If It's Tuesday It Must Be Orlando

Two more days until my "AMA MARATHON."  Resting last week on the cruise was great but hitting the road running is the agenda for next week.

TUESDAY is my neurologist's testing.  I've been told to allow 2 hrs for this testing.  I also have to squeeze shopping, a haircut, laundry from the trip, take Ween to have her groomed, and anything else that needs to be done before I leave.

WEDNESDAY is getting Ween to Bob, who is supposed to be taking care of her while I am gone.  I would prefer taking her, but I can't figure out a way to do that.  A third sleep study test is on the agenda, but I don't have to be there before 8:00 pm.  My pulmonary doctor thinks my Bi-Pap machine needs to be adjusted.  It will also be my "cleanup" day to leave the apartment in good shape before I leave.

THURSDAY I'm in Pasco County having eye and ear testing.  St Lukes is one of the foremost eye clinics in the world.  Dr Gills has been on the "cutting edge" (no pun intended) of cataract surgery for the last 20 or 30 years.  My optometrist did not like what he saw on the last visit so he's doing further testing.  They also give hearing tests which is convenient as I actually do need to have one done. Killing two birds with one stone as the saying goes. Right now I'm planning to stay in Pasco with either Vicki or Kali, not sure which.  Kali wants to go to JAX so I may stay there and leave for Mayo early the next morning.  Plans are still up in the air for now.  It's a good thing I'm flexible.

FRIDAY a trip to JAX to Mayo.  I'm seeing my orthopedic doctor and bariatric nutritionist.  I don't look forward to seeing my nutritionist.  She has a soft voice but "chews me out" in a nice way. Having trouble with my back necessitates seeing the orthopedic doctor. It's not the bone spur that is the problem now, it's the other side and my spine.  If Kali goes, we'll probably stay on the beach.  If not, I'll stay with Aida and her kids; Always a great time.

SATURDAY is the 10th anniversary of Tom's death.  I always "hide out" on this day.  JAX beach is a great place to get lost.

That's my schedule.  If they can't find anything this time, I'm done.  I'm tired of the testing and the term "Well, it could be ..." I'll just tag myself a hypochondriac and be done with it. I'll have to come home to rest with Ween as my faithful companion.

What do I know

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THE FANTASY

Traveling is one of my favorite things to do, and when I get to travel with "the relative I can't mention," it is always first class and more.  This ship is named THE FANTASY, and it pretty much is just that-A real fantasy time.  Anything, and Everything.

Chandelier in Rotunda

The Boss and Me

If you are a cruiser, then Disney is the only way to sail.  Lush facilities, wonderful scrumptious food, music, activities for all ages, and an adult area if you don't feel the need to have children as part of your agenda.

Lunch at Enchanted Gardens

Disney is noted for their shows and fireworks at the parks, but the ship has not been left out-elaborate entertainment every night, with a full-blown fireworks show off the aft end.  Such amazing sites are available.

Welcome Drink

Having enough food on this cruise is not a problem either.  I ate at the Royal Court Restaurant for breakfast the second morning-Ham and cheese omelet, croissant, sausages, coffee, juice and a cappuccino to add to the experience.  There was so much to choose from it was hard to decide.  "How many different types of muffins, filled pastries, donuts, breads, can you possibly have?"  If you don't see it, ask for it and they probably have it available.

Room service menu is minimal, but they will fix ANYTHING they have if you want it.  I did a continental breakfast one morning, and a cheeseburger for lunch one day, but pretty much ate everything else in the restaurants.  First night was Royal Court and I ordered a duck appetizer, french onion soup, braised lamb with au gratin potatoes, green beans, and creme brulee for desert.  I also tasted someones escargot, and it was De licious.  Art decided I need my own experience so he ordered one for me.  I was so full I WADDLED out the door and moaned for several hours afterward.

