Contemplation of my life has left me to believe that I am not doing all I can do to help others. Right now I am physically and financially unable to do much of anything, so how can I help? I can pray, encourage, hold their hand, hug, and genuinely be concerned.
Writing this is to relieve some frustrations I have right now. Physically, I hurt all over almost daily; breathing is hard, blood pressure is high, thyroid is not working again, easily bleeding which usually means my blood count is low and the white count is high. MAYO has diagnosed some problems. I still have some testing of my heart to determine why I am having irregular heart beats.
MS has been talked about. Memory loss, all my symptoms previously mentioned, and a few other problems lead me to believe maybe they're right. If they are, it's okay. I just wish I knew for sure.
I'm sorry I couldn't be the wife for Bob he needed. I'm sorry I haven't been the Mother that the boys have needed. And, I'm sorry I haven't been as close to God as I need to be. I'm just tired - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Oh God - hear my prayer.
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