D-DAY

Classroom testing, in my opinion, is wasted time and gives you meaningless information.  With all things being even, which they aren't, it MIGHT be helpful to know where to start with sharing information for children to learn.  That would be helpful not the wanted end result.  Tests have a tendency to tell you what a person DOESN'T know, not what they DO know.

ALL PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT WITH DIFFERENT EXPERIENCES, AND LEARN AT DIFFERENT RATES.

With that in mind, I have volunteered to proctor at my local elementary school for the FCAT, which starts today.  Interesting, if not enjoyable.  I don't know if I'm ready to be back in a classroom setting or not.  We'll see.  I haven't been there before today so I this is a new experience for me.  It's like my first day of school.  Wow.  I hope I can find the bathroom.

Summers

The summers were more exciting than the regular school year.  I liked school, don't get me wrong.  I still do.  I love reading, learning, and finding out what I DON'T know.  (There is so much)  Summer was different.  The wake-up time wasn't as early.  My mother still made sure I didn't sleep.  It must have been something in her childhood that made her think that sleeping late was a sin or close to it.  She always had some sort of NOISE factor that would wake me about 8 every morning.  My truly favorite was the washing machine. Why, pray tell, did the washing have to be done on Saturday?  My mother was a "stay at home" Mother and could have washed any time during the week. But, Nooooooooooooooo.  It had to be on Saturday at O:dark 30.

I slept on the second floor.  The washing machine was in the basement three floors away.  How she managed to get that machine loud enough to wake me, I'll never know.  I just know that as an adult, I am very considerate of when I wash my clothes. And, I hate being awaken by loud noises.

Another favorite noise was the tree trimmers.  That was also done at the crack of "chickens waking" on Saturday.  I could never figure that out during my twelve summers of being out of school. (The chickens were annoyed too.)

The important part of Summer was that I got to go to Vacation Bible School at all the different churches in the tiny berg where I lived.  My mother didn't realize that I actually liked going.  What could be better than learning about Jesus, making crafts, eating snacks, seeing friends socially, and not having to do work at the house.    (The Baptist church had the best snacks.)

I also got to wander about in the wooded areas that were there.  I'd climb the hill close to our house; sit on the side and look all around the area.  An aerial view is totally different from ground level views. Big things don't seem as intimidating up there.  And the things you could find - arrowheads, "golden rocks," footprints, each thing was an adventure.

There comes a time when you have to stop going to Vacation Bible School, quit the adventures in the woods, and become an adult.  It's really a shame.  I remember that girl.  She actually enjoyed life.  Poor thing.  She didn't know any better.  I wonder what became of her.

Whole or Healed

Being WHOLE can be compared to the Jewish term "SHALOM."   

(Hebrew word meaning peace, completeness, and welfare and can be used idiomatically to mean both hello and goodbye.  As it does in English, it can refer to either peace between two entities (especially between man and God or between two countries), or to the well-being, welfare or safety of an individual or a group of individuals.)

"Shalom" is usually used for the TOTAL aspect of a life.  That is also what the term "WHOLE" means.  Spiritual, Mental, Physical, Financial; whatever is involved in the "Total Person" is included in being WHOLE.  

Being "HEALED" deals with a process.  Where to start?  What to include?  How to accomplish this goal? I have asked for WHOLENESS. I no longer want to just be healed. I want to be WHOLE!  As a child of the Most High God, this is possible.  

I am asking my "ABBA" Father for WHOLENESS.  I am heir to the Kingdom of God.  He loves me and is in control.  I AM WHOLE!

Ode to Ween

When there is no one to turn to - Ween is there
When I need a partner in crime - Ween is there
When there is a need for someone to help finish my meal - Ween is there
Give me a W; Give me an E; Give me another E; Give me an N
What is the sweetest word I hear - WEEN; WEEN; WEEN.


She is playing my "Saran Wrap" lovie.  She hasn't been more than 18 inches from me since I can came home.  She knows when I am sad and puts her head on my lap; when I hurt, she licks where I hurt without being told; she is kind; she is loving; she doesn't ask for much.  She even forgives when I forget to feed and water her.  How much more can you ask from a companion.  It's true.  The more I learn about men, the more I love my dog.