Animator's Palate Show

Next night was Animator's Palate.  Wonderful breads and dips, appetizer trio with shrimp, ahi tuna, and prosciutto on a rectangular plate, popcorn soup that was the consistency of she crab soup only without the sherry with a small container of carmel corn to add to the soup, a type of "johnny cake" that they called cornbread, also a lobster entree with a green bean veggies , venison slices with purple slaw, dessert trio of cheesecake, banana creme brulee, and strawberry shortcake.  These were in small individual bowls on a rectangular dish similar to the appetizer.

Enchanted Garden was the last night. I had a chicken breast and a baked potato.  I was so full from overeating each day, I could only manage half of that.  Like I said, more food than you can imagine.

Castaway Cay

I've pretty much decided I'm not a cruiser.  My bathroom at home is decidedly larger.  I don't have to travel AFT or FORWARD for a mile outside my bedroom to get anywhere I want to be. And, I can raid my refrigerator when I want some snacky stuff. (Not necessary on ship) But most of all - my "FOOT WARMER" can also serve as a "face washer" all in one package.

It's not possible to remember everything even with notes, but this is a slight overview of the 4 days.  I was soooo glad to get home and so was my "saran wrap" dog.  I think she missed me.  I haven't told her about being gone next week.  We'll just surprise her.

THIS IS 'JUST' A TEST

Falling out of the shower wasn't exactly my idea of how to start the day, but too much soap can actually cause you to slip.  DUH!  Anyway, I don't think anything was damaged.

"The person I'm not supposed to mention" took me to St Luke's Eye Clinic in Tarpon Springs on Friday.  We were there 4 hrs.  I thought they would NEVER get finished.  I knew they were going to dilate my pupils, that is why HE went.  But twice?  I found out a few things - Cataracts, on both eyes; no big deal.  The Doctor also discovered I have the beginning of Macular Degeneration.  AND, I need new glasses.  Whew.  He also didn't like what he saw on the lining of my eye.  I have to go back for more testing.  I DID get to have a quick lunch with Vicki, one of my friends in New Port Richey.

Being in church yesterday was a real treat.  I haven't been able to attend for a long time. We are between pastors, but it sounds like they are ready to decide-four men are being considered.  The youth minister spoke and did a nice job.

The Elders search for a potential pastor and narrow it down to several people.  The Elders are the ones who decide.  The congregation doesn't actually have much to say about who is selected. This is different than I've experienced.  My former churches decided by letting the congregation hear each candidate.  (Usually about 3 or 4)  Then the congregation votes, with the district superintendent having the final say.

This past week was better physically for me; not much pain-feeling better than I have been for a very lonnnnng time.  I didn't have to take naps to keep up the energy and get rid of the aches.  I don't know why; maybe the new meds they are giving me actually "kicked in."   I've gotten some work done here at home.  For whatever reason, I'm grateful.  I really don't know how bad I feel until the pain is gone.

Today was the first day of a set of three tests with "nuclear" medicine.  My "relative I can't mention" took me.  All my guys and friends have been awesome.  "He" had to drive back. I had a "slight" reaction to the shot; nausea, aching, and upset stomach.  I was there almost 1 1/2 hrs, for a ten-minute procedure.  Getting ready was the biggest part. Tomorrow and Wed, the "scans" will take about an hr each.  It is supposed to reveal any abnormalities in my body - tumor, infection, whatever.  Wonder what it will show in my brain?

The technician said I should stay away from the dog.  She says that it is recommended not to be close to babies or animals.  Ween is not happy about me not petting her.  Wait until she finds out she can't sleep on the bed tonight.  She will NOT be a happy camper.

Friday I  am supposed to go to MAYO in Jax.  This is the first time since December.  I'm taking paperwork to see if I can get a "charity" notation so that I can HOPEFULLY have my surgery in Jax.  The surgery is on hold anyway because of my heart and lung problems. Who knows?  I just try to take one day at a time.

Resting on the couch and starting to feel better.  I have to eat light because of the tests. I'm marinading chicken and will bake it.  That should be okay.  God is good.

