Not Today

Sometimes it seems, I think, in my blogs that I am lackadaisical about my life especially with my health or, money or most anything I ramble on about. Usually not so.  I do a "stream of consciousness" writing - whatever pops into my mind at the moment goes on the page.  That is not to say I don't do anything about circumstances or do not have moments of lucidity where I can actually know what is going on and what to do.  DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? I'm not sure.

Some have expressed concern about me.  I covet prayers - always.  I truly want guidance from God.  And, I NEVER want to forget His goodness.  But I HONESTLY don't worry about anything.  I have some concerns.  I seek wisdom.  I also seek mercy and grace.

We have a fairly good relationship - God and me.  He knows me.  He speaks to me.  I TRY to listen carefully. I used to say to Tom that I was the "balloons" the clown in "my Circus" was carrying and he was the clown holding onto the strings.  (We all know what happens if you let go of the string.)  I do have a tendency to fly around the room backwar, but not without God holdling onto the balloons.

I am in ALMOST constant contact with my doctors.  I have been to four or five this week.  I had a new "stress" test and multiple blood tests.  (I thought I had enough stress in my life.)  My C-pap machine has been changed to a newer and better one; I AM RESTING,  as I was told.  I'm not to have stress in my life right now.  (I told Dr Alabi that if I had any less stress I would be catatonic.)  Medicines have been regulated.  And, I am in the process of having additional testing for my heart.

They have determined that something isn't working correctly with the pumping of the blood flow.  Ween is taking good care of me and we are "holding down the couch" as much as possible.

Please continue the prayers.  Don't be too concerned.  I will keep you posted as to any changes.  I have decided whatever happens is a WIN/WIN situation. And, God is in control.