The Week From ?

The week was not the worst of my life, but it was right up there in the top twenty of all rotten times.  I had 4 days of testing due and ending the week in Jacksonville with April 7 being noted.  Everyone knows the saying goes, "Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men often go astray."

Monday was to be a rest day from the "crazy" cruise and visit to EPCOT, etc. That was blown when I discovered I needed to do about a "Gadzillion" errands before I had to leave - pick up a prescription, dog food at the health food store, allergy shots, and the list goes on.

Tuesday tests from the neurologist.  I was there early, made to wait for testing - 45 minutes of listening to the receptionist and the "tester" person eject the Spanish language about a guy that neither one liked, but he was fun sometimes. The actual test took about 20 minutes. Diagnosis was carpal tunnel in both hands, pinched nerve in the neck, and an extreme deficiency of B12. Now I had another errand to get the sublingual B12 tablets.  (It took several stops to find them.)

More errands, wash clothes, drop off Ween to Bob, report to Celebration Hospital for a sleep study.  I had to sleep on my back, which I don't do well, so needless to say, I didn't rest well.  "Escaped" around 5:30, ran home and tried to wash the "glue" out of my hair, dressed for trip to Pasco for the eye specialist.  Also had to pack for the next 4 days as I was going to JAX after St Lukes test.

It took 2 hrs to get to St Lukes, traffic was horrendous on Hillsborough. Arrived around 9:30 for a 10:00 appointment.  After 5 minutes with ear specialist, he said he couldn't test me as I had said "Yes" to one of the questions and it was against the law for him to test me if I answered Yes to any of the questions on the paper I filled out.  Soooooooooooooo, it's 10:05 and my next appointment was 11:00.  After waiting until 11:30, one of the people there dilated my pupils again (which they said they were not going to do) and looked at my pupils again.  I had to wait to see the other doctor.  At 12:30 I decided I was too tired and too sick to deal with these people any more.  I told the receptionist that I had to leave. As I had not eaten all day, I called Vicki and met her at A & W Root Beer to get a hot dog, which sounded wonderful.  She had the girls, but it was great to see them.

My pupils were finally somewhat recovered and I decided to go home.  Called MAYO cancelled my appts and text Aida I wasn't coming.  After almost 2 1/2 hrs of gruelling traffic - wrecks all over I-275 and I-4 in Tampa.  Traffic was backed up over the Howard Franklin South, and way past entrance to I-4 to the North.  What a mess.  I took a "short cut" around Tampa and it only took about 45 minutes.  Outside of Tampa, traffic cleared and I made it to Bob's to pick up Ween in about 1 hr.

Ween and I were so happy to see each other, I went straight home and we both went to bed snuggling.  Thank God I have her.  She is so much company.

We went to Sonny's with Julie and Bret and girls Friday night.  I got sick and haven't felt well since. The last few times I've gone to Sonny's I've gotten sick.  I must eat too much.

My vision isn't good right now.  I don't know what makes the difference but I'm having trouble driving and watching TV.  Even typing this blog, I'm having trouble reading what I'm typing.  It's a good thing I have a spell checker and can touch type.

I don't know what is wrong.  I don't know what needs to be done, but I'm done testing.  I can't do this any more.  God has to do something.

Interesting If Not Enjoyable

Ten years ago I came a home from church and found my husband of 35 years dead on our bedroom floor. I knew my life would change, but I didn't realize how much.

During this time, I've made good choices and some not so good. It has certainly been interesting. In talking with Tom this week he made the statement that it seemed like another lifetime.

 In some ways it was another me and another place and time. In some ways I am not the person I used to be. I can only speculate Who I would have been. Certainly not remarried or maybe not even in Orlando, only God knows for sure. If God lets me live another 10 years, I'm sure that time will also "INTESTING, IF NOT ENJOYABLE.". (That was one of my favorite Tomisms.)

If It's Tuesday It Must Be Orlando

Two more days until my "AMA MARATHON."  Resting last week on the cruise was great but hitting the road running is the agenda for next week.