D I V O R C E

Divorce is a travesty to God's plan and yet I am once again faced with the decision to do just that.  I gave Bob "preliminary" divorce papers for some information that needed to be filled out on the pages before it is filed.  He didn't seem surprised.  He's hard to read at times so I don't know exactly how he feels but he filled in the blanks and handed it back to me.

Yesterday was our 5th anniversary.  (Happy Anniversary)  We've been separated almost 3 years.  In order for me to not feel in limbo, I  think this is the next step in our relationship.  I really don't know whether he doesn't want to be married or he just doesn't want to be married to me.  He will not discuss anything with me.

Where does that leave me now?  Pretty much just as I have been yet I won't be married.  I pray this is the right decision.  I don't know what else to do.

One upper that I have to look forward to in the near future is the cruise on THE FANTASY. WAHOO!!!

I AM BLESSED

"The relative I'm not supposed to mention" just text me and asked if I wanted to go on the new Disney Ship, The Fantasy, for the maiden voyage.  DUH!  

Lobby of THE DREAM

I was privileged to go on the maiden voyage of the last ship, The Dream, and it was fantastic.  I can't wait to see the new one the last of the month.

REMEMBERING

Loss of a loved one can be devastating for someone.  The loss of a celebrity affects everyone.  Whitney Houston, Davy Jones, and Robert Sherman are three people who have recently died.  Robert Sherman is probably the least know of the three.  He and his brother Richard wrote so many songs and shows for Disney, I can only begin to list them.  Mary Poppins,  Jungle Book, The Aristocats, and the list goes on and on.

Whitney Houston was every one's favorite darling- songs, movies, directing; so much talent and gone entirely too soon.  I did not have the pleasure of seeing her in person, but enjoying her music was a past time for me.  The nation mourns with her family.


But Davy Jones was someone I had seen in concert many times.  He usually came for Disney's FLOWER AND GARDEN SHOW in the Spring.  He was a true showman.  These pictures were from his 2009 show.  Cute, personable, talented.  I enjoyed all his concerts.  Saying goodbye is always hard, for any reason. Not only will his family miss him, our world will miss him and his music, for music makes the world go around and lightens your heart. His did both.

FOOTNOTE:
Just found out that for Flower and Garden Davy's former partner in the Monkeys, Mickey Dolenz, will be taking Davy's place.  This will be a great way to honor Davy.

Change?

Over the years, I have had many, many "Charles" in my life.  Starting with my brother Charles, dated 3 or 4 Charles, engaged to a Charles, named my natural born son Charles, and my roommate Charles.

My backyard

Today is Charles Pugh's birthday (former engaged person).  Why have I remembered this date for over 40 years - I REALLY don't know for sure.  It's just one of those unimportant facts I have stored in my memory chip for a brain. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to change memory chips as easily as you can change SIM cards?  I would be sooooo smart and up to date on all my facts.  This could be a project for the Cupertino area of the world.

Yesterday I went to my pulmonary specialist.  My breathing capacity has gone down from February's test.  I asked what that meant and he said it meant I wasn't breathing well.  WELL, DUH! That's why I'm going to him in the first place.  So, I'm in for another round of testing with him.  I wonder - is there a limit to the number of tests a body can stand?  I bet I reached my limit a looooooooonnnnnnnnng time ago.  Oh well. Here we go again.  (I have a blood test tomorrow.  I hope I pass.  I better go study for it.)

Quiet Is Good

So far this week, it has been quiet in my corner of the world.  I only have one doctor's appointment and a blood test.  No doctors for Mock.  (Whew)

Ween is sleeping after a mid-morning breakfast of Doggie Food and licking my yogurt container.  I've decided not to feed her anything connected with "People Food."

We have been walking as much as possible, which is not far for me but we're building time and distance each day.

