APPARENTLY

Communication is vital in any relationship, especially marriage. According to my husband, I "wig" out over a lot of little things.

He called an old girl friend this week and I got upset about it. During his conversation, he "implied" some things to her that I "mistook" and wigged out over nothing, according to him.

Maybe he is right. Maybe I do tend to "blow things way out of proportion" at times. This probably stems from lifelong experiences of "misunderstandings", especially within my family.

I am a total sum of all my experiences, but I also believe that you can change your outlook and attitude from a negative to a positive. He says I want to change him. I'm not sure that is totally true, but there are some things I would like him to do that he doesn't do.

Marriage is about compromise and clarification. I truly believe this. I DO ask a lot of questions and he could be partially right about most of the things he said. I like to "get things out" on the table and talk about it. He wants to ignore "the elephant" in the room and go on without ever finding out why it is there.

Did I mention that we had this discussion at 3 am this morning? He worked 14 hours yesterday, and is having to do it again today. I was out of town until today. This could be some of the problem also. There is no time to communicate. According to him, he does what is expedient. He doesn't have time to have a discussion over every little matter. And, I like to discuss everything.

Feelings are another different ballgame, so to speak. He has become such an integral part of my life, I can't imagine he NOT being here. I have been up since around 2. Even the "Frappachinos" aren't helping right now.

I soon have to shower and get ready for work. Hammering out the problems can be a long process, and I guess I want a "quick fix." But, I don't think it going to be any time soon. Hopefully we can agree to disagree and go on. This might be all we can do for right now. (This marriage thing is hard work.)