again, I'm going to board Ween.  I'm trying the new Disney kennel called "Best Friends."  It's a luxury resort type kennel and hopefully she will like this place better.  We get a discount as a cast member, so it is only a few dollars more than the place she stayed before.  She has abandonment issues but I hope this will make leaving her a little better.

Paperwork needs to be done before I leave Sat.  It's in a pile on the table. Hopefully, I'll get it done.  I am such a procrastinating princess.  Hopefully my "card" will arrive before I leave.  I have to have an ID card indicating I have a pacemaker.  If not, Dr Filart's office provided me with documentation indicating I have one, but I'd like to have the "official" one.

Ween and I have been going to the mail boxes each day.  She likes getting out and I need to walk. Usually, we walk after dinner, but Julie, Holly and Charles are coming by to discuss the necessary decisions on paint, tiles, etc. I'm excited. Ween is excited too.

TIRED

Going to see Dr Filart yesterday was another point for the AMA's side. My "INR" was checked-3.5; too high.  It should not be above 3.  Every day it is a new experience and a change of medication.  Leave it off yesterday; move to today and take that scheduled amount.

Dr is also wanting to still do the ablation.  Fran's scheduling it for some time in October; after October 20 (Charles' Birthday.)  Charles will be out of town part of that time, so that is another reason to schedule later in the month.  I just want to be well.

Our trip to NY is "supposed" to happen next Friday.  Dr Filart has cleared me to travel, with all meds and information sheets indicating my pacemaker.  I don't know if I can physically do it or not.  I haven't much energy even on a good day, so I need to make a decision, quickly.

I can't board Ween again.  It was not a positive experience for her.  She didn't sleep or eat, but seemed to like the place and people, but had a very raspy bark.  She probably yapped a lot.  I had to take her back to the clinic for her cough, and she wanted to go back to see every one.  She is very social.  I'll try to get Mock to stay with her.  She misses him, so it would be a good time for her.  I will also need someone while I have surgery, soooooo. We'll see how it goes.

GOOD DAY

Today is another good day.  I walked to the mail box.  Now, in itself, that doesn't sound like a lot but in the "scheme of things" as my former principal would say, it's a great move forward.  Ween went with me, of course.  She found a motorcycle to chase.  Thankfully, the rider stopped and let her have her time barking.  Excitement galore.

I'm trying to "ween" Wiener from getting on the couch.  When I move in with Charles she will need to stay off because of his allergies so I thought this would be a good time to "ease" her off.  I even put one of the pillows on the floor.  She IS laying on this, so this may really work.

I'm still excited about the house.  It seems to  move sooooo slowly.  I think it's just me.

Charles took me to the store yesterday.  Moving around really helps but tires me.  I will be building strength every time I take a trip somewhere.  Ween seems to have extra energy now too.  She isn't sleeping as much as she used to.  Maybe because I am more active; who knows.

I go to my heart surgeon, Dr Filart, on Thursday.  I think he needs to make some adjustments, but what do I know.  He will evaluate and do accordingly. Blood pressure was low this am, but better than high I am told.

I am having more good days now.  I'm excited about being able to go more.  I only hope I can go to NY by October 3.  We'll see.

Awwww

Today was a good day.  I didn't have any heart problems, that I know of, no fever, no pain, and I was even hungry.   Ween is feeling better too.  She was running around, jumping, and playing with her toys.  I wasn't quite that active, but I got my dishes done today.  I even sorted through my piles of papers that had accumulated in my desk area.  That was an extremely "overwhelming" task.  I hate paperwork.  When I win the lottery, I'm getting a secretary for that job. 

Yesterday Julie took me to see Dr LaFran, one of my heart specialist. I'm still having some dizziness so I have been restricted to no driving.  It was my first appt since I left the hospital.  I was "in afib" all day yesterday.  It started around 8:00 am with a heart beat of 130.  It continued throughout the day and was around 100 by the time I got to his office. He was concerned. I had an ekg, an "inr" test and he changed my meds. The inr is to check the clotting factor in my blood.  It was 2.8, which is good.  Most any where between 2-3 is considered good.  

After coming home I made the adjustments in meds and the afib slowly quit.  It makes me so tired when it 'dances' so I spent some additional resting in bed this am.  Of course, Ween was right beside me.  She has been such a trouper. She is very sympathetic, usually lays beside me, and never seems upset.  She's the perfect companion.   I love the bumper sticker - "The more I learn about men, the more I love my dog." So true.  So true.