Yesterday was an exceptional day for me.  I went "shopping" for clothes; alone.  I DID have Barb on speed dial, just in case.  We figured out that I had not had any new clothes since she was down here the last time, which was over a year, maybe two.  I know "holes" in your jeans is again the "in" thing, but it's not my "in thing."  I finally found 3 pair of pants at Kohls and immediately quit.  That is more shopping than I want to do at any time.  I also had my allergy shots, did some grocery shopping, picked up some "drugs" from Target, and went to Honey Baked to purchase some Ham.

One of the problems with feeling good is that I try to make up for time lost and I usually feel bad the next day.  Today is an okay day.  Maybe I'm finally coming out of this "unhealthy" era I have been in for a while.  I certainly hope so. In any case, God is still good and in control.  I'm thankful for that.

Another Doctor

The appointment with the new Dr was Tuesday.  He's okay.  He wants to do more testing-blood work, nerve endings, and who knows what else.

He made several suggestions as to "WHAT" could be wrong - A-Z, but nothing definite until the testing is done.  It could be as simple as a B-12 deficiency.  That would be great and a quick fix.  We'll see.

I am so "sick and tired" of being "sick and tired."  I know that's a clique, but so fitting; and never being able to plan anything.

I am praying for healing - TOTAL.

Anniversary Plus

We finally got Julie and Bret to celebrate their anniversary, but it will be on Friday and Saturday.  The even better upside of the celebration is that I get to party with the girls. YAHHHHHHHH!  I so enjoy them and love to spoil them when I can.  They are turning into such wonderful young ladies.  They are definitely not children any more.  They are so beautiful - inside and out.  I love them so much.

Girls At a Concert; a while ago.

Ween loves having them here too.  They show her so much attention, and of course she hates that and always wants to sleep with them so that will be a highlight too.

What to do.  What to do.  So many choices; so little time.  (WAHOO)

Casting Crowns

Being unable to "schedule" things in my life is EXTREMELY frustrating to me.  My life is so much easier when I have a schedule and can stick to it. I am told I have CONTROL ISSUES.  I don't see it but I have always been able to do so many things - concerts, games, parties, etc. Now I can't.  I WANT to go.  I have even gotten ready to go. Then my body shuts down. Today was one of those days.  


One of my favorite groups was in town - CASTING CROWNS.  Awesome group.  The "relative I can't mention" had tickets, of course, and I was going to go.  I had until 3:00 to decide.  Trying to do too much, when you finally feel well, has always been a problem with me. Tom always said I "overbooked my time."  That hasn't changed much except I don't have the energy I once had, and I think I still do. Oh well.  


I am blessed in so many ways, I really haven't anything to complain about and so I won't.  Thank you God for all you have given me.  You are an awesome God.

Every Four Years

Celebrating my birthday or anniversary every four years would just be a big BUMMER in my estimation.  I can't even imagine not getting presents or at least some sort of recognition for my birthday, so when Julie and Bret say "Its' no big deal to not celebrate on the date every year" I was surprised.


I say it's a very big deal so I, personally, believe they should REALLY "Party" for their anniversary next Wednesday.  The relative I can't mention suggested a night at one of the "Theme Park" resorts.  Sounds good to me.  I hope Bret agrees, but if not, it's their anniversary not mine. They are so much a part of our lives, I can't remember when they weren't here, so I want to help them any way I can.  We'll see.


The question is "If you only celebrate every four years is that the opposite of "Dog Years?"  If you were born in say 2,000 are you only 6?  If that's the case, I really wish my birthday was on Feb 29.  I could relive those extra years.  Maybe I'd make better decisions.  As Julie would say, "Makes you want to say Hmmmmm."

Wow

Imagine the surprise when I checked on my bank account today and my money from IRS was there.  It's not a lot, but I finally feel like I'm digging out of the financial hole that I have been living in for the last 3 years.  God is good.  It's taken a while, but I realize more and more that my decisions, bad or good, have a direct affect on what happens next.  WOW.  I think I finally get it.  It's only taken over 40 years and lots of mistakes.  I really hope I remember this lesson.  I don't want to go through it again.  His rainbow is a sign of the end of the storm.  I believe in rainbows.  Thank you God.

