A New Year

As I look back over this last year, the files of my mind hold so many experiences.  I ended last year, looking toward my life, yet so many unexpected things have transpired on different roads that I never dreamed of traveling down.  

I thought I might be back in school to finish my counseling degree; I wasn't planning on getting married again; I thought I would possibly be moving into a new house with Charles; and, on and on with things that could have happened and didn't, and things thought impossible coming to pass with little or no effort.

I've traveled some; vacationed for over a month; and, enjoyed creating a new life with a new husband.  This has been our first Christmas holiday together.  He spent entirely too much money on me so I've restricted him to only 2 presents at any given occasion.  (We'll see)

This is a picture of Bob resting after having surgery.  (There are some holiday decorations around him)  He's much better and I think anxious to get back to work.  His first day is tomorrow.  He's not sure if he has been reinstated at work, so he may be back home shortly after he leaves.  We'll see.

As I look toward this next year, I am trying to imagine what will be happening.  It's probably a good thing we don't know the future.  There would be nothing to look forward to - and that would be a sad commentary on life.

Merry Christmas

It is "theoretically," as Charles would say, already Christmas.  I am alone, in my living room, on the couch using my new laptop computer that my sons gave me for a present.  I love a MAC and find it so much easier to use than a PC, so I am good to go for using this new toy.

This week has been brutal.  I have worked over 60 hrs, had guests since the 23rd, sung in the processional, shopped, wrapped, walked Joey, tried to cook, ... and the list goes on.  I am exhausted and almost too tired to push down the keys, but I am Oh so grateful for all that God has given me and all the friends and family I will see tomorrow at our place.  

And, even if I never see another Christmas morning, I have already received more than I could ever deserve.  I love my family.  I love being able to work where I work.  I love all the new people I've met lately, but most of all, I feel a sense of peace in my life that had not been there for a while.  Peace is good.  And, my prayer for whoever reads this is that you too will experience the peace that God gives-all we have to do is ask.

Anger

Anger is a waste of energy. I have always believed it, but I try to practice the philosophy and pragmatic attitude that "Life is too short" to waste time and energy on things that do not matter and are not productive. I try to fill each day with positive ideas and things that will be uplift me and others. It even bothers me when I DO waste my time.

With that in mind, I must also say that WHEN I DO GET ANGRY, it is usually because of an injustice either done to me or one of the people closest to me. One of the two or three things that really make me angry is when I am accused of something I haven't done. I have tried to analyze WHY and I have come up with no real answers except I really don't like it. That is exactly what happened to me this past week.

An African American man came up to me this week and wanted to do one of my surveys. I explained that our company's policy is not to do surveys with people who volunteer, and that I must select the people who answer our questions. He stepped even closer into my face, twisted his face in anger and once again said, "I said, I want to do one of your surveys!" I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry sir. But we select people randomly for our surveys. It is company policy not to do surveys with people who volunteer to do them." "Where is your manager?" he asked. I directed him to Guest Services which was to the left of where he was standing. He walked into Guest Services and evidently complained to someone that I was a "Racist" because he wasn't allowed to do a survey.

The bottom line is that I explained it to Guest Services, called our MOD (Manager on Duty) and sent an email to my manager explaining what happened. They all said that I did the right thing and there wasn't any problem with what happened, at least on my part.

Did their statements make me feel better? Somewhat. Did I just forget the incident? Not on your life!

I have always believed that there isn't any one person in this world that I couldn't get along with, my mother excluded. I actually enjoy talking with our guests and walking around the parks all day. It is so neat being part of their "experience" to O-Town. I love hearing their stories of why they are here.

People visit from all over the world and add so much to my knowledge base daily. This man, on the other hand, bothers me even today. I know that I have let his accusation have too much of my valuable time. Being the Type-A personality that I am, I am having a hard time "Letting it go." Was this man for real? Was he a "plant" to see how I would react. It really doesn't matter. Ultimately I am responsible for my behavior only. Even now, I can still see his face "up close and personal" inside my own personal space. I am praying through my attitude and soon I hope the hurt will go away.