Today

Healing.   I can't do much yet, but I have wonderful friends and family who are making sure I'm taken care of each day.  I'm still sore, tired; resting as much as I can.  Mary came and cleaned up, helped me take a shower, fixed me food, fresh and frozen for later, and made sure I had what I needed.

Ween, on the other hand, is not doing well.  She came home with a "wheeze" that I can hear, but not feel in her chest. I need to take her back to vet and see what is going on.  I can't ask anyone else to take me, so I may have to "break a rule" and drive to vet.  We'll see.

Holding down the couch is our big deal today.  I think Ween and I are up to it.

There's No Place Like Home, Dorothy

Dr Filart released me to go home yesterday.  The only person more tired than me was Ween. We got home, ate a sandwich, and both sacked out on the bed. She slept most of the day, but I was up and down a few times.  I don't even really remember the day except we were home.

I woke up about 6.  Ween is still sacked out under the cover.  She has hardly left my side.  I think she missed me as much as I missed her.

I have a bandage over the place they inserted the pacemaker.  I can't get it wet until at least Friday.  I am TOTAL bed rest for 5 days, except for Dr appt Thursday to check my blood clotting level.  I have to go to the Heart Clinic for that. I am " basically" isolated for 5 weeks.  That period of time covers our trip to NY for Charles' birthday party.  I don't know if Dr Filart will allow me to go or not.  I am to make an appointment within 2 weeks, and that will be a "pacemaker" adjustment, if necessary, and check me out to see if everything is okay.

I am so grateful to God for His hand in everything that was done.  I guess He's not ready for me yet.  I am used to staying inside, but Dr Filart wants me to be careful of crowds and not come into contact with a lot of people.  I'm supposed to get a "card" that says I have a pacemaker so that when the alarms go off, they won't cart me away to the POKEY.

I am looking forward to today.  It will be exciting and new.  PTL.

Oops

Things don't always go as planned. I keep forgetting that. My ablation was "aborted" after dr Filart got into the right side, ready to go into the left side and found a "flap" of skin hanging from the upper chambers  entrance.  He did not want to risk the flap breaking off, going into the blood stream, and causing a stroke.  Plan B is a pacemaker to, hopefully, be inserted tomorrow. I am to do nothing but rest, no phone, no visitors, no nothing.  I appreciate your prayers so very much.

Dr Filart has been so wonderful. He even came in on his day off, yesterday, because he was concerned. ( IT WAS A GOD THING)  My heart was stopping for several seconds at a time.  I understand "this is not good." I now have paddles taped to my chest, just in case. There were about 10 people that were immediately in my room when I was having those "episodes." He was so quick and on top of what was happening  He changed some meds, and stayed here until I was stabilized.

I miss Ween so much.  Now I won't be able to go home until at least Tuesday. I'm sure she is confused too.  Any questions, forward to Charles. He and julie are the only people visiting right now. And, they can't stay very long at a time.

Keep the faith and PTL.

WAITING

We're over the Isaac "scare," and weather has returned to our "Normal." Ween and I are just holding down the couch until Wednesday.  She goes to the groomer and then to her vets where she will be staying while I am in the hospital.  She is going to be one upset little girl, but I haven't any choice as I can't find anyone to keep her.  Her vets also has boarding facilities so that is probably the best place for her.  She's never been away from home except for one night with Bob while I was at Mayo.  I don't know who will be more upset Ween or me.  I hate leaving her any time, but especially some place she doesn't know.  I'm sure we both will be okay.

I go into the hospital at 6:00 am on Thursday.  This will be a day of testing and getting ready for the surgery on Friday.  I've read all I can read on my doctor, the hospital, and the surgery.  It is said that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  While that may be true, I like having all the information. Some people think I ask too many questions.  My name in Scottish actually means "question."  That would be me.

Actually, that is my learning style.  My scattered thoughts, put together, help me to process and put ideas together.  I don't know exactly how it works, but ...

Ween has just gotten up and wants to go back to bed.  She usually comes in and goes back to sleep under her blankie that is on the couch.  But, I had to wash her blankie so she is huffing at me because it's not there.  She does not adjust well.  Poor baby.  Life is so hard sometimes.

ISAAC

Central Florida is well.  We are getting some much needed rain.  So far not much wind. South FL and NW panhandle are getting a rougher version than we are at this time.  God is good and in Control.

Charles has decided to build.  He and Julie have been SEARCHING and getting paperwork in place and have narrowed it down to two versions.  Both are beautiful.  We would be so fortunate to live in either.  The only problem is it will take 5-6 months but anything that is worth having sometimes takes longer than expected.  Ween and I are excited.  We will try to take pictures along in the process after all is settled.

