June 2 I would have been married for 39 years, had my husband lived. That is cause to reflect on how my life is going now. My son is traveling a lot and I'm here by myself. He's going to be in NY for a few days, and he's even going back to Hong Kong.
This is NOT the life I would have chosen, if I could have chosen it, but it is a good life. I live in a nice 3-bedroom condo with my youngest son; in one of the busiest "happening" cities in the US; wonderful job; mustang convertible; great friends and yet...
I miss being part of a family - the Sunday dinners; the holidays; the calls; the "togetherness" of people being in your life and part of your life. I miss being married - a partner to do things with and for; to go places with and experiences of just every-day life. And, I guess what I miss a lot more than I would easily admit - direction and purpose to my life. I sound like a "whinny" person, right? I guess I am. My friend Jeff says that I'm spoiled and he calls me a "brat". And, maybe that is true too.
I DO have a lot to be thankful for and when it comes down to it, I guess that is more important than what I DON'T have. Jeff is right - I am spoiled. I hate it when he's right.
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