Is this my life?

It seems like every week, I see more doctors and have additional tests.  What do they do with all that blood they take? Where do the x-rays finally end up?  And, what exactly is a CAT SCAN?  (I don't even have a cat.)  Do they do DOG SCANs?  And, what is with the "Waking you up to give you sleeping meds?"

John Gedding
HGTV

This week has been a "feel good" week.  One of my doctors has put me back on predinsone.  I hate the "eating like a hog" effect that usually results, but I usually feel so much better.  Yet, I felt better BEFORE I even started the meds.  Maybe it's been the anticipation of new meds.

The family member I can't name just came back from CA.  I wanted to go, but Drs won't let me do much right now.

He did send me a photo of one of my favorite HGTV's stars.

Tom, who has just moved to San Fran, sent me 2 doz BEAUTIFUL tulips; all sorts of spring colors.  His note said the flowers were a consolidation prize for not getting to come to CA.  Whatever reason, I'll take flowers any day of the week.  God is good.

On and on

For the most part, my heart is not "Dancing" as much any more; an occasional blip, but nothing like it was.  I'm on medication for arrhythmia.  I'm having problems with my breathing, so we're still supporting the AMA by visiting as many doctors and hospitals as I can.

Nap time

My pulmonary doctor did not like the X-ray from the hospital, so he ordered a "CT SCAN" and I had that Wednesday, but have not heard from his office.  I went to my "regular" doctor's office and she said "I'm going to live until I die," or words to that affect.

Ween is playing "saran wrap" as I was gone 3 days and she missed me.  If I shift positions, she jumps up to see what I'm doing or what is happening.  It is so nice to have someone who is concerned about you.

She is the perfect pet - eats, sleeps, potties rarely, and stays by my side. If she could only cook, we'd have it made.

Life is an Adventure (and not by Disney)

After spending several days in the hospital, I am finally home with my own 'pharmacy.' This time it was my heart. I have been seeing a heart specialist for 6 or 8 months and could never document the "crazy" dance of my blood pumping organ.

On my way to taking Mock to work Monday, my heart started doing it's "Cha Cha" dance. Some times it quits after a few minutes. That day it didn't.  My heart doctor's office is on the road I was using to return to the apt.  I called ahead and asked if they could do a "quick" EKG.  I didn't plan on the "dance pattern" my heart produced, nor the fact that my blood pressure was 169/97.  Being across from the hospital is convenient, yet...  "Let me stop and walk my dog; she's in the car."  They assured me I HAD to be admitted, then! They would take care of my dog.  I called "The relative I can't mention" told him the situation and he happened to be off work for a doctor's appointment.  He said he would get Ween and take her home. I text Mock the location of the car, and proceeded to be "wheeled" across the parking lot to Sand Lake Hospital. I probably get the prize for most tests this week.  "The relative" said when he arrived, the nurses were playing with Ween outside and letting her potty at her leisure.

Mojave Dessert and Wind Mills

My View

Tom is traveling to CA and should be there some time tonight. This is a picture out of his car window.  I can assure you mine was not as pretty, although it was a suite. Staying anywhere else is nice; even in the best of locations, there's still no place like home.

The First Born

Over the years, many things have happened; hard decisions have been made;  Today is an extremely sad day for me as my eldest "born" son is leaving this coast to relocate to the West Coast.  This doesn't sound like much, in the scheme of life, but for me the moon is probably closer.

Christmas 2009

Our relationship has not always been easy, but I have always loved him with all my heart - even before he "physically"  arrived.  The last few years before his father died, we had become closer.

The Boys

I had come to depend on the fact that he was only 45 minutes away.  If I did not talk to him, I knew I could go see him any time I wanted.  Even when he moved to DC, it was still a manageable trip.
Now it will not be so easy.  I already miss him.

