LUMPY

Very young

Have you ever tried to sleep on a lumpy bed?  I don't mean as in "too old to use any more." No, I mean lumpy as in "something has made a large lump in my bed."

I didn't start "letting" her sleep in bed. Bob did. I was gone to a retreat and rather than listen to her yelp, he put her in bed with him to shut her up. Being the little "DIVA" she is, it quickly became HER bed and she lets me sleep there too.

She is my "undercover" doggy.  She starts her "naps" in bed by tunneling under the covers. Actually, she digs "at" the covers and then looks at me. She has trained me to respond by lifting the covers for her to move under them.  To get comfortable, she wiggles her way to the side and pushes her nose out. Sometimes, she pushes out to her chest and it looks like I covered her with the covers.

Much more mature

Annnnd, if that isn't pushy enough, she sleeps SIDEWAYS of the bed.  That leaves me about 6-8 inches on which to sleep.  I don't know about you, but my rear is large than that and I sometimes feel as if I'm fall off the side.

Mock tells me I have created this "monster."  It's probably true. How can you say no to that face? I am such a "push over."

For Such a Time as This

Thirteen years ago,  January 6, I had four front teeth pulled. The vivid image and circumstances that happened are burned into my memory as if it were yesterday.  While I was "resting" after the surgery, a representative of the nursing home called and told me they "found" my dad when they took him his breakfast.  In my groggy state of mind I could not process that information.  I asked what she meant.  Did he fall?  Where did they 'find' my dad?  Did I want her to call my mother?  

I had been my dad's designated health care surrogate for some time.  With that "title" also came responsibility.  I had to make the decisions on any of his health care issues. Ultimately, I also had that responsibility for my mother also.  

Thirty days later, with no front teeth, I stood before a ladies group for a one-day retreat. The emphasis for that retreat was Esther 4:13-14. Haman, an evil advisor to the king, wanted to get rid of the Jews. He tricked the king into making a degree that would have anyone killed that did not bow down to the king. Esther had been selected to be the queen and even though all rules applied to her, the king favored Esther to the extent that he even let her enter the throne room without him sending for her.  (This was also punishable by death.) 

She tried to talk Mordecai out of her going before the king "unannounced." He stood firm.  She must go to persuade the king to reverse his decision.  She reminded Mordecai that "just showing up" to see the king could mean death for her.  He convinced her to go and with her "resounding" statement - "If I perish, I perish" she made herself physically presentable to the king.  

Esther 4:13-14

King James Version (KJV)

¹³ Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews.
¹⁴ For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, then shall their enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

God is not "surprised" by this world. He doesn't look to Earth and say, "Man.  How did that happen?" During a quiet time this week, God reminded me that I also had come to Earth for "such a time as this."  I must get beyond the chaos of co-ordinating the moving of 3 areas of "stuff," of health issues, of money issues or any other "swirling" area of my life, and get on with my tasks for Him.  I am certainly here for "such a time as this."

Closet Lady

On Tuesday, some friends are meeting me at Charles' apartment and they are going to try to finish his packing. Mary and Charles both have been putting things in boxes. He gave his notice of moving for Feb 28. He's moving a bed into my second bedroom and staying here until the house is finished.  My lease was extended until March 31.  My complex is much more flexible with my moving.

The front door and the garage door will be painted soon.  It is exciting to see all the changes being done daily.  This picture shows Ween being introduced to her new front yard. She also did a "nose and butt check" with her new next door doggy neighbor, Amy.  Last time there was snarling and growling.  This time, just sniffing.

The "closet" lady met me at the house to talk about designing the closets.  Fat chance of me forgetting her name - Shiela.  She, of course, spells it wrong, but I'll forgive her after she gets all the work finished.  

The cleaning people arrived and were still working on the "preliminary" cleaning when we left.  Stove isn't in; microwave, dishwasher, and lights have been installed.  The washer and dryer, and the refrigerator were bought separately as the real estate company wanted entirely too much for their versions.  Charles felt it was more productive to spend the money on other upgrades. 

Charles, Holli and  Julie chose some lovely colors - walls, floor tiles, granite tops, and back splash all look so nice.  The granite tops are also IN the bathrooms.  We have "toilets." (WAHOO.)  Little by little it is coming together. The closing date hasn't been changed again so it looks like maybe March 7 WILL be the date.  