I do have one consolation though-My company has a policy that I must wear a name tag attached to the left shoulder of my shirt. For probably only the 2nd time in my almost 3 years of working there, I had forgotten my own name tag. I was wearing the name "Beth" on my shirt.

Poor Beth. I almost feel sorry for her. (My manager laughed out loud when I told her that)

My Mess

The living room is a total disaster; the bedroom has clothes that need to be folded and put away, and there are clothes to be washed. What am I doing? I am sitting here, typing, and ignoring the mess around me. That is very hard for me to do in that I am usually very organized and must have things put away, but for some reason I just have no energy to do any of what needs to be done.

There is still a lot of shopping I need to do and it is getting closer to Christmas every day. Bob has "over" bought and already wrapped the gifts he has and even has some ready to send north. He is doing fine after his surgery but the Dr recommends he stay off until after the first of the year. He is almost to the point of being bored though.

I had friends visit from Pasco on Sat. That was really awesome. I miss my life there, at times. Sometimes I almost feel that now is a dream and that I will awaken one day to find out I'm still teaching and Tom is still alive. I sometimes feel as if I am going through the motions of living this life. I don't know if that is normal, but it is at least what it is. And, I am what I am. Most of the time, that is all I CAN do.

Whew!

He made it through, despite all he thought. It took a little longer than the Dr first expected-a little more repair than originally indicated. And now, we are recouping at home on the couch.

Bob is not a wimp. I just want that noted. He is a ride mechanic and has always done "manly" things. But this pain "thing" is totally new to him. He's not use to NOT doing what he wants; when he wants. And, he can't - YET. I keep reminding him that this will be better soon and the pain will go away. (He's not sure.)

He wanted to get out today so we went to dinner @ Mimi's. It went well, but it was painful to get in and out of the car. I'm hoping he will let me give him some Tylenol PM tonight so that he can sleep. He was very restless last night and did not sleep well. So far, he's only taken 2 Aleve, which I applaud for his not wanting to take medications or get hooked on anything, but he does need to rest.

How long will it take to quit hurting, he asks. If I knew that, I could really make some money. "When it's ready, it will quit" is my answer. That's as close as I can get. He just says, "Mmmm."

(This is Bob recouping-"The Cat" is keeping watch on the back of the couch-all dressed up in his Christmas outfit-and a few decorations in the picture.)

ALONE TIME

The mornings are more friendly to me now. When I was younger, just pulling my "over worked" body out of the sack at the crack of noon was a chore.

Now-I'm quite comfortable with the early morning time especially when I am at the beach. The sound of the waves hitting the shore with the reflection of the sun on the water in the wee hours of the morning relax me more than most anything else I know. This has also become the time of day that I have alone; just for me.

I think. I read. I pray. I study. I answer e-mail. I blog. I like it. I become creative, especially after Bob has gone to work. I have never had much "alone" time during my life. Maybe that is why I like it so much now. I don't really understand why.

When else can you dance to music no one else likes or wants to see you do? When else can you bake and eat anything you want, and no one else knows about all that decadent stuff? When else can you cry out to God and no one else hears you or thinks it's you going off the deep end?

It's all good. It's all beneficial. I think I'll keep this "alone" time just for me. Some would call it selfish. I call it self preservation. And, I not only like it-I need it.

Tomorrow

We've made all the preparations; we've jumped through all the hoops for SW; WE are prepared as WE can be; so what's the problem?

Bob is convinced he will die. I am the one with the positive attitude. He is more of the Eeyore type-"Don't bother to put my tail back on; it will just fall off again." (One of Eeyore's famous sayings) That is Bob.

I personally think he will be fine. If for some unforeseen reason a happening does occur, he will certainly come back and say, "See. I told you so." If anyone could do that, he would.