Just Another Day

Probably one of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while is that I am now "handwriting" in a diary that was given to me for Christmas.  My handwriting is hard to read, at times, but I like it because I can put info in there I can't post.  Even at that, I still don't write some of my deepest thoughts.

Holidays were good.  Received much more than I deserved, but I am very grateful for all I was given.  Didn't get to see my oldest son, Tom, but I understand where he is coming from financially and time wise.

PIPPI and THE BOSS

I'm still waiting for a resolution to my health issues.  I've applied with Mayo for a financial "consideration" for my surgery.  I don't know how that will go or how long it will be before I hear something, but I'm hopeful.

One of our friends from NC is visiting and Mock is playing "tour guide" for her.  I don't have the energy or strength to do the parks any more.  In all honesty, I think I'm over the Magic and don't really need to visit again for a while. Breakfast at Chef Mickey's, dinner at Kona - that's about all I can handle right now.  (No one can beat Disney fireworks.)

Time has been spent lately trying to rest and get over an intense sinus and bronchial infection. Just now am I starting to get over the residual "cough" that has lasted since before Christmas.

Edward is having a play produced at Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center and we have tickets for it.  It should be "interesting" if not.... as Tom would say.  I'm very proud of his abilities and strength to be able to complete this production.  I'm sure he is a nervous wreck.

Tom moves soon.  I wish he wouldn't.  It's been over a year since I have seen him.  When he moves, it will probably be longer.  Getting to the "other coast" is quite an ordeal.  It will be interesting to see how it goes.

The relative I can't mention is traveling.  He will be going to San Diego, San Francisco, and of all places, Kalispel, Montana.  I wish I could travel like I used to, but unless something phenomenal happens, I won't be able to.  You never know - God is still in control.

MEDICARE DECISIONS

After visiting MAYO this week, I am teetering on which direction to move at this point. I've dealt with bureaucracy all my working days.  Sometimes I actually have been able to accomplish goals by circumventing the "red tape."  Sometimes not.

Even coming close to understanding the Medicare system is beyond my expertise of knowledge.  That is where I find myself now-trying to accept their decisions on when, where, why, what, where, and certainly not the how.  Medicare will pay for my pre-op and post-op care at the Jacksonville clinic.  The surgery MUST BE PERFORMED in Rochester, MN at a cost of about $150,000.  I must pay to fly there, stay in a hotel for the week after, and fly back after the surgery to have the post-op done at JAX.  And, I have to have someone with me. They don't even do the lesser expensive surgery in Rochester, which is what my doctor is recommending.  In addition to that, they do not have, at this time, a doctor that does the surgery at their location.

In JAX the cost of the operation my doctor wants to do is $20,000.  I still have to stay in a hotel near by for a week because of the post-op care, but I would not have to fly there. I still have to have someone with me, but I have a better chance of getting someone to stay with me here than going to MN for a week.  MAYO doesn't offer in- hospital care after surgery at either location.

NOW - someone explain to me why MEDICARE has to charge an approximate $130,000 additional fee for a surgery that is more invasive, not recommended by my doctor, and more expensive for me?  This just does not make sense to me.  Is this why people cannot afford insurance?  I am beyond frustrated and confused.

The Week That Was

Being blessed is so totally neat.  My friend Vicki, came over from Pasco late Monday and stayed until Wed.  Spent the day at EPCOT, ate our way around the 29 Kiosks that are there now, and went to "Eat to the Beat" on Tuesday evening.   Hanson is not one of my groups, but being with friends is so much more special that it was worth staying for the concert.  I rested Thursday, and today I am privileged to have another friend here today. We're going to Houstons in Winter Park for lunch.  It is always great to be with Ruth.  I'm excited about her visit.

Tomorrow Dean is bringing his Men's Group and Mock is letting them into EPCOT about 10:00, while Vicki is coming back to see another friend, Margaret, who is flying into OIA on her way to a cruise.  We get to take her to Titusville so we'll have some time to "catch up." Wow.  What a busy and joyous week.  Thank you God.