WAXING WISE

What can I do when Ween wakes me at 3:30 am and wants to go potty.  Of course, I let her out.  She comes back inside, jumps up on the bed, goes right back to "sleepy" and I'm wide awake.  As I was trying to return to my blissful position in the bed, eyes wide shut, I started thinking.

Sometimes a dangerous thing for me, my mind "flits" from thing to thing reminding me of the canaries that I have previously mentioned.  It finally rests on the term "LOVE." Why?  Probably because I had some limited "written" exchange with Bob last night.  I admit I initiated it.  I was trying to find out about some groups that will soon be performing at Sea World and I wanted to see them.  (That is a whole different issue.)

Getting back to love, my mind moved on to my money situation.  How did that happen?  Who knows.  But my daily scripture today was "The love of money is the root of all evil." How appropriate for me. God has a way of doing that, doesn't He.  

I don't think I LOVE MONEY.  I KNOW I like what it can do, but have I reallllllllllly trusted God to "supply my needs" or have I been trying to juggle my finances myself?  Well, we all know the answer to that.  I have finally conceded to God I need help.  Not just more money, but help in "massaging" the money I do get each month to use it properly.  That is a big step for me.  I'm waiting for Him to get back to me.

In the meantime, back to love.  God showed me true love yesterday.  A year after Tom died, I found a receipt somewhere in all his "paperwork" that had piled up on his home desk. The "receipt" was from a Jewelry store in Tarpon Springs.  It did not indicated who had given it to Tom or how much it was worth.  I believe it was dated around 1995 or 1996. He had kept it a long time, or maybe it got "conveniently" lost until I was meant to discover it.  

Tarpon Springs is one of my favorite places to visit so I drove to the store and asked if the receipt was still valid. They assured me it was.  I asked to see what I could get for the amount only they knew. It just said it was worth a gift at this store.  I asked what I could get for the amount.  They showed me a display of beautiful items.  One "popped" out at me - a lovely pair of "Greek Key" earrings.  I had to have them. And, that is how Tom gave me a pair of earrings for his first year anniversary in heaven. Naturally, these earrings mean so very much to me.  When I wear them I think of him and smile.  

Yesterday, I accidently dropped a portion of a towel in the toilet and lifted it out, wrapped it up and laid it on the area beside the sink to later wash it.  When I was getting ready to wash it I "jerked" it off the sink and took it to the washer. When I returned to the bathroom, I saw ONE of my precious earrings on the floor, beside the tub.  I was panicked when I couldn't find the other one.  I shook the towel, got on my hands and knees, looked all around - even in my bedroom. NOTHING. I had a drs appt and had to leave.  I would return to the search later.

When I got home, I began my search again. NOTHING.  I cried out - "Oh dear God, if you love me at all, please don't let me lose this precious item.  They mean so much to me." I knew God loved me.  I have never doubted that but I was desperate.  

The quiet, still voice inside my head said, "What about the garbage?"  I don't know about you, but I DO NOT LIKE RUMMAGING THROUGH GARBAGE, even in the bathroom where it is relatively "clean."  So I didn't. I kept "fruitlessly" going over and over all the items in the bathroom.

I cried out again, "Please don't do this to me.  I really can't lose that earring." Again, the question - What about the garbage.  As a last resort, I picked up the trash can and started switching the tissues, etc to the sink.  There nestled within a tissue shining like I have never seen it, was that lost earring.

Does God love me?  Of course He does.  That has never been the question.  The question is - Do I love Him enough to trust Him with all my life?  I'm trying harder today to do just that.