TUESDAY is my neurologist's testing.  I've been told to allow 2 hrs for this testing.  I also have to squeeze shopping, a haircut, laundry from the trip, take Ween to have her groomed, and anything else that needs to be done before I leave.

WEDNESDAY is getting Ween to Bob, who is supposed to be taking care of her while I am gone.  I would prefer taking her, but I can't figure out a way to do that.  A third sleep study test is on the agenda, but I don't have to be there before 8:00 pm.  My pulmonary doctor thinks my Bi-Pap machine needs to be adjusted.  It will also be my "cleanup" day to leave the apartment in good shape before I leave.

THURSDAY I'm in Pasco County having eye and ear testing.  St Lukes is one of the foremost eye clinics in the world.  Dr Gills has been on the "cutting edge" (no pun intended) of cataract surgery for the last 20 or 30 years.  My optometrist did not like what he saw on the last visit so he's doing further testing.  They also give hearing tests which is convenient as I actually do need to have one done. Killing two birds with one stone as the saying goes. Right now I'm planning to stay in Pasco with either Vicki or Kali, not sure which.  Kali wants to go to JAX so I may stay there and leave for Mayo early the next morning.  Plans are still up in the air for now.  It's a good thing I'm flexible.

FRIDAY a trip to JAX to Mayo.  I'm seeing my orthopedic doctor and bariatric nutritionist.  I don't look forward to seeing my nutritionist.  She has a soft voice but "chews me out" in a nice way. Having trouble with my back necessitates seeing the orthopedic doctor. It's not the bone spur that is the problem now, it's the other side and my spine.  If Kali goes, we'll probably stay on the beach.  If not, I'll stay with Aida and her kids; Always a great time.

SATURDAY is the 10th anniversary of Tom's death.  I always "hide out" on this day.  JAX beach is a great place to get lost.

That's my schedule.  If they can't find anything this time, I'm done.  I'm tired of the testing and the term "Well, it could be ..." I'll just tag myself a hypochondriac and be done with it. I'll have to come home to rest with Ween as my faithful companion.

What do I know

Welcoming Banner

THE FANTASY

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do, and when I get to travel with "the relative I can't mention," it is always first class and more.  This ship is named THE FANTASY, and it pretty much is just that-A real fantasy time.  Anything, and Everything.

Chandelier in Rotunda

The Boss and Me

If you are a cruiser, then Disney is the only way to sail.  Lush facilities, wonderful scrumptious food, music, activities for all ages, and an adult area if you don't feel the need to have children as part of your agenda.

Lunch at Enchanted Gardens

Disney is noted for their shows and fireworks at the parks, but the ship has not been left out-elaborate entertainment every night, with a full-blown fireworks show off the aft end.  Such amazing sites are available.

Welcome Drink

Having enough food on this cruise is not a problem either.  I ate at the Royal Court Restaurant for breakfast the second morning-Ham and cheese omelet, croissant, sausages, coffee, juice and a cappuccino to add to the experience.  There was so much to choose from it was hard to decide.  "How many different types of muffins, filled pastries, donuts, breads, can you possibly have?"  If you don't see it, ask for it and they probably have it available.

Room service menu is minimal, but they will fix ANYTHING they have if you want it.  I did a continental breakfast one morning, and a cheeseburger for lunch one day, but pretty much ate everything else in the restaurants.  First night was Royal Court and I ordered a duck appetizer, french onion soup, braised lamb with au gratin potatoes, green beans, and creme brulee for desert.  I also tasted someones escargot, and it was De licious.  Art decided I need my own experience so he ordered one for me.  I was so full I WADDLED out the door and moaned for several hours afterward.

Animator's Palate Show

Next night was Animator's Palate.  Wonderful breads and dips, appetizer trio with shrimp, ahi tuna, and prosciutto on a rectangular plate, popcorn soup that was the consistency of she crab soup only without the sherry with a small container of carmel corn to add to the soup, a type of "johnny cake" that they called cornbread, also a lobster entree with a green bean veggies , venison slices with purple slaw, dessert trio of cheesecake, banana creme brulee, and strawberry shortcake.  These were in small individual bowls on a rectangular dish similar to the appetizer.