The picture is of Bob on the last day he worked for BB. He is wearing his alligator costume. I think he should have one to wear all the time. (He never likes my "creative" ideas.) Until tomorrow...

Austin

Even in the midst of all the "goings on" with Bob, the hoops he's having to go through with his work place to have his surgery done on Friday, and trying to get to a performance of candlelight, I had scheduled a birthday celebration with MacKenzie. She is TOTALLY not her sister, and the "fru fru" stuff that the younger one does. does not appeal to her at all. But coming out of HOB when we were celebrating 2 other birthdays, Kenzie saw the D Quest sign and said she would like to do that for her birthday. (I had asked both what they wanted to do, and she had not decided until that very moment) Of course I said, "No problem." And then she asked if she could bring a friend. "Absolutely" was my response.

Her celebration had been scheduled weeks in advance, so it was extremely necessary to me to keep that commitment with her. My schedule has been so crazy lately that I never know exactly what "dates" or "happenings" that I can or cannot make, but this was very important to her and also to me.

To tell the truth, DQ is not one of my favorite places. I'm a "curl up by the fire, eating chili on a cold day and reading a book, kind of person. DQ is E X T R E M E L Y noisy (Large Arcade type place) and my ears are always ringing when I leave there, but a promise is a promise. So she came home with me after early service at church, we changed into play clothes, and drove to DTD.

Her "FRIEND" is Austin. You have to know, this is totally new for her. Boys have always had "cooties" and girls do not associate with them except to play baseball, soccer, or whatever time-of-the-year sport it happens to be. So now, we are 13, and we have a "friend" named Austin.

Cute kid. Polite. AND, I got to go to the 5th floor where the food is, read, sip cappuccino, eat lunch, put my feet up and really relax. I was more than happy to have Austin go with us. Kinzie's last statement was very interesting though - "Aunt Sheila, since we had such a good time with Austin, and he was very well behaved, don't you think we need to include him in more of our trips to the parks?" I think Austin will be a nice addition to our soirees.

ORMC

If you have never had any connection with a medical staff where you live, I suggest you get acquainted. Sooner or later you will need to meet someone to deal with health issues. Fortunately for Bob, I am probably a Number one, Grade A, or even AAA expert on the subject of surgery.

Those who know me, know that I am the Surgery Queen. I take the cake when it comes to surgery, or any other clique you want to use to indicate numerous body invasions. In fact, if the truth be known, I probably have only the necessary parts that my body needs to help it function reasonably well. Let's just say, I can't lose any additional parts and live. (Bob is in good hands with me. [Why do I suddenly feel like I am about to hear an Allstate commerical in the background] .)

As you can probably guess, he has to have surgery. I'm told it is no more serious than taking out tonsils, which I had out when I was 7 and I still remember that fiasco. So let's get serious here.

Surgery is Surgery!!! And I don't mind admitting when I am concerned, even if Bob won't. His comment was "I don't want to "stay" in the hospital. People who "stay" in the hospital die." Those are the only type experiences that he has had. Needless to say, he is preparing for his life to end with this surgery.

I don't even pretend to know what God has planned for his life. I barely know day to day what is going on in mine, but I do know - none of us have any guarantees, even for the next few minutes. And, I'm okay with this for me. But he is not for him.

If you are reading this, and you are a praying person, please remember Bob on Friday, November 30; between 6 and 8 am. You know how surgeries go; they never give exact times. And, if God wills, this man that has dropped into my life for this short period of time will continue to be with me a little longer than he thinks. I don't know if that is good or bad for him, but I know it is definitely good for me.

One more time

Here I go again trying to figure out things, but why is it when you think your life is going in one direction and you "have things figured out" there is a drastic 90 degree angle and you go in another direction. Sometimes, it is even a 180.

