A New Year

As I look back over this last year, the files of my mind hold so many experiences.  I ended last year, looking toward my life, yet so many unexpected things have transpired on different roads that I never dreamed of traveling down.  

I thought I might be back in school to finish my counseling degree; I wasn't planning on getting married again; I thought I would possibly be moving into a new house with Charles; and, on and on with things that could have happened and didn't, and things thought impossible coming to pass with little or no effort.

I've traveled some; vacationed for over a month; and, enjoyed creating a new life with a new husband.  This has been our first Christmas holiday together.  He spent entirely too much money on me so I've restricted him to only 2 presents at any given occasion.  (We'll see)

This is a picture of Bob resting after having surgery.  (There are some holiday decorations around him)  He's much better and I think anxious to get back to work.  His first day is tomorrow.  He's not sure if he has been reinstated at work, so he may be back home shortly after he leaves.  We'll see.

As I look toward this next year, I am trying to imagine what will be happening.  It's probably a good thing we don't know the future.  There would be nothing to look forward to - and that would be a sad commentary on life.

Merry Christmas

It is "theoretically," as Charles would say, already Christmas.  I am alone, in my living room, on the couch using my new laptop computer that my sons gave me for a present.  I love a MAC and find it so much easier to use than a PC, so I am good to go for using this new toy.

This week has been brutal.  I have worked over 60 hrs, had guests since the 23rd, sung in the processional, shopped, wrapped, walked Joey, tried to cook, ... and the list goes on.  I am exhausted and almost too tired to push down the keys, but I am Oh so grateful for all that God has given me and all the friends and family I will see tomorrow at our place.  

And, even if I never see another Christmas morning, I have already received more than I could ever deserve.  I love my family.  I love being able to work where I work.  I love all the new people I've met lately, but most of all, I feel a sense of peace in my life that had not been there for a while.  Peace is good.  And, my prayer for whoever reads this is that you too will experience the peace that God gives-all we have to do is ask.

Anger

Anger is a waste of energy. I have always believed it, but I try to practice the philosophy and pragmatic attitude that "Life is too short" to waste time and energy on things that do not matter and are not productive. I try to fill each day with positive ideas and things that will be uplift me and others. It even bothers me when I DO waste my time.

With that in mind, I must also say that WHEN I DO GET ANGRY, it is usually because of an injustice either done to me or one of the people closest to me. One of the two or three things that really make me angry is when I am accused of something I haven't done. I have tried to analyze WHY and I have come up with no real answers except I really don't like it. That is exactly what happened to me this past week.

An African American man came up to me this week and wanted to do one of my surveys. I explained that our company's policy is not to do surveys with people who volunteer, and that I must select the people who answer our questions. He stepped even closer into my face, twisted his face in anger and once again said, "I said, I want to do one of your surveys!" I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry sir. But we select people randomly for our surveys. It is company policy not to do surveys with people who volunteer to do them." "Where is your manager?" he asked. I directed him to Guest Services which was to the left of where he was standing. He walked into Guest Services and evidently complained to someone that I was a "Racist" because he wasn't allowed to do a survey.

The bottom line is that I explained it to Guest Services, called our MOD (Manager on Duty) and sent an email to my manager explaining what happened. They all said that I did the right thing and there wasn't any problem with what happened, at least on my part.

Did their statements make me feel better? Somewhat. Did I just forget the incident? Not on your life!

I have always believed that there isn't any one person in this world that I couldn't get along with, my mother excluded. I actually enjoy talking with our guests and walking around the parks all day. It is so neat being part of their "experience" to O-Town. I love hearing their stories of why they are here.

People visit from all over the world and add so much to my knowledge base daily. This man, on the other hand, bothers me even today. I know that I have let his accusation have too much of my valuable time. Being the Type-A personality that I am, I am having a hard time "Letting it go." Was this man for real? Was he a "plant" to see how I would react. It really doesn't matter. Ultimately I am responsible for my behavior only. Even now, I can still see his face "up close and personal" inside my own personal space. I am praying through my attitude and soon I hope the hurt will go away.

I do have one consolation though-My company has a policy that I must wear a name tag attached to the left shoulder of my shirt. For probably only the 2nd time in my almost 3 years of working there, I had forgotten my own name tag. I was wearing the name "Beth" on my shirt.

Poor Beth. I almost feel sorry for her. (My manager laughed out loud when I told her that)

My Mess

The living room is a total disaster; the bedroom has clothes that need to be folded and put away, and there are clothes to be washed. What am I doing? I am sitting here, typing, and ignoring the mess around me. That is very hard for me to do in that I am usually very organized and must have things put away, but for some reason I just have no energy to do any of what needs to be done.

There is still a lot of shopping I need to do and it is getting closer to Christmas every day. Bob has "over" bought and already wrapped the gifts he has and even has some ready to send north. He is doing fine after his surgery but the Dr recommends he stay off until after the first of the year. He is almost to the point of being bored though.

I had friends visit from Pasco on Sat. That was really awesome. I miss my life there, at times. Sometimes I almost feel that now is a dream and that I will awaken one day to find out I'm still teaching and Tom is still alive. I sometimes feel as if I am going through the motions of living this life. I don't know if that is normal, but it is at least what it is. And, I am what I am. Most of the time, that is all I CAN do.

Whew!

He made it through, despite all he thought. It took a little longer than the Dr first expected-a little more repair than originally indicated. And now, we are recouping at home on the couch.

Bob is not a wimp. I just want that noted. He is a ride mechanic and has always done "manly" things. But this pain "thing" is totally new to him. He's not use to NOT doing what he wants; when he wants. And, he can't - YET. I keep reminding him that this will be better soon and the pain will go away. (He's not sure.)

He wanted to get out today so we went to dinner @ Mimi's. It went well, but it was painful to get in and out of the car. I'm hoping he will let me give him some Tylenol PM tonight so that he can sleep. He was very restless last night and did not sleep well. So far, he's only taken 2 Aleve, which I applaud for his not wanting to take medications or get hooked on anything, but he does need to rest.

How long will it take to quit hurting, he asks. If I knew that, I could really make some money. "When it's ready, it will quit" is my answer. That's as close as I can get. He just says, "Mmmm."

(This is Bob recouping-"The Cat" is keeping watch on the back of the couch-all dressed up in his Christmas outfit-and a few decorations in the picture.)