Sunday

I had a severe storm awaken me this morning about 3:30. I don't usually hear storms, but this one was very low and very loud, and as I am still starring into the dark, I thought I'd just blog a little.

I made it through this past week okay. This was the 4th anniversary of Tom's death, and in many ways it was easier than last year, but in many ways so much harder. I don't know how others cope with anything, but I have a tendency to "avoid" unpleasant things in my life. I think somewhere in the back of my mind, if I avoid it, it will go away. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen when someone dies. You have to face those facts straight on; face to face. And, I don't do that well.

I can't honestly say I coped well. I didn't get out of bed much on Friday. I tried to "escape" to somewhere, but I couldn't force myself to leave the condo. I am more able now to "reflect" on events in our lives that we experienced together than I used to be. It's nice to think about the last 8 1/2 years of our marriage. I have found out that every marriage has it's ups and downs, but our last few years were truly blessed with each other. I don't know how Tom would remember them, but I remember the good times and the even crazier times we had. When I would "whine" about something, Tom always said "Sheila! (in his lower voice sound) It will build your character." Well, as anyone who knows much about me, I AM a character. I guess he was right after all.