God is so good.  Ween and I are excited.  Hard to tell with Charles.

FAT TUESDAY

Tomorrow is the last day of Mardi Gras.  This is, in my opinion, just another day to "do all the sin and degradation" that can be done, and then repent the next day with "sackcloth and ashes."

As I can't usually eat a lot at one meal, consuming massive amounts of food and drink just isn't something I enjoy very much any more.  To me the day means a lot more.

Symbolism of Fat Tuesday, to me, means I'm leaving the "worldly" things behind and entering a period of time that fasting and prayer replace.  I know traditionally the Catholic or Orthodox Churches are the ones who actually use ashes on the forehead to indicate penance.  I would like to attend a service in which I can participate and receive the "Ashes of Repentance."  I haven't found one yet that will allow a "non" member of their church to participate.  And, even if that doesn't happen, I will still observe the traditions of Ash Wednesday.

Someone just needs to see me and realize that I have "sacrificed" very little in my life.  This is probably one of the reasons my "illnesses" have caught up with me, but I want to make Lenten Season especially important this year.  I am beginning another era of my life - the move, the relationship, and the changes.  

After all the chaos of moving three different locations and merging into one, I am "Waiting to Exhale" so to speak. For those who have not seen the movie, this is a period of time when everything eases, settles peacefully down to a rhythm or routine and life becomes enjoyable, maybe for the first time in your life.  For me, it will be another feeling of rest.  It seems as if I have held my breath for so long.  Shabbat Shalom. Pray for peace.

WAXING WISE

What can I do when Ween wakes me at 3:30 am and wants to go potty.  Of course, I let her out.  She comes back inside, jumps up on the bed, goes right back to "sleepy" and I'm wide awake.  As I was trying to return to my blissful position in the bed, eyes wide shut, I started thinking.

Sometimes a dangerous thing for me, my mind "flits" from thing to thing reminding me of the canaries that I have previously mentioned.  It finally rests on the term "LOVE." Why?  Probably because I had some limited "written" exchange with Bob last night.  I admit I initiated it.  I was trying to find out about some groups that will soon be performing at Sea World and I wanted to see them.  (That is a whole different issue.)

Getting back to love, my mind moved on to my money situation.  How did that happen?  Who knows.  But my daily scripture today was "The love of money is the root of all evil." How appropriate for me. God has a way of doing that, doesn't He.  

I don't think I LOVE MONEY.  I KNOW I like what it can do, but have I reallllllllllly trusted God to "supply my needs" or have I been trying to juggle my finances myself?  Well, we all know the answer to that.  I have finally conceded to God I need help.  Not just more money, but help in "massaging" the money I do get each month to use it properly.  That is a big step for me.  I'm waiting for Him to get back to me.

In the meantime, back to love.  God showed me true love yesterday.  A year after Tom died, I found a receipt somewhere in all his "paperwork" that had piled up on his home desk. The "receipt" was from a Jewelry store in Tarpon Springs.  It did not indicated who had given it to Tom or how much it was worth.  I believe it was dated around 1995 or 1996. He had kept it a long time, or maybe it got "conveniently" lost until I was meant to discover it.  

Tarpon Springs is one of my favorite places to visit so I drove to the store and asked if the receipt was still valid. They assured me it was.  I asked to see what I could get for the amount only they knew. It just said it was worth a gift at this store.  I asked what I could get for the amount.  They showed me a display of beautiful items.  One "popped" out at me - a lovely pair of "Greek Key" earrings.  I had to have them. And, that is how Tom gave me a pair of earrings for his first year anniversary in heaven. Naturally, these earrings mean so very much to me.  When I wear them I think of him and smile.  

Yesterday, I accidently dropped a portion of a towel in the toilet and lifted it out, wrapped it up and laid it on the area beside the sink to later wash it.  When I was getting ready to wash it I "jerked" it off the sink and took it to the washer. When I returned to the bathroom, I saw ONE of my precious earrings on the floor, beside the tub.  I was panicked when I couldn't find the other one.  I shook the towel, got on my hands and knees, looked all around - even in my bedroom. NOTHING. I had a drs appt and had to leave.  I would return to the search later.

When I got home, I began my search again. NOTHING.  I cried out - "Oh dear God, if you love me at all, please don't let me lose this precious item.  They mean so much to me." I knew God loved me.  I have never doubted that but I was desperate.  