Surgery still scheduled for September 6-10. Going in on Thurs, and having the surgery on Friday.  I will be at ORMC in Orlando.  AKA Arnold Palmer Hospital. (Orlando Regional Medical Center).  Great hospital. We expect no hiccups. Either way it is a WIN/WIN situation.  I'll try to keep everyone informed.

FYI - The company building the house is RYLAND.  The two versions are the Clearwater and Boca Raton, if you would like to check them out.

Thanks for your prayers.  Keep the faith.

Careful What You Say

Why do I always open my mouth and say stupid things like - "I haven't had many Drs. appts this week or last week."  Obviously, God thought I needed Him to show me He is still in control.  I had two appointments yesterday and two today-all unexpected

I had to see my regular PA-Tania on the 14th, which was last week.  She decided I needed to see an endocrinologist.  My thyroid has never been stabilized, since first discovering it wasn't working over twenty years ago. Tania has only been seeing me for about 6 years, and she is concerned so I went to see Dr Bourne.  My appointment was yesterday and Dr Bourne ordered a Sonogram of the thyroid (I didn't know it was pregnant) and more blood work.  I had the sonogram yesterday; blood work today.  I also went to my allergist today.  I talked with two more Drs. offices today. I believe I have done my share of supporting the AMA this week.

Unless something crazy happens, I only have two appointments next week.  I also stop my Coumadin 5 days before surgery (Saturday) and proceed with shots for several days.  Then, the surgery.

I haven't figured out what to do with Ween. Mock moved out today (surprise.) I didn't expect him to move until the 30. I'll need to find someone to take care of Wiener while I'm in the hospital. I'm also moving, but not sure where or when.  I was hoping Charles and I would be in a house by now, but...  My life is always "interesting, if not enjoyable."

Doctors, who knew.

Having only one appointment in three weeks is something of a miracle with me. It is always good to see Tania.  I had lost 6 pounds, blood pressure 120/80, ptnr (or whatever letters it is) was 2.3, which is great, but my thyroid is still out of whack.  She's concerned that it hasn't stabilized in the 5 or 6 years she has known me.  I have news for her - it has NEVER stabilized since I started taking Synthroid, which is 15 or 20 years.

Tania is sending me to an Endocrinologist for more testing.  It's a shame that Drs are still "PRACTICING" medicine and have nothing else to do but use me as a guinea pig.  Soooooo, I have another appointment for another doctor for more testing.  I go Monday to see her and, well, here we go again.

My concerns are more intense for Bret and Julie.  Our church is really going through "IT" now.  The new pastor left after only 6 weeks, the teen director was fired, and now, after voicing his concerns, I believe Bret was also fired. He won't talk about it, but he is very angry.  He has given his all to this church for 16 years, and now what?  I don't know what to tell him except GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME.  I have been holding on to that for years.  I can't turn loose of it.  And, I know he knows that too.

We will all make it.  God has promised.

Lessons Ween has taught me

1.  Hugs are necessary.

2.  I still love you, even though...

3.  Hugs are necessary.

4.  Food is good, whenever it is available.

5.  Hugs are necessary.

6.  Mistakes can be forgiven.

7.  Hugs are necessary.

8.  Visitors are here to see me.

9.  Hugs are necessary.

10. Hug someone you know today.

RELATIVES

Being with relatives can sometimes be taxing, especially if you have nothing in common.  Not true this week.  My nephew, his wife, and family, and his sister were here all week.  Wow.  They are the sweetest people and I enjoy them so much.  I wish they lived closer so we could get together more.  Their oldest son just graduated from high school and the next son will be a senior this year.  They will soon have two college men in the family.  (That can be very expensive)  They like to joke about getting rid of him, but I know they will miss him so much.  They have a daughter that is going into 7th grade and an eight year old son. Both are so personable and easy to love.

We had dinner the other evening at Rainforest Cafe at DTD.  That is a very noisy place, but the food was good and we enjoyed just being with them. Laughter is such a great commodity.  And, when we get together we have so much to catch up on and to laugh at that it is such a joy when they are here.

His sister seemed to enjoy being here too.  She took advantage of the lower tax amount here and bought some thing she had been saving to buy.  I got to spend some time with her, even though I tire easily.  I hate that part of my condition and hope it changes soon.

Ween saw her eating a yogurt this am and thought she would get some of it. I warned her that Ween thought everyone fed her like I did.  You have to tell Ween  NO! IT'S MINE.  Otherwise, she thinks everything is for her.  She did get to lick the container.  That's almost good enough for her.  Sometimes I think its just acknowledging her being there.  Sometimes, she's just being plain spoiled.  Usually the later.