Enchanted Garden was the last night. I had a chicken breast and a baked potato.  I was so full from overeating each day, I could only manage half of that.  Like I said, more food than you can imagine.

Castaway Cay

I've pretty much decided I'm not a cruiser.  My bathroom at home is decidedly larger.  I don't have to travel AFT or FORWARD for a mile outside my bedroom to get anywhere I want to be. And, I can raid my refrigerator when I want some snacky stuff. (Not necessary on ship) But most of all - my "FOOT WARMER" can also serve as a "face washer" all in one package.

It's not possible to remember everything even with notes, but this is a slight overview of the 4 days.  I was soooo glad to get home and so was my "saran wrap" dog.  I think she missed me.  I haven't told her about being gone next week.  We'll just surprise her.

THIS IS 'JUST' A TEST

Falling out of the shower wasn't exactly my idea of how to start the day, but too much soap can actually cause you to slip.  DUH!  Anyway, I don't think anything was damaged.

"The person I'm not supposed to mention" took me to St Luke's Eye Clinic in Tarpon Springs on Friday.  We were there 4 hrs.  I thought they would NEVER get finished.  I knew they were going to dilate my pupils, that is why HE went.  But twice?  I found out a few things - Cataracts, on both eyes; no big deal.  The Doctor also discovered I have the beginning of Macular Degeneration.  AND, I need new glasses.  Whew.  He also didn't like what he saw on the lining of my eye.  I have to go back for more testing.  I DID get to have a quick lunch with Vicki, one of my friends in New Port Richey.

Being in church yesterday was a real treat.  I haven't been able to attend for a long time. We are between pastors, but it sounds like they are ready to decide-four men are being considered.  The youth minister spoke and did a nice job.

The Elders search for a potential pastor and narrow it down to several people.  The Elders are the ones who decide.  The congregation doesn't actually have much to say about who is selected. This is different than I've experienced.  My former churches decided by letting the congregation hear each candidate.  (Usually about 3 or 4)  Then the congregation votes, with the district superintendent having the final say.

This past week was better physically for me; not much pain-feeling better than I have been for a very lonnnnng time.  I didn't have to take naps to keep up the energy and get rid of the aches.  I don't know why; maybe the new meds they are giving me actually "kicked in."   I've gotten some work done here at home.  For whatever reason, I'm grateful.  I really don't know how bad I feel until the pain is gone.

Today was the first day of a set of three tests with "nuclear" medicine.  My "relative I can't mention" took me.  All my guys and friends have been awesome.  "He" had to drive back. I had a "slight" reaction to the shot; nausea, aching, and upset stomach.  I was there almost 1 1/2 hrs, for a ten-minute procedure.  Getting ready was the biggest part. Tomorrow and Wed, the "scans" will take about an hr each.  It is supposed to reveal any abnormalities in my body - tumor, infection, whatever.  Wonder what it will show in my brain?

The technician said I should stay away from the dog.  She says that it is recommended not to be close to babies or animals.  Ween is not happy about me not petting her.  Wait until she finds out she can't sleep on the bed tonight.  She will NOT be a happy camper.

Friday I  am supposed to go to MAYO in Jax.  This is the first time since December.  I'm taking paperwork to see if I can get a "charity" notation so that I can HOPEFULLY have my surgery in Jax.  The surgery is on hold anyway because of my heart and lung problems. Who knows?  I just try to take one day at a time.

Resting on the couch and starting to feel better.  I have to eat light because of the tests. I'm marinading chicken and will bake it.  That should be okay.  God is good.

D I V O R C E

Divorce is a travesty to God's plan and yet I am once again faced with the decision to do just that.  I gave Bob "preliminary" divorce papers for some information that needed to be filled out on the pages before it is filed.  He didn't seem surprised.  He's hard to read at times so I don't know exactly how he feels but he filled in the blanks and handed it back to me.

Yesterday was our 5th anniversary.  (Happy Anniversary)  We've been separated almost 3 years.  In order for me to not feel in limbo, I  think this is the next step in our relationship.  I really don't know whether he doesn't want to be married or he just doesn't want to be married to me.  He will not discuss anything with me.