I went to a "farewell" party for one of my favorite people yesterday. It was back in the other-county life and got to see old friends and met some new ones. There is always good food and great company so we eat too much and laugh a lot, though there could never be too much of that.

My husband was working and couldn't go so I took a male friend that I worked with at the other place here in O-town. He seemed to have a good time, which he usually does most anywhere he goes. He also got to "unload" with me on the way over which seemed to help him too.

Margaret has been a great friend during the time I have known her. She not only gave me a job when I needed it, but she also came over to O-town a few years ago when I had just gotten over pneumonia and helped some other friends buy, deliver, set up, go to storage and get the decorations and actually decorate a Christmas tree for me. (They even returned the boxes to storage.) They knew it meant a lot to me to have it up and it would make me feel better too.

That is the kind of friends I have. And, you know, you can't buy that for any amount. I am truly blessed.

RUTH

Ruth is a long-time friend that I simply adore. She is talented, capable, knowledgeable and has such a sweet spirit. She is the Director of computer programming for a local county library system. I was her oldest daughter's kindergarten teacher and that's how we first met.

I had lunch with her today. Her husband had meetings here this week and whenever we can, we get together either over in her part of the state or here in mine. Our relationship is not hard to define - she's just there for me whenever I need her.

In the last 25-30 years, we have both lost our parents; I've been divorced and remarried the same man-he died about 6 years ago, and now I'm remarried; her girls are grown and married-she's a grandmother; my sons are grown and I've inherited two granddaughters; life has happened.

She has just finished kemo and is getting ready to do radiation. After that, she faces another mastectomy on her other breast and then reconstruction. She is so real and alive it seems almost impossible to believe she would ever not be here for me.

Once again I am face to face with the frailty of this form we call life. I surveyed a family last year that their seven-year old daughter was in remission from a form of leukemia. The little girl was very positive about her condition, all that happened and how much better she felt. As I talked with her, the mother was standing behind her shaking her head "NO." When the little girl stood up, I saw her t shirt. I believe it said it all - "CANCER SUCKS." She's right. It certainly does.

Hard to be Humble

ONCE UPON A TIME - you know the story about how a simple indentured servant became the "princess" of all times. The 20th was Charles' 35th and Monday was MacKaylas. We celebrated last Sat with the "maiden" voyage of our new grill as my previous comments have indicated.

Saturday was my present to MacKayla - a day at the new Bippity Boppity Boutique in "The Castle" at MK. I had planned to clean out the office when Kayla was getting "glammed up" as I am moving to a new park on the 6th and yesterday was the last day I was officially assigned to MK.

As many things in my life transpire, they don't always happen the way I plan. Her mom had a class that came up at the last minute and as someone had to stay with the "Princess", my plans changed and I got to stay as the Fairy Godmother did her magic.

MacKayla is so cute making her look regal isn't hard but as I watched the orchestration of it all, the "glow" continued to expand until the final results were truly magical.

It was her day. The schedule was to be determined as we went along and she decided to do things she had never done before at MK. Believe it or not, she had never ridden the train. As this didn't seemed to be an activity that would "muss" her hair, we jumped on the train after I cleaned out the office. (She waited for me on a bench as she is not allowed backstage)

As we descended from the train station, we were approached by a member of the "Dream Squad." She asked if we were going to be at MK at 12:55. I said probably not and I could not participate as I am a cast member. She assured me that being a cast member didn't matter in this case and again asked if we were going to be in MK at 12:55. (We were on our way out at the time.)

"Well" she said, "If you WERE to be here at 12:55 you could have an personal audience with Cinderella." MacKayla looked up at me, her mouth and eyes wide open, and we both immediately shook our heads and did a choral version of "YES, WE CAN BE HERE AT 12:55."

We DID lunch at Cosmic Rays and headed back to the prearranged spot. Behind some curtains, a photographer captured her look as we entered Cinderella's space and bathed in her presence. She IS as gracious as she seems and MacKayla was "over the moon" with excitement.