The quiet, still voice inside my head said, "What about the garbage?"  I don't know about you, but I DO NOT LIKE RUMMAGING THROUGH GARBAGE, even in the bathroom where it is relatively "clean."  So I didn't. I kept "fruitlessly" going over and over all the items in the bathroom.

I cried out again, "Please don't do this to me.  I really can't lose that earring." Again, the question - What about the garbage.  As a last resort, I picked up the trash can and started switching the tissues, etc to the sink.  There nestled within a tissue shining like I have never seen it, was that lost earring.

Does God love me?  Of course He does.  That has never been the question.  The question is - Do I love Him enough to trust Him with all my life?  I'm trying harder today to do just that.

It's a God Thring

When God makes things happen, it is so neat to me.  I have always "valued" the teaching abilities of Joesph Stowell, former President of Moody College.  I read his books.  I try to hear him when I can. I had not thought about him probably since he left Moody, but his name came to mind Sunday evening and I decided to try to find him.  It wasn't hard.  He's still writing and working for The Lord.

His schedule listed him as conference speaker at the OMNI Hotel  in Orlando, FL on February 6.  Wow.  I signed up for the evening meeting, hoping to be able to go.  Unfortunately, I am not supposed to drive at night because of my vision problems.  I knew I would have to have someone to take me.  Mock is working. Charles called today and said he had to be at MK tomorrow at 4:00 am for a photo shoot, so he had to go to bed early. (In other words, he couldn't take me.).  I was not able to go.

But God is so neat.  Guess who was the guest speaker on Day of Discovery tonight.  Yep, that's right - Joseph Stowell.  Isn't God awesome.  I couldn't go to Joe Stowell so God brought him to me.  WOW! He must really love me.

Celi

Meeting my new neighbors was an event this am.  Nauni and Celi, Mom and daughter; doggy Amy.  Amy and Ween were not exactly "BFF" to start, but I'm sure they learn to love each other.

Nauni sounds like a great cook AND, she is a hairdresser. Can this be more perfect.  Celi is in 5th grade and another daughter "Antoinella (sp) is about 1+.  Seem like great people and I hope we will be good friends.  Their house is to the right of ours.

We have paint.  Nice.  Grass and Shutters are coming tomorrow, per Ross (Contractor).  Julie says signing date has been pushed back to March 7.  Oh well.  It is what it is.

The inside has been painted a "creme" color; about the color of the trim on the outside. Charles hasn't decided whether to repaint before we move in or not.  Holli says they usually use cheap paint and that it would be a good idea to have it repainted.  We'll see.

Ween found a "Weiner" window in our bedroom.  She can jump up on the window sill and look out. Just her size. Probably need to put some sort of covering there; maybe slate or marble.  Not a bad idea to add it to all the windows because they are low and once she knows she can "peep" she will do it all over, and scratched walls will not look nice.

I may try to go back out to the house tomorrow to see all the new installs.  Nauni said she was there every day. I can't go EVERY day, but it's exciting to see when there are changes. I am so blessed.

TWEAKED

A little "incident" Thursday sent me to my "wonderful" Dr Filart.  He is so amazing (but that's another issue.)  I kind of "fell" face down into the carpet.  I have had some issues with vertigo, especially within the last two weeks. I had reached down to pick up Ween's food bowl and kept on going.  I can't tell if I pass out or the equilibrium changes too rapidly. Anyway, the "magic wand" of the pacemaker checked all the info that was downloaded.  It seems to be doing it's job, but needed to be "TWEAKED" a little. I don't think that is a "medical" term but the Tech Dr used the term.

It's amazing what that machine can do and what it tells the Dr.  My meds were changed with the "tweak."  I'm still having some vertigo, but it could be inner ear.  I started taking Benedryl yesterday and if it isn't any better by Monday, I'll go see my allergist to have it checked. (I hate falling apart.)

Charles had to go to the house to measure for refrigerator and w/d so I went with him.  Most doors have been hung, and baseboards installed. It's coming along.  I'm just too anxious, I guess.  He's getting those appliances separate because it was cheaper to do it that way.  He has such a great mind for evaluating situations, and with the help of Julie and Holli, most everything has been considered.  {I am so blessed.}