Where does that leave me now?  Pretty much just as I have been yet I won't be married.  I pray this is the right decision.  I don't know what else to do.

One upper that I have to look forward to in the near future is the cruise on THE FANTASY. WAHOO!!!

I AM BLESSED

"The relative I'm not supposed to mention" just text me and asked if I wanted to go on the new Disney Ship, The Fantasy, for the maiden voyage.  DUH!  

Lobby of THE DREAM

I was privileged to go on the maiden voyage of the last ship, The Dream, and it was fantastic.  I can't wait to see the new one the last of the month.

REMEMBERING

Loss of a loved one can be devastating for someone.  The loss of a celebrity affects everyone.  Whitney Houston, Davy Jones, and Robert Sherman are three people who have recently died.  Robert Sherman is probably the least know of the three.  He and his brother Richard wrote so many songs and shows for Disney, I can only begin to list them.  Mary Poppins,  Jungle Book, The Aristocats, and the list goes on and on.

Whitney Houston was every one's favorite darling- songs, movies, directing; so much talent and gone entirely too soon.  I did not have the pleasure of seeing her in person, but enjoying her music was a past time for me.  The nation mourns with her family.


But Davy Jones was someone I had seen in concert many times.  He usually came for Disney's FLOWER AND GARDEN SHOW in the Spring.  He was a true showman.  These pictures were from his 2009 show.  Cute, personable, talented.  I enjoyed all his concerts.  Saying goodbye is always hard, for any reason. Not only will his family miss him, our world will miss him and his music, for music makes the world go around and lightens your heart. His did both.

FOOTNOTE:
Just found out that for Flower and Garden Davy's former partner in the Monkeys, Mickey Dolenz, will be taking Davy's place.  This will be a great way to honor Davy.

Change?

Over the years, I have had many, many "Charles" in my life.  Starting with my brother Charles, dated 3 or 4 Charles, engaged to a Charles, named my natural born son Charles, and my roommate Charles.

My backyard

Today is Charles Pugh's birthday (former engaged person).  Why have I remembered this date for over 40 years - I REALLY don't know for sure.  It's just one of those unimportant facts I have stored in my memory chip for a brain. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to change memory chips as easily as you can change SIM cards?  I would be sooooo smart and up to date on all my facts.  This could be a project for the Cupertino area of the world.

Yesterday I went to my pulmonary specialist.  My breathing capacity has gone down from February's test.  I asked what that meant and he said it meant I wasn't breathing well.  WELL, DUH! That's why I'm going to him in the first place.  So, I'm in for another round of testing with him.  I wonder - is there a limit to the number of tests a body can stand?  I bet I reached my limit a looooooooonnnnnnnnng time ago.  Oh well. Here we go again.  (I have a blood test tomorrow.  I hope I pass.  I better go study for it.)

Quiet Is Good

So far this week, it has been quiet in my corner of the world.  I only have one doctor's appointment and a blood test.  No doctors for Mock.  (Whew)

Ween is sleeping after a mid-morning breakfast of Doggie Food and licking my yogurt container.  I've decided not to feed her anything connected with "People Food."

We have been walking as much as possible, which is not far for me but we're building time and distance each day.

Yesterday was an exceptional day for me.  I went "shopping" for clothes; alone.  I DID have Barb on speed dial, just in case.  We figured out that I had not had any new clothes since she was down here the last time, which was over a year, maybe two.  I know "holes" in your jeans is again the "in" thing, but it's not my "in thing."  I finally found 3 pair of pants at Kohls and immediately quit.  That is more shopping than I want to do at any time.  I also had my allergy shots, did some grocery shopping, picked up some "drugs" from Target, and went to Honey Baked to purchase some Ham.

One of the problems with feeling good is that I try to make up for time lost and I usually feel bad the next day.  Today is an okay day.  Maybe I'm finally coming out of this "unhealthy" era I have been in for a while.  I certainly hope so. In any case, God is still good and in control.  I'm thankful for that.

Another Doctor

The appointment with the new Dr was Tuesday.  He's okay.  He wants to do more testing-blood work, nerve endings, and who knows what else.