When it was time to leave, Cinderella said she hoped that Princess MacKayla would visit the Magic Kingdom again some time soon. MacKayla's only response as she left was "Perhaps."

Friends and Family

The members of my family and my friends are very important to me. They support me; they pray for me; they love me. Bob has not had good, close family ties so this is all new to him. He doesn't know how to respond most of the time, but he's learning.

Yesterday was Charles' birthday so to "christen" our new gas grill, we threw together a last minute "steak/etc." dinner at our place. As I looked around the table, Bret, Julie, Charles, Bob and I were there eating, talking, relating. M/M (the girls) were close by at the coffee table. Bret is "unofficial" griller and Julie makes a wicked salad. I'm just around to make sure we don't run out of coffee or tea to drink.

I don't know about anyone else, but for me it was a great night. (Oops - We forgot to take a picture BEFORE we cut the cake)

Prayer Changes Things

Being born in July makes me a "crab" sign and I am a lot like that. When "Life Happens" and I have trouble processing, then I crawl into my shell, try to sort all the inputting that is going on, and then come out on the other side with resolutions or processes that I can use. This usually involves prayer. When I can't pray, I can't process. That is where I am now:

• I have just gone through the "shift bid" process at work and I chose to move to another area that I really didn't want to move to, but I asked for the opportunity several months ago to try it, so I have to put up or "shut up" so to speak.
• I went to Brooksville to help Em with all that was involved with moving Marshall's other plane back into his hangar and pick up the Denali that was stored in the hangar. I wasn't much help to her. I was okay until I saw the Cessna and then reality arrived.
• On the way home to Orlando last night my battery light came on. I called Bob and he said to keep driving-if there was any damage it was already done and as long as it ran, I needed to try to get home if possible. The light went off and I made it home. Today as we started to go some place (Bob happened to be off-they messed up his work schedule) the battery light came on and stayed on. He called the Ford place and we took it in to get it checked out. Bob paid the $600.00 bill for me and even put gas in my car one more time this week, not to mention the sundry times he has taken me out to eat the last two weeks.
• Kathryn called and the person responsible for setting up interviews for a job for which I applied isn't even calling me for an interview - they didn't like my resume'.
• In less than 3 days my checking account should be at least $200.00 overdrawn and I won't have any money until the 30th.
• And, last but by no means least, tomorrow is Charles' 35th birthday and I don't even have him a birthday card.

I actually wasn't supposed to be here this week-end. I was scheduled to attend a women's retreat in GA. I couldn't walk off and leave the area as long as we are trying to make sense of Marshall's disappearance. I am going back to Pasco on Monday. We are meeting with the Coast Guard Captain who is bringing all the information they have available regarding Marshall.

How do I process all of this, especially without prayer?

When?

Yesterday my "sister" Emily called me with the news that her brother Marshall's plane was reported missing off the coast of Nassau.

Marshall is a brilliant man who is very thorough and conscientious. He is always in control of any situation. He is NOT a risk taker, nor is he a dare devil.

Reports from the Coast Guard's Search and Rescue Teams have come in indicating the finding of his life raft. They know it is his as he had his name, plane #, and other vital information printed on it. That's how detailed he is.

The newspaper article in the Miami Herald and the Coast Guard have indicated that he was in radio contact with MIA about some turbulence when his airplane signal suddenly disappeared from their radar.

This is a picture of the airplane he was piloting.


Knowing Marshall as I do, I HAVE TO BELIEVE he is waiting for his rescue on some island or in the water attached to a piece of his on-board equipment.

He will want to know what took so long. Me too.

To View or not to view

Yes, We made it. This is the set, or at least the
starting of the set of The View. We were not allowed to use cell phones during the program, and we forgot the camera. This is the only picture I got before they made the announcement to turn off all electronic equipment. It causes static on the program.