He made several suggestions as to "WHAT" could be wrong - A-Z, but nothing definite until the testing is done.  It could be as simple as a B-12 deficiency.  That would be great and a quick fix.  We'll see.

I am so "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired."  I know that's a clique, but so fitting; and never being able to plan anything.

I am praying for healing - TOTAL.

Anniversary Plus

We finally got Julie and Bret to celebrate their anniversary, but it will be on Friday and Saturday.  The even better upside of the celebration is that I get to party with the girls. YAHHHHHHHH!  I so enjoy them and love to spoil them when I can.  They are turning into such wonderful young ladies.  They are definitely not children any more.  They are so beautiful - inside and out.  I love them so much.

Girls At a Concert; a while ago.

Ween loves having them here too.  They show her so much attention, and of course she hates that and always wants to sleep with them so that will be a highlight too.

What to do.  What to do.  So many choices; so little time.  (WAHOO)

Casting Crowns

Being unable to "schedule" things in my life is EXTREMELY frustrating to me.  My life is so much easier when I have a schedule and can stick to it. I am told I have CONTROL ISSUES.  I don't see it but I have always been able to do so many things - concerts, games, parties, etc. Now I can't.  I WANT to go.  I have even gotten ready to go. Then my body shuts down. Today was one of those days.  


One of my favorite groups was in town - CASTING CROWNS.  Awesome group.  The "relative I can't mention" had tickets, of course, and I was going to go.  I had until 3:00 to decide.  Trying to do too much, when you finally feel well, has always been a problem with me. Tom always said I "overbooked my time."  That hasn't changed much except I don't have the energy I once had, and I think I still do. Oh well.  


I am blessed in so many ways, I really haven't anything to complain about and so I won't.  Thank you God for all you have given me.  You are an awesome God.

Every Four Years

Celebrating my birthday or anniversary every four years would just be a big BUMMER in my estimation.  I can't even imagine not getting presents or at least some sort of recognition for my birthday, so when Julie and Bret say "Its' no big deal to not celebrate on the date every year" I was surprised.


I say it's a very big deal so I, personally, believe they should REALLY "Party" for their anniversary next Wednesday.  The relative I can't mention suggested a night at one of the "Theme Park" resorts.  Sounds good to me.  I hope Bret agrees, but if not, it's their anniversary not mine. They are so much a part of our lives, I can't remember when they weren't here, so I want to help them any way I can.  We'll see.


The question is "If you only celebrate every four years is that the opposite of "Dog Years?"  If you were born in say 2,000 are you only 6?  If that's the case, I really wish my birthday was on Feb 29.  I could relive those extra years.  Maybe I'd make better decisions.  As Julie would say, "Makes you want to say Hmmmmm."

Wow

Imagine the surprise when I checked on my bank account today and my money from IRS was there.  It's not a lot, but I finally feel like I'm digging out of the financial hole that I have been living in for the last 3 years.  God is good.  It's taken a while, but I realize more and more that my decisions, bad or good, have a direct affect on what happens next.  WOW.  I think I finally get it.  It's only taken over 40 years and lots of mistakes.  I really hope I remember this lesson.  I don't want to go through it again.  His rainbow is a sign of the end of the storm.  I believe in rainbows.  Thank you God.

Is this my life?

It seems like every week, I see more doctors and have additional tests.  What do they do with all that blood they take? Where do the x-rays finally end up?  And, what exactly is a CAT SCAN?  (I don't even have a cat.)  Do they do DOG SCANs?  And, what is with the "Waking you up to give you sleeping meds?"

John Gedding
HGTV

This week has been a "feel good" week.  One of my doctors has put me back on predinsone.  I hate the "eating like a hog" effect that usually results, but I usually feel so much better.  Yet, I felt better BEFORE I even started the meds.  Maybe it's been the anticipation of new meds.

The family member I can't name just came back from CA.  I wanted to go, but Drs won't let me do much right now.

He did send me a photo of one of my favorite HGTV's stars.

Tom, who has just moved to San Fran, sent me 2 doz BEAUTIFUL tulips; all sorts of spring colors.  His note said the flowers were a consolidation prize for not getting to come to CA.  Whatever reason, I'll take flowers any day of the week.  God is good.