Charles explained the concept of the group while we were waiting to go in. Five women sit around and talk about whatever happens to be going on at the time. Whoopi Goldberg, who happens to be a favorite of mine, was the moderator, and Meredith, who I'm told once starred on the program, was back visiting today. The girl who stars in the new "Bionic Woman" TV series, who is actually English, was also there.

It was verrrrrrrrrry interesting; fast pace and at times funny. Charles said I was commenting on each thing they said and I didn't need to do that. I didn't even realize I was doing it. But I did get to ask Whoopi a question - "Is there a movie coming up for you?" She said not right now. She has a radio show and now a TV show, so she doesn't have the time.

There was very little interaction with the audience. Barbara Walters went up to talk with the people in the "balcony" area. It wasn't a balcony but higher level seating. The whole studio probably held 200 people and we were on the front row right beside the set.

What was my take on it? It was something I had never done; I was with Charles, whom I miss; they laughed; they talked; they gave us presents. Would I do it again? ABSOTUTELY!!!

The most shocking thing though, and I know you find this hard to believe, not one person asked for my autograph.

Interesting if not laughable

Just when I think I've seen everything, someone shows up to prove me wrong. I can't quite decide though which is the more interesting of the three. Could it be the person dressed as the Statue of Liberty, face paint, torch and all, or maybe the "cowboy" on the street corner wearing only a cowboy hat, boots, white briefs and strumming a guitar (He charges $1.00 apiece to have your picture taken with him). It could quite possibly be the girl with red, white, blue pasties on her breasts with red, white and blue short, short, short, shorts. I don't know. It's just a toss up. But NY certainly is interesting.

We did a triathlon today of two Broadway shoes, one dinner at an Italian Restaurant with friends of Charles (Trisha/Matthew and 3 children) and even found time to throw in a little shopping. I think the only time I sat down was when I went to the restroom. I DID manage to sneak in a Starbucks or two, which is a MUST as far as I am concerned.

Zanadu last night was phenomenal; Hairspray today was funny; but Wicked tonight was just right down engrossing. They all are so different, yet each one in their own right held me just where they wanted me. I found myself totally engrossed as if I was the only person in the theatre - they were playing to me; just for my enjoyment.

And the wonderful aromas and places to see (Flags in front of Rockefeller Center )- I can hardly wait until tomorrow when I venture out on my own.

We have tickets to see The View. I really haven't seen it, but Charles says it's a good show to visit. Who knows? I could be discovered tomorrow.

I promise I won't forget "the little people" when they put that star on my door.

"Start Spreading The News"

Here I am again; traveling. And, like all the times before, this is my view. We're traveling Continental this time, but the view is the same; just the material of the seat in front of me changes. I DID have more room this trip though - 3 across and the middle seat was empty.

It made the ride very pleasant except for the reparte of the pilot and stewardess from "National Lampoon's vacation" on the loudspeaker -

"We're holding"; "No, we're not holding"; "Please fasten your seat belts and put your seat in an upright position for our impending landing." "Ignore that voice; we're in a holding pattern for the next 20 minutes"; "Oh wait, they've changed their minds; we're getting ready to land." "No. We're on hold again." "You can keep all your electronic equipment on." "No. Wait. Please turn off all electronic equipment and place your seats in an upright position." Well, you get the picture. It got a little ridiculous after many indecisions.

This picture is out the window of the airplane. I thought the clouds looked like snow and the wing looks like a shark or dolphin laying sideways. (I've probably had a lack of oxygen or out of body experience.)

We're staying tonight at the Lucerne at 5th/79th. Very nice place; I didn't ask why but tomorrow we move to the Palace. Tonight we have tickets to see Xanadu. Can't wait.

Tomorrow is brunch at Balthazar - supposedly "THE" place to brunch. I'll have to skip Brooklyn Tabernacle visit this trip; can't do everything I want to do; too much to do; so little time.

The trip from the Newark airport was 2 hrs-through the Lincoln Tunnel. [I think we were actually in Mississippi for a while, but who knows.] It took 45 minutes - It is 8,216 feet long (I looked it up) and we inched along so slowly the driver could moonlight as a turtle.

What is with the fire extinguisher's every so many feet? That can't be a good sign. Makes me want to go "Hmmm."

Another odd thing about the tunnel - There was an American flag hung from the front of the entrance and it had systematic rows of half-moon shaped holes in the flag. I don't know what that was all about. If anyone who reads this knows, please let me know.

I got a great view of the Weehaucken Public Library which is shaped like a chalet from the Swiss Alps. I could have actually checked out books it took so long to get past it.

Taking the cab back from uptown was an experience in itself. I have been in many "interesting" cities and had many "different" drivers, but this driver either has a death wish or he is the last living kamikaze pilot who found himself without a job and migrated to NY just because...

I called Kim and asked her - "Do you know where I am and what I'm doing?" She said - "Yes I do. You are sitting in Time Square and drinking a Venti Cappachino from Starbucks." (I hate that she knows me so well) You gotta love a place that has a Starbucks on every corner, any imaginable show you would ever want to see and never seems to close down. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Communication?

It's hard to plan around conflicting schedules, especially when one of the two individuals don't know WHEN they can get off. As I have said many times, my life is not my own, so when my sons gave me a trip to NY for my birthday, it was already scheduled to coincide with the time Charles was to be there. That schedule was out of my hands.

When the women's retreat set their schedule for October, and I asked Bob if he could get off during October, he said "ABSOLUTELY NOT! This is the time they are redoing the train and no one can get off during this time." So, I asked if he minded if I went to the women's retreat in GA. He said no problem; go for it.

And, when Sherry asked when Bob and I could get off because she and her husband wanted to give us a week-end at the beach for a wedding present, the only time that was for sure available was the 12th/13th. I asked Bob if that would be a good time, and AGAIN, he said he couldn't get off during October. I invited 2 friends from Pasco to come over and spend the time with me at the beach.

I've also had some testing scheduled for this month, and, those are basically the reasons why I took off the whole month.

NOW, it seems Bob IS able to take time off. He has, in fact, already scheduled it. Of course, the first few days are during the time I'm in NY; the next times are when I'm in GA; and, of course, the only week-end he has taken off is the 12th/13th.

What now? The events are already set; the times are in place; how do I placate my husband? I think this is one of those "NO WIN" situations.

One more time

Here I am again-3 am and nothing to do; no parties; no playmates; no work to do (that I want to do) so I'm once again writing to "whom it may inform." Some times "in the scheme of things" as my former principal Rich used to say, life doesn't go as you plan. Choices are always interesting no matter how much information we have going into something, it is not always cut and dried how things will go. That is why I have my list of "Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time."

Under this heading goes:
Dance Lessons
Changing Lights Over the Bed (while standing on the bed)
Going back to school
Retiring from Teaching (jury is still out on this one)
Driving alone on a long distance trip with a small baby
Selling my house
Moving to Orlando
Going back to work full time

Just to name a few.

Why I "wax maudlin" during the early morning hours I don't know. Call it what you will or try to analyze it, it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that when I can't sleep, blogging seems to be what I do to while away my time.

And, oh yes, watching the movies that I've taped and haven't seen while I'm blogging. Right now I'm watching "First Daughter" with Mariel Hemingway. She is an FBI agent protecting the President's daughter on an "Outward Bound" trip in the mtns. I've seen it probably 10 times. Funny thing, it ends the same every time. (Go figure)

That leads me to one clear cut revelation - Why do I do the same things over and over the same way, and expect different results? (Joyce Meyer statement) Human nature? My own stupidity? Either could be the truth, or maybe a little of both. Any way you look at it, I'm still up; I'm still tired; and I have 7 more days until I have the month of Oct off